life

A Delicate Question

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 3rd, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Sometimes I work the box office during my shift at a multiplex. We give discounts to seniors and it is usually obvious who gets the discount, but sometimes I get a ticket buyer who looks like maybe they’re old enough, but I can’t tell for sure. I do not want to make someone feel bad about looking older than they are, but I also figure most people want to save money. Is there a good way to ask someone’s age without offending them? --- NOT SURE HOW TO ASK

DEAR NOT SURE: Why ask? If the ticket pricing policy is posted, let the buyer decide. If they order a senior ticket, let them have it. If they don’t, let them pay full price. Even if they qualify for the discount, it may be more important to them to be taken for younger than they are, and I see no harm in that.

life

Grandpa’s Dementia Is Hard on Granddaughter

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | August 1st, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My grandpa was diagnosed with dementia five years ago while I was still in high school. When I came home on summer break this year I wasn’t sure if he recognized me at first when I went to visit him at his nursing home. His decline is breaking my heart and as much as I love my Gramps, I feel more and more that I should just skip the visits, especially if he doesn’t even know who I am. Does that make me a bad person? --- MISSING GRAMPS

DEAR MISSING: No, this doesn’t make you a bad person.

It’s not easy seeing someone you love disappear. But don’t assume that just because your grandpa doesn’t always recognize you that he has altogether forgotten who you are. No matter how far he slips away from the realities that surround him, you might still catch traces of the man you grew up loving, and for all you know, you may very well continue to be part of his new reality, just in a redefined way.

Hold tight to your memories of who he used to be, and when you visit do your best to roll with the role he assigns you on that particular day.

life

Trial by Fire

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | July 31st, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I graduated college with a BA in English two years ago and moved back home so I could start job hunting. After a frustrating few months, a temp job turned into a regular full-time one. The only trouble is the company didn’t tell me when they hired me that the there was a big consolidation just about to start and the office I was in was soon closed.

That put me in the job market again and this time it took me three months and a few more temp positions until I found another job. After a hefty commute to work every day, I pretty much didn’t do anything most of the time I was in the office. It turns out they lost funding for the project for which they hired me, and had to let me go when nothing else came along.

It’s now been another five months of looking for full-time work and I’m getting anxious. I do not want to live in my parents’ house forever, and I am constantly applying for jobs that I never hear back from, not to mention I am embarrassed to include the two short-term jobs on my resume because it makes it look like I’m hopping around. Is it always this hard to get a decent job? --- STILL SEARCHING

DEAR STILL: A lot of us go through the kind of patch you’re facing now. You lost two jobs through circumstances out of your control, but you can explain what happened on your next resume submission or cover letter, and certainly during any interviews you snag.

If nothing full-time is turning up, consider taking something part-time that might give you a foot in the door of a company or industry that interests you. At least you’d be making some money, and if it doesn’t look like the job is going anywhere, you can parlay your free hours into time spent continuing your hunt.

Try not to get too discouraged. Establishing a career can be like the old joke of having to kiss a lot of frogs before finding a prince. It may take a while, but when you get the job that clicks, it could prove well worth the wait and frustration.

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