DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year now, and we’re going strong. I love her and I know she loves me and that is an amazing thing. However, there is just one thing that makes me uncomfortable and jealous: her male best friend.

This guy best friend of hers was actually one of my good friends before I met her, and they started becoming friends when we started dating. However, as time progressed, they got closer and closer, which means more touching, more hugging, and they even say “I love you” to each other right in front of me, which makes me extremely jealous as her ACTUAL boyfriend.

These days, their friendship keeps escalating even more. They both coincidentally work at the same place they both hang out a lot over the week, and at most, I get to see and hang out with her during school and during the weekends when it’s just the two of us. It’s just gotten to the point of becoming very uncomfortable and sometimes when I’m with her and this guy best friend shows up (after she’s been asking about him for a while), I feel more like I’m third wheeling and I have to work even harder to get her attention.

I don’t want to be the controlling boyfriend that limits who she hangs out with, but I just think it’s crazy. They share “amazing” text messages, share hugs, playfully touch each other, have a crazy amount of inside jokes. Meanwhile, I’m over here with her getting mad at me for texting a good friend that’s a girl, who lives in CANADA, about how she’s doing. What should I do? Should I just bite my tongue and let it happen? I’ve been doing that for the time we’ve been dating and it’s torture and it hurts me so much. Please help.

From,

Feeling Jealous

DEAR FEELING JEALOUS: Y’know, FJ, nine times out of ten, I tell people who feel insecure around their girlfriend’s male friends to calm down and trust their girlfriends. It’s something of an insulting myth that you can’t have (straight) cross-gender platonic relationships without sex getting in the way.

(And I emphasize straight because nobody ever seems to ask this of gay men or lesbians, and bi and pan people wouldn’t be able to be friends with anyone.)

More often than not, it’s mostly a case of misplaced jealousy and the best thing you can do is talk openly and honestly about it with your girlfriend – be open about being jealous, be up front with needing a little reassurance and being walked back from the edge when you’re being an irrational bag of slop, etc and just trust your girlfriend  because, hey, she picked you.

Congrats, though. You have the dubious distinction of being that one time in ten when I think there’s legitimately something hinkey going on.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I think she’s cheating… but it sure as hell seems like it’s heading that direction. Hell, even if it’s just an emotional thing between the two of them, some lines are definitely being crossed here and that’s not cool. The fact that he can casually barge into what is ostensibly your time with your girlfriend is, at the very least, a boundary violation that’s very unfair to you.

And, to be perfectly frank, when your partner starts getting on your case about being too flirty/intimate with someone… well sometimes that’s a way of deflecting potential accusations by judo-flipping it onto you first.

So I’d say it’s time for a very long talk with your girlfriend about what’s going on with her and her bestie. It’s one thing to say “you can only hang around with the people I approve of” but it’s another to say “I’d appreciate more of your time and attention, especially since we’re, y’know, dating.” Or to say “I’d really prefer if our time could be OUR time, not me hanging around with you and your BFF”. Or to say “I’m not comfortable with the way you guys behave around me.”

Or you could quit dancing around the subject and ask her  “Are you sure you’re dating the right person? Because it sure as hell seems to me like you’d rather be with him.”

Regardless: I think it’s time you had that talk with her. Just be prepared; putting it all out there like that may well mean the end of the relationship.

Although, in fairness, with the way she seems to be treating you, I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.

Good luck.

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: So, my question is less relationship and more social, but I suppose what advice you give me I could apply to establishing relationships.

I recently got a job working as a site manager. I really like the job: Pays decent, co-workers are chill, flexible schedule, I supervise a good amount of people. Fun, right?

There’s a slight problem, though, at least in terms of appearances: It’s for a porn site.

Now, I have no problems working for this site. But socially speaking, I’ve had a really hard time discussing the extent of my profession to people. I think about 8 or so of my friends know, as does two of my old bosses who I’m on friendly terms with and my sister. For a lot of them, it was a struggle because I was really worried about what they’ll say. For most, they were supportive. A couple, however, had more straitlaced backgrounds, and it was clear that they only respected the fact I had a stable job. Talking sometimes gets dicey with them.

To complicate matters further, I’m a high-functioning/moderate autistic, and it’s not exactly easy to navigate these settings without feeling like I’m now some sex offender or something because I have trouble speaking in a way people can easily mesh with.

Of course, this brings me to my issue: If I’m having this much trouble talking to people who are long-time friends, how do I handle regular people when discussion of work comes up? I try to go for the “I’m under NDA, can’t talk about it” angle, but people get nosy these days about work, and I don’t want to look more like a curmudgeon than I already appear to be. Moreover, I live in a Midwestern city, so while there’s socially “liberal” elements, being in my field can be seen as far too much for many. On the one hand, some of my friends are moderate Christians who would not take this lightly (I was raised a lapsed Catholic).  On the other, my primary social scene (DIY music) is seeing more social-justice conservative types who speak of safe spaces and triggering, and some would certainly find my line of work to be “exploitative.” The vast majority of these people would, say, probably vote yes on Proposition 60 in California (even though it’s a poorly-written referendum). And this is to say nothing of dating women (which has never been a strong suit of mine to begin with), where answering about my work could become a very loaded question.

What do you suggest in handling these situations?

-A Different Sort Of Closeted

DEAR A DIFFERENT SORT OF CLOSETED: You have two choices, ADSoC. You can play the detail game, or you can just own it.

In the former, you give people the technical truth: you work for a company that does high-bandwidth data transfer and you manage the technical side of things. Good pay, cool co-workers, flexible hours, etc. What sort of data? Meh, mostly VOIP and streaming stuff, nothing terribly interesting. So what about you? This is the version you can wheel out at parties or family gatherings when talking about working in porn – even at several levels removed – would cause more problems than it’s worth.

In the latter, you take ownership of it and don’t treat it like it’s shameful. As I’m saying all the time – hell, I’m saying it in this very column – if you don’t roll it out like it’s something to be ashamed of or some deep dark secret, then most people won’t take it that way. Just a flat “enh, I’m a site manager for Brazzers/Burning Angel/Pornhub/whatever; I just keep the back-end running” will do. What do you do? Nothing that different from keeping YouTube/Vimeo/TikTok running smoothly. You don’t have anything to do with the content.

The fact of the matter is: you’re not doing anything to be ashamed of. While porn definitely has it’s problematic issues (especially regarding things like race or performers like James Deen), if the actors are all consenting and the company is ethical (not coercing it’s actresses into scenes they don’t want to perform, following the laws about workplace health and safety, etc.) then you’re more or less in the clear, ethically speaking.

What about the people who will judge you? Well… people are going to judge you. A

holes are gonna ass. You can’t really stop people from doing that. And – as both Tumblr and Reddit have shown – there will always be people with more enthusiasm than experience who’ll treat any deviation from their cause as a crime that makes you literally Worse Than Hitler. The fact that they act like that doesn’t make them right, however; mostly it makes them annoying.

Yeah, you’re going to run into people – folks in your social circle and potential dates both – who will side-eye you for it. You’re also as likely to find people who think it’s kinda awesome; more women than ever watch porn these days, especially online. You’ll never know if they’re one of those if you keep treating your job like something to be spoken of only in whispers.

(Of course, considering that almost everyone watches porn these days, I can almost guarantee that many of the people who’ll be looking down their noses at you will have visited that site - or your competitors - at some point in the very recent past. Possibly even that day.)

And to be perfectly honest: if you’re going to date somebody and they wouldn’t be ok about where you work, then you’re not likely to be all that compatible, period. If your job is going to be a dealbreaker, you’re going to be better of getting that out of the way early on so you can find people who are right for you.

TL;DR – give the technically correct, if general details if you really feel like you need to hide things. But I think you’d be better off in the long run getting comfortable with just letting people know.

Please send your questions to Dr. NerdLove at his website (www.doctornerdlove.com/contact); or to his email, doc@doctornerdlove.com)

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I am in a happy long term relationship with a very stereotypical nerdy genius type. He is a great guy and with the exception of two things drive me insane, we have a fantastic relationship.

He’s a physicist who is currently earning a second degree in engineering. And in the ultimate cliche while being absolutely brilliant, he is also completely lacking in any common sense or short term memory what so ever, especially when it comes to the people and spaces around him. A few examples:

1. He recently smacked one of my girlfriends on her ass to get her to step out of the doorway he wanted to enter. When confronted on the utter inappropriateness of his action, his response was “Well if she had been facing the other way I just would have bopped her on the head. What’s the big deal?”

2. I had major surgery on my elbow recently. He came up behind me and gave me a very tight hug, squeezing the exact spot of the surgical incision. I screamed in pain and would have chalked it up to a one time error, only he did three more times after that, leading me to tell him that until I am fully recovered he is banned from hugging me from behind.

3. Similar to the second example, he has a habit of constantly coming up behind me to try and hug me or kiss my neck. He thinks it’s sweet and romantic, however he does it at the worst possible times, such as when I am making dinner. I have burned myself several times because he snuck up behind me while I was stirring a boiling pot.

And that leads me into the other issue I have. He is 35 years old and because he is over weight, has low self esteem, and is extremely socially awkward, I am the first relationship he has ever had that has lasted more then a few months. And because I have been his first in so many things, he is the clingiest, neediest person I have ever met. He cannot go more then 5 minutes without needing to hold me and fondle me which makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially in public settings. When he gets socially overwhelmed he tends to treat me like a security blanket, literally draping himself on top of me and trying to kiss my neck, shoulder, whatever body part is closest to him. If I try to get him to stop being on top of me, he will still follow behind me. Our friends have commented many times that he acts like a puppy following his human, and that dynamic disturbs me immensely.

I don’t dislike affection, but I am not a PDA person beyond holding hands or a quick hug or kiss. And even when we’re alone together, there reaches a point where I am ready to just chill out and stretch on the couch, but he still needs to be on top of me. If I make plans to go out with my friends he immediately asks to tag along and gets sulky when I tell him I need some girl time.

I’ve tried explaining to him that every time he ignores my requests to stop being on top of me he is not respecting my boundaries, his response was to say that since we are in a serious relationship we shouldn’t have any of boundaries.

I don’t know if the problem is him or me or both. I just know that these two things are driving me crazy and we’ve reached the point where we’re looking for an apartment. I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to handle him not letting me have any space at all and if he keeps not paying attention to anything, I’m afraid he’ll set the apartment on fire! Is there a way to get him to pay more attention to the things that bother me or is there a way to teach myself to get less annoyed by it? I’ll take either one at this point. I love and adore him, I just don’t know how to deal with these two aspects of his personality on a constant basis.

Thanks for you help,

Not A Security Blanket

DEAR NOT A SECURITY BLANKET: So normally like to go through letters like these in the same way they’ve been laid out, addressing each issue as it comes up. But frankly, NASB, you dropped one GIANT red flag in the middle of this and I’m not getting past it.

“I’ve tried explaining to him that every time he ignores my requests to stop being on top of me he is not respecting my boundaries, His response was to say that since we are in a serious relationship WE SHOULDN’T HAVE ANY BOUNDARIES.”

(Emphasis mine)

Holy hopping sheep s

t, NASB, how did this line not tell you that this is a bad scene? Why did his saying those words not send you running like all of Hell and half of Hoboken was after you? I’m sorry, but being in a relationship does not negate the existence of boundaries and the fact that he so flagrantly disregards them – insisting that they shouldn’t even exist – is a GREAT BIG FLASHING sign that this relationship is in trouble.

You say he’s a great guy. OK, if you say so.

I don’t believe it, but I’ll roll with it for now.

The issue is that his behavior here is telling me that he’s got a giant host of problems. He smacked the ass of someone he presumably doesn’t have ass-smacking privileges with and doesn’t see the problem with it. He ignores your very clearly stated boundaries. He’s forever clinging to you – literally – in social situations, even when he knows they make you uncomfortable. He doesn’t give you space, ever, and he gets sulky and resentful that you need time to yourself or with your friends. Knowing all this – even knowing in advance that being in a tight space with him is going to drive you nuts – you’re planning on getting an apartment together?

I’m sorry to put it this bluntly but that’s an incredibly stupid idea. You’re getting annoyed by him because the way he’s acting isn’t just immature and clingy but downright unacceptable in a lot of cases. I sympathize that the guy’s got low self-esteem and a bad case of being socially awkward but frankly, being socially awkward doesn’t excuse you from having to act like a grown-ass adult. This isn’t something you need to learn how to get over; your boyfriend needs to grow the hell up and get over this behavior. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t think he’s going to. Honestly, I think it’s going to get worse and the longer this relationship goes on, the more you’re going to be his mommy as well as his girlfriend.

Look, you tell me you’re happy and have a fantastic relationship, and honestly, I have to take you at your word. But this isn’t a case of someone with a few inconvenient but otherwise lovable flaws. This isn’t one or two problems, this is someone who’s acting like a 13 year old who continues to ignore your comfort or even basic wishes to not be smothered, figuratively and literally. If you want him to improve, then you’re going to have to lay down the law and let him know that his behavior’s unacceptable and needs to change. And I don’t mean a month or two on his best behavior until he figures you’ll let him slide again, I mean legitimate, lasting change. And frankly, if he doesn’t… well, I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I strongly suggest you rethink your relationship with him.

And whether you do end things or not, do not get an apartment together. 

Sorry to be so blunt NASB, but that’s how I see it.

Good luck.

Please send your questions to Dr. NerdLove at his website (www.doctornerdlove.com/contact); or to his email, doc@doctornerdlove.com)

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m a chronically single bisexual dude. I spent my 20s pursuing my passions, and I honestly wasn’t thinking about dating! Then I hit 30 and started to worry I’d missed the opportunity to find someone. I decided it was time to put effort into trying to date since it clearly wasn’t happening on its own, but I wasn’t in a good place mentally to start. It took a year of working on myself after that to get to a place where I finally feel confident and capable enough to actually put myself out there.

I’m on basically every big dating app and site now. I write thoughtful messages, pick people based on their personalities or interests, avoid conventionally attractive people since they’re already overwhelmed with interest, and I try to be open-minded about appearance, body type, age, gender, and sexuality. I put a lot of time and effort into making the best profile I can, and I try to connect with as many potential matches as possible.

I’ve kind of bombed horribly on all fronts. I mentally prepared myself for all kinds of rejection, but I can’t even get to the part where someone might reject me because I never hear back from anyone. I don’t really get any responses or messages or interest from women or men (not counting the random 50-year-old guys who just happen to be throwing out dick pics in all directions and seeing what sticks)

I turned to the internet to see what advice was out there for single people who had been unsuccessful, and it all seemed to boil down to advice for improving yourself, but… What if I’m already trying my best with all of that? To cover some of the “you have to fix yourself first” advice: I love fashion and dress well, I use an embarrassing number of skincare products and put a lot of care into my appearance, I’m at a healthy weight, in decent shape and work out a lot, and I’m already in therapy to work on my depression and mindset. I’ve met all the singles I could hope to meet through my current social circle. I already go to meetup groups and things like that. I’ve taken all the advice I can on taking good photos and having a good profile and sending good messages on dating sites. I have lots of hobbies (solo and with other people), hard-earned skills and interesting life experiences, and I think that I’m a good conversationalist, funny, passionate, caring, and overall a great guy with lots to offer! And it’s taken me a lot of hard work to reach the point where I can say that and feel like I’m good enough for someone else.

I honestly think I’m being the best version of myself I can, but the end result is that I’m still not good enough for anyone. There’s a big part of me wondering if I’m already following what all the advice says and doing my best but still failing, there must be something really wrong with me. I do have an ugly face and I’m short, but obviously I can’t do anything to change that, so I’ve been trying to make up for it with the good qualities that I do have. Lately, though, I’ve started to question if these might be flaws that other people won’t be willing to look past no matter how hard I try.

Nobody owes me anything, of course, and I don’t blame anyone for my lack of success, but it still stings to feel like I’m not up to par for anyone out there even at my best.

What do I do? If my best isn’t good enough, and my worst qualities are ones I can’t physically change, where do I go from here? When I started trying online dating a few months ago, I didn’t expect it to be a huge success, but I was hopeful that I’d at least be able to find a few people willing to go on a date with me. Now I’m starting to doubt I have any value to other people, and I’m very ashamed of myself, especially when I have single friends of all kinds succeeding with OLD where I’m failing miserably.

I’m doing my best to stay positive and barrel on, but I feel like all of my hard work to feel worthwhile has unfortunately started to fall apart as a result of this. Should I just wait to turn 50 and send out dick pics to all the strangers I can find? (joking!) Please help!

Doing My Best, Starting To Stress

DEAR DOING MY BEST, STARTING TO STRESS: First of all DMBSTS: you need to give yourself some credit for the work you’ve done. You’ve put a lot of effort into your mental health and into your life and that’s incredible. You have done a lot for yourself and regardless of how things are going at this minute, you’ve achieved more than you realize. You should be proud of all of that.

Second of all: You know what words leapt out at me here? “Dealing with my depression”. This is important. This is a significant issue and one that casts doubt on some of your claims of flaws because depression is a goddamn liar. Depression whispers in your ear that your worst fears and anxieties are true, that all of your flaws are worse than you’d thought and that everything is pointless. And it is all the more convincing because not only does it hit your greatest anxieties, but it does all of this with your own voice. And I’ve been there, I’ve done that, I’ve done the work and I’m here from the future to tell you this fundamental truth: all of the things depression tells you is bulls

t.  Such as, say, your supposedly “ugly” face.

As I’ve said more times than I can count in this column if I had a nickel for every self-proclaimed “ugly” guy who turned out to be anywhere between average to “no, you’re actually good looking”, I’d be having mecha fights with Elon Musk in a life-size mock-up of Tokyo 3. We already zoom in on what we assumeare our imperfections when we look in the mirror, because we are hyper-focused on them. We see them clear as day and twice as large because we’re so familiar with the topology and landscape of our face that they stand out to us like mountains. But what we think of immense and of vast importance are often so minor to other people that they’d never notice unless we specifically drew their attention to it.

Depression and anxiety take all of that and dial it up to 11, and then it snaps the dial off because F

K YOU THAT’S WHY.

Like I said: depression is a liar, and it will beat you down if you let it. But recognizing it and learning how to fight it makes all the difference. That’s why it’s good that you’re working with a therapist about this.  Getting depression under control and realizing just how much of it is bulls

t is going to be the single best thing you can do for yourself. Learning to love yourself is a huge part of relationships. It’s not that you have to think you’re the hottest thing since World War III or that you’re perfect and that anyone would be a fool to NOT be with you. It’s learning to believe that, even if you’re not perfect, you’re still worthy of love. Even if you have flaws, you’re still worthy. Even if you’re not having the success you wish you had, you’re still worthy.

That’s something to hold on to, even when it feels like there’s nothing you can do.

But that doesn’t mean the answer is “stop trying to date until you get your depression managed”; it’s just tact that you should pursue while pursuing dating. Another is changing up how you’re approaching dating because right now, you’re getting in your own way.

So let’s talk a little about what you’re doing and what you can do differently.

I think the first problem is that you’re trying to do too much all at once and you’re giving yourself a nasty case of burn-out. This is really common, especially among guys. There’s a tendency for men to be what The Love Gap author Jenna Birch calls “linear developers”: we tend to treat everything as a linear process. To get to X (in this case, being “ready” to date), we have to have get A1 – W28 done first. Once all that is taken care of then we can date. And that means that we spend a lot of time doing anything but dating, so by the time we’re ready, that’s the only thing we do. So now we’re insanely invested in the outcome because we’ve just put all this work into getting to this point for years.

And it makes things difficult because a lot of times, the people we want to date – particularly straight women – develop like a web: cultivating and developing their lives more or less simultaneously. So they’ve been ready to date and frustrated by the fact that they’re on a different timeline than the people they’re interested in.

So now there’s a massive disconnect between potential matches, which fuels the frustration because here we are, we’re finally ready and nothing is happening. And that kicks us square in the ghoulies because after living for this moment, our self-worth gets so wrapped up in the outcome that this lack of success means that everything else we’ve done is worth less and we’re worthless.

And our emotional resilience falls apart.

Take in your case, DMBSTS: you’re putting in all the effort and getting nothing back, which is cratering your self-esteem. Part of the problem is that, frankly, you’re putting in all the effort. You’re throwing so much of yourself into this that you don’t really have any reserves. Worse, you’re doing it so broadly and inefficiently that you’ve made it hard to get any returns on your emotional investment. So you need to dial this back.

The fact that you’re on “every dating app out there” is an example of this. Even allowing for hyperbole, when you divide your attention over multiple dating apps, you end up spreading yourself too thin. You have too many people, too many apps, too many messages and spend too much time on all of them. You end up with the paradox of choice (too many options) and diffusing your time and energy. So start by narrowing your focus to one, maybe two apps at the most. Different apps have different cultures and attract different audiences. Match is more oriented for serial monogamists while Tinder is shallow and superficial by design. Bumble and Hinge are both aimed more for people looking for relationships, while Scruff, Grinder and Recon are far more hook-up oriented. OKCupid, the 400lb gorilla in all of this, tends to be more raucous and “anything goes” which is both a blessing (everything under one roof!) and a curse (people looking for one-night stands keep deluging people who’re looking for commitment).

Pick one or two that most match with your immediate goals and the type of person you’re looking for, and let your other accounts go inactive for a while. If you decide to switch apps, take a one-in, one-out approach, to keep yourself from getting overwhelmed.

Next: dial back the level of investment you’re making. As counter-intuitive as it may seem – even considering some of my advice on the subject – you are putting too much effort into that first message. It’s good to be personal and thoughtful, but there comes a point where you’ve invested so much in that message that the lack of response wrecks you. Your goal should be two-fold: get them to check out your profile and get a conversation started. That’s it. Don’t overthink it, don’t put too much time into it and don’t write them a novel. Give them a reason to check you out and to reply to you. Ask a question, have plenty of conversational hooks in your profile and then move on to the next person.

Just as importantly: message the people you’re attracted to. That bit about not messaging the conventionally attractive folks? That’s not you making a smart play, that’s you screwing yourself over because you don’t believe they could be interested in you. It’s just another way that you let your depression rule your life and cheat yourself out of potential happiness. They may be getting tons of messages but that doesn’t mean that you don’t stand a chance. Not messaging them doesn’t improve your odds, it just means that you continue telling yourself that you’re not good enough to try to even talk to them. Reinforcing your own sense of worthlessness isn’t a successful dating strategy, even if you’re dressing it up in a misplaced sense of consideration for others.

The third thing to keep in mind: online dating should be a supplement to how you meet people, not a replacement. Even in this day and age, most people aren’t meeting their partners via Tinder and OKCupid, they’re meeting them through work, through friends and through shared activities. Living your life in such a way that it brings you in contact with other people with similar interests is part of how we increase our potential dating pool. And in fairness: you’re doing that. But part of the problem, I suspect, is that you’re approaching this as “If I go to X, I will find Y people I want to date,” which is a mistake. Your goal in meeting people should be just that: meeting people. If some of them are folks you’ll want to date right off the bat, then yahtzee! But most folks aren’t; that’s nothing to do with you or them, that’s just numbers. We’re not attracted to everyone we meet, or even the majority of people we meet – especially right off the bat. The number of people we meet that we want to date right away is small. The number of people we grow attracted to as we get to know them? That’s much higher.

Just as importantly, you may not meet people you want to date at that Meetup or in your social circle… but you more likely to meet someone who’ll introduce you to the people who you want to date.

That, however, is another place where you have to be willing to take the initiative. If you’re looking to increase the number of potential partners, then ask your friends for help. Let them know you’re looking to date and do they know anyone that you might click with? They may not have anyone in mind right off the bat… but the window doesn’t slam shut if they don’t have anyone right then and there. You’re meeting and getting to know folks all the time and so are they. So if they know you’re single and looking and they meet someone new who might be your particular shot of whiskey? Then they know to try putting you two together.

But the most important thing you need to remember? Dating is a numbers game. You maximize your odds of meeting people as best you can, but there’s always going to be an element of chance. You need the right person in the right place, at the right time. That can be hard to get to line up. Some of the folks you meet may not be in the right place, for you or for them. Or they may not be the right person yet.

A wise man once said: it’s possible to make no mistakes and still lose. That’s not weakness. That’s not a sign that there’s something wrong with you. That’s just life. But as long as there’s life, there’s the chance to make it all work.

What you can’t do is compare your journey to anyone else’s. Some people have an easier time in dating and that has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. If you were to do the exact same things they did, you would get entirely different results than them. Not because there’s something wrong with you, but because you’re not them. You’re on your own journey, carving your own path in ways that are unique to you.

And your journey is far from over. This isn’t the end. This isn’t even the beginning of the end. This is the end of the beginning.

Good luck.

Please send your questions to Dr. NerdLove at his website (www.doctornerdlove.com/contact); or to his email, doc@doctornerdlove.com)