Ask Someone Else's Mom by Susan Writer

COVID-Caused Wedding Cancellation Makes LW Wonder About Gift

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My second cousin was supposed to get married with a big church wedding and reception this month. Both my mother and I were sent save the date cards, so we knew we would be invited to the wedding. We went ahead and shared the cost of one of the more expensive items in the couple’s registry, figuring this way we could more easily afford something nicer together that would have been a stretch for us separately.

The big, formal wedding was cancelled, and the couple was married in a private, backyard ceremony, with just the immediate family attending. Neither my mother nor I are particularly close to the bride, and we understand the realities of the times, but we wondered if the bride and groom should return the wedding gifts they received from people not at the wedding. --- NEVER GOT TO THE WEDDING

DEAR NEVER GOT TO THE WEDDING: As I see it, the gift is for the couple, not payment for a seat at the wedding.

Think of it as a similar situation to a guest having to cancel their attendance at the last minute. Would you expect that guest to request the bride and groom to return the gift they already may have sent?

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