Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Friend Concerned After Reader Confides Feelings

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was feeling really down the other day, and I told one of my good friends that I sometimes think I am worth more dead than alive. I said it because I bought a sizable insurance policy after my daughter was born. I don’t mean to sound morbid, but when I am struggling to pay for food and worried sick about everything, I remember that my daughter gets $1 million when I’m gone. That said, I’m not thinking about offing myself. I guess I hold onto that fact in case I never get my finances together. Anyway, my friend now calls me every week worried I’m going to do something rash. I am not. How can I calm her down? -- Not Suicidal

DEAR NOT SUICIDAL: You may not consider yourself suicidal, but you are not in a healthy frame of mind. Your friend, who cares about you, is right to check in to make sure that you are not teetering on the edge of taking your life. The dangle of the $1 million for your daughter is a hefty lure that could become more attractive if your circumstances grow direr.

What you may want to do is see a counselor. In the best of worlds, it would be good to see a psychologist and a money manager. With support from professionals, you may be able to climb out of your crisis and be able to see the world from a more positive perspective. For now, thank your friend for checking in. It is a kind and helpful thing for her to do. Hopefully it gives you the knowledge that you are loved no matter what your circumstances.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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