Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Husband Doesn't Want to Attend Destination Wedding

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my mentees is getting married overseas, and she invited my husband and me to her wedding. I really want to go. I like her so much. She has given us a fair amount of time to get ourselves in order, too -- the wedding is more than a year away.

My husband does not have a passport and does not want to get one. He is happy staying in the United States and thinks it’s frivolous to get on a plane to go overseas to a wedding. I disagree. This young woman is important to me, and I want to support her. I have traveled overseas before with my sister and some college friends. If I go, this would be the first time I would travel by myself. Do you think I should go anyway? -- Going to the Wedding

DEAR GOING TO THE WEDDING: Given that you have traveled successfully abroad already, it is clear that you know how to travel internationally. It’s too bad that your husband chooses not to join you, but if he is dead set against it, then you are left to make an independent choice. Since you feel drawn to attend this wedding, do a bit more research. Find out from the bride who else is going and if there might be someone who could be your travel buddy. Flying with someone who is going to the same event could make your trip that much richer. But if that doesn’t work out, just go!

Be sure not to needle your husband about his choice, though; you have to be OK with both of your decisions. That attitude might actually get him to reconsider broadening his horizons at some point.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Friends & Neighbors | Marriage & Divorce

Friend Has Terrible Breath

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend from my son’s school who is active in the PTA, and so am I. We get along great, and he is one of the most engaged people on our team. I like working with him, except that he has really bad breath. I mean, it's horrible. He knows it, too. He often puts his hand over his mouth as he is talking, which can make it hard to understand his words but easier to stomach the smell. I try to position myself so that I’m not directly in line with his face so that it can be easier to talk to him. Besides that, is there anything I should do? I can’t imagine that it would be smart for me to say anything to him about it directly. -- Bad Breath

DEAR BAD BREATH: This is a challenging situation to deal with. Unfortunately, it is both common and uncomfortable. For a variety of reasons, most people have had bad breath before. For someone with a chronic condition, foul breath is often a sign of a serious medical condition, not just halitosis. Still, it’s not your place to inquire, especially since you know he is aware of it. This is a grin-and-bear-it situation.

For anyone reading who may suffer from bad breath, you should make sure you are brushing and flossing regularly -- especially after meals to remove any food particles. Know that gum disease, diabetes or a sinus infection can cause halitosis. When in doubt, go to the doctor to find out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Read more in: Friends & Neighbors | Etiquette & Ethics