Sense & Sensitivity

Reader Debates Moving Abroad for Husband's Job

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother of three children under the age of 15 residing in Connecticut. Recently, my husband has been offered a job overseas. We have been discussing moving for the new job because it would be the best opportunity for his career.

I wouldn’t mind moving, but I am very worried about my children’s reaction. They have lived here their whole lives and are very attached to our family home, their school and their friends. I am not sure if it is the right thing to follow my husband’s career and uproot my family or remain here and have my husband keep his current job. How do we make this decision? -- To Leave or Not To Leave, Stamford, Connecticut

DEAR TO LEAVE OR NOT TO LEAVE: Moving is a constant for many working people. How you move is what can be the creative solution to a mobile challenge. Talk to your husband about the pros and cons of this new job location. What can you and the children learn from spending time there? What will be difficult? What will be worth it? Present the move to your children as an adventure where they will learn and grow. When they push back about leaving their friends, remind them of the technology they can use to stay in touch. Your attitude toward the move is what will keep them focused. I say go for it. Manage everyone’s expectations and expand your horizons. It will be bumpy, but worth it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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