Sense & Sensitivity

Husband Doesn't Pay Attention to Wife's Schedule

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a huge argument with my husband because I feel he doesn’t make enough time for me. We’re both working professionals, but we approach our lives and work differently. I will see to it that I set aside time for him to let him know I’m thinking about him and I'm always going to be there for him.

The other day, I told my husband about an important meeting, including the time and date. He decided to call during the meeting, but I didn’t have my phone on me. He got one of the secretaries in the office to interrupt the meeting. I was livid! How do I prevent this from happening again? Should I add my important meetings to his calendar, or would that be too much? -- Monday Meeting, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MONDAY MEETING: There are likely layers to the meaning of what happened between you and your husband. You called him on not being attentive to you and then shunned him for going out of his way to be attentive. Yes, he should have known that if you were in a meeting, he should wait. But his attentiveness is, at best, rusty. Rather than blowing up about this misstep with him, thank him for calling, but point out that the timing was terrible. Remind him that you had told him about your unavailable moments, and ask him not to interrupt a meeting unless it is a life-or-death emergency. Leaving a message would have made you happy because it would have shown his thoughtfulness toward you.

Suggest that he allow you to input key times in your schedule when you are unavailable to make it easier for him to know when he cannot reach you. But don’t do more. Your husband needs to do his part to strike a respectful balance. Tell your secretary that you should not be disturbed during key meetings, even by your husband.

Recent on uexpress