DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 22-year-old guy, and my girlfriend is 20. I am about to graduate from college, and my girlfriend works in our hometown. I love her and can see myself spending the rest of my life with her, but I am worried that we are rushing our relationship. She leaves me not-so-subtle hints about marriage. The other day she came home with a T-shirt with the word fiancee on it and hinted to me that we will be getting married soon. How do I talk to her about slowing down our relationship without making it seem like I am unhappy? -- Not Ready for Marriage, Sausalito, California
DEAR NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE: Get ready for one of many heart-to-heart discussions with your girlfriend. Invite her to sit down and talk to you. Ask her why she got the T-shirt saying fiancee, given that you two are not engaged. Tell her that you love her and believe you have a future, but you are not ready to take the next step. Be prepared to tell her why. If it’s because you haven’t figured out yet how to earn a living or how you plan to grow into adulthood, tell her.
This could be a turning point in your relationship, depending on how the conversation unfolds. Be prepared to stay open and honest -- and true to your path.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)