DEAR HARRIETTE: My son graduated from high school six months ago. He does not want to go to college, and he doesn’t really have goals. I am so worried about him. When he was growing up, we always talked to him about college and building a career, but he just isn’t interested.
He got a job at a gun-making company, of all places. His job is to assemble guns. It’s a small business in a nearby town, and he makes good money. But this is not what I want for him. I know it’s legal, but I hate the idea of it.
Should I try to convince him to leave this job or give him space to find his way? I’m worried because I don’t want him to get into gun culture. A bunch of his friends like going to shooting ranges and stuff. I don’t think that’s a good idea for him. But he is a high school graduate and 18 years old. He has the right to make his own decisions. I know I can’t control my son, but I want to guide him. Is it too late? -- Bad Decisions, Tampa
DEAR BAD DECISIONS: You cannot live your son’s life for him, as much as you might want to. While you may not love his choice of employment, at least he has a legal job. He will learn discipline and timeliness at this job, especially if he is on the assembly line. This may also open his eyes to how he would like to spend his future. Some people enjoy rote work, while others want a different type of challenge. Rather than trying to direct him to another line of employment, encourage him to do his best on this job. He doesn’t have to stay there forever, but doing well is important for his employment record.
In terms of how he spends his free time, you already know you cannot control his actions. You can remind him to be extremely cautious when using guns. Point out the obvious: He must always follow the law. You live in a state that allows the open carry of weapons. Your son is of age to own a firearm, so you cannot control that. You can continue to talk to him about safety, though.