Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Social Media Posts Cause Awkward Moments

DEAR HARRIETTE: I post a lot on social media, which is fun. It got me in a bit of hot water this summer, though. I was driving with my family and posting shots along the way. When I got to my destination, I started getting messages from people who live there asking me if we could get together. I had already planned my trip, and we didn’t have time to visit with the people who were getting in touch with me. I felt kind of bad about it, but what could I do?

My husband is always telling me I shouldn’t post so much. He likes flying under the radar. He used this experience to do an “I told you so.” I get that there can be awkward moments, but I also don’t think I have to see everybody who asks me just because they are tracking me on social media. How should I handle this in the future if people who see my posts want to get together? -- On the Grid, Winston-Salem, North Carolina

DEAR ON THE GRID: Some people post their experiences on a slight delay so they aren’t revealing their lives in real time. You can consider waiting until you get home to share your story. The added benefit here is that people in your hometown don’t know when you are away, so it could keep your home safer, too.

You can also not respond to people who are reaching out as you are on an adventure. You can even post that you won’t be answering people’s inquiries until you finish your trip. That should do it!

Read more in: Etiquette & Ethics | Friends & Neighbors

Husband's Dye Job Looks Terrible

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has taken to dyeing his hair black. Never mind he has had white hair for about 10 years. Going all the way to black looks pretty severe to me. When I have suggested he go for a softer color, he balked. He said it doesn’t matter if people knew him with white hair, and he is dyeing it himself. He lets it fade and colors it when he feels like it, so it’s kind of messy.

I want to figure out how to support him through this period, which kind of feels like a midlife crisis. If he’s going to do it, I think he should take it more seriously so he doesn’t look crazy. I suppose I should be happy he didn’t go out and buy a luxury car or something. Still, he looks kind of strange. How can I help him? -- Good Wife, Milwaukee

DEAR GOOD WIFE: Rather than complain about how sloppy or crazy you think your husband looks, offer to help him maintain his new look. If he is doing at-home dyeing, offer to be his colorist. Read the box and follow the directions. It can be a fun way for the two of you to bond. Once your husband gets comfortable with your help, you may be able to introduce a slight color change. Go to the store and study the different colors offered. Often the colors presented for men include touch-up brushes for mustaches and beards too.

Have fun with your husband during this time. He will appreciate your welcoming of his quirky idea to recapture a moment of youth. If you help him figure out a color and maintenance schedule that keeps him looking consistent, you may even get used to his new look.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Love & Dating