DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a former intern who reached out to me recently to ask if I would give her a recommendation for a job. The job she wants to get is one that I seriously doubt she can do. She was not attentive while she worked with me, she wasn't a strong writer and she was a poor communicator. The job she applied for is in the communications field. I do not want to badmouth this young lady, but at the same time, I do not want to lie. If I misrepresent her, she will likely fail in the job, and my credibility will come into question. How should I handle this? -- Wanting to Help, Grand Rapids, Michigan
DEAR WANTING TO HELP: Contact your intern directly and request a meeting -- face-to-face if possible. Be honest with her: Tell her that during her tenure with you, she did not demonstrate skills that would suggest that she would be proficient at the job in question. Ask her what she has done since then to strengthen her abilities. Ask her if she has worked for anyone who can vouch for her in this capacity. That person should be her reference.
Tell her that you care about her and her well-being. To that end, you cannot, in good conscience, recommend her for something for which you believe she is unprepared. If you can, suggest a line of work for which she may be better suited.