Dear Ilana and Jess: I’m starting my sophomore year of college. If I’m being honest, I am super excited to have my space and dorm back, but, I didn’t exactly organize it well last semester. How can I do better this time? – Erin

Dear Erin: You have a lot to keep track of in college and very little time to waste tracking it. Organization is a task that gets tossed to the wayside more often than not, and sometimes straightening up can feel like a needless (and mindless) chore. But to really create an organized life, you have to start with your living space. Here’s how.

Start from day 1. After lugging your entire life into the center of your dorm room, it’s tempting to leave it there to deal with some other time. Sadly, procrastination and organization are incompatible. To set off on the right track, don’t make straightening up a “do-it-tomorrow” task. Get yourself settled as soon as you get in. Place items in logical locations and keep like with like, to make it easier to remember where everything went. Keep the items you’ll be using the most in the most visible and accessible places.

Organize each “compartment” of your life. An organized room is one thing, an organized mind is another. Getting your space in order is the first step, but there’s plenty more where that came from. You’ll have syllabi for each of your classes. Before you start in on your homework, figure out what’s coming. Get a physical planner or electronic calendar, and plug in all the important due dates for major assignments as soon as you have them.

Practice makes perfect. Don’t just organize things once and leave it at that. Remember kindergarten, when you had to put things back where they belonged after you were done using them? It still applies. Make a habit of staying organized every day, and bookend the mornings and evenings with this habit. Take ten minutes at the beginning and end of every day to make sure everything is in its place, including your notes and homework.

Say This: “If I get my room organized today it will give me peace of mind and set the tone for the rest of the semester. It’s better in the long-run if I get everything sorted now.”

Not That: “I can always do it tomorrow.”

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: https://cognitionbuilders.com. To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: http://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/books/detail?sku=9781449488055.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Dear Ilana and Jess: I’m moving back in with my college roommate next week, and I’m dreading it. We argued a lot last semester. How can I curb this? – Lenny

Dear Lenny: Sharing close quarters highlights a million little things that can lead to conflict. To keep the peace, there are a few, important things we recommend -

First, set ground rules. The best medicine is prevention, as they say. Leave little room for conflict by setting clear cut expectations and ground rules from Day 1. These rules should cover a number of things — especially the things you wouldn’t expect to negotiate. Think about the conditions you need to feel comfortable in your living space. Ask yourself, and ask your roommate: when can we keep the TV on and when do you want it off? Are we comfortable with significant others spending the night? Can I play music through my speakers or should I use headphones? Let your answers guide the boundaries you set and rules you agree to. It can be beneficial to write these rules down and make your own “roommate contract.”

Talk to them. Communication is key for any good relationship, and that includes the relationship you have with your roommate.

Setting ground rules is not the same as following them. All relationships require upkeep, and that means revisiting expectations. If your roommate breaches contract, speak to them directly. Enter this conversation calmly; don’t engage if you’re too angry to be civil.

Stick to the facts. Once the two of you are cool enough to speak, talk about the facts, not your opinions. One of the benefits of a roommate contract is that it eliminates ambiguity and makes it harder to backpedal. When airing your grievances, be as specific as possible. It’s helpful to share examples of when and how your roommate upset you. The more evidence you have, the harder it is for them to dispute your claims. Most importantly, bring up each issue as it arises; don’t ignore your frustrations until they accumulate and you explode.

Finally, and if need be, get your RA involved. Sometimes, we can’t resolve our conflicts on our own and we need to enlist the help of a mediator. There are plenty of people who need to make a change when it comes to housing. If you see that this relationship just isn’t working out, it’s time to find a better match.

Say This: “[Roommate's Name], when we moved in, we agreed that we’d only have guests until 10:30. In the last week, your boyfriend/girlfriend has been here on Monday until midnight, Wednesday until 1:00 AM, and Thursday until 1:00 AM. It’s really affecting my schedule. Can we please talk about this?”

Not That: “Why do you even need to hang out here? Can’t you go to his/her room?”

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: https://cognitionbuilders.com. To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: http://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/books/detail?sku=9781449488055.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Dear Ilana and Jess: I’m about to start my first year of college. How do I know what to bring? – Kiana

Dear Kiana: You may be accustomed to your run-of-the-mill, back-to-school, department-store-run, but this is another thing entirely. You’ve probably never had to pack day-to-day items for long-term use. Maybe you’ve never even moved houses or taken a trip. From storage containers to dryer sheets, it’s important to make sure you have everything you need for the long haul. Where to begin?

First, make a list. Sounds deceptively simple, but you’d be surprised by how many people don’t start here. Next, break the list down into categories. Use whatever breakdown makes sense to you, but we suggest the following: bedroom needs, storage, laundry supplies, school and desk supplies, electronics, shared items, clothing, toiletries, household and kitchen items, miscellaneous.

When you’re done writing the list, carry it on you as you go about your day, so that you can jot down anything you need but may have forgotten on the first round. When you start to pack, turn this list into a checklist. Voila.

Next, check your college’s list of approved items. You may think it’s unimportant – until you buy a brand-new microwave, only to have it confiscated during the first week of classes. Colleges have a lot of rules about what you’re allowed to bring and always have a list of prohibited items.

Read the student handbook – yes, read, don’t just skim, as most people tend to. Effectively, that handbook is a contract, and you’ll be considered responsible for upholding it, regardless of whether you bothered to read it or not. Reading things carefully is a big part of adult life, and this is no exception; you should always know what you’re agreeing to.

Finally, coordinate with your roommate. Most colleges will provide you with your roommate’s name and contact information before the semester starts. Reach out to your roomie-to-be and coordinate who will bring what with them; especially when it comes to bigger items, like a TV or mini fridge.

Say This: “Hi! This is Kiana, your new roommate. I can’t wait to meet you! I’m doing some packing for school right now, and I wanted to reach out so we can coordinate what we’re bringing; specifically, the bigger items. Maybe one of us can bring a TV and the other can bring a mini fridge?”

Not That: “Just bring whatever you have, and I’ll do the same.”

Say This, Not That is based on the work of Cognition Builders: a global, educational company headed by Ilana Kukoff (Founder & CEO) and Jessica Yuppa Huddy (Chief Learning Officer). Everywhere from New York City to California to Shanghai to Zurich, the Cognition Builders team is called upon by A-list entertainers, politicians, CEOs, and CFOs to resolve the conflicts that upend everyday life. When their work is done, the families they serve are stronger than ever. With their new book, Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter Kukoff and Yuppa Huddy have selected the most common conversational mistakes parents make, and fixed them. For more information, please visit: https://cognitionbuilders.com. To purchase Say This, Not That To Your Teenage Daughter visit: http://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/books/detail?sku=9781449488055.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION