A friend I met 25 years ago suggested a life hack with such compelling evidence that I have followed it faithfully ever since. He told me about an Ivy League study on goal-setting, in which only 3 percent of a graduating class wrote down specific goals and a plan for how to achieve them. Years later, the story goes, those 3 percent were earning 10 times more than the rest of their peers.

This widely shared anecdote was later debunked by a Fast Company article. But I had already became a goal-setting devotee. Even without the backing of an Ivy League study, it makes sense that people who write down their goals would be more successful at attaining them. It’s a reminder of how to prioritize your time, if nothing else. As a parent, I ask my children to set personal goals at the start of the new year, academic goals at the start of the school year and spiritual goals at the start of Ramadan.

They don’t always write them down, but at least it starts a habit of being purposeful and intentional about what they want to accomplish.

I started to notice a disturbing pattern in my own list, however. A few of the things I wanted to do kept recurring year after year. And yet, I still haven’t finished writing my book, lost 10 pounds, learned a new language, completed a triathalon or mastered a musical instrument.

Perhaps I have been writing my goals all wrong.

There’s an entire industry around how to be more productive and accomplish what you set out to do. According to these experts, what I should have been doing all these years is writing smaller milestones toward larger goals, with measurable benchmarks and time limits. So, instead of saying I want to write a book, I should make a goal to write a certain number of words each day or week.

This creates a way to measure progress and hold yourself accountable. Each benchmark also needs a subset of concrete steps to use as a roadmap to get where you want to go. It helps to find a person to commit to a project alongside you. Reporting progress to one another increases both your chances of success. It’s also useful to remind yourself of why you want to make a change or complete an endeavor in the first place.

But just like simply wearing a FitBit won’t make you walk more or get more sleep, writing something down isn’t going to magically bring it to fruition.

Of course, it takes consistent and relentless work.

I thought about what has prevented me from completing some of what I set out do each year. Time is an easy scapegoat. Parents of young children and teens don’t get blocks of uninterrupted time to work on side projects outside our professional and personal obligations. But another culprit may be focus. It’s very easy to become distracted and lose the precious extra time we can carve out for ourselves.

It’s also important to accept that ambitions can change over time. If, by the end of a month or year, you haven’t made any progress toward what you thought you wanted, maybe you didn’t want it that badly, after all.

My son takes another approach to goal-setting. When I asked him if he had accomplished his goals, he listed the highlights of what he achieved this year. He couldn’t remember his specific goals, but he was happy about how the year turned out.

That may be better than a fake study.

Mike Weiland has seen how teens have become more susceptible to addiction in recent years.

The current opioid epidemic is a well-known national emergency. Other societal changes, such as relaxing public attitudes and easier access to certain types of drugs, have also increased risks for young people. Meanwhile, our understanding of brain science better explains how addiction affects adolescents differently.

Weiland is a substance abuse counselor and owner of the Crossroads Program in St. Louis, Kansas City and Columbia, Missouri. He has worked in recovery programs for more than 25 years and focuses on people between the ages of 13 to 25, when the brain is still developing.

He says many teens fail to recognize that marijuana is one of the most psychologically damaging drugs they can do at this age.

“THC actually stunts them emotionally,” he said, referring to the active substance in marijuana. It affects memory and discernment. He has treated many young people who start out smoking weed and end up on opiates.

He says teenagers haven’t changed much since he was one himself. They are still rebellious and push the envelope when they can. But in the past 10 to 15 years, attitudes about smoking marijuana and teen drinking have loosened. It appears to be more socially acceptable in certain circles, which increases the chances a child will use a chemical substance, he said.

“It’s also more accessible and convenient for these guys,” he added. People may not realize how much easier it is for a young person to become addicted. “The teenage brain can get addicted to substances in six months, versus a few years in adults,” he said. They have brain physiology that primes them to become addicts.

When he works with teenagers, he explains that getting clean is about more than getting off drugs. It’s about changing their entire lifestyle. His program has to create fun sober environments to keep teenagers in recovery. In addition to support-group meetings specifically for teens, young adults and parents, it hosts two social events each weekend. On New Year’s Eve, it hosts a lock-in for members and their families that consists of meetings, a dance, life stories and a balloon drop.

“The reason most teenagers get high is because they like it,” he said. “If they don’t find something they like more, they don’t stay sober.”

Everyone knows someone who has been affected by addiction. But Weiland has been in the trenches with those struggling with addiction for decades, and some of what he has to say would surprise teens and their parents.

He sees certain personality types more often end up with addictions than others. This includes those who have low self-esteem or self-worth. People who are very intense, “drama queens,” overly sensitive, very self-centered, and often with above-average intelligence also are at greater risk, he said.

Unfortunately, that sounds like most teenagers at some point. He tells parents to watch out for certain warning signs: If money is missing or your child is hanging out with friends who are getting high, your kid is also probably getting high.

Many parents deny their child has a problem if they are recreationally drinking but maintaining good grades and remaining involved in extracurricular activities.

“I think any kid using substances is in danger,” Weiland said. “Don’t deny your instinct.”

Research suggests that 85 percent of addiction starts with legally prescribed drugs. Many young people get painkillers from their parents’ or other people’s medicine cabinets. He also advises parents to lead by example.

“If you tell your kids to stay off drugs, but you are smoking weed, your kids know,” he said. The same goes for parents who have several drinks a night. If you find your child is using substances, he recommends getting all drugs and alcohol out of your house, at least temporarily.

An important part of the Crossroads recovery program is teaching young people to have ownership over their decisions. They want to show them it’s possible to have an awesome life and be cool while being sober.

Teens have access to a lot of information on the internet, but they don’t necessarily know how to make sense of it or discern what is true from it. They may not understand their personal risk, although drug overdoses are now the leading cause of death among Americans under 50.

Overdoses cause more deaths than gun violence and car crashes.

“Chemicals, they take you down,” he says, in the voice of someone with first-hand experience. “They make your life unmanageable.”

If you think your child has a problem, check out the free, downloadable resources at drugfree.org/resources.

I started hearing more cancer announcements than birth announcements this year.

There have been a succession of people -- co-workers, dear friends, high school and college mates -- who have shared their life-changing diagnoses recently. It makes sense as part of getting older, but I hadn’t expected it.

I couldn’t talk when my younger sister told me her husband had been diagnosed with lymphoma. I cried on my way to work that morning, but made sure my voice was encouraging when I spoke to her later.

Like most people, upon getting word of someone’s illness, I’ll send a card or drop off a meal, ask for updates and be as positive as possible. And, of course, I’ll pray.

This is what we do in America when someone gets really sick or hurt: pray for their healing and for good health insurance coverage. Because unlike every other developed, wealthy country in the world, it’s a gamble when someone in your family needs medical treatment here. Are you lucky enough to have adequate insurance? Or will trying to save your loved one’s life bankrupt your family?

Our complicated, inefficient and morally suspect system of health care is well-known. The United States spends more per capita on health care than any other country in the world. And yet, 30 countries have longer life expectancies than ours. We are the only country in the world that has the means to cover every resident, but that has decided every person doesn’t deserve health care. We have the highest rate of people dying from preventable diseases among similar countries. In 2013, more people died in the United States from preventable diseases or complications than those in 12 other high-income countries, according to data from the European Observatory on Health Systems and Policies.

When you get a little older, you don’t just hear statistics in health care debates. You see the faces of people you love who are living with chronic diseases and those who are fighting to get healthy.

Politicians have been trying to fix our system for years. But the underlying value shouldn’t be a partisan issue at all. We should start from the basic assumption that every American is worthy of care, and that it shouldn’t bankrupt them. What could be more pro-life than making sure people can afford medical treatment when they are sick? What could be a greater commitment to family values than making sure parents can take a sick baby to a doctor? Who would tell a gravely ill member of their family that they didn’t deserve medicine or care?

No one would.

A civilized society takes care of its sick. Partly because every adult knows it could be them next time. It could be your child, your parent.

This past year, we watched disabled activists protest in wheelchairs to save health care coverage. We saw a late-night comedian cry while telling us about the medical procedures that saved his newborn’s life, begging Congress to ensure all babies get the same fighting chance. Millions of Americans called their representatives relentlessly, groveling for their lives, asking that basic protections like not getting dropped for a “pre-existing condition” stayed part of the law.

President Donald Trump signed an executive order in October that will impact millions with pre-existing conditions. Soon after, 18 patient organizations, including the Arthritis Foundation and the American Heart Association, issued a joint statement.

“This order has the potential to price millions of people with pre-existing conditions and serious illnesses out of the individual insurance market and put millions more at risk through the sale of insurance plans that won’t cover all the services patients want to stay healthy, or the critical care they need when they get sick,” read the statement.

And now, the Senate is considering a tax bill that also has major implications for health care coverage impacting millions of us. The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office expects everyone’s insurance to cost 10 percent more if the Senate GOP is successful. The House already passed a version of the tax bill in which Americans who have serious chronic conditions or pay for nursing home care or high-cost medications can no longer deduct medical expenses.

Meanwhile, we read about people like Alec Raeshawn Smith, a 26-year-old who started to ration his insulin after he aged out of his parents’ health insurance. He died in June. And like Shane Patrick Boyle, who started a GoFundMe campaign in February to raise money for “a month of insulin.” A few weeks later, he died after developing diabetic ketoacidosis.

Boyle’s family shared this post on a GoFundMe appeal to raise money for his memorial service:

“My cousin, Shane Boyle, put everything into taking care of his ailing mother at the expense of his own needs. Shane’s mother, Judy Boyle, passed away on March 11th and we lost Shane to diabetes exactly a week later on March 18th. After his death, we learned that Shane lost his prescription benefits when he moved to Mena, Arkansas to care for his mom. We found a GoFundMe where he was trying to raise $750 to get just one more month of insulin and supplies.

“Unfortunately, he didn’t get help in time. Shane died because he was trying to stretch out his life-saving insulin to make it last longer.”

In America, we have people begging for insulin.

And we pray.