parenting

Could Your Child Become an Addict?

Parents Talk Back by by Aisha Sultan
by Aisha Sultan
Parents Talk Back | December 11th, 2017

Mike Weiland has seen how teens have become more susceptible to addiction in recent years.

The current opioid epidemic is a well-known national emergency. Other societal changes, such as relaxing public attitudes and easier access to certain types of drugs, have also increased risks for young people. Meanwhile, our understanding of brain science better explains how addiction affects adolescents differently.

Weiland is a substance abuse counselor and owner of the Crossroads Program in St. Louis, Kansas City and Columbia, Missouri. He has worked in recovery programs for more than 25 years and focuses on people between the ages of 13 to 25, when the brain is still developing.

He says many teens fail to recognize that marijuana is one of the most psychologically damaging drugs they can do at this age.

“THC actually stunts them emotionally,” he said, referring to the active substance in marijuana. It affects memory and discernment. He has treated many young people who start out smoking weed and end up on opiates.

He says teenagers haven’t changed much since he was one himself. They are still rebellious and push the envelope when they can. But in the past 10 to 15 years, attitudes about smoking marijuana and teen drinking have loosened. It appears to be more socially acceptable in certain circles, which increases the chances a child will use a chemical substance, he said.

“It’s also more accessible and convenient for these guys,” he added. People may not realize how much easier it is for a young person to become addicted. “The teenage brain can get addicted to substances in six months, versus a few years in adults,” he said. They have brain physiology that primes them to become addicts.

When he works with teenagers, he explains that getting clean is about more than getting off drugs. It’s about changing their entire lifestyle. His program has to create fun sober environments to keep teenagers in recovery. In addition to support-group meetings specifically for teens, young adults and parents, it hosts two social events each weekend. On New Year’s Eve, it hosts a lock-in for members and their families that consists of meetings, a dance, life stories and a balloon drop.

“The reason most teenagers get high is because they like it,” he said. “If they don’t find something they like more, they don’t stay sober.”

Everyone knows someone who has been affected by addiction. But Weiland has been in the trenches with those struggling with addiction for decades, and some of what he has to say would surprise teens and their parents.

He sees certain personality types more often end up with addictions than others. This includes those who have low self-esteem or self-worth. People who are very intense, “drama queens,” overly sensitive, very self-centered, and often with above-average intelligence also are at greater risk, he said.

Unfortunately, that sounds like most teenagers at some point. He tells parents to watch out for certain warning signs: If money is missing or your child is hanging out with friends who are getting high, your kid is also probably getting high.

Many parents deny their child has a problem if they are recreationally drinking but maintaining good grades and remaining involved in extracurricular activities.

“I think any kid using substances is in danger,” Weiland said. “Don’t deny your instinct.”

Research suggests that 85 percent of addiction starts with legally prescribed drugs. Many young people get painkillers from their parents’ or other people’s medicine cabinets. He also advises parents to lead by example.

“If you tell your kids to stay off drugs, but you are smoking weed, your kids know,” he said. The same goes for parents who have several drinks a night. If you find your child is using substances, he recommends getting all drugs and alcohol out of your house, at least temporarily.

An important part of the Crossroads recovery program is teaching young people to have ownership over their decisions. They want to show them it’s possible to have an awesome life and be cool while being sober.

Teens have access to a lot of information on the internet, but they don’t necessarily know how to make sense of it or discern what is true from it. They may not understand their personal risk, although drug overdoses are now the leading cause of death among Americans under 50.

Overdoses cause more deaths than gun violence and car crashes.

“Chemicals, they take you down,” he says, in the voice of someone with first-hand experience. “They make your life unmanageable.”

If you think your child has a problem, check out the free, downloadable resources at drugfree.org/resources.

Health & SafetyTeensFamily & ParentingAddiction
parenting

If Your Child Gets Sick, It Shouldn’t Bankrupt You

Parents Talk Back by by Aisha Sultan
by Aisha Sultan
Parents Talk Back | December 4th, 2017

I started hearing more cancer announcements than birth announcements this year.

There have been a succession of people -- co-workers, dear friends, high school and college mates -- who have shared their life-changing diagnoses recently. It makes sense as part of getting older, but I hadn’t expected it.

I couldn’t talk when my younger sister told me her husband had been diagnosed with lymphoma. I cried on my way to work that morning, but made sure my voice was encouraging when I spoke to her later.

Like most people, upon getting word of someone’s illness, I’ll send a card or drop off a meal, ask for updates and be as positive as possible. And, of course, I’ll pray.

This is what we do in America when someone gets really sick or hurt: pray for their healing and for good health insurance coverage. Because unlike every other developed, wealthy country in the world, it’s a gamble when someone in your family needs medical treatment here. Are you lucky enough to have adequate insurance? Or will trying to save your loved one’s life bankrupt your family?

Our complicated, inefficient and morally suspect system of health care is well-known. The United States spends more per capita on health care than any other country in the world. And yet, 30 countries have longer life expectancies than ours. We are the only country in the world that has the means to cover every resident, but that has decided every person doesn’t deserve health care. We have the highest rate of people dying from preventable diseases among similar countries. In 2013, more people died in the United States from preventable diseases or complications than those in 12 other high-income countries, according to data from the European Observatory on Health Systems and Policies.

When you get a little older, you don’t just hear statistics in health care debates. You see the faces of people you love who are living with chronic diseases and those who are fighting to get healthy.

Politicians have been trying to fix our system for years. But the underlying value shouldn’t be a partisan issue at all. We should start from the basic assumption that every American is worthy of care, and that it shouldn’t bankrupt them. What could be more pro-life than making sure people can afford medical treatment when they are sick? What could be a greater commitment to family values than making sure parents can take a sick baby to a doctor? Who would tell a gravely ill member of their family that they didn’t deserve medicine or care?

No one would.

A civilized society takes care of its sick. Partly because every adult knows it could be them next time. It could be your child, your parent.

This past year, we watched disabled activists protest in wheelchairs to save health care coverage. We saw a late-night comedian cry while telling us about the medical procedures that saved his newborn’s life, begging Congress to ensure all babies get the same fighting chance. Millions of Americans called their representatives relentlessly, groveling for their lives, asking that basic protections like not getting dropped for a “pre-existing condition” stayed part of the law.

President Donald Trump signed an executive order in October that will impact millions with pre-existing conditions. Soon after, 18 patient organizations, including the Arthritis Foundation and the American Heart Association, issued a joint statement.

“This order has the potential to price millions of people with pre-existing conditions and serious illnesses out of the individual insurance market and put millions more at risk through the sale of insurance plans that won’t cover all the services patients want to stay healthy, or the critical care they need when they get sick,” read the statement.

And now, the Senate is considering a tax bill that also has major implications for health care coverage impacting millions of us. The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office expects everyone’s insurance to cost 10 percent more if the Senate GOP is successful. The House already passed a version of the tax bill in which Americans who have serious chronic conditions or pay for nursing home care or high-cost medications can no longer deduct medical expenses.

Meanwhile, we read about people like Alec Raeshawn Smith, a 26-year-old who started to ration his insulin after he aged out of his parents’ health insurance. He died in June. And like Shane Patrick Boyle, who started a GoFundMe campaign in February to raise money for “a month of insulin.” A few weeks later, he died after developing diabetic ketoacidosis.

Boyle’s family shared this post on a GoFundMe appeal to raise money for his memorial service:

“My cousin, Shane Boyle, put everything into taking care of his ailing mother at the expense of his own needs. Shane’s mother, Judy Boyle, passed away on March 11th and we lost Shane to diabetes exactly a week later on March 18th. After his death, we learned that Shane lost his prescription benefits when he moved to Mena, Arkansas to care for his mom. We found a GoFundMe where he was trying to raise $750 to get just one more month of insulin and supplies.

“Unfortunately, he didn’t get help in time. Shane died because he was trying to stretch out his life-saving insulin to make it last longer.”

In America, we have people begging for insulin.

And we pray.

parenting

Flunking a Six-Minute Test

Parents Talk Back by by Aisha Sultan
by Aisha Sultan
Parents Talk Back | November 27th, 2017

It’s so hard for some people to do nothing for six minutes, they would rather fail a school assignment, cheat on it or literally shock themselves.

Those are the startling results from a six-minute challenge issued by a professor for the past three years. Tim Bono, a psychology professor at Washington University in St. Louis, teaches a class on positive psychology to about 300 upperclassmen. The assignment was inspired by a study published in Science in 2014 about an experiment at the University of Virginia.

Bono gives his students these simple instructions:

Find a quiet space and entertain yourself with thoughts of something pleasant for six minutes. Put away any distractions such as your computer or phone, turn off the TV or radio, and sit in silence for six minutes (set an alarm), occupying yourself only with the thoughts in your head. You may think about anything you wish (going on a hike, having dinner at your favorite restaurant, being on vacation, etc.).

There are only two rules: Remain seated. Stay awake.

In the past three years that Bono has given this task, he found:

-- Only 67 percent were able to complete the assignment and follow both rules the entire time.

-- Among those who were able to do so, the majority (56 percent) reported that it was at least somewhat difficult to concentrate.

-- Among the one-third who couldn’t do it, the most common distraction was their phones. More than 30 percent of this group had to check their phones at least once. In a six-minute period.

-- Some described the activity as “particularly tough,” “a real hassle,” and “extremely hard.”

Remember, the assignment is to sit and literally do nothing. And these are among the top students in the country.

One student even admitted how such a short span of time feels completely different in another context.

“At first I kept wanting to check my phone, and a few times I thought, ‘This is pointless, I’m wasting my time,’” the student wrote. “I kept thinking how hard it was to sit and just think for six minutes. Then I realized that anytime I get worried about the future or stressed about an upcoming event, I often spend much more than six minutes singularly focused on worrying about that event.”

In the original experiment, lead researcher Tim Wilson found that some subjects would even resort to administering electric shocks on themselves to simply be doing something.

Participants were wired and given the opportunity to shock themselves during the thinking period. All of them had already had a chance to try out the device. Among those who said they would pay money not to feel the shock again, a quarter of the women and two-thirds of the men gave themselves a shock during the short thinking period.

Also among the test subjects, 32 percent admitted to cheating by using their phones, listening to music, or doing anything but just sitting there.

Imagine how quickly six minutes disappears when scrolling through social media or watching a mindless television show. Why would some of us literally choose pain over a few minutes of being alone with our thoughts? Wilson suggested that mammals evolved to monitor their environments for dangers and opportunities, which makes focusing just internally for several minutes unnatural and difficult.

We are wired for distraction, it seems.

Bono says the assignment helps his students understand this automatic, natural tendency of our minds to disengage with tasks requiring focused attention and seek stimulation elsewhere. It makes sense why we feel the urge to check our email, Facebook or text messages when we start working on a project or studying for an exam. The ability to override this impulse and focus is a valuable skill, and research suggests it can be developed over time with practice.

“By strengthening our attentional muscles, it allows us to identify when our mind is wandering and bring it back to the task at hand,” Bono said. The interruptions that feel good in the short-term are at odds with what is good for us in the long term, he explained.

Try the six-minute experiment yourself, and ask your children to attempt it.

The results may be shocking.

Mental HealthWork & School

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