parenting

Should Kids Design Their Own Rooms?

Parents Talk Back by by Aisha Sultan
by Aisha Sultan
Parents Talk Back | March 20th, 2017

When Isabella Blanchard designed her bedroom, she carefully considered the look she wanted to create before finalizing the drapery, bedding and paint colors.

She was 7.

“I let her pick out everything -- the wall color, the bedspread,” said her mom, Kris Blanchard of St. Louis. The finished project features purple walls, pink glittery curtains and a gauzy princess canopy hanging from the ceiling.

“I didn’t have so much say at that age,” Blanchard said. But like many other modern parents, Blanchard has embraced the idea that a child’s room is his or her space, and should express the kid’s individual style.

When today’s parents were kids, the design liberties they were allowed were often limited to picking the posters they wanted to hang on their bedroom walls. And even those had to meet certain criteria of tastefulness, in some homes. But this generation is growing up curating and exploring their aesthetic in a digital world saturated with images.

The most popular social media sites for young people -- Instagram, Tumblr, Snapchat -- trade in visuals. Tweens can create Pinterest boards that hone what appeals to them visually. Businesses way beyond Pottery Barn Kids have recognized this market. There are designers who cater to guiding younger clients, empowered by their parents’ pocketbooks.

Walmart offers a $15 “Design Your Dream Room” kit that allows kids to “decorate the room of your dreams” with an interior design portfolio. Different activity sections let the child experiment with patterns, colors and layout.

There’s even a new party-concept store in a St. Louis-area mall, called My Room Rocks, that gives customers a box to decorate as a room -- sort of a design diorama.

Isabella, now 8, recently celebrated her birthday there with a group of girls, creating elaborate models of rooms complete with miniature furniture, wallpaper, valances and bedding. She decided to go with a modern black and white theme in this room, including a “Star Wars” bedspread and accents of purple, her favorite color.

Mary Sittler, creator and owner of the store, says she remembered how her own now-grown daughters would customize and build rooms for their dolls. She sees the store as another form of creative expression for children. There is an entire wall with more than 50 different fabric options for bedding, pillows and window treatments to customize each cardboard box “room.” The store hosts lots of birthday parties, but boys and girls also drop in to create individual projects.

Not everyone is sold on the idea that young children should have complete artistic control over their bedrooms before they’ve mastered making their beds. The Wall Street Journal ran a pro and con piece on the question of whether parents should allow kids to design their own rooms.

Proponents argue that it gives children a sense of ownership and imparts a sense of security. It’s best if parents provide a few pre-approved choices from which a child can choose. On the other side, designers cautioned parents that children can be “capricious, which can lead to overspending and truly bad decor.”

In the case of the Blanchards, everyone was pleased with the final product. Isabella’s mother ordered the furniture, while Isabella chose the colors and accessories. Isabella originally wanted a princess-themed room, but her mother wanted something that could last longer than a passing interest in fairy-tale royalty. And if she does tire of the purple walls, luckily paint is a fairly inexpensive change for do-it-yourselfers.

Now, Isabella has her eye on an unfinished attic in the house she would like to convert into a craft or play room one day.

“I’ve been thinking about stuff,” she said. “Pink and purple and a big glass chandelier.”

Before she takes on her next design project, however, she needs to graduate second grade.

Family & ParentingSelf-Worth
parenting

Students Turn the Tables on a Journalist

Parents Talk Back by by Aisha Sultan
by Aisha Sultan
Parents Talk Back | March 13th, 2017

Nothing could ever drag me back into a middle-school classroom. Or so I thought, until my daughter’s English teacher made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

She asked if I would talk to her classes before they started a unit on investigative journalism. Given that the finest reporters in the country have been pilloried by the holder of the highest office in the land, I figured I could brave a day in the hormonal jungle that is middle school.

Today’s children may seem media-savvy, but less than half say they can tell real news from fake news, according to a new study released by Common Sense Media, a nonprofit that advocates for safe technology and media for kids. The report found that a third of tweens and teens who shared a story online in the last six months later discovered the story was wrong or inaccurate.

I figured it was part of my civic duty to explain how a free press works to a generation that prefers to get its news from YouTube and social media.

I came up with a lesson plan that I shared with the teacher beforehand. First, we would discuss the First Amendment. Then we would talk about the different types of stories in the media, the various sources of news and what investigative journalism aims to do. I would tell them about investigations that have impacted communities, and ones that have changed the entire country. We would look at Pulitzer-winning investigative reports, and historic ones.

I would also share investigative projects my newspaper has tackled and how we did them. We would explore the ways in which reporters can gather facts, and the tension between those who search for information and those who don’t want it made public.

I asked the teachers to have students brainstorm their own ideas that they would like to report and write about, so we could discuss how they could be investigated. I made sure my lesson had some multimedia elements, and invited the principal to stop by and observe.

I’ll admit that I also armed myself with a significant amount of candy, and told each class that any student who answered or asked a question would get a piece. (A cheap trick, and I apologize to the teachers who had to deal with the students afterward.)

I taught this lesson six times to groups of 40 students in each section. By the end of the day, I was exhausted, my throat was sore, and I had given out nearly an entire 20-pound bag of candy. I was impressed by the students’ interest, and it only deepened my admiration for teachers.

A few days later, I received a large mailer stuffed with more than a hundred notes -- thank-you notes from the students, written on index cards and construction paper. The notes included what the child learned from the talk. Many students wrote that they hadn’t realized that investigative journalism could be dangerous, and that reporters often receive hate mail and pushback for what they write. Other comments:

“Now I know what a reporter is.” “I learned a lot of new things about how to gather information on public files.” “I’m taking journalism in high school, and I wasn’t that excited about it, but now I am! Can’t wait for that class.” “Who knows -- you may have possibly inspired a future journalist.” (Yikes. That comment was from my daughter, and I read it like a warning.)

“It’s sad that print is dead,” shared one student. Another drew a big heart with an arrow through it, adding a disclaimer at the bottom: “This is not a Valentine. I admire how you don’t let the hate get to you.”

Others shared their favorite parts of the discussion:

“It gave me new insight on the steps reporters take to write a story and how they’re viewed by the public. My favorite part was when you explained the impact of journalism on real world issues.”

“My favorite thing you said was that reporters helped bring bad things to light.”

“My favorite thing you said was you’ve been a journalist for 20 years, and that’s a record to me, because most people quit because people say mean things.”

“My favorite thing you said was that investigative journalists don’t do it for the money, they do it for the truth.”

More than a handful of kids kept it real, writing: “My favorite thing you said was ‘Whoever answers a question gets candy.’”

A lesson in truth-telling for all of us.

Work & School
parenting

Heroes Like Ian Grillot Lead By Example

Parents Talk Back by by Aisha Sultan
by Aisha Sultan
Parents Talk Back | March 6th, 2017

A Kansas man is being hailed as a hero across India, but many Americans haven’t heard as much about him -- certainly not from our country’s leaders.

I’ve made it a point to tell my children about Ian Grillot.

Grillot, who is 24 years old, had planned to watch a University of Kansas basketball game last week with friends in an Olathe, Kansas bar when he heard a gunman start shooting. He dove under a table and waited until he thought 51-year-old Adam Purinton had emptied his magazine. Then he chased Purinton down and tried to stop him.

Purinton opened fire on him.

Grillot was shot through the hand and in the chest. The gunman had also shot two Indian men, killing Srinivas Kuchibhotla and injuring Alok Madasani, both engineers working for Garmin. Purinton reportedly told the two men, who he thought were Iranian, to “get out of my country” before opening fire.

The FBI is investigating the shooting as a possible hate crime.

India’s External Affairs Minister Sushma Swaraj tweeted on Monday, “India salutes the heroism of Ian Grillot!” Meanwhile, White House press secretary Sean Spicer has said it is “absurd” to link the shooting to Trump’s rhetoric on immigration, which includes a travel ban on seven countries, including Iran.

That rhetoric might have been a factor, or it might not -- until further information comes out, it’s impossible to say, although the shooter’s reported use of racial slurs demonstrates an animosity toward nonwhites. Either way, a government’s statements matter, and its actions matter even more. It’s our government’s responsibility to protect all its citizens.

In less than two weeks, two Jewish cemeteries have been vandalized, two Indian men shot and a mosque burned in Florida.

After weeks of criticism of being slow to comment on the rising number of anti-Semitic threats, President Donald Trump said in his address to Congress, “Recent threats targeting Jewish Community Centers and vandalism of Jewish cemeteries, as well as last week’s shooting in Kansas City, remind us that while we may be a nation divided on policies, we are a country that stands united in condemning hate and evil in all of its very ugly forms.”

When our leaders speak out against a rising tide of bigotry, our children hear those messages on their social media feeds and it reaffirms our collective values. It helps heal the wounds of a community to hear its fears and pain acknowledged. It’s also a chance to highlight the best among us. There are extraordinary heroes like Ian Grillot, along with communities of all faiths coming out to repair Jewish cemeteries and ordinary citizens scrubbing away swastikas drawn on public places.

The evil ideologies of the KKK and neo-Nazis and those influenced by them will not go unchallenged. Muslims have raised money to repair Jewish cemeteries, and Jews have donated to rebuild the burned mosque. Given how frequently Trump has tweeted on topics that have moved him, such as “Saturday Night Live” and Nordstrom, it would be great to see him similarly moved by Americans taking care of one another.

Telling these stories sends a message to those who want to divide us: You can’t. In fact, we’ve united even stronger.

We need heroes like Ian Grillot. We need smaller acts of bravery, like standing up for a classmate or co-worker, just as much. I don’t know if I would ever have the courage to take a bullet for a stranger being attacked. But it doesn’t take much effort for me to share a story with my children or friends, click a button to donate to a cause or reach out to those who may be personally affected by a possible hate crime.

When I heard about the gravestones desecrated in a St. Louis-area Jewish cemetery, I wanted my children to know that we would donate to help repair them. We gave through LaunchGood, the same Muslim organization that had also raised funds for African-American churches targeted by arsonists in the South.

Our actions speak loudest, which is why our elected officials should be targeting all domestic threats, including violent white supremacists.

When someone attacks our principles of equality and freedom for all, they’ve attacked every single one of us. If we truly care about American values, we don’t just speak up when when our ethnic group, our religion or our friends get attacked.

If your sympathy or outrage is reserved only for crimes targeting your own community, that doesn’t make you a patriot.

That makes you a hypocrite.

Etiquette & EthicsDeathReligion

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