When Paul booked the family's beach house for the summer, the first question from his teens was: Does it have Wi-Fi?

If it didn't, they weren't interested in going.

The family was safe to vacation there, he informed them. It offered their life-blood connection to the Internet. Paul, who wanted to avoid publicly calling out his children, is hardly alone in this struggle.

But it's not just digital natives who are scared of missing out, anxious about being disconnected, unaccustomed to boredom and glued to their devices. It's the ones paying for the vacation, as well.

Amy Bartlett, a spokeswoman for Yellowstone National Park, says about 15 to 20 percent of the park has cellphone coverage.

"Some folks come and they are grateful for that -- having all members of the family, including teenagers, disconnected," she said. "And there are people who want to be tapped in 24/7 and have the ability to check whatever they want to check, whenever they want."

She has had to explain: "We're a national park. There is wild land. You're not going to have cell coverage everywhere.

"That's just the nature of being in the wilderness," she said.

In the spots where cellphone coverage is available, there are so many people trying to access it at once in the summer (during vacations, presumably) that many people can't connect, she said.

Steve and Debbie Millett, of St. Louis, didn't intend on a tech-free vacation with their two children last month, but when they were in Yosemite, Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks, they were all forced to unplug completely for a couple days.

"It was quite eye-opening for me, actually, to realize how much I missed it," Debbie said. "I saw one guy on our bus on his phone one day at Sequoia and I was like, 'HOW ARE YOU ON THE PHONE!?'" (It turned out that he had Verizon as his cell provider; she has AT&T. She was very jealous.)

"Many of the adults were constantly checking phones for signals," she said.

In fairness, we rely on our phones to get directions, find hotels or restaurants, check the weather, monitor flights, and take and share photos. This technology helps vacations function more smoothly.

The notion of going cold turkey on tech didn't appeal to a St. Louis mother of three daughters.

"Even on planes and in cars?" she asked. "Hell, no."

She liked the idea of trying to be tech-free once they arrived at a destination, but worried about whether she would be able to stick to it herself.

It's not a vacation if you're all miserable.

There are ways to limit the negative effects of tech dependence without going to extremes. Common Sense Media suggests an "inside/outside" rule: Tech is allowed in the house or at night, but the daytime is reserved for exploring and talking to one another.

Set aside sacred times, like meals, to be tech-free. When you do have screen time, make it a family thing: Have a family video game or movie night, so everyone is sharing the experience. For those who love to take pictures, create a daily family photo contest.

Put the child whose ears are constantly plugged with earbuds in charge of making a family playlist to enjoy during car rides.

It's easy to turn off the data plan on devices, so family members can still take pictures and make calls, but cannot use data except over Wi-Fi.

Taking these steps can limit technology-induced isolation during what should be special family time.

The greatest temptation for a child with a phone is to retreat and isolate oneself physically, emotionally and mentally. Parents can't compete with a phone's promise of constant interaction with friends back home -- especially since, at a certain age, our children barely tolerate our presence.

We can remember how we handled downtime on family vacations before we could carry all our entertainment in our pockets: We played cards or board games. Read books. Talked to one another. Made up silly games.

It might sound quaint to imagine being able to recreate that today, especially with teens. But, if expectations are communicated early on, incentives offered and buy-in established before the trip, it's not outside the realm of possibility.

The days with limited technology access made the Milletts' trip richer, Steve said. "(The kids) had to think how to manage time when there was no instant stimulus or activity," he said.

Family vacations are an investment -- of our time, money and effort. They are planned with the hopes of enjoying time with the people we love and creating fond memories.

Consider unplugging as part of the cost.

The worst terrorist attack on American soil made many American Muslims ask what could be done to root out virulent ideology and potentially dangerous people within our own communities.

It spawned a generation of greater political and social engagement by American Muslims, along with influencing the priorities in mosques.

It's time for white Americans to take the same approach to racism and extremism in their own communities.

"Since Sept. 11, 2001, nearly twice as many people have been killed by white supremacists, antigovernment fanatics and other non-Muslim extremists than by radical Muslims," according to the latest count by New America, a Washington research center. Their tally found 48 have been killed by extremists who are not Muslim, compared with 26 by self-proclaimed jihadists.

Non-Muslim extremists have carried out 19 such attacks since 9/11, compared to seven lethal attacks by Islamic militants in the same period, the report found.

Authorities say Dylann Storm Roof killed nine African-Americans in a Charleston, South Carolina church last week after joining them in a Bible study. He is a 21-year-old white supremacist, a stark counter to the image of the "post-racial" millennials.

That image itself is misleading. White millennials, those born after 1980, are about as racist as their parents, according to a Washington Post analysis of five measures of racial prejudice from the General Social Survey.

About a third of millennials rated blacks as lazier and less hardworking than whites -- percentages similar to Gen X and baby boomers. Nearly a quarter rated blacks as less intelligent than whites, a bit higher than Gen X and in line with boomers. More than a third said blacks were less well-off because of less motivation -- again in the same ballpark as Gen X and boomers. Millennials were, however, less opposed to interracial marriage than previous generations.

Roof wrote in an apparent manifesto that he didn't grow up in a racist home.

So, where did his attachment to this racist ideology come from? He claims he was changed by revelations he discovered by the Council of Conservative Citizens online.

This sounds eerily familiar to the disaffected Muslim youths who reportedly became radicalized through information and groups they encountered online. The easy access to such communities gives safe haven to extremist thought. Of course, it's an oversimplification to say that Internet encounters lead to radicalization. But it's part of the toxic stew.

This generation distinguishes between their interpersonal relationships -- even Roof reportedly had black friends -- and their own racial prejudices.

When self-described Islamic terrorists attacked our country, the rest of the country said: Muslim moderates need to speak up! Many Muslim Americans embraced this idea. More authors, bloggers, journalists and activists realized they needed to tell their own stories, be louder advocates for justice and peace, and be more vigilant about what kind of information their children were receiving about religious beliefs.

The majority of white parents are raising children with values of equality and tolerance; they need to adopt this same approach, and speak up about these values.

American Muslims took a more proactive role in condemning violence, encouraging pluralism, fostering friendships with people of different faiths and working with authorities.

The two-thirds of white Americans who are willing to accept that racism is still a destructive force in our country, with blacks afforded fewer economic opportunities, more segregated housing choices, poorer schools and a harsher criminal justice system, need to speak up to the one-third whose views foster racist institutions and practices.

It takes courage to call racism what it is, especially when one in three white Americans may disagree. Roof's roommate reportedly heard him spout his racist views, his desire to start a civil war, his plans to commit some kind of attack.

While relatively few individuals follow the deranged homicidal path of extremists, the work of fighting racist or extremist thoughts within our communities is an ongoing struggle.

It's about more than preventing one's child from adopting racist views. It's about teaching them to have the courage to stand up to such views when they encounter them.

When a 19-year-old college student declared that girls are crazy about the "dad bod," it ignited an Internet fury, pitting fat against fit.

In Mackenzie Pearson's viral post about why the "balance between beer gut and working out" is more desirable, she writes, "We know what we are getting into when he's got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he's going to have at 45."

Oh, dear.

Pearson hasn't learned about metabolism yet. Or about what the aging process does to a 22-year-old's ability to indulge in $4 pitchers and binge on pizza. Hint: It doesn't work the same at 45.

Yet, finally, the Midwest is ahead on a body trend. The land of beer and brats embraced the soft-around-the-center "dad bod" long before the rest of America discovered it.

Forensic psychiatrist Omar Quadri of St. Louis, 51, worked hard to achieve his dad bod. He lost about 35 pounds over two years.

"It seemed initially counterintuitive that someone would be attracted to a plumper male form, but the psychological underpinnings make sense to me," he said. The body type signals a stable provider, he said. "Most women can provide for themselves, but they don't want to be supporting a loser, either."

He said women are more likely to value kindness and financial stability than ripped abs in a long-term relationship.

Of course, you never know what's underneath the packaging.

Jeremy Nulik, 36, is a father of two children, has a self-declared dad bod and runs ultramarathons.

"I think I've had a dad bod since I was 13," he said. "I'm a running dork who likes to eat nachos."

From outward appearances, Nulik, who wears a size large T-shirt, looks like an average American male. He said the dad bod is probably more approachable for some women.

"But is it more desirable? I don't know. Probably not."

It may signal to women that a guy has pursuits other than spending all day in a gym, he said. Really, though, he could care less about how his physique measures up when he's able to run 70 miles in a week.

This healthy male body image likely comes from much more relaxed societal expectations for male appearances versus female. When was the last time someone extolled the virtues of a squishy mom bod?

"This is why this 'dad bod' is laughable to me," Nulik said. "(Men) didn't need to be let off the hook. Was there ever a hook for us?"

Mike Little, trainer and owner of Dynamic Personal Fitness in suburban St. Louis, says there's more to staying in shape than looking good in jeans and a T-shirt, and that abdominal fat is particularly unhealthy. It's about being healthy and active and how you feel about yourself, he said.

Plus, he's heard his wife remark that Chris Hemsworth looks pretty hot. He's never heard her comment on Ray Romano's body.

His wife, Heather, said she finds an athletic body more desirable (as you'd expect from someone married to a trainer). And points out that there is a lot more pressure on moms to look cute than dads.

"Out-of-shape women are not described as sexy," she said. And men aren't the ones who get pregnant and give birth; they skip the physical transformation parenthood instantly confers upon women.

Aesthetic preferences are idiosyncratic and complicated. One 20-year-old told me she would rather be with a slightly out-of-shape larger guy than a skinny one. Another said going for dad bods is about settling for someone less likely to cheat on you. Several of the points the college blogger made in support of the dad bod reinforced young women's own sense of self: They want to be the pretty ones in the couple, and a less-fit man is less intimidating.

These preferences may also change with time, as emerging self-confidence matures into adulthood.

Christy Senay, a 25-year-old personal trainer in St. Louis, says she has dated both a dad bod-type and a bodybuilder. She says neither is exactly her type.

"But if I had to pick, I'd choose the bodybuilder," she said.