Q: I'm very discouraged about what I see in our country. So many problems; so much animosity and negativity. But it's all so big -- what can one person do?

Jim: Let's use a simple analogy. Say you're in a public bathroom drying your hands when you see a used paper towel on the floor. Do you pick it up and throw it in the trash? I'm not exactly a "germophobe," but who knows where that thing has been or what it's touched?

For the most part, society isn't transformed by sweeping changes very often. Cultural change usually comes as a result of small things you and I do every day at the grassroots level. We see problems in our communities -- big and small. Do we ignore them because we don't want to touch them? What if it contaminates us? Let somebody else handle it.

How many times have we walked by and ignored what we see? The problem is, everybody else wants to ignore the problem, too. It's not long before one stray paper towel becomes a bathroom so filthy you don't want to use it.

A famous quote often attributed to Irish statesman Edmund Burke says: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Few of us have the power to change the world, but we can all do small, positive things every day that bring peace into chaos. We can all do something to make our corner of the world a better place to be. We can all replace the truly ugly with something beautiful. We can all offer something good to replace what's bad.

If we each just "pick up a paper towel," we'll start to clean things up. And it begins with a piece of 2,000-year-old wisdom: Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself.

Q: My husband and I disagree at times, just like all couples. We've been taught that as long as we each win our share of the arguments, we'll keep things in balance. Sometimes his way, sometimes hers. Do you agree?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Actually, I don't agree. Here's why: If you're playing a game, keeping score is the only way to determine a winner. But in a marriage, scorekeeping is destructive. When a relationship is defined by "winners" and "losers," it's only a matter of time before things fall apart.

Scorekeepers are easy to spot in a conflict. Their goal is to win. They don't compromise, respect their spouse's point of view or resolve issues in a way that benefits the relationship. Their secret to finding happiness is to make certain everything goes their way. To do that, scorekeepers measure the relationship. They keep a running tally of how well their spouse is doing in the marriage. And if the scorekeeper doesn't feel happy, they blame their spouse, criticize their every move and demand the spouse change to accommodate the scorekeeper's wishes.

But instead of a nurturing relationship that benefits both spouses, scorekeeping turns the marriage into a competition. It sets the couple against each other. Conflicts don't resolve issues; they declare a winner.

It's impossible for a marriage to thrive when it becomes a battleground where somebody wins and somebody loses.

At its heart, marriage is about compromise and mutual sacrificial love. Don't think you can build a thriving marriage by manipulating your spouse to get your way. You have to tear up the scorecard and focus on loving and serving one another. Think "team": Resolve issues in a way that benefits both of you. If you need help working this out, I invite you to call our staff counselors at 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I feel overlooked and unappreciated in my job. I'm surrounded by people with more talent, skill and/or education who get all the attention. It gets pretty discouraging. How can I keep my attitude up?

Jim: I'd say don't look down on yourself; your role may be more important than you think. Let me give you an illustration.

It's fascinating to watch an orchestra in action. You'll see a wide variety of musical instruments played by people who have worked hard to develop their skills. When master conductor Leonard Bernstein was asked once which is the hardest instrument to play, his answer was "second fiddle." He went on to say: "I can get plenty of first violinists. But to find someone who plays second violin with as much enthusiasm -- that's a problem. Yet if we have no second fiddle, we have no harmony."

Bernstein's point is that in this me-first, "personal brand" world filled with people posting promotional selfies, very few are interested in playing "second fiddle." That's even become a derogatory term for people who work hard behind the scenes but receive little credit.

Yet a supporting role is nothing to look down on. The richness and fullness of music comes from the harmonies provided by the entire orchestra. And anybody who truly understands how thriving organizations function will tell you that success can only be achieved when everyone involved makes results the goal instead of recognition.

Maybe you feel insignificant because people around you seem to be more in the forefront. But I encourage you to see yourself in a different light. You bring something to your circle of influence that no one else could -- your uniquely created blend of skills, personality and experience. And something important would be missing without you. I hope you'll find a fulfilling spot, at this job or perhaps a different one, where your value is clearly appreciated and communicated to you and everyone else.

Q: What do my kids really need from me? My wife says I don't pay enough attention to them, but I'm working as hard as I can to provide for my family.

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: One of the major responsibilities of being a father is to provide for their family. Kudos to you for that! But children need more than food and a roof over their heads. And some of the things they need are best provided not by a mom but a dad. So what else do kids need from you?

-- Relationship. Children yearn for a loving connection with their father. Research shows that a father's presence helps kids with social adjustment, improves graduation rates, and reduces a child's risk of mental health problems. Yet a lot of dads don't make time for relationship a priority. Time is crucial -- you can't pay attention and listen to someone else without dedicating time to them. So when you're with your children, put down your phone, make eye contact, and hear what's on their hearts.

-- Boundaries and limits. Kids need a dad who is willing to do the hard work of creating boundaries. These help them learn how to navigate emotions, pressures and temptations. Within the context of security and relationship, limits promote respect, trust, growth and self-esteem. Children will test the limits you lay down, but they need them. You'll be much more successful in implementing boundaries if you've taken time to develop a healthy relationship with your kids.

-- Mission, direction and vision. Children build their identity from a very young age. By validating their character, talents and skills, you can help your kids focus their lives and pursue meaning and purpose. That's life transforming for them -- and you.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Our teen son seems obsessed with how he looks. He doesn't just try to Photoshop his selfies; he's actually almost panicked about his physique. Is that normal?

Jim: Most of us know that body image is a serious issue for teen girls. But many parents don't realize that more and more teen boys are susceptible to body image struggles, too. Having raised two sons myself, I can tell you it's a big deal.

Studies are tracing this growing problem to a cultural shift in recent decades that has redefined the ideal male body image. Professional athletes are bigger and stronger than they've ever been. Hollywood once portrayed superheroes as average guys in spandex. Now they're played by bodybuilders -- or even entirely computer generated. Today's teen boys are also under the spell of social media (read: Photoshopped selfies) and a marketing machine fueling the multibillion-dollar fitness industry.

The problem isn't that teen boys are aspiring to a level of physical fitness that's currently beyond them. An improvement in diet and exercise can be a great decision. But, as with girls, problems can arise when boys commit too much of their time, resources and emotional well-being to chasing results that may be unattainable.

If your son wants to hit the weights, don't discourage him entirely. Just know that body image problems aren't limited to girls. Watch for signs of an extreme diet, radical weight loss or excessive fatigue from too much time in the gym.

Most of all, help your son set reasonable boundaries that will influence him to find a good balance between his health and his body image.

Q: I've been dating a man from a different country. We're considering getting married; are there any special challenges we might face trying to build a successful marriage as an intercultural couple?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Whenever a man and a woman pledge themselves to one another for life, it should be a cause for celebration. That said, it's important to acknowledge and understand how contrasting customs and cultural backgrounds may impact your marriage and family life. The way you're brought up is the way you'll live unless you make a conscious choice to embrace another option.

Nationalistic, ethnic or social pride can drive a wedge between otherwise loving spouses. One partner may feel superior because he or she grew up in a "higher" socio-economic class. A spouse may feel "owed something" for having legalized the other's citizenship through matrimony. Pride also raises its head when one spouse believes the other's culture or beliefs are inferior.

As in any marriage, communication can be one of the biggest difficulties -- including the challenge of speaking different languages. Linguistic differences you normally enjoy can become an issue when misunderstandings occur or when the "foreign" language is spoken at family gatherings. Communication also affects the way a couple solves problems. Attitudes toward gender roles can play havoc with the relationship unless husbands and wives can turn conflicts into opportunities for learning and growth.

Another potential challenge is isolation. Broken family ties and friendships can haunt couples for the rest of their lives. This aspect of the situation needs to be weighed very carefully.

Here are five practical steps to handle racial and cultural differences in your marriage:

Educate yourself and your family about the other culture.

Challenge false beliefs.

Discuss the positives and negatives of your two cultures, and choose together which parts will best fit in your relationship.

Adjust and adapt to one another's cultures through compromise and communication.

Be patient and love unconditionally.

If you need help putting these concepts into practice, don't hesitate to give our counselors a call at 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.