Q: Our 4-year-old son has started acting out in ways that perplex us. He's taken to shouting when he gets angry and has said some words that seem beyond his usual vocabulary -- not swearing, but just different. We're not sure where he's getting this. What can we do?

Jim: Well, the first place to look might be close at hand. Let me share an illustration. My friend Michael Hyatt remembers noticing as a child that his dad walked with a significant limp. So at four years old, Michael decided he should shuffle along that way, too. That lasted until his mother said one day, "Michael, you don't need to walk with a limp. Dad walks that way because he was hurt in the war."

Hyatt calls that innocent copycatting the "law of replication." Broadly speaking, it means that children will often copy the behavior of those they look up to. This idea has direct application for parents. It's not a question of if our kids are picking up behaviors from us (or someone else) -- it's what they're picking up.

And that's where things can get challenging for moms and dads. For example, if your child yells when he's angry, ask yourself, "Is this behavior something he's learned from me? And if not me, who?" Children ought to be held accountable for their own actions, of course. But it's wise to remember how easily a child can be influenced -- and by which role models.

The good news is you can use the "law of replication" to your advantage by modeling the positive behavior and attitudes you want to see in your kids. It's a great way to pass your values to your kids -- and, if necessary, do a "reset" -- because beliefs are often caught rather than taught.

Q: My husband has hurt my feelings many times. I don't think it's necessarily intentional -- it's more just neglect and preoccupation with his own priorities. I keep hearing that I need to forgive him. I just don't know if I can!

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Forgiveness is a personal choice. It's also one of the most challenging things each of us must do regularly in marriage. There may be only minor damage from occasional disappointments, or we may have deep emotional scars from years of back-and-forth mistreatment. Over time our hearts can become so hardened that forgiveness can seem impossible.

Even if we truly want to forgive our spouse for unresolved offenses, we may stubbornly insist that they should make the first move toward reconciliation. They often feel the same way, which leaves us in a deadlock.

The truth is that if we desire a more loving relationship, we must learn to keep short accounts and forgive on a regular basis. Reconciliation and healing won't take place overnight, but forgiving can be a turning point in any relationship.

Forgiveness communicates to our spouse that we value them, and it can soften our hardened hearts toward each other. It doesn't erase what has happened, stop the pain or magically heal the wounds. But it allows our relationship to move toward deeper levels of intimacy.

Forgiveness starts when we make the decision to forgive, regardless of whether our emotions necessarily line up with our decision. In other words, we can choose to forgive even when we don't feel like it.

Forgiveness is not only a choice, it's also a process. Our society tends to demand instant gratification; we want things immediately. But forgiveness doesn't work like that. Depending on the gravity and magnitude of the offense, it can take weeks, months or years -- even a lifetime. But regardless of how long it takes, forgiveness is always worth it.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: I became a single mom after an ugly divorce -- not what I wanted, but it happened, and there's no going back. After a few years, I'm ready to move forward. I've been dating a great guy who has custody of his own kids. What should we keep in mind as we prepare for a new marriage and combining our households?

Jim: Whether your previous relationships ended through divorce or the death of a spouse, entering into a new marriage comes with a special set of challenges when you or your spouse-to-be has kids. That's because blending two families can be tougher than you'd think.

For children -- even in the best of situations -- watching a parent enjoy a new relationship may not seem like "moving forward" at all. They may feel like they're being dragged into something they never asked for. So keep a couple of things in focus.

First, it's important to make the children a priority -- both yours and your stepkids. They need to know they matter to you. Otherwise, they'll feel like they've lost you to your new spouse (and vice versa for stepkids), which is sure to create conflict. So give the children lots of time and attention.

Second, invest in your new marriage. Kids need a stable home life to feel comfort and security. And studies repeatedly prove that the best indicator of stability in the home is a healthy marriage. So be sure your relationship is solid and vibrant before you walk down the aisle.

These ideas won't guarantee your households will blend without any problems at all. But they are a step in the right direction. The most important thing is to be consistent and to invest the energy necessary to make your new family work.

For more help strengthening your family, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: My teen daughter and friends spend entire weekends binge-watching their favorite shows. They're pretty careful about what they watch, so I'm not worried about that. But do you think this binge-watching thing is healthy?

Adam Holz, Plugged In: That's a great question. Binge-watching -- viewing multiple TV episodes in one sitting -- is a fairly new thing. Many shows, especially on streaming platforms like Netflix and Amazon, release entire seasons simultaneously. So there's no more waiting until next week, like the "good ol' days."

On one level, your daughter is doing what teens have done for decades: staying up late, having fun and tasting a bit of the freedom of moving toward adulthood (and the resulting tiredness the next day!). But on a deeper level, binge-watching does have an unhealthy edge to it. Bingeing excessively on anything -- food, drink or material things -- often feels satisfying in the moment. But later on, we realize that those attempts to fill our hearts, minds and bodies with something to make us feel good actually accomplish just the opposite, leaving us feeling empty and perhaps defeated.

Bingeing on TV may have different consequences than those forms of overconsumption, but the internal impulse is arguably the same: a desire for more, a desire to be filled, coupled with an inability to exercise self-control. A big part of becoming a mature adult is the ability to delay gratification. But binge-watching as a regular habit involves practicing just the opposite: seeking gratification right now.

On top of that, Netflix alone put out more than 800 original shows and movies last year. There's always another show to watch, and streaming companies are more than happy to oblige subscribers' binge appetites. But at some point, the healthy choice -- whether we're teens or adults -- is to turn off the TV and look for more productive ways to invest our limited time and affection in the relationships that matter most.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My wife and I are examples of opposites attract. We hold different social and spiritual beliefs but still really love each other. Now we're expecting our first child. We plan on showing her both our perspectives as she grows so she'll be well-rounded. That's a healthy approach, right?

Jim: When it comes to values in the home, many parents underestimate just how important it is to be on the same page with one another. If you think it's tough for adults to handle the emotion of conflicting viewpoints, it's even worse for kids.

Picture it this way: Have you ever seen one of those circus performers who rides into the arena standing atop two horses, one under each foot? That stunt only works as long as both horses remain side by side. But what happens if either horse angles even slightly in a different direction? The person on top will come tumbling down, or he'll have to choose one horse or the other to keep his footing.

It's the same dilemma in many homes. When parents hold conflicting values, it's as if the horses underneath the child are splitting into different directions. That's a no-win situation. No matter what the child does, he or she will be crossing one of their parents and will feel caught in the middle of their disagreement. That's a very stressful situation and a heavy burden for a child to bear. It'll make life seem unstable and scary. And when kids feel scared, you can bet it'll show up through negative behavior.

So get on the same page with your spouse -- if not for peace in your marriage, then certainly for the sake of your child. For time-tested life principles to help your household thrive, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: After years of marriage, it seems like everything my wife does or says drives me crazy. I still love her. But from the way she squeezes the toothpaste to how she talks on the phone or her latest cooking fad, I just find myself getting irritated. I know I shouldn't be this way. What can I do?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: If you find that you're only able to notice negative things about your spouse, marriage or anyone for that matter, you can be almost 99.9 percent sure you're "under the influence" of negative beliefs. When all you see is the weaknesses of your spouse's personality, you are heading down a dangerous pathway.

Psychologists call this tendency "confirmation bias." It basically means that whatever you're looking for in someone's behavior (your bias) is exactly what you'll notice (your confirmation). In essence, that person is powerless against your beliefs because -- you guessed it -- they can't control you or your thoughts.

You must fight these nasty beliefs in any relationship, but especially in your marriage. You can do this best by adopting an "I could be wrong" attitude and giving your wife the benefit of the doubt. Basically this means having a perspective that leaves room for the possibility that you've misinterpreted some irritating behavior you notice in your mate. You can work toward conquering negativity by giving your spouse the gift of believing the best about her and her intentions. After all, isn't that what you'd want her to do for you?

One practical way to jump-start this process is to write a list of every reason you love your wife and what drew you to her originally. When you find yourself getting irritated, step away and read through the list. Repeat as necessary. And try to find at least one new positive thing each week to add to the list. Keep it going and growing to help refocus your perspective.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.