Q: My husband lost his job five months ago, and money has been really tight. We're agonizing about Christmas. Our kids understand the situation, but I know their friends will all be getting the latest toys, games, etc. I'm dreading seeing their disappointed faces on Christmas morning. What can we do?

Jim: My heart goes out to your family. It's always hard to deal with financial challenges, but somehow they seem worse this time of year. That said, you might be surprised by what your children really want from you for Christmas.

A few years ago, a viral Internet video showed 10 families who were asked to participate in a simple experiment. The children -- ages 4 to 9 -- were asked to write a letter to Santa, listing what they wanted from him for Christmas. Not surprisingly, the kids were excited and had plenty of ideas, asking for everything from video games to musical instruments. One little girl even asked for a unicorn.

But then the children were asked to write another letter, this one to their parents. The task was the same -- list the things they wanted from Mom and Dad for Christmas. This time the kids were more quiet and thoughtful, and their requests were quite different. "Play with me more," one said. "Have dinner with us," said another. And on it went: "Spend a whole day with me." "Read us a story." "Tickle me."

Children love to get presents at Christmas. And we Moms and Dads love to give our children gifts. But as much as our kids may want that new video game -- or even a unicorn -- what they really want is time with us. As one of the parents in the video said, "Imagine! You want to give your kids the best you can. And the best is yourself!"

Many parents simply don't have the money to buy their children the latest toys and electronic gadgets. The good news is that to make a child's upbringing rich and meaningful, none of those are necessary. A little thought and creativity can go a long way.

So what I would suggest is that when your children open their (simple) gifts this Christmas, they find a wide range of personalized coupons for various times and activities with Mom and Dad. An afternoon at the park. Playing catch in the backyard. A game night at home. Make coupons that your kids can "redeem" at times of their choosing throughout the year, as well as planned events on specific dates.

Most communities have a number of fun opportunities to choose from. You can take advantage of museums, science centers and zoos in your area, most of which offer low-cost or free children's programs. (They generally advertise special days well in advance, so you can plan your schedule and coupons.) Many universities offer classical or children's concerts and Saturday morning theater productions for kids.

Every few weeks, go to the public library together. Check out books and DVDs that will introduce all of you to people and places you've never dreamed of before, and explore on a rainy or snowy day.

Try giving your children simple (or elaborate!) coupons for designated activities like these, as well as generic times like "an uninterrupted hour with Dad" or "baking with Mom."

You may have to get creative, but take heart! The happiest, most well-adjusted children are not those with every new toy that hits the stores. The kids who thrive best have committed, caring parents who take a genuine interest in their lives. So this Christmas, and throughout this next year, give your children the best gift of all -- you!

For more encouragement to make this season meaningful, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: We moved into a new (larger) house this year. So for the first time at Christmas, the entire extended family will be under one roof: ours. What can we do to manage the stress of hosting?

Jim: This should be the most joyous time of the year -- but often it's the most stressful. I think a big reason is the amount of expectation we pour into the holidays.

We put expectations on ourselves and our family members, and they have expectations for how they want things to go as well. It's a special time of year, and we want the house to be perfect, the gifts to be perfect, the meals to be perfect. Everything must go off without a hitch.

The trouble is, holidays rarely work out as perfectly as we'd like because there are too many variables that can go wrong. And the moment our expectations get dashed, then stress, disappointment and conflict aren't far behind.

The most obvious solution is to lower your expectations. Of course, that can be a little tricky because we often don't realize just how high our expectations really are until it's too late. The best way to defuse that problem is to talk about everything ahead of time.

So as you're finalizing your Christmas get-together this year, talk with your spouse or other family members about how you hope things will go. And then proactively discuss how you can adapt if (when) necessary. It may not seem like much, but conversations like that can make a big difference. They'll help you put things in their proper perspective. And those lowered expectations can create just enough wiggle room for you to stay calm when things go differently than you expect.

Q: My 10- and 13-year-old kids have been pushing me to let them watch PG-13 movies. Most reviews I find don't tell much about aspects of the films' content that concern me as a mom. I'm afraid my older kids' attraction to these movies will influence my younger ones (ages 5 and 8). Help!

Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting and Youth: A crucial task of parenting is guiding our children in areas where their thoughts and character are being impacted. Ultimately, we don't just want our kids to exhibit right behaviors; they need to internalize the right principles that then direct those actions and attitudes.

Sadly, the values portrayed in popular media are often not the best ones for children to adopt, so we've got to pay close attention to what they're taking in. Since they'll be making more and more of their own choices as they get older, it's vital that they learn to exercise discernment for themselves regarding entertainment.

The good news: You are the most influential voice in your children's lives. Take time to discuss your family's values and compare/contrast them with those in popular entertainment. Remind your kids that their choices impact not only their thoughts, life and character, but also the mental processes that influence those thoughts and character. Help them take ownership of their minds, their decisions and their lives.

On that note, talk about personal freedom -- not just the liberty to choose what they want to watch, but the ability to choose well. Highlight that their choices affect not only themselves, but also their younger siblings, who are looking up to and being influenced by them -- for good or bad.

One helpful tool in teaching (and exercising) wise media discernment is PluggedIn.com, where you can read detailed reviews of movies, television programs and music. Take time to discuss the reviews together.

Teaching entertainment discernment requires time and effort, but you can do it and it's worth it!

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Q: Our kids made their Christmas lists early this year. Reading through them, I'm taken aback at how ... well, self-centered they are. How can we adjust their point of view?

Jim: Most children have a tendency to feel that the world revolves around them. Our culture encourages this problem by telling kids -- and adults, frankly -- to be self-centered, to look out for No. 1. As parents, we have to work hard to help our kids look beyond their own interests and to develop empathy for others.

Author Silvana Clark addresses this issue in her book "Fun-Filled Parenting." She suggests that one of the best antidotes for self-centeredness is to volunteer as a family. It might be donating some items to a local shelter, or hosting a neighborhood car wash and giving the proceeds to charity. Picking up trash at the park, taking part in a church service project, putting together care packages for the troops ... the possibilities are endless.

According to Clark, volunteering can help children learn four valuable lessons. First, it helps them understand that they're not the center of the universe. Second, it enables kids to learn responsibility and gain self-confidence. Third, it puts them in touch with community resources and groups that depend on volunteers. And finally, volunteering helps children build relationships with positive role models -- men and women who have invested their lives in reaching out to others.

It's important that we as moms and dads model service and self-sacrifice for our children, but it's even better if we can get the kids involved in the same activities. Make volunteering a family affair! It will draw you closer together, and you just might make some lasting memories in the process.

For more tips on how to help your family thrive, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: My marriage of 17 years is basically dead. My husband and I are both done with it, but we have agreed that we'll stay together for the children (ages 15 and 13) until they're both out of the house. That will at least be a positive for the kids, right?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: That's what a lot of couples on the verge of divorce say. According to a number of studies, they're right. But there's a lot more at stake here.

Children whose biological mother and father stay married are less likely to get into trouble, to use drugs or to be sexually active at an early age. They're also more likely to complete college and to enjoy a successful marriage of their own. Those are the kinds of positive results we all want for our children. It all starts with keeping your marriage together.

BUT -- even better is to get your relationship on a path toward healing. Staying together for your children but fighting every night in front of them is counterproductive. Severe conflict in your home can unravel all the good you're trying to do on their behalf.

A healthy home environment is one where children see their mom and dad work through their differences and live out their love for one another. Don't stay together for the kids' sake only to stay miserable in your marriage. Seek help for your problems and find common ground.

If you and your husband are both willing to try, I would strongly suggest one of our Hope Restored Marriage Intensives (hoperestored.focusonthefamily.com). At the very least, please call our counselors at 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

You and your spouse don't have to be strangers living together under the same roof. Do yourselves and your children a favor: Stay together and get your marriage healthy.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.