Q: My husband and I were married this past spring. We had a great summer and especially enjoyed doing things together during the weekend. Then came fall -- and with it college football season. I knew my husband was a fan, but now that we're married I'd prefer to be spending Saturdays doing things together that we're both interested in, rather than waiting around while he's watching his alma mater on TV. Is this situation something I should be worried about?

Jim: Couples often get married thinking the secret to marital bliss is having the exact same interests. It doesn't take long for them to discover -- like we all do -- that we're rarely just like our spouse. The good news is we don't have to be. Successful marriages aren't the result of perfect chemistry. They're built, in part, by learning how to bring our separateness together.

A local couple, Ted and Cindy, are a good example of this. They like to fish together nearly every weekend in the summer. Well, actually, Ted likes to fish. Cindy doesn't really care for it, but she loves to read and loves the Colorado outdoors. So on Saturday mornings, they drive into the Rocky Mountains, and he fly fishes while she sits on the bank and enjoys a book. They have a picnic together. They laugh. They talk. They enrich their marriage. But their deeper connection doesn't come about by forcing their individual interests onto each other. It comes from bringing their "separateness" together.

Differences can strengthen a couple's bond rather than weaken it. But it takes patience and a willingness to embrace your spouse's unique view of life. If you both will do that, you'll discover a deeper intimacy with one another than you ever thought possible.

Question: Can you suggest ways my spouse and I might use social media to encourage each other and strengthen our marriage?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Author Neil Postman says that "every technology is both a burden and a blessing; not either-or, but this-and-that." This is certainly true where online social networking is concerned. When used with wisdom and discernment, it can be an effective tool for strengthening marriages. Here are some suggestions how this idea might play out in practical terms:

-- Connectivity. Social media serve marriages best when used to maintain a healthy connection between spouses. A husband or wife on a business trip can use Facebook to share new experiences with the entire family and to give them a sense of participating in the journey. It's also a good way to hold yourself accountable by keeping family members posted on your activities and whereabouts.

-- Enhancing relationships. Some research suggests that social media, when used appropriately, can actually add intensity and immediacy to face-to-face relationships. When used as a supplement to rather than a replacement for flesh-and-blood contact with another human being, online communication can add new layers of intimacy and understanding to our interactions with those we love.

-- Walking in the light. Husbands and wives who connect with old friends via Facebook may sometimes have unprecedented opportunities to enter into the details of one another's personal histories. This can be tricky. It might become a source of tension, suspicion or jealousy if one of the partners' old high school flames decides to put in a "friend" request. But such developments can be beneficial if they have the effect of eliminating secrets and shining a light on the past.

-- Community. The healthiest marriages are those linked into a strong support group. Couples need other couples, and social media can be an effective tool for networking, discovering common interests with friends, organizing events and coordinating get-togethers.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Do you think it's a good idea for husbands and wives to have regular activities apart from each other with their friends of the same sex? My husband feels a deep need to get together with his guy friends a couple of times each month, but I'd rather spend most of my time with him. I get out with some girlfriends a couple times a year, and this seems to be more than sufficient for me. What are your thoughts?

Jim: Assuming that the two of you aren't short-changing your time together as a couple, we'd suggest that it's almost always a good idea for a husband and wife to enjoy a reasonable amount of activity with their respective same-sex friends. Females need other females. Guys need guys. But this isn't necessarily the last word.

If we were sitting across the table from you and asked you to describe your marriage, what would you say? What are your expectations for the relationship? Are those expectations being fulfilled or not? Give some honest thought to the quality of your relationship. When it is just the two of you, do you enjoy each other's company, or do you find it difficult to be together? How would your spouse answer that question?

Bottom line: If you're connecting, enjoying the time you spend together, and striking a healthy balance between friend time and couple time, we don't think you have anything to worry about. A secure wife who cares about her husband's enrichment is usually happy to see him forming healthy bonds with other men of solid character. If, however, your husband is deliberately cutting you out of his life or trying to "escape" the relationship, I'd encourage you to give the situation some attention -- preferably with the assistance of a trained marriage counselor.

Q: How can I encourage my bashful preschooler to open up and break out of her shell? She's soft-spoken, reserved, and afraid of walking into a room full of people. Is there something we can do to make it easier for her to interact with others?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Every individual is different, and there are some situations in which a child's bashful behavior may turn into a cause for serious concern. But most of the time it's simply a question of temperament. In these cases, there's no need to think of it as an insurmountable problem or to treat it like one. Some kids are just born with a predisposition to be less outgoing than others.

Raising bashful boys and girls is a delicate art that requires discernment, sensitivity and balance. If you have a more assertive, confident personality than your daughter, it may be particularly difficult for you to understand her. If so, your first assignment is to get inside her head and try to see the world through her eyes.

One of the best ways to help a shy child is to show her that you love her unconditionally. Let her know that she doesn't have to perform in certain ways to be accepted by you. At those moments when she seems paralyzed by her bashfulness, respond with encouragement -- a disapproving comment or look will only make her feel even more self-conscious.

At the same time, resist the temptation to make life easier for her by shielding her from new people or situations. Coddling and reinforcing self-defeating behavior will only create additional problems in the future. If you feel like you need more guidance in this matter, you can start with our licensed staff counselors by calling 855-771-HELP (4357).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Should I share my marital frustrations and problems with my parents and siblings? We're a tight-knit family, and though my marriage isn't in crisis, sometimes I just need to vent.

Jim: Only if the sharing, venting and "support" they garner for you are likely to produce positive results in your marriage. But how do you determine this?

The first step is to gauge the emotional stability and psychological health of your parents and siblings. Are they really the kind of people you can trust with your secret marital frustrations? Do they have the capacity to listen compassionately to what you have to say and would their only motive be to offer you good, solid, objective and disinterested advice?

Every couple needs a strong support system -- a group of people they can turn to in times of trouble. Ideally, we all want family members to be part of that network. When it comes to your marital frustrations, however, family is often too emotionally involved, too biased, and too invested to maintain a helpful and objective point of view. Remember, God has designed your marriage to be an exclusive relationship. If you want to preserve its integrity and promote its health, you have to take measures to protect it from outside meddling.

Generally speaking, I'd encourage you and your spouse to keep your conflicts and disagreements between yourselves. If you find yourself needing a third party to help you work things through, we'd urge you to seek out a same-gender individual who can maintain a purely detached and disinterested perspective -- a pastor, for instance, or a qualified marriage counselor or a trusted friend. This is the best way to preserve safety and trust at the heart of your marriage.

Q: My fiance and I are excited to be planning our wedding, but we're already starting to encounter some tension as we talk about budgeting for the ceremony -- much less how we'll manage our finances once we're married. Do you have any advice?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: One of the greatest areas of conflict in any marriage is money. The reasons are easy to understand. When you put two people together with one checkbook who have different value systems, different personalities, different training, different goals and different priorities, you're bound to have conflict. Determining how you are going to make financial decisions and who pays what bills, who determines the budget, etc., are essential aspects of preparing for marriage.

You should also address your respective beliefs about credit cards (and whether either of you are bringing any credit debt into the marriage), along with topics like student loans, children (when and how many), how soon you expect to buy a house and other lifestyle expectations.

It can actually be a good idea for young couples to prepare a combined budget before they get married. Most of the financial conflict that occurs in marriage can be avoided if couples spend some time talking through these issues prior to the wedding. These questions assume an even larger significance when divorced or widowed individuals come together in a second marriage.

Many of the money problems that arise in marriage are actually communication problems. If a couple can't discuss money, which will affect their lives on a daily basis, they are bound to have serious issues showing up in other areas of their life together. Values, goals, priorities, philosophies, training -- it's important to understand all of these things about yourself and your intended spouse before you get married. For more insights, I would humbly suggest the book "Ready to Wed" from Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley, general editors (Tyndale House Publishers Inc., 2015).

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.