Q: Our kids love their teachers and want to buy Christmas gifts for them, but our district discourages it. Doesn't that stifle the generosity we're trying to instill in our kids? What is the appropriate thing to do?

A: Few topics spark more lively discussions at PTO meetings than whether or not to give a teacher a gift for the holidays. Some districts and states attempt to answer it with policies banning or restricting gifts to teachers.

But when kids love their teachers and parents wish to show appreciation, a "no gifts" policy is unenforceable. Kennewick, Washington, educator Brenda Mehlenbacher learned this when she was an elementary school principal. In consultation with her staff, she sent letters home two years in a row, "thanking parents for their loving generosity, but asking them to contribute to a charity in their teacher's name rather than send a gift. They contributed to the charity and brought gifts anyway."

Mehlenbacher adds, "We realized that bringing gifts to teachers was important to the kids, and it was futile to try to stop it."

Instead, she explains, they put the focus on "simple gifts from the heart" and discouraged anything expensive. They told parents that gifts are not expected and that a "card a child made or a note of appreciation is one of the best gifts of all."

To reinforce the spirit of the season, Mehlenbacher started a "Giving Tree" tradition. The school counselor writes items she knows that children in less-fortunate families need on paper ornaments. Children who wish to participate choose an ornament, buy the gift and place it under the tree.

"No one knows who participated," Mehlenbacher says. "Something like this is a good way to promote the message that Christmas is about love, not shopping."

One Maryland mother, Janelle Perkins, channeled kids' desire to give into service opportunities that pay tribute to teachers and help others.

"Maryland schools require community service, so we volunteer time for local charities in teachers' names," she says. "It's a nice way to bring families together. We create a card for the teacher with the message that the Perkins family will volunteer four hours collecting goods for Open Cupboard, for example, in her honor."

If your kids want to give a more traditional item, keep these guidelines in mind, say teachers:

-- No food; you don't know who has allergies or other food restrictions.

-- Nothing personal, such as perfumes, soaps or clothing.

-- Forget the mugs "and all things with an apple," says Jenny Foster, a Texas elementary teacher who has "more apple paperweights than I'll ever use!"

The most useful gifts, say teachers, are certificates to stores where the recipient may purchase something for the classroom.

If you have time, consider coordinating a class gift with other parents, suggests Sharon Paul, a Massachusetts mom who has been a classroom teacher.

"It removes the pressure of everyone feeling like they have to do something big," she says. "If people chip in a few dollars -- and everyone can give what they wish -- you can give a great gift certificate from the entire group."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: I want to buy my kids STEM toys. (I have a 9-year-old girl and an 11-year-old boy.) I've found robotic toys related to "Star Wars" that would thrill them, but how do I know if they're worth it? What resources can help me?

A: You're not the only parent thinking about this. Parents want good-value toys that pique curiosity, capture kids' interests, boost their STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) skills and teach them problem-solving.

"Parents' instinct is to spend big bucks," says educator Warren Buckleitner, the founder and editor of Children's Technology Review (childrenstech.com). "Before shelling out, ask: What type of play does this toy promote?"

Buckleitner thinks that the best thing you can give a kid is a toolbox from Home Depot. Really.

"Buy a screwdriver and wrench set, safety goggles, plastic gloves, magnifying glass, wire cutters, a hammer and maybe a 9-volt battery," he says.

"Makerspaces" are the rage these days, but Buckleitner advises parents to clear a "breaker space" where kids can take apart old cellphones, CD players or your dead lawnmower.

"Let them discover O-rings and pistons and the guts of a computer keyboard," he explains. "Sure, it's messy, but real STEM learning is finding out what's inside and then creating something new, whether that's a robot that fans the dog or a sculpture for the wall. Many great inventors -- from Thomas Edison to Gordon Moore -- started by taking things apart."

Once kids have a toolbox, get them a "bicycle for the Information Age." That's what Buckleitner calls laptops and tablets.

"Kids need a reliable device to access digital materials to tinker with, and it needs to be their own," he says. "A $200 Chromebook provides email and Internet access."

As for tablets, Buckleitner says some form of an iPad gives you the best bang for your buck: "Apple is the leader in offering great educational apps."

When shopping for any device, Buckleitner says to remember the 90/50/10 rule.

"You can get 90 percent of the functionality for about half the cost simply by waiting 10 months," he argues. "For example, rather than spring for the new $800 iPad Pro, spend $394 for an iPad Air for 90 percent of the functionality. Add a $30 Big Grips Slim case. Spend the money you save on apps."

So, how do you choose from the thousands of kids' apps? Buckleitner's review staff of kids, parents and other experts puts software and hardware to the test all year. He publishes the Children's Technology Review monthly; it maintains an active review database of 11,800 products. Chris Abraham, a New York-based dad and an elementary robotics team coach, refers people to Buckleitner's newsletter because "we can trust their reviews."

For example, if your goal is to find toys that teach coding, Buckleitner suggests Tynker, an app that allows kids to program robots Sphero and Ollie; Scratch 2.0, where kids can create, edit and view projects right in their web browser; the Dash and Dot Wonder Pack, which are responsive, programmable robots; and littleBits, electronic building blocks that snap together with magnets. (For more information, go to childrenstech.com.)

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: I heard a pediatrician on TV say parents should use real sentences when talking to babies, even if they don't understand, and that toddlers should hear 21,000 words a day. How is this beneficial?

A: There's a lot of talk these days about the importance of talking to babies. Research shows that when parents carry on conversations with very young children -- even newborns -- it boosts their language development dramatically and helps them succeed in school later on.

A 1995 landmark study by University of Kansas psychologists Betty Hart and Todd Risley showed that the amount of positive conversation parents and caregivers have with children younger than 3 has a huge impact on their educational outcomes later.

They observed how parents of varying socio-economic backgrounds spoke to their children and found that by age 3, kids in upper-income families heard roughly 30 million more words than their poorer counterparts.

Their study launched others. Stanford University found that as early as 18 months, kids in different socio-economic groups show dramatic differences in their vocabularies.

States and localities created programs to help parents engage very young children with words. Providence, Rhode Island, launched Providence Talks. The program records what a child hears for a few hours each week and then coaches parents on how to build on the conversations.

Pediatrician Dana Suskind of the University of Chicago School of Medicine founded the Thirty Million Words Initiative to teach parents how to accelerate their toddlers' language learning. She's partnering with the Chicago Public Library on ways to help parents enrich the language they share with their young children.

In her book, "Thirty Million Words: Building a Child's Brain" (Dutton, 2015), Suskind says the quality of interaction between adults and children matters. Kids aren't born smart; parents help them through verbal interaction. She stresses the "Three T's": Tune In, Talk More and Take Turns, and she suggests a mantra for parents: "Don't just do it, talk them through it."

California's First 5 program advocates that parents talk, read and sing to children starting from birth to stimulate a baby's brain cells to grow and develop, says Adizah Eghan of Oakland-based GreatSchools.org.

In addition, Eghan offers these strategies:

Ask open-ended questions. Don't ask, "Do you want water?" Instead, ask, "What would you like to drink: water, milk or juice?" to get your child to use more specific words.

Turn your child's words into sentences. If she says, "Wah, wah," say, "Oh, would you like some water?" as you hand her the water. Then, intentionally say, "Here's your water."

Include toddlers in family discussions. Family time -- dinners, outings, even cleaning up the house -- is great for rich conversations that allow you to use new vocabulary and model sentences.

As phones and tablets hop into newborns' cribs, Suskind is concerned about how much talk and interaction all parents, no matter what their income level, have with their children.

"Technology isn't going away," she says, "but we have to figure out how to make it our friend. The baby's brain is still developed by talk."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)