Q: My 13-year-old daughter can't hold a conversation. She and her friends text each other -- even while together! I want her to talk with family and friends. She's not shy; she just comes off as detached. How can I teach her the art of conversation?

A: "Knowing how to have a meaningful conversation is an important life skill," says Dr. Allen Mendler, a nationally respected expert on motivating learners and the author of "When Teaching Gets Tough" (ASCD, 2012). "Parents should take an active role in developing kids' oral language skills. Your daughter may moan and groan, but don't give up."

Mendler suggests the following strategies:

-- Model good conversation. Conversation is a volley of thoughts and opinions that help us get to know, appreciate and respect one another. You model conversation by exchanging views, not by checking your email when your spouse asks your opinion.

To practice, "Try one- to two-minute interactions, one-on-one, a few times each week with your daughter unrelated to behavior, tasks or homework," suggests Mendler. "Share something about yourself she might not know, or ask her opinion on a topic. Use responses or prompts that enhance conversation, such as, 'Really? Tell me more. Why do you think that happened? No kidding!'"

-- Set aside "no electronics" family time. Schedule a distraction-free environment with turned-off phones, such as a regular family mealtime. "Ask everyone to share something about the day -- a highlight, problem, something they learned, something fun or a way they made somebody's life better," says Mendler. "If there is initial silence, wait 15 seconds and then share something about yourself. Model good listening by summarizing what each person said. Eventually, expect other family members to do this."

-- Challenge her. If she and her friends hang out without interacting, bet them five dollars they can't have a conversation for five minutes. "Tell them a conversation means you talk and then ask a question that shows you might be interested in what someone has to say," says Mendler. "Teach them the SLANTS rule: Smile. Listen. Answer or ask questions. Nod to show interest. Track the speaker. Share something back."

If no one begins, you start. For example, say, "What can we do that's fun but doesn't cost a lot?" and talk for one minute. End by saying, "So those are things I like to do that are inexpensive. What are some things you like to do?"

Another twist is to bring up what 13-year-old girls are interested in -- such as boys, music or fashion -- then pretend you are clueless: "I don't get it. A hundred years ago, when I was 13, I couldn't stop talking to friends about boys and our favorite music. All you girls do is fiddle with your phones. What am I missing? Just out of curiosity, who's the cutest guy at school? Who's the smartest? Why?"

If nobody engages, talk about guys you knew when you were 13. When your daughter expresses horror ("Oh, Mom!") that you once thought a guy was cute, you'll have started a good conversation!

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My New Year's resolution is to help my boys, ages 8 and 10, find the fun in learning. Tests have teachers so stressed that they're passing the worry to kids. What can parents do to help kids keep their chins up and enjoy school?

A: Kids should not see each school day as an endless series of tests, trials and new material. Try these tips from one of the nation's top parent coaches, Maryland educator and retired principal Shirley Harden.

-- Create a "Proud Parent" gallery. Find a spot to showcase your boys' school work, art, family photos and cartoons. One Texas mom turned her kitchen wall into a combined bulletin board/chalkboard. She says it "serves as our center for scheduling, homework checking, posting kids' work, new words and fun facts.

"The wall sends a message: Our family time is important. Your school work matters. We all enjoy learning something new each day."

-- Reflect and take stock. Kids live very much in the now. A perceived slight or a poor test grade can take on meaning that is disproportionate to its significance and ruin an otherwise good day. Adults must help kids learn to step back and gain perspective.

Take time each day to talk about school. Draw out worries and reinforce positives with questions: "What surprised you today in school?" "What did you do you were proud of today?"

Help kids see their progress. "If one son is learning to manage anger," says Harden, "compliment him by saying, 'I like the way you handled that problem. It was much more mature than your response in November.'"

Always celebrate the end of a testing week or a marking period. Go to a movie; make a favorite meal. Show kids that steady effort over the long haul leads to good results.

-- Connect school with success in life. "It's important for student to link success in school with having a fulfilled life," says Harden. "Point out these connections. If you're at the dentist with your boys, point to the diplomas and ask the doctor what she had to study to become a dentist. If you see a program about an astronaut fixing the International Space Station, Google the astronaut to learn how he became a scientist. On weekends, visit places that will spark kids' imaginations (museums, zoos, nature trails, planetariums), and make the link between school and cool careers. It's never too early to talk about the path to college."

-- Boost kids' mental energy. In today's overscheduled world, kids often arrive at school drained by the stress of getting there. Make key decisions the night before. With younger children, lay out their clothes; gather their backpacks, books and assignments; decide if the kids are buying or taking lunch. With teens, double check the daily planner and homework. Schedule a nightly wind-down time just before bed. Discuss concerns so no one goes to sleep with a worry list.

-- Each morning tell your boys: "I love you and I know you'll do well today. You'll learn something new and you'll tell me about it tonight."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My daughter, a high school senior, is a heavy social media user. She has a long Facebook history, some of which is not so flattering. She's applying to colleges, and her counselor suggested that she clean up immature postings because colleges check them. Is that true? If so, should we pay a service to scrub her online footprint? She's got good grades and hopes for a scholarship. We don't want to hurt her chances.

A: Yes, college admission officers may go online to check out what their applicants are posting on social media, says Rob Franek, a Princeton Review college admissions expert.

The New York Times recently reported findings from a Kaplan Test Prep survey that indicated "30 percent of the admissions officers said they had discovered information online that had negatively affected an applicant's prospects."

This is a sobering statistic for students with active social media accounts. "A student could have earned great SAT scores, gotten good grades and submitted stellar essays, but all of that hard work may be negated if he or she has an offensive, immature or inappropriate online presence," says Franek, author of "The Best 378 Colleges, 2014 Edition" (Random House/The Princeton Review, 2013).

If your daughter has a less-than-ideal online presence, don't panic, but do clean up those unflattering past posts. "Hiring a professional to do that may be a necessity if you or your daughter don't know how to manage this properly or don't have the time," Franek advises. "But taking steps to correct this will be very important and give each of you a little peace of mind."

Franek suggests ways you and your daughter can do damage control: First, your daughter should put her privacy settings on the highest level of security. Make sure that she does not come up on searches by checking on a different browser after updating the settings.

Block apps on Facebook so that her name isn't associated with those either. "This may frustrate some teens who think it will limit their ability to interact with friends online, but ultimately it will be worth it," says Franek.

"A friend may know that your daughter's quirky tweet or photo was intended as a joke, but the person deciding whether to admit her to her dream school may not. Make all accounts private. It'll keep the strangers out. One can still control who one connects with online when one's privacy settings are on high."

Once your daughter has made all her accounts private (including Instagram), have her go through each account and delete all posts that represent her less-than-proudest moments. There may be posts that she has completely forgotten about, or that appear inappropriate when taken out of context.

Remind your daughter to be responsible when posting new items. "After college, when job searching, prospective employers may check her online profile as well," says Franek. "When it comes to social media posts, it's best to err on the side of being conservative and always to remember to put one's best 'selfie' forward."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)