parenting

Building Character Just as Valuable as Good Grades for Kids

A+ Advice for Parents by by Leanna Landsmann
by Leanna Landsmann
A+ Advice for Parents | December 17th, 2012

Q: I heard an interview with an author who says character is more important than IQ in school success. I have zero time to read, but I like his idea. Are there character-building tips that will work with one bratty teen?

A: Chances are you heard author Paul Tough, whose new book, "How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character" (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012), has teachers and parents buzzing. It showcases the work of scientists who have identified skills they believe are crucial to success, such as persistence, curiosity, conscientiousness, optimism, gratitude and self-control. Neuroscientists call these executive functions, says Tough, but "the rest of us often sum them up with the word 'character.'"

There is no quick cure for brattiness, but you can shape your teen's character over time through daily experiences that reflect and reinforce a family's values, says Stephen Wallace, school psychologist and director of the Center for Adolescent Research and Education at Susquehanna University in Selinsgrove, Pa.

"Make this a family project over the holidays to identify and discuss values and character traits that you'd like to practice," Wallace says. "Don't think kids will balk at this. Research shows that they want to have these talks, much more than parents know!"

Create a family guide or rulebook -- give it a great title and cover. Credit the family member whose ideas are reflected in each entry. Insert inspiring quotes from thinkers that relate to specific character traits.

For example, do you want your children to be more respectful of others? Wallace suggests a family rule: Leave every place neater than you found it.

"This has an astounding impact on bathrooms, kitchens, and dens!" he says.

Would you like your children to be more appreciative? Practice thanking folks for everyday actions: the movie usher as you enter the theater, the bus driver as you exit the bus, etc. Gratitude leads to an optimistic outlook.

Do you want your kids to be more punctual? Consider Wallace's own personal rule: "Early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable."

Is one of your kids a perfectionist, afraid to take chances? Consider an entry that says mistakes are OK: "Sometimes failure helps us succeed."

One value children love to discuss is, "Do the right thing, even when no one is watching," says Wallace. "It goes to the heart of character. It gets them to demonstrate whether they are serious about values they profess to hold."

"'Be kind to those who love you' is a great rule for families," says Wallace. "Write it on sticky notes to remind everyone that it's important to nurture our relationships!"

Many families are taking the dinner hour to build relationships and reinforce desired character traits, says Wallace.

"A University of Minnesota study shows positive social and academic effects on kids when families carve out mealtime together," he says. (For more information, go to thefamilydinnerproject.org.)

Exploring and defining your family's values is a wonderful a gift to give each other over the holidays, says Wallace.

"What better way to write family New Year's resolutions?" he says.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

parenting

Buy Books, Magazines That Reflect Young Readers' Interests

A+ Advice for Parents by by Leanna Landsmann
by Leanna Landsmann
A+ Advice for Parents | December 10th, 2012

Q: When my nieces and nephews were little, I loved choosing books for Christmas gifts. Now that they're in third grade and up, it's harder. What series are popular for tweens and teens this season?

A: There's no blockbuster like the "Harry Potter" series or "The Hunger Games." But even if there were, what's popular with one reader may bore another.

As readers grow, it's best to let them choose their own leisure reading.

"This motivates them to read more, especially when they can choose books based on their interests, or a series that really hooks them," says Carl Harvey, library media specialist at North Elementary School, in Noblesville, Ind.

Take them to a bookstore -- as President Barack Obama did recently with his daughters -- and let them pick their own presents.

"Browsing the shelves together is a great outing -- young people want the gift of your time and attention, too," says Harvey. "You'll show kids just how important reading is to you. Don't worry if what they choose looks like 'junk.' Wouldn't you rather have them read a comics series than not read at all?

"Once they've made their selections, you can still have them wrapped for the tree."

If an outing isn't possible, ask them if they have a favorite author or series (many do), and order the latest work from that author. Or give gift cards from local or national booksellers. If they have iPads or Kindles, buy gift cards for downloading books, too.

There is one sure-to-please category of nonfiction books to consider -- almanacs and record books.

"These span age levels and make reading a whole family affair," says Harvey. "They're fun, and they can also serve as reference tools for homework assignments."

Four entertaining, fact-packed 2013 almanacs to consider: Scholastic Almanac for Kids 2013 (Scholastic Reference, 2012), TIME For Kids Almanac 2013 (TIME For Kids, 2012), The World Almanac for Kids 2013 (World Almanac, 2012) and National Geographic Kids Almanac 2013 (National Geographic Children's Books, 2012).

The granddaddy of record books is Guinness World Records 2013 (Guinness World Records, 2012). Depending on the recipients' interests, browse for other titles, such as Guinness World Records 2013 Gamer's Edition (Guinness World Records, 2012) or Scholastic Year In Sports 2013 (Scholastic Paperbacks, 2012). The TIME For Kids Big Book of Why (TIME For Kids, 2010) is a great discussion starter.

Another idea is to give magazines, suggests Harvey.

"Even in this age of email, texting and digital content delivery, tweens and teens love to get things in the mail," he says.

Most print subscriptions come with online access to special digital content. Some geared-for-kids magazines to consider for tweens include: National Geographic Kids, Kids Discover Magazine, Sports Illustrated Kids, Odyssey: Adventures in Science and Muse. Cicada is a literary magazine for teens 14 and up.

Consider, too, magazines to match young readers' hobbies and interests, such as Popular Science, Sports Illustrated, NASCAR Illustrated, National Geographic, Vogue, InStyle and People.

"Identify a passion, and there's probably a good magazine about it for a teen or tween reader to enjoy," says Harvey. "When you give magazines, you put good reading in their hands year-round!"

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

parenting

Selecting a Kid-Friendly Tablet

A+ Advice for Parents by by Leanna Landsmann
by Leanna Landsmann
A+ Advice for Parents | December 3rd, 2012

Q: Our boys, 8 and 9, love their dad's iPad, so we're getting them tablets for Christmas. Which tablet offers the best education and entertainment at the best price?

A: Warren Buckleitner, founder and publisher of Children's Technology Review, has rated children's software for two decades. The day I contacted him, he and his team were testing 22 devices in four categories: handhelds (such as Nintendo and PlayStation); Androids (Kindle and Nook, plus new entries); the Apple 'ecosystem'; and tablets from toymakers such as Fisher-Price, LeapFrog and Vtech.

When choosing a tablet for a child, Buckleitner wants parents to ask:

-- What device best matches your child's development? "An 8-year-old iPad user will find it hard to settle for a toylike tablet. The screens may not be as sensitive, it may lack a camera, and apps can take longer to launch," notes Buckleitner. "Kids care about power, aesthetics and ease of use -- just like adults."

-- What device will grow with your child? "Don't purchase something your child will be bored with in a few months," says Buckleitner. "Start with the apps. While I'm happy to see new Android entries, the quality and quantity of Android apps for kids doesn't compare to the tens of thousands of Apple apps for kids."

-- What are you really paying? A $150 tablet that requires the purchase of plug-ins, cartridges or online downloads, plus a constant replenishing of batteries, can end up being as expensive as a $300 product with lots of free and low-cost apps.

-- Does it pass the Angry Birds test? "Take your boys to a store and let them 'test-drive' devices," says Buckleitner. "Try an app you know, like Angry Birds. Does the game load quickly? Do the birds fly smoothly through the air? Is the sound muffled? Does it feel responsive?"

For children your sons' ages, Buckleitner suggests purchasing within the Apple iOS ecosystem. "My rule is simple -- go for as much quality for the money, and that means Apple. In addition, the iOS preferences let you kid-proof as much or as little as you like."

Of all the choices, Buckleitner likes the iPad mini. It delivers all the iPad apps in a smaller form with a clear display. "It has Wi-Fi, improved sound and good cameras. The mini can talk and listen, via Siri, and kids love to play with Siri!" he says. Prices start at $330.

A less expensive Apple alternative is an iPod touch (fourth generation). "It might be two years old, but this $180 option offers access to all Apple apps," he says. "Another solution is to buy used iPhones, or upgrade yours and give the boys the old ones with phone service disabled."

The goal is to "match high-quality digital experiences with your child's age and interests. You want experiences that are fun and empowering, and that you can learn and play along with, too," says Buckleitner.

Find top-rated kids' apps at childrenstech.com. The free content is valuable, and an annual subscription ($30) can be invaluable in selecting the best apps for your boys.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

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