Q: My eighth-grader spends too much time on Facebook. She's obsessive about checking it 24/7 this summer. Taking the computer and phone away aren't practical solutions. How can we make her time online less wasteful?

A: As teens constantly monitor their Facebook status updates, spend hours playing games and watch a steady diet of charmingly silly videos, it sucks precious time from their lives and dampens their creativity.

"I understand this mom's concern. And she's right; removing the technology won't solve the problem," says Betsy Corcoran, editor of EdSurge, a lively newsletter about the intersection of education and technology.

Corcoran, a mother of two teens, believes that parents have a responsibility to help kids find tech tools that encourage them to be active learners rather than passive sponges just soaking up others' Facebook updates.

"Content for teens can be mind-numbing," she says. "Or it can offer compelling opportunities to build things, write computer games, learn a language, start blogs, tour the world or test-drive a career online.

"The trick is to coach your daughter to use these tools to become a producer, not just a consumer. This is a fundamental shift, and one that is important for digital natives to learn."

What software programs and tools can change kids from consumers to creators? Corcoran likes the following:

If your daughter enjoys writing, check out Penzu (penzu.com), an online diary site. Teen Voices (teenvoices.com) links to other writing sites. Pathbrite.com helps her create a digital scrapbook that can include photos and videos.

She may not be ready to start her own video blog, but what about creating a fun stop-motion video using a site called iCreate to Educate (icreatetoeducate.com)? For instance, she could make a stop-motion video to entertain kids she baby-sits!

Is your daughter passionate about a topic? Learnist (learni.st) is a "Pinterest for learning things," says Corcoran. It allows users to explore topics by pulling related blog posts, music, videos, images and podcasts from the Web. She can learn from others -- or teach by compiling her own collection of "learnings" and sharing it.

Does she want to learn a language? Try Mango Languages (www.mangolanguages.com), Livemocha (livemocha.com) and Voxy (voxy.com).

SciGirls is a cool, science-oriented site where girls can hang out (pbskids.org/scigirls). Rocket21 (rocket21.com) is a safe site where students can learn about careers, take video field trips and work with mentors in careers that interest them.

Gamestar Mechanic (gamestarmechanic.com) and Scratch (scratch.mit.edu) allow kids to build their own computer games. Code Hero teaches programming skills (primerlabs.com/codehero).

Make Beliefs Comix (makebeliefscomix.com) offers drawn characters, dialogue boxes and flexible editing options.

Corcoran likes educator Richard Bryne's site, freetech4teachers.com, which has resources that encourage kids to create media and not just consume it.

"My boys and I talk a lot about what they're doing online," she says. "I'd rather not put a clock on them, but they know that after a half hour of playing games, I may walk in and say, 'How about making your own game to challenge your friends?' And then we're off to Gamestar Mechanic or Code Hero."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My son's teacher told me that his emotional maturity must improve before he enters first grade or, "Jacob will spend all his time with the principal." When he gets frustrated, he throws a tantrum. I'm sick of yelling! Any suggestions?

A: Try techniques Wisconsin family counselor and psychotherapist William Mulcahy shares with parents.

"Don't take frustration as an assault to your parenting skills," says Mulcahy. "As young children grow, they constantly encounter new tasks to accomplish, grow from -- and become frustrated by."

He teaches kids the Frustration Triangle: name it, tame it and reframe it. They learn to cope with frustration in a way that puts them in charge of their thoughts and feelings.

Here's how it works: Draw a triangle and label each point as you go. First ask Jacob to name the cause of frustration.

"This may sound obvious, but naming the source increases children's awareness of their emotional state," says Mulcahy.

Next, tame it with "chill skills" to let go of the frustration. These include deep breathing, counting to 10, playing, listening to music, spending time in nature, progressive relaxation, prayer and meditation.

Third, reframe it by looking at the situation from a different angle. For example: "I can't ride my bike, but my dad will play catch with me."

Mulcahy says as kids become more efficient at reframing, they learn that this, too, will pass.

Tantrums that follow frustrations often necessitate apologies. Mulcahy says learning to apologize should be taught in a positive way.

"They can learn the power of a sincere apology," he says. "It can end conflict without fighting, encourage communication, restore self-respect, increase empathy for receiver and giver, and heal negative feelings such as shame, guilt and anger."

He teaches children a "four square" apology to make something right: Write the four steps on a paper folded in quarters to make it easy to learn them.

First, the child must define what he did to hurt somebody. Allow the child time to get calm and acknowledge what he's done wrong.

Next describe how the person felt. This is where the child should put himself in the other's shoes, says Mulcahy. "It's a step in developing empathy, a critical social-emotional skill," he says.

Third, discuss what the child can do next time. This prepares children to think about future choices they can make in a given situation, rather than have a knee-jerk reaction.

Fourth, talk about how to make it up to the person. "When we hurt others, we take something away," says Mulcahy. This step gets children to think how to give something back.

"We need to help children understand that frustration is a natural emotion and that emotions aren't good or bad," Mulcahy says. "It's what we do with our emotions that matters. These techniques teach kids to feel, identify and deal with their emotions in a healthy way."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: We want to start something this summer to get our middle-school kids ready for the district's rigorous high school service learning program. Many local kids want to volunteer. We just need to help organize them. Where can we find good activities for this age?

A: How great that you're making this effort! Many tweens have informed opinions on serious issues. They want to help, but need guidance on how to make an impact.

Your district's high school program probably makes a distinction between volunteering and service learning. It's important to learn this if part of your goal is to prepare your kids for what is to come. Service-learning experts say volunteering is giving time, talent and resources to help others in need -- all good!

But service-learning programs take volunteering a step beyond. They are designed to get kids to learn about the need they're serving. Kids grow individually and as a team while strengthening the community around them.

For example, your tweens might volunteer to clean a local park, even pruning trees and pulling invasive plants. To turn it into a service learning project, add an educational component, such as researching the long-term impact of invasives, making a proposal on the future care of the park, or publishing a guide on proper tree care.

The YMCA Center for Asset Development has just released a terrific new curriculum to equip youth as change agents in the community: "Seasons of Service: Engaging Youth in Service-Learning Throughout the Year." It's free at theassetedge.net/seasons-of-service.pdf.

The folks at DoSomething.org, an organization for teens dedicated to social change, compiled an interactive workbook for tweens: "Do Something! A Handbook for Young Activists" (Workman, 2010). With action plans and 41 projects that range from disaster relief to bullying prevention, you're sure to find something that will appeal to your kids.

Another book, "How to Be an Everyday Philanthropist" (Workman, 2009), has a practical spin on how to make a difference in the world. It's all about "using what you have, not what you earn," says author Nicole Bouchard Boles. Many of its 330 ideas will appeal to tweens.

When tweens and parents volunteer together, it's the best of all worlds, according to Long Valley, N.J., middle school teacher Matt Marciano. For several years, he has engaged his sixth-grade social studies classes in "Change the World" projects to improve their community. He emphasizes the philosophy of "paying it forward" -- returning good deeds by helping others. His students have created a recycling program, made teddy bears for family shelters, established a pet therapy program in a local nursing home and helped an area homeless family. This past year, parents joined in, allowing students to expand their impact.

Getting tweens to think big about changing the world often starts with small gestures close to home, such as running errands for a sick neighbor.

"I tell students their summer assignment is to perform a random act of kindness every day," says Helena Wright, a Massachusetts middle school counselor. "It helps them be more other-directed and less focused on 'me, me, me.'"

Find ideas at www.randomactsofkindness.org.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)