Q: My daughter is a young teacher in a tough middle school. She's taught for two years. She still loves the kids, but the stress is taking a physical toll. I hate to see her leave a career she's always wanted. The district doesn't have a program to mentor new teachers. Is there anything I can do to help pull her through this?

A: You're doing some of the most important things by providing an ear and perspective. Up to half of new teachers leave within their first five years, according to research by University of Pennsylvania professor Richard M. Ingersoll, Ph.D.

Chances are good that your daughter has gone through the toughest phase. If she can stick it out, the experience will make her more resilient. Most teachers say they only start to get comfortable with what they're doing in the classroom in their third year, explains Jane Close Conoley, Ph.D., dean of the Gevirtz Graduate School of Education at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

Does your district offer structured support? Many do. The University of Miami Support Network for Novice Teachers offers practical advice and mentoring. The American Psychological Association has adapted the network's approach in a module for new teachers on stress management. Check out the APA Teacher Stress Module at www.apa.org/ed/schools/cpse/activities/teacher-stress.aspx.

The lack of a formal program shouldn't deter your daughter from finding the support she needs, says Russell Bourne, Ph.D., president of the Florida Psychological Association's Palm Chapter. "Mentors are where you find them, and that is usually wherever you look," he says. "Often the new teacher is limited to those who know her world of the classroom."

Encourage her to also have conversations about the importance of her work with folks outside of education -- others in the community who value commitment and excellence in our classrooms. Scott Trumley, a New York educator, recalls speaking to a local Rotary Club during his first year on the job. "I was raising money for a field trip," he says. "I told the group of my hopes for these kids and all my frustrations. One member, a judge, said to me afterward, 'Call me after your worst days.' Those talks helped me grow.

"I'm now an assistant principal helping new teachers stay in the profession."

Beyond the advice inherent in those conversations, your daughter will benefit from articulating her thinking. Paraphrasing German novelist Hermann Hesse, Bourne says: "'Everything becomes a little different once it is spoken out loud.' So, maybe the new teacher simply needs to have more conversations with those she trusts."

For any novice, the performance of seasoned colleagues can appear magical, says Bourne. "Remember Malcolm Gladwell's notion of 10,000 hours to perfection? Three years can seem like an eternity if it is all a struggle and full of stress. Advise your daughter to share with others, stay patient with herself, and remain committed to success.

"Remind her that what we are to be, we are always becoming."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Now that my daughter, JoEllen, got into her top college, I thought the paperwork would end. But she gets stuff every day, and she's like, "whatever." Am I a helicopter parent if I just deal with all her mail?

A: Sort her mail now, and you might end up doing her laundry every week of her freshman year. But ignoring the mail isn't an option, either. Texting teens aren't used to the volume of correspondence that comes via email or snail mail upon college acceptance, so you'll have to guide her.

"Once you've sent in your deposit, expect to be bombarded," says Marie Pinak Carr, author of "Sending Your Child to College: The Prepared Parent's Operational Manual" (2011 edition, Dicmar, 2012). "Most will be addressed to your child," she says, "who will probably ignore them, including the tuition bill."

When you help JoEllen prioritize the mail, you're also helping her transition to living independently. Carr suggests sorting out the immediate to-dos. "Don't wait until summer's end to process health, housing (first come, first served), and student orientation forms, plus tuition bills and payment options," she explains.

Model how to organize and respond efficiently. For example, late payments are usually assessed a fee. Show her how to make a "tuition" file: Record the date it was paid and whether it was by check or credit card. Note the receipt of payment. Make files for other key areas, including "health," "housing" and "budget."

Go through the junk mail separately, modeling savvy consumer skills. Show her how to read the fine print on credit card options and "shred unwanted offers, as many guarantee immediate activation," says Carr. "Retailers offer students everything from linens to gift packages and books. Explain that the one-time discount for opening a store charge card can be easily swallowed by fees or interest later on."

Schedule what must happen before JoEllen heads to school. For example, find out when she needs to sign up for courses, where she purchases books and where can she register for intramural teams. If you're driving her to school, make sure you book lodging near campus early.

Does she need insurance for her computer and her smartphone? "Take a photo or video inventory of higher-ticket items. Keep purchase and warranty receipts," advises Carr.

New student orientation is a "must attend," says Carr. "Sometimes this includes placement testing, class registration, and student ID processing."

If parent orientation is offered, enroll! You'll get to meet faculty, ask questions and learn what services those big bucks are buying.

Richard H. Hersh, a former high school teacher and retired college dean, says too many students don't take advantage of everything colleges have to offer. In "We're Losing Our Minds: Rethinking American Higher Education" (Palgrave Macmillan, 2011), Hersh and co-author Richard P. Keeling say that many institutions see themselves as "a kind of bank with intellectual assets that are available to the students," and it's up to the student to discover them.

It's not "helicopter parenting" to identify all the things you're paying for and reminding JoEllen to use them to become a successful student. Your most important role this summer is reinforcing the motivation and work ethic that got her accepted to college in the first place.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My seventh-grade daughter, Neela, worries about everything. She is a terrific student, but nothing is ever good enough. Her teacher says she's too hard on herself and will be happier if she learns to count her blessings. What do you think of that?

A: Be thankful that Neela has a teacher who suggested she learn a key life skill. Exciting research points to ways that gratitude influences our well-being. While religions and philosophies have long embraced the importance of thankfulness, scientists are latecomers to knowing how gratitude benefits our outlook, says University of California-Davis professor Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., author of "Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier" (Mariner, 2008).

Emmons' studies have shown that children who are appreciative have more positive attitudes toward school and their families. He found that young adults who learn to express daily gratitude reported higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy than those who focus on life's hassles.

This all makes sense to Dawn Mahan, a New York middle-school teacher, who says, "I see many students who practice such negative self-talk that I look for ways to help them learn the power of gratitude."

She points out opportunities for students to count their blessings, not their burdens.

Emmons suggests keeping a gratitude journal. "Doing this for as little as three weeks is often enough to create a meaningful difference in one level of happiness," he says. He also suggests writing a gratitude letter to someone we have not properly thanked in the past, and reading it in person.

When it comes to teens, counselor Marissa Gehley, founder of KNOW (Kids Need Our Wisdom) Consulting, says parents must go beyond teaching kids to say thank you. "That's important, but just a first step in the art of being grateful," she advises.

"Suppose Grandma sends Neela a birthday check for her college fund," Gehley says. "She should write (not text!) a thank you note, of course. But the bigger challenge is to help Neela understand why she should appreciate money for college when she was hoping for a gift card to her favorite store. You meet that challenge with conversation: about goals, college, dreams for her future, and how she's fortunate to have a grandmother who is helping her to achieve them. It's not a five-minute chat. When we (BEGIN ITALS)practice(END ITALS) gratitude consistently, it helps kids cement their values."

Kids won't just one day start gratitude lists. "You need to prime the pump as a family," says Gehley. "At the end of each week, think of things that are a cause for thankfulness. Go beyond the obvious.

"For example, when her son didn't get into a high school he had his heart set on, one mother helped him appreciate that it really was an opportunity. His second-choice school had a great art program, something he's passionate about. The very best way parents can raise grateful kids is by modeling the behavior themselves every day."

Teacher Appreciation Week is May 7-11. It's time to show some serious gratitude to Neela's teacher!

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)