When Ocala, Florida, police officers questioned 37-year-old Daniel Robert Dinkins about a nearby burglary on May 13, he responded, "That may have been me." Earlier, officers had been called to a home where someone had thrown a brick through a window where a baby was sleeping inside, then left a book on the front porch. Dinkins said he wanted to swim in the neighbors' backyard pool and "wanted to share the book with them," Ocala News reported. He also told police he was a "time traveler" and was trying to "save the baby from something way in the future when the child is much older." Strangely, Dinkins said he wasn't aware there was a baby sleeping inside. He faces a felony burglary charge. [Ocala News, 5/21/2023]

Government in Action

A central India food inspector, Rajesh Vishwas, lost more than his phone on May 21, NBC News reported. While snapping a vacation selfie at Kherkatta Dam, Vishwas dropped his phone into the water. According to him, his device contained sensitive governmental information, so he ordered the reservoir to be drained. Vishwas said he got permission from R.C. Dhivar, a local water resources official, but Dhivar argued that he'd given permission to drain only 3 or 4 feet of water. Instead, "They had emptied the water up to 10 feet." It took three days to drain the 530,000 gallons of water, but in the end, it was all for naught: Vishwas' phone was unusable. As was he: He was suspended from his job pending an investigation. [NBC News, 5/31/2023]

That Rule Doesn't Apply to Me

An unnamed woman in Tacoma, Washington, was arrested and detained in a negative pressure room at the Pierce County jail on June 1 after refusing for more than a year to get treatment for tuberculosis, KOMO-TV reported. A judge issued 17 orders for her to be involuntarily detained before police caught up with her. "We believe she was trying to avoid being captured," said Sgt. Darren Moss. Officers surveilled her while she was still at home and observed her riding a city bus to a casino. "The health department had asked her to just do it on her own ... now she's going to have to do it in our facility, unfortunately," Moss said. He said TB was once common in the jail, hence the negative pressure rooms, which "isolate the air within the room so it doesn't infect the rest of the rooms within the facility." [KOMO, 6/1/2023]

Rude

New York attorney Anthony Orlich is probably tearing his hair out in the wake of an incident in late May, the New York Post reported. Orlich allegedly snatched the wig off the head of Brooklyn singer Lizzy Ashleigh while walking along a city street at night; Ashleigh captured the aftermath on her cellphone and posted a video to TikTok, which garnered hundreds of thousands of views. In the video, Ashleigh yells at Orlich: "Sir! For what reason did you take my wig off? What makes you think that that's OK?" Orlich refused to apologize, even with his friends encouraging him to. Ashleigh has said she plans to take legal action, but Orlich is already in trouble: His firm, Leader Berkon Colao & Silverstein LLP, has fired him, according to a LinkedIn post. [NY Post, 5/31/2023]

Cheesy

Delaney Irving, 19, of Vancouver Island, British Columbia, said of her May 28 victory in a cheese-rolling contest in Gloucester, England: "It feels great!" That's in spite of the fact that she woke up in the medical tent after taking a fall and hitting her head, The Guardian reported. "I remember running, then bumping my head ... I still don’t really believe it," she said. The contest involves rolling a 7-pound wheel of cheese down the almost-vertical Coopers Hill, and Irving wasn't the only contestant who lost their footing. [The Guardian, 5/29/2023]

Lucky!

A piglet got a second chance at life on May 25, according to KVVU-TV. As Lars Gradel, Rebecca Zajac and her son, Colton, drove along the interstate that day near Las Vegas, they witnessed a baby pig as it was thrown from a truck. "We saw a pig fly out the side of the truck, and he tumbled about 10, 15 times down the side of the freeway," Gradel said. They stopped to rescue the pig, who didn't seem to be hurt. "Lucky," as he was named, was given a new home at the All Friends Animal Sanctuary, where he'll eventually meet fellow porcine Mister Picklesworth. "Now Lucky's going to be wallowing in mud and rooting around in the ground and ... eating watermelon and popsicles in the summer," said sanctuary founder Tara Pike. [KVVU, 5/30/2023]

Fixer-Uppers

-- Looking for a bargain home in Burbank, Oklahoma? "Bargain," as in: more than 17,000 square feet for only $60,000. United Press International reported on May 30 that the former Burbank High School is on the market and listed as a single-family home. The building, constructed in 1924, features five "bedrooms," four bathrooms and an indoor basketball court, along with an auditorium. The school closed in 1968, and conditions are pretty rough inside. "There is plenty of opportunity to make this property your own," the listing promises. [UPI, 5/30/2023]

-- Meanwhile, in Fort Meade, Maryland, high school seniors listed their school building on Zillow as a graduation prank, United Press International reported. They described the 12,000-square-foot school as a "half-working jail": "All 15 bathrooms come with sewage issues ... (and) trash-scented air freshener and water issues!" The listing was removed several hours after appearing, said Bob Mosier, spokesperson for the Anne Arundel County Public Schools. [UPI, 5/26/2023]

Bright Idea

Coffee Smile, a cafe chain in Russia, knows how to milk social media. Owner Maxim Kobelev put up posters in his stores in May that announced plans to start offering human breast milk in their lattes and cappuccinos. Oddity Central reported that Kobelev claimed to have contracted with lactating mothers whose milk is tested for safety. "The child eats just a little," one supplier said in a promotional video, "so I thought, why not earn extra money? I even made coffee with my breast milk for my husband; he liked it." Turns out, it's all an attention-seeking hoax. "There were many of my friends who wanted to try this coffee," Kobelev said. "For them, I prepared a drink with a mixture of goat and almond milk. The taste is very similar -- I know this because, as the father of two children, I also tasted the real thing." [Oddity Central, 5/26/2023]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

At Knott's Berry Farm in Buena Park, California, riders of the Silver Bullet roller coaster were rudely interrupted in their fun on May 26 when one passenger "indicated they wanted to get off the attraction," Fox News reported. The unnamed guest signaled their need to bail right after leaving the station. Operators stopped the ride, and all guests had to be evacuated, the park said, "following standard exit procedure." The roller coaster resumed operation about 30 minutes later. [Fox News, 5/30/2023]

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A visitor at Wonderland amusement park in Toronto, Ontario, was filled with more than wonder as he rode the Leviathan roller coaster on May 16, the Toronto Sun reported. Hubert Hsu of Toronto said as his coaster car neared the top of one of the ride's loops, it collided with a bird -- possibly a pigeon. "I looked down and saw blood on my hands and my face," Hsu said. "There was a feather on my hand, and feathers on the girl next to me's shirt. It seemed like the coaster car hit the bird and then it sort of exploded on us." Hsu said attendants gave them a roll of industrial brown paper towels, and he ended up washing up in a restroom. "The kids who work in the park seemed like they had no idea what to do, and that might be an issue," he added. [Toronto Sun, 5/19/2023]

It's Come to This

Two Louisville, Kentucky, roommates got into a heated dispute at their home on May 20, The Charlotte Observer reported, over an unlikely subject: Hot Pockets. Clifton Williams, 64, was charged with second-degree assault after he allegedly shot the victim. Williams "got mad he ate the last Hot Pocket and began throwing tiles at him," police said. When the victim moved to leave the home, Williams retrieved a firearm and shot the man in the posterior. He remains in the custody of Louisville Metro Corrections. [Charlotte Observer, 5/23/2023]

Clothing Optional

-- After crashing his truck into a Volusia, Florida, utility pole around 2 a.m. on May 21, completely severing it, 39-year-old Kevin Gardner did the obvious thing: He took off all his clothes and started banging on the front door of a home nearby. ClickOrlando reported that when officers arrived at the home, Gardner had injuries on his face and legs. The truck was registered to him, but he said it had been stolen ... and that he'd had seizures and didn't remember anything. A breath test revealed an illegal blood-alcohol content, and Gardner was held on multiple charges. [ClickOrlando, 5/23/2023]

-- In Georgia, residents can now use a digital driver's license, which can be uploaded to Apple Wallet and allows users to leave their IDs in their bag or pocket at TSA checkpoints. But, as United Press International reported, snapping a selfie for the ID comes with a few rules. "Attention, lovely people of the digital era," the Georgia Department of Driver Services posted on its Facebook page on May 23. "Please take pictures with your clothes on when submitting them for your Digital Driver's License and ID. Cheers to technology and keeping things classy!" Put your shirt on. [UPI, 5/25/2023]

You Had One Job

Residents in Halethorpe, Maryland, are frustrated with the progress of a new bridge on U.S. Route 1, WBAL-TV reported. They've been waiting for months for the bridge to fully open, but a tiny error stands in the way. The bridge crosses over CSX railroad tracks, which require a minimum of 23 feet of vertical clearance, and it was built 1 1/2 inches too short. CSX has halted the remaining construction to complete the bridge, according to a Maryland Department of Transportation engineer. "I understand you get hiccups, but ... this is not a hiccup. This is a mistake. Somebody needs to be held accountable and it needs to be taken care of," said resident Desiree Collins. "You have engineers. This should not have happened." The State Highway Administration now estimates completion in late 2023 or early 2024. [WBAL, 5/23/2023]

The Passing Parade

High school seniors in Marlin, Texas, are getting a few extra days of school tacked on, KWTX-TV reported on May 23. The reason: Twenty-eight of the 33 seniors -- about 85% -- were not eligible to graduate, according to an audit performed by the Marlin Independent School District, because they had failed or neglected to complete a course or they had too many absences. The ceremony, originally scheduled for May 25, will take place sometime in June. "They told us that because of the students that didn't meet the requirements, it wouldn't be fair for only five students to walk the stage," said Alondra Alvarado, who is eligible to graduate. Victoria Banda, whose son did not meet the requirements, said they were given very little notice about the change in plans. They had family "traveling in from Mexico" for the original ceremony -- "and if anyone knows, it's not cheap," she said. Administrators hope the extra time will allow the majority of students to meet the state's requirements. [KWTX, 5/23/2023]

Florida

-- When the Brevard (Florida) Public Schools board met on May 9, the topic of dress codes came up, but it went way beyond hoodies and beachwear, ClickOrlando reported. Vice chair Megan Wright told board members that she has heard concerns about students dressing up as "furries" -- people who anthropomorphize animals. District 5 Rep. Katye Campbell weighed in: "I'm not a big fan of the furry movement, but ... if 'ears' means a headband with pointed ears on them, it's a hair accessory. Tails are different, and students meowing and barking at other students -- that's not cool. But that's not dress code." Chairman Matt Susin said his daughter is "tired of furries" at school and the subject comes up at least once a month at his dinner table. Leave it to District 3 Rep. Jennifer Jenkins to cut through the kitty litter: "This is not rocket science ... If you don't want tails on kids, just say you don't want tails." She said among middle school students, the new thing is barking and meowing at each other, unrelated to furry costumes: "It's weird, but they're doing it." [ClickOrlando, 5/11/2023]

-- Omar Gutierrez, 32, of Gainesville, Florida, donned a cat costume before plunging a knife into his roommate's neck on May 22, WCJB-TV reported. When the victim asked why he stabbed him, Gutierrez said, "It was instinctual." Police reported that Gutierrez had told the victim a week earlier that he was "not above killing" him; Gutierrez had claimed that the roommate had hurt his cat, although he denied it. Gutierrez was charged with first-degree attempted murder -- because, you know, he had to plan the costume. [WCJB, 5/24/2023]

News You Can Use

Beer. Need we say more? OK, there's more. Researchers examining paintings from the Dutch Golden Age have discovered that artists preparing their canvases often used discarded material from local breweries, the Associated Press reported. They found traces of yeast, wheat, rye and barley, which would have been spread as a paste over the canvas to prevent the paint from seeping through. Scientists believe the Danish Academy of Fine Arts bought leftover mash from breweries and used it to ready canvases for artists such as Christoffer Wilhelm Eckersberg and Christen Schiellerup Kobke. [AP, 5/24/2023]

Awesome!

Ethan Brown, 16, a junior at Jericho High School on Long Island, New York, is a hero among his classmates this week, the New York Post reported. Brown argued before the school board in March that his highly ranked school had 186 days in session -- six more than the state's required 180 -- and that summer vacation ought to begin on Friday, May 26. "I was nervous, especially at first," Brown said. "I almost sat back down before speaking but I'm glad I didn't." He noted that on a stormy day in February, the school did not close, and not a single snow day was used during the year. Superintendent Hank Grisham said Brown "did an absolutely incredible job. There is no requirement to give ... snow days back to staff or the kids." But the board was moved, and a day off was granted -- dubbed the Ethan Brown Snow Day. "I'm getting a lot of thank-yous," Brown said. In his upcoming senior year, he's in line to take over the editor-in-chief position at the school newspaper. [NY Post, 5/25/2023]

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Not a moment too soon, Oscar Mayer announced on May 17 that it is changing the name of its iconic Wienermobile to the Frankmobile, CNN reported. The company says the name change "pays homage" to its new recipe for hot dogs, which will roll out this summer. Uh-huh. A company spokesperson said the change is a test; they'll have "to see if it cuts the mustard" with fans. The Wienermobile first appeared in 1936; 23 of the eye-catching vehicles now travel around the country. [CNN, 5/17/2023]

Extreme Measures

In vino, vie ... or something like that. Lillian Ip of Cheltenham, Australia, was stranded in the country's remote bushland for five days in late April after she took a wrong turn and became stuck in mud, United Press International reported. Sgt. Martin Torpey of the Wodonga police said Ip had planned just a day trip, "so she had taken a couple of snacks and lollies with her, but no water. The only liquid Lillian, who doesn't drink, had with her was a bottle of wine she had bought as a gift for her mother." Without cell service, Ip couldn't call for help. Her family notified police about her absence, and a four-day search over the region included helicopters. Finally, Ip was spotted waving her arms, and police were directed to her location. "I thought I was going to die there," she said. [UPI, 5/9/2023]

Unclear on the Concept

When cake-baker Brianna Romero of El Paso, Texas, got an order for a birthday cake this spring, she was on board, NBC New York reported on May 10. The customer wanted an emo cake, so Romero put her newly perfected black icing to the test and constructed the confection. Before she delivered it, she said, she asked the client if they wanted a number on the cake. "Yes," the client answered, "it's for my granddaughter and she's turning 4." Romero "thought it was a little bit weird ... but maybe she just likes 'Wednesday' or something like that." Still, wanting to cover her bases, she asked the client for the theme of the party. When she got the answer -- "Sesame Street" -- it all became clear. "I misread emo and it says 'Elmo cake.'" Romero rushed to a local grocery, where the bakery topped the cake with an Elmo image; Romero gave the cake to the client for free. Social media ate the story up, with more than 10 million views on Twitter. [NBC New York, 5/10/2023]

Bright Idea

Students will go to just about any lengths to get out of a test -- even outer space. So it was in Hemlock, Michigan, on May 16, when an enterprising student reported an alien invasion to avoid a math test, according to KTVZ-TV. The student reported that ETs came from the skies in flying saucers and landed on the playground, and the rumors quickly began circulating amongst the student body on social media. But Superintendent Don Killingbeck wasn't having it: "We have thoroughly investigated the situation, and there is no evidence of any alien activity on our school grounds," he said. The prankster has been disciplined, he added. [KTVZ, 5/17/2023]

Cheeky

British IBM IT professional Ian Clifford, 50, has not worked since September 2008 as he battled mental-health issues and stage 4 leukemia, Business Insider reported. Clifford has been on sick leave for 15 years, collecting a salary of almost $68,000 per year after reaching an agreement with IBM in 2013. But in February 2022, Clifford testified in an employment tribunal that he had been treated unfairly because he hadn't had a salary increase since the 2013 agreement went into place. He argued that inflation was causing his income to "wither" and sought a pay raise of 2.5%. "Your mortgage doesn't go down because you are sick," he noted. This spring, Paul Housego, an employment judge, rejected Clifford's argument, saying Clifford was treated more favorably than others because he was being paid without having to work. Clifford plans to appeal. [Business Insider, 5/16/2023]

Field Report

On May 9, officers from Boone County and Watauga County, North Carolina, tried to chase down Joshua Minton, 34, after he was pulled over for reckless driving, CBS News reported. Minton ran into an "undeveloped area," where law enforcement got an unlikely helping ... hoof. Cows in the field "quickly assisted our officers by leading them directly to where the suspect was hiding," police announced in a Facebook post. "The cows communicated with the officers as best they could and finally just had the officers follow them to the suspect's location." Minton was arrested on multiple charges. [CBS News, 5/12/2023]

Precocious

Two brothers in Langkawi, Malaysia, were detained after crashing the car one was driving into a lamp post on May 10, CNN reported. It's not hard to imagine why driving might have been difficult for them: They are 6 and 3 years old. Police Chief Shariman Ashari said the Toyota Vios they were in attracted attention from other drivers, who thought the driver might be intoxicated. The boys sneaked out of their home and took the car, hoping to buy a toy car at the local shops. "Mama is at home and we are going to the store," the 6-year-old said. "We want to buy a black car," the 3-year-old elaborated. The only injury was a cut to one boy's chin. [CNN, 5/10/2023]

Weird Science

Spring weather can be unpredictable, but a man in Ankara, Turkey, got an up-close glimpse of exactly what intense winds can do on May 17, Metro News reported. As Onur Kalmaz looked out his window, trying to check on his car during the storm, he captured on video a sofa flying from a balcony of a 35-story block of apartments nearby. Kalmaz said the sofa crashed into other buildings before falling to the ground. "No one was hurt, but we were pretty scared," he said. [Metro News, 5/18/2023]

The Happiest Place on Earth

Two families went at each other on May 15 at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom, Fox35-TV reported -- all over who could stand next to a sign commemorating the 100th anniversary of the Disney Co. According to police, one family was standing in front of the sign when another group wanted to snap a photo. When the second group asked the first to step aside, punches were thrown. At least one person was treated for injuries at the site, but they didn't want to press charges. Two people were removed from the park. [Fox35, 5/16/2023]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

When a 36-year-old woman in Providence, Rhode Island, couldn't afford conventional dental care for her painful teeth, a friend recommended "Yorki," WPRI-TV reported on May 18. The woman contacted Altagracia Yorquis Adames, 57, and went to her home basement "dental practice." There, Yorki allegedly removed instruments from a dresser drawer -- some that were visibly rusty -- then numbed the victim's molar and pulled on it until it came out. She then numbed and drilled on the patient's front teeth. Later that night, when her pain worsened, she texted with Yorki, who told her to take painkillers and ice her mouth. The next day, the victim checked into a hospital and was told she was "very sick." Police said Yorki was a licensed dentist in the Dominican Republic but not licensed in Rhode Island; she is due back in court in August. [WPRI, 5/18/2023]

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