Some romantic relationships are full of drama and strife, so maybe Sandra, 28, of Budapest, Hungary, has come up with a better model. According to Oddity Central, Sandra has fallen for Luffancs, a plastic model of an airplane. After breaking up with her latest human boyfriend in January, Sandra bought Luffancs for $660 and fell madly in love. "I don't know why I love him, I just love him," she said. Sandra works in the aviation industry and is around airplanes every day, but says she will never cheat on Luffancs. In fact, she doesn't know if she'll ever date another human being. "Planes are more reliable as partners," she said. [Oddity Central, 3/10/2022]

Unclear on the Concept

When Bshar Ahmed, 30, of Youngstown, Ohio, was arrested on March 7, he told police that he was selling marijuana from the gas station where he was working the midnight shift because he just got out of prison and he needs the money, WKBN-TV reported. The owner of the station called officers about Ahmed and produced a bag, which Ahmed admitted was his, that contained bags of weed and a loaded .38-caliber semiautomatic handgun, along with suspected methamphetamine, crack cocaine, indeterminate pills and over $1,000 in cash. Ahmed's previous convictions bar him from possessing a firearm. [WKBN, 3/8/2022]

The Neighbors

When ya gotta go ... At 4:40 p.m. on March 4, Kenneth Clark Carlyle, 64, walked up his neighbor's driveway in his birthday suit and relieved himself, No. 2 style, on the neighbor's glass patio table, The Smoking Gun reported. The whole thing was caught on not one, but two "separate angles of the victim's home security video footage," the police report noted. Clearwater, Florida, officers arrived at Carlyle's RV camper, where they spoke to him "through the door ... and he was still visibly naked and highly uncooperative." The bond on this incident is $250, but he was already in trouble from a December infraction, so he remains in the pokey. [Smoking Gun, 3/7/2022]

Unexpected Trip

Three Michigan men ice fishing in a homemade shanty on Saginaw Bay on March 6 went for the ride of their lives as winds nearing 50 mph pushed their structure about a mile across the ice, the Associated Press reported. The men had spent the night before in the shanty and were aware that a storm was approaching, but thought they could ride it out. But the next morning, someone onshore saw one of them struggling with the hut as it scooted over the ice. It eventually ended up about 1.5 miles offshore before deputies arrived; the men were able to return to shore without rescue equipment and were unharmed. [Associated Press, 3/7/2022]

Surprise!

As construction crews worked to remodel the Henry J. Kaiser Convention Center in Oakland, California, on March 9, they made an alarming discovery, NBC News reported. The building, which has been out of use since 2005, was the final resting place for "an unidentified, decayed body," said Lt. Ray Kelly of the Alameda County Sheriff's Office. "We found remains best described as mummified," he said. "The conditions in the walls were such that the body was preserved in good condition." He said authorities will obtain fingerprints to try to identify the deceased. "Any theory is possible," Kelly said, "... from someone who got in behind the wall and became trapped ... to someone put the person there." [NBC News, 3/10/2022]

It's a Head-Scratcher

On March 3 in a quiet Denver neighborhood, someone broke into a box truck parked along a street and stole a box marked "Science Care," KDVR-TV reported. Inside the box were a number of human heads that were being transported for use in medical research. The thieves also stole a dolly. Isaac Fields, who lives nearby, was perplexed: Why was the truck parked in his neighborhood? Where was the driver? Why would someone steal human remains? Police wouldn't provide many details because the case is still open. [KDVR, 3/5/2022]

Creepy

Yes, this item is about clowns. Or at least circuses. Or circus train cars. In Nash County, North Carolina, nine railroad cars from the 1960s Barnum & Bailey circus that had been abandoned in the woods caught fire on March 10, WRAL-TV reported. The cars were just outside the city limits of Spring Hope, where they were stored after the North Carolina Department of Transportation bought them in 2017, hoping to refurbish them for passenger service. Later they were put up for auction, but more recently the cars were a popular destination for urban explorers and people seeking shelter. At least four of the cars appeared to be badly damaged by the fire; the cause of the blaze is under investigation. [WRAL, 3/10/2022]

People With Issues

Prosecutors have accused 20-year-old Mauricio Damian Guerrero of Bensalem, Pennsylvania, of burglary after he traveled to Somersworth, New Hampshire, and hid in the attic of a woman he had met on the website OnlyFans, WKBN-TV reported on March 7. Guerrero allegedly descended from the attic to take video of the woman while she was sleeping, stole some of her underwear, and planned to place a tracking device on her car. Police were called after someone at the home heard a noise; Guerrero was found on the roof of the home. He was released on bail and ordered to wear a tracking device. [WKBN, 3/7/2022]

Ewwwww

U.S. Customs and Border Protections agents probably rarely having a boring day, but between Feb. 19 and 25, officers in Philadelphia came across some particularly skin-crawly cargo: about 300 leeches from Bulgaria, NBC New York reported. The medicinal leeches, which arrived in jars distributed among six separate air cargo shipments, were headed for Connecticut, Florida and Illinois, but they'll never make it: That type of leech, the Hirudo medicinalis, is a protected species and can't be traded internationally. Instead, they were turned over to federal wildlife agents. [NBC New York, 3/10/2022]

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Dot Grant, 52, attended the musical "Bat Out of Hell" with her family at the Edinburgh Playhouse in Scotland in February, Edinburgh Live reported. It was a real treat, as it was her first theater visit since the pandemic began two years earlier. But as Dot tapped her thigh and sang along quietly under her mask, one of the ushers "flashed their torch" at her before the intermission. Dot couldn't figure out why: "I did not think I was doing anything wrong." As the performance continued in the second half, a security worker motioned for Dot to come to the aisle, and she was removed from the theater and told she was "at a musical theater show, not a concert." "I was surrounded by eight men, which made me feel very uncomfortable and uneasy," Dot said. "People had been complaining about my actions of singing and dancing in my seat, that it was a distraction and off-putting for the cast. I waved my hands a few times, but I didn't think that was wrong." The theater said that audience participation "had never been encouraged." [Edinburgh Live, 2/23/2022]

Least Competent Criminal

U.S. border agents at the San Ysidro crossing in California stopped a 30-year-old man driving a truck on Feb. 25 as he attempted to cross from Mexico, the Associated Press reported on March 8. Agents found 52 live reptiles tied up in small bags -- not so weird, except they were "concealed in the man's jacket, pants pockets, and groin area," CBP said in a statement. Nine snakes and 43 horned lizards were seized. Some species were endangered. The driver was a U.S. citizen. [AP, 3/8/2022]

Omni, a plant-based pet food company in Britain, is offering a lucky(?) few dog owners more than $6,000 to "record their experience of introducing their dog to a plant-based diet, monitoring their bowel movements, stool odor, health, energy levels, behavior, sleep pattern and physical attributes, such as weight, skin and fur condition" over a period of two months, according to the company's website. Omni will provide a free supply of its pet food for the gig and will cover the cost of visits to a pet nutritionist, who will oversee the pets' transition to plant-based food. Those dog owners who successfully complete the poop-monitoring period will earn the aforementioned cash for their work, while their dogs will receive a supply of dog toys and vegan treats. Applications will be accepted on Omni's website through March 31. [People.com, 2/25/2022]

Check, Please!

Michael Spressler, 58, of Brick, New Jersey, thought he had broken a tooth when he bit into a raw clam and felt something hard in his mouth during a Presidents Day weekend visit to his favorite Jersey Shore seafood restaurant, The Lobster House. “I thought one of my molars cracked,” Spressler told NJ Advance Media. But instead of one of his own pearly whites, Spressler found a perfectly round white pearl. “I’ve been eating clams all my life. This is the first time this ever happened to me,” Spressler said. Indeed, the odds of finding a pearl in a clam are said to be roughly 1 in 10,000, and The Pearl Source website says the little gem, which Spressler's wife, Maria, would like to have set in a piece of jewelry, could be worth anywhere from $50 to $100,000. [NJ.com, 3/1/2022]

Golden Ticket

On Oct. 26, 1984, Northwestern student Michael Cole attended a basketball game alone, having been unable to find a friend to use the extra ticket he had purchased for $8.50. Thirty-eight years later, on Feb. 27, Cole, now 55, watched that spare ticket, which he had held onto as a keepsake, sell for $468,000 at auction. What was so special about the ticket? It just happens to be the only known intact ticket from Michael Jordan's debut game with the Chicago Bulls. Cole, whose 2012 Kia Sorento died just one week before the auction ended, said he plans to use some of his earnings to replace it with "a sensible used car." [NBC5 Chicago, 2/28/2022]

A Little Faith in Humanity

Perhaps it's a sad critique of the world we live in when a story like the following is classified as "weird" -- but greed abounds in this modern age, so when an act of kindness rises above the usual dreck, it is weird news indeed. Eduardo Martinez of Honduras, who works near Broadway in New York, probably expected a more typical ending to his story: On March 2, as he rushed to get to work through jam-packed Times Square, Martinez dropped his wallet. Losing his IDs and personal effects would have been devastating enough, but Martinez also had $4,000 in cash inside his billfold. As he waded through the crowd of tourists and searched the ground, two police officers approached and informed him that the wallet had been picked up by a fellow commuter and turned over safe and sound -- with all $4,000 intact. Here's to happy endings! [UPI.com, 3/3/2022]

Animal Adventures

-- The Lang family of Whidbey Island Station in Washington owns five horses, but on the morning of March 2, only four could be found. The family began a search and discovered that Blaze, the missing horse, was in deep trouble -- 15 feet deep, to be precise. The horse had broken through a barrier around 10 a.m. and fallen down a concrete well. Rescue workers from the Whidbey Island Naval Air Station dropped in and sedated the horse, and North Whidbey and Central Whidbey Fire & Rescue crews were able to get a harness around Blaze and lift all 2,000 pounds of equine out of the hole using an excavator from a neighbor's farm. Blaze received an IV and was treated for a few minor cuts, but otherwise was unhurt in the incident. "If he had gone down any other way, he wouldn't be alive," owner Karl Lang told KING-TV 5. "Luckily he went down heinie first." [KING-TV 5, 3/3/2022]

-- A 15-year-old poodle named Snowball has been reunited with his owner, Kathy, of Norfolk, Virginia. What kept the two apart? Only about five years and more than 900 miles. Snowball, who arrived recently at the Cape Coral Animal Shelter in Florida with matted fur, infected eyes and ears and severe dehydration, had gone missing from Kathy's home in Norfolk some five years ago. But thanks to the microchip Kathy had implanted in her bestie, the poodle was quickly identified, and Kathy booked a flight shortly after receiving a call from the shelter. Fox 4 Southwest Florida reports that Snowball's eyes have been treated, his vaccinations have been updated, and his new health certificate will allow him to fly home with Kathy. [Fox 4, 2/28/2022]

Did Somebody Say "Shot"?

On Feb. 27, the Smoking Gun reported, Christina Blair, 33, of Albuquerque, New Mexico, began honking her horn and yelling obscenities at Gabriel Chavez while the two drove their cars on an Albuquerque road. Blair told police she had become enraged upon seeing Chavez's "Vaccinated" bumper sticker. After Blair hit Chavez's car with an object (later revealed to be a water bottle) at a red light, Chavez accidentally backed into Blair's car. The two pulled into a Walgreen's parking lot, where Chavez expected to exchange insurance information; instead, Blair pulled a handgun from her car and racked the weapon. Chavez called 911, and police were able to use Chavez's cellphone video to acquire Blair's license plate info and track it to her residence. Blair was taken into custody and booked on a count of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. [Smoking Gun, 3/2/2022]

Two-Drink Minimum

The buggy-drifting skills of Ray Byler, 20, of Sigel, Pennsylvania, sound impressive; his alcohol tolerance, not so much. Byler was charged with a misdemeanor for driving under the influence and also was cited for careless and reckless driving. Police began following the Amish buggy he was driving and watched as Byler sped up at a turn and locked the brakes, sending sparks flying. According to Trib Live, when Byler pulled over to let the officers pass and they asked if he was OK, Byler's response was slurred, and he smelled of alcohol. When asked if he'd been drinking, Byler told the officers he'd had "a couple of beers." Byler was allowed to stand by his agitated horse's side after the field sobriety test; police said he refused to take the blood draw test at the hospital. [TribLive.com, 2/24/2022]

Hanging Tough

Looking to add some intensity to your workout routine? You could always take your inspiration from Roman Sahradyan's latest Guinness World Record. All you need is excellent pull-up technique, 60 seconds ... and a helicopter. As reported by India Today, Sahradyan posted a video last October that went viral: In it, the Armenian performed 23 pull-ups in one minute, all while hanging from the landing skid of a helicopter floating several feet off the ground. The achievement earned Sahradyan an official Guinness World Record for the "most pull-ups from a helicopter in one minute," and the Instagram video posted by Guinness World Records has tallied more than 125,000 likes. One commentor gave a shout-out to the unsung hero of the video: "The real record is for the pilot for not crashing the helicopter." [India Today, 2/25/2022]

Robin Folsom, 43, the former director of external affairs for the Georgia Vocational Rehabilitation Agency, was indicted on Feb. 10 for faking multiple pregnancies in order to get paid leave from her position, The Washington Post reported. Folsom reported her latest pregnancy to human resources in October 2020 and allegedly gave birth in May 2021. The "father" of the newborn, Bran Otmembebwe, emailed her bosses and said her doctor had called for seven weeks of leave following the birth, which she ordinarily would not have received. Pictures that Folsom shared with co-workers were found to be "inconsistent and depicted children with varying skin tones," the inspector general's report said. Co-workers also noticed that her baby bump seemed to be detached from her body. In addition, "a review of medical and insurance records found no indication that Folsom had ever delivered a child." Folsom resigned after an October 2021 interview with investigators and is due back in court in April. [Washington Post, 2/18/2022]

Going to Extremes

It was sooooo cold in Beijing during the men's 50km cross-country skiing event. How cold was it, you ask? It was so cold (1.4 degrees Fahrenheit) that Finland's Remi Lindholm, who spent an hour and 16 minutes covering the course, suffered some painful frostbite to an unspeakably delicate body part that was not insulated enough by his thin suit and underlayer, The Guardian reported. Yes, that one. He endured a similar setback in Ruka, Finland, last year. Lindholm said he used a heat pack to thaw out the "appendage" after the Feb. 19 race but "the pain was unbearable. ... It was one of the worst competitions I've been in." [The Guardian, 2/20/2022]

Police Report

Former Chadbourn (North Carolina) Police Chief Anthony Spivey, 36, was taken into custody in Conway, South Carolina, on Feb. 24, ending nearly a year of magnificent flouting of the law, WECT-TV reported. It all started in April 2021, when Spivey was charged with more than 70 offenses, mostly related to repeatedly raiding the department's evidence room and stealing narcotics, cash and firearms. In June, he allegedly embezzled $8,000 meant for a family whose son was battling leukemia. North Carolina Wildlife officers contacted the Columbus County Sheriff's Office on Feb. 21 about a boat and truck that belonged to Spivey that were found along the Lumber River. Family members told officers the scene might indicate a suicide, and investigators searched the waters and wooded areas nearby for three days. But as the investigation continued, "it became even more apparent that the scene on the river was staged," they said. He was finally located at his aunt's apartment in Loris, South Carolina. His total bond is set at $1 million. [WECT, 2/24/2022]

It's Nice To Have a Hobby

People have discovered all sorts of pastimes during COVID-19 lockdowns, and Tom Quirk, 36, is no exception, as Metro News reported on Feb. 23. Quirk, of the Forest of Dean in the United Kingdom, treated himself to a new Shark vacuum a couple of years ago and quickly realized that he could make great art with it. For example, Quirk made a stunningly realistic portrait of Donald Trump in his living room rug, a frightening likeness of Jack Nicholson from "The Shining" ("Here's Johnny!") and a pretty good image of Slash. "You have to hoover the rug all over in just one direction first so it gives you an all over light image," Quirk said. "Then I remove the hose and add the thin attachment to the end and drag the long fibers the opposite direction to get the shadows of faces. It normally takes about 15 to 20 minutes, which isn't bad considering it took Leonardo da Vinci four years to do the 'Mona Lisa.'" [Metro News, 2/23/2022]

Questionable Judgments

-- Welcome to Texas, where Sarah Stogner, 37, is running for railroad commissioner against Wayne Christian. Christian has amassed a war chest of $766,000, and Stogner is apparently willing to bare all to win the contest, Canoe reported on Feb. 23: "I have other assets," she said. To prove it, Stogner posted a 5-second TikTok video of herself wearing only cowboy boots and hat and straddling an oil pumping jack as "Apache" by the Sugarhill Gang played. Unfortunately for her, the stunt may not have worked: She lost the endorsement of the San Antonio Express-News and rankled some religious conservative supporters. "I knew it would be controversial," Stogner said. "I didn't realize it would incite the rage and anger that it did from the press." [Canoe, 2/23/2022]

-- An unnamed 22-year-old student at Brigham Young University in Utah was busily trying to make 5 pounds of rocket fuel on Feb. 20 in his dorm kitchen when the mixture exploded, People reported. Flames "engulfed the walls and ceiling around the stove, and the intense heat tripped the fire sprinkler system," BYU police said in a statement. Although no one was injured, 22 students were relocated while cleanup and repairs were undertaken. Lt. Jeff Long said the student was trying to re-create something he saw online. "He didn't think this through," Long said. Which is basically a subhead for every article about a college student. [People, 2/22/2022]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

What you've been waiting for: cologne for your dog. Yes indeed, none other than the queen of England has released Happy Hounds Dog Cologne, a unisex scent for pups that smells of "coastal walks" and features a "rich, musky scent with citrus notes of bergamot," Canoe reported. Dog owners can purchase the pooch perfume at Sandringham House, the monarch's estate in Norfolk, England, for 9.99 English pounds. Queen Elizabeth II, 95, is a big fan of corgis and has had pet dogs since she was 18 years old. [Canoe, 2/16/2022]

News You Can Use

Toddler Locklan Samples of Roswell, Georgia, looks "like a little rock star" with his nearly white hair that stands straight out from his head, People reported on Feb. 23. But it was only by chance that his mom, Katelyn, discovered what causes Lock's unusual locks: uncombable hair syndrome. After hearing about the syndrome, the Samples visited a specialist at Emory Hospital, who said she's only seen one case in 19 years. But after tests, they confirmed that Lock had the condition, which causes hair to grow with a soft and very breakable texture. Katelyn said she rarely has to wash his hair, because it doesn't get greasy, and she hardly brushes it because it's so fragile. "I just try ... not to mess with it unless I have to. It brings a smile to people's faces," she said. [People, 2/23/2022]

Credit Where Credit's Due

The Henry County (Virginia) Sheriff's Office has offered kudos to a local resident who helped track down a person they were chasing on Feb. 13, the Martinsville Bulletin reported on Feb. 21. Capt. Scott Barker explained that Deputy David Parnell was trying to arrest a suspect for domestic assault when the suspect fled on foot, and Parnell gave chase. "A goat from the property joined Deputy Parnell," Barker said, and chased the man into the woods. Another deputy on the other side of the woods and the goat then flushed the suspect out of the woods, and Parnell took him into custody. Barker could not say if any official commendation would be offered to the goat. [Martinsville Bulletin, 2/21/2022]