The World Toe Wrestling Federation has announced that the 2021 championship matches will go ahead in August in Derbyshire, England (what a relief!) and organizers are looking for people who want to dip their toes in the water of pro competition. Toe wrestling, The Northern Echo reported, takes place sitting down and barefoot, with the competitors' toes linked. But matches are no tiptoe through the tulips: Ben "Total Destruction" Woodroffe, who is ranked second in the world (and had his toenails surgically removed to give him a competitive edge), had his ankle snapped in two places by 16-time champion Alan "Nasty" Nash -- during a practice session. "It's a people's sport; there are no levels or qualifiers, and anyone can join," Woodroffe said encouragingly. [The Northern Echo, 4/24/2021]

Oops

-- A stone marking the border between Belgium and France dates back to 1819, but its provenance was no deterrent for a Belgian farmer who became annoyed that it was placed right where he needed to drive his tractor. The BBC reported that the farmer relocated the stone about 7.5 feet into French territory -- a move that has tickled officials on both sides. "I was happy, my town was bigger," said David Lavaux, the mayor of Erquelinnes in Belgium. "But the mayor of Bousignies-sur-Roc didn't agree." The farmer will be asked to move the stone back; "If he shows good will, he won't have a problem, we will settle this issue amicably," Lavaux said. Otherwise, he may face criminal charges. [BBC, 5/4/2021]

-- Kevin Johnson was arrested in Maricopa County, Arizona, after he left behind an obvious bit of evidence when he slashed two of his neighbor's tires, the Maricopa Monitor reported. Francesca Wikoff found her flat tires on April 15, along with a severed finger lying on the driveway, and police said a trail of blood led to a nearby home. The night before, Johnson had allegedly become drunk and belligerent at a neighborhood get-together, where he shoved and threatened Wikoff and her husband before being asked to leave. He was charged with criminal damage and assault, along with other offenses. [Maricopa Monitor, 4/24/2021]

Goals

A police officer in Leicestershire, England, finally got his wish, to "tick off a water-based pursuit in landlocked Leicester," on April 28. The 37-year-old perp was wanted for suspicion of assault and breaching a restraining order, Leicestershire Live reported. Police located his narrowboat, which has a top speed of 4 mph, on the Grand Union Canal, and one officer rode his bike alongside the boat for 8 miles as others waited for it at Lock 37. "The suspect was arrested as he left the boat to travel through a lock," a spokesperson said. [Leicestershire Live, 4/29/2021]

The Birds

There may be just 500 California condors left in the world, but about 20 of them are meeting up at the home of Cinda Mickols in Tehachapi, California. Mickols' daughter, Seana Quintero, said the imposing birds showed up at the beginning of May, the Associated Press reported, and have trashed her mother's deck. They've knocked over plants, scratched railings and ruined a spa cover and decorative flags. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service suggested "harmless hazing" methods to disperse the protected birds, such as shouting and clapping, or spraying water. [Associated Press, 5/6/2021]

The Way the World Works

Matt Perkins and his husband were in the midst of having a pool installed in the backyard of their new home in Las Vegas when police and crime scene investigators showed up on April 26. The pool builders had unearthed some bones buried about 5 feet below the surface, the Associated Press reported. The bones turned out not to be human; they are those of a horse or other large mammal. More important, they are not recent: Nevada Science Center Research Director Joshua Bonde said they're between 6,000 and 14,000 years old, dating to Earth's most recent Ice Age. The area was once a watering spot for wildlife in the Mohave Desert. Bonde said U.S. laws give ownership of fossils to property owners; Perkins is deciding how best to preserve the antiquities. [Associated Press, 4/28/2021]

The Weirdo-American Community

In rural Moffat, Colorado, the body of 45-year-old Amy Carlson, known as Mother God by the spiritual group Love Has Won, was found dead and mummified on April 28. Her body was wrapped in a sleeping bag and decorated with Christmas lights, Fox News reported. One of Carlson's followers told police that he took in a group of people who he believes transported her body from California to his home. Saguache County Coroner Tom Perrin told police he believes Carlson died about four weeks ago. Seven people were arrested in connection with the case; they were also charged with child abuse, as two minors were found in the home. [Fox News, 5/5/2021]

Bright Idea

Here's one way to keep your neighbors at a distance: Build a wall made of cow dung. In Lodi Township, Michigan, one farmer did just that, constructing a 250-foot-long wall of manure after disputing a property line with Wayne Lambarth. The wall generates an unpleasant stench, Lambarth told Fox News, but the anonymous farmer who built it denies it's a "poop wall." "It's a compost fence," he said. Officials in the area have said nothing can be done about it because it is on private property. [Fox News, 5/4/2021]

Read the Label

Michigander Yacedrah Williams got into sticky trouble in late April when she mistook a bottle of nail glue for eye drops, Fox News reported. Williams fell asleep with her contact lenses in, and when she woke up, she wanted to take them out. She reached into her purse for eye drops but grabbed the nail glue she uses to fix broken fingernails -- and immediately recognized her mistake. "I was trying to pull my eyes apart, but I couldn't," Williams said. Her husband rushed her to the ER, where doctors opened her eyes and removed her contacts -- which they believe saved her vision. She did lose her eyelashes, though. Dr. George Williams noted, "If it's any comfort to her, she's not the first person to make this mistake." [Fox News, 4/23/2021]

Awesome!

Traffic outside a school in China's Henan province was so bad that one student's mother, Ms. Meng, spent $154,000 having two footbridges built over the road so that kids could cross safely. In addition, the school is located on lower ground, and students had to walk through puddles outside the building. "The water will spill over the stairs where schoolchildren stand to wait for their parents like little birds," Meng said, according to Oddity Central. "My child's feet turned white because they were soaking in water." Meng did not tell her son that she funded the footbridges. "I just did what I can afford to do. You can't take money with you after death." [Oddity Central, 5/5/2021]

Perspective

Madison Kohout, 19, moved from Oklahoma to Piggott, Arkansas, in March to be nearer to a family she had become close with. She found an apartment and signed a lease after sundown, with the landlord telling her she could move in that evening if she'd like: "No one's going to hear anything. They can't really hear very well." About a week later, she noticed a sign outside the complex that said "Senior Living Apartments." "I realized I moved myself into a retirement community," Kohout told The New York Times. "I can't believe I did this." However, in the spirit of lemons and lemonade, Kohout is making the best of it. "It's like having extra sets of grandparents," she said. [New York Times, 5/3/2021]

-- In Taiwan, where companies are required to give newlyweds eight days of paid leave, an unnamed bank employee in Taipei used a loophole in the law to claim 32 days of leave over 37 days last year, reported Agence France-Presse on April 21. The man and his wife got married four times and divorced three times, claiming eight days of leave for each wedding. The bank complained to the city labor department, which sided with the employee and fined the bank about $670 for violating the regulation, sparking public criticism. The labor department later revoked the fine "to recognize a mistake and improve," it said. [AFP via France24, 4/21/2021]

-- An unnamed civil servant in Italy is accused of collecting full pay at his job at Ciaccio hospital in Catanzaro since 2005 even though he never showed up for work. The man is also accused of threatening his supervisor if she filed a report against him; she later retired and none of her successors noticed his absence. The BBC reported authorities discovered the alleged fraud as part of a wider investigation into absenteeism in Italy's public sector, and six managers at the hospital are also under investigation. The truant worker reportedly collected about $650,000 over the years. [BBC, 4/21/2021]

Fine Points of the Law

Caron McBride, 52, applied to the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles to change her name on her driver's license after getting married in November, and was told to call the Cleveland County District Attorney's office in Oklahoma, where she learned she was wanted there on a charge of felony embezzlement for failing to return a VHS tape of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" to a Norman video store in 1999. "I thought, this is insane," McBride said, but prosecutors accused her of "willfully, unlawfully and feloniously embezzle(ing)" the tape, valued at $58.59, according to court documents. The Washington Post reported McBride had no memory of renting the tape, but guessed the man she lived with at the time must have gotten it for his two young daughters. On April 23, prosecuters in Norman said they would drop the charge and expunge McBride's record. [Washington Post, 4/26/2021]

Jungle Justice

A man suspected of poaching rhinos in South Africa's Kruger National Park was trampled to death by a herd of elephants on April 17, according to park authorities. Managing Executive Gareth Coleman praised the park's "successful weekend in the fight to keep our rhinos alive" as rangers arrested five suspects, carrying hunting rifles and an ax, in a continuing crackdown on poaching, reported The Washington Post. (BONUS: A skull and a pair of pants were all that remained of a suspected poacher killed by an elephant and eaten by lions in the park in 2019.) [Washington Post, 4/20/2021]

Awesome!

Police in the Hradec Kralove region of the Czech Republic were stunned when a man turned in a Soviet T-34 tank and an SD-100 artillery gun as part of a nationwide weapons amnesty program designed to legalize guns that had not been registered. Prague Morning reported on April 10 that the man was a collector of historic weaponry and has owned the 1950s-era tank, which had been painted pink, since the 1990s. Authorities checked the tank and gun to confirm they have been properly deactivated, and the man was allowed to keep them in his collection. The amnesty campaign continues until July. [Prague Morning, 4/10/2021]

Creme de la Weird

Anna Marie Choudhary, 33, of Boone, North Carolina, was sentenced March 31 in West Virginia to 40 years in prison after pleading guilty to second-degree murder, ending a case McDowell County Assistant Prosecuting Attorney Dennie Morgan called the "craziest" his office has ever seen. Choudhary had been arrested, along with her father, Larry Paul McClure Sr., 55, of Pendleton, Kentucky, and her sister, Amanda Michelle Naylor McClure, 31, of Chicago City, Minnesota, in connection with the 2019 murder of John Thomas McGuire, 38, boyfriend of Amanda McClure, reported the Watauga Democrat. According to Morgan, McClure and his daughters "tortured" and killed McGuire on Valentine's Day 2019 and buried his body. Later, convinced McGuire was still alive, they exhumed the body and drove a stake through it before dismembering and reburying it. Larry and Amanda McClure then went to Virginia, where they were married, Morgan said. Larry McClure confessed to the murder after being arrested in Kentucky on unrelated charges. He pleaded guilty to first-degree murder and was sentenced to life without mercy. Amanda McClure pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and was sentenced to 40 years. [Watauga Democrat, 4/13/2021]

Opportunity Knocked

Kelyn Spadoni, 33, of Harvey, Louisiana, was fired from her job as a dispatcher for the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office after she was arrested on April 7 and accused of refusing to return more than $1.2 million mistakenly deposited in her brokerage account by Charles Schwab & Co., said sheriff's office spokesman Capt. Jason Rivarde. According to a lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in New Orleans, Schwab meant to transfer $82.56 into Spadoni's account in February, but instead transferred $1,205,619; when Schwab tried to correct the error the next day, it was told the funds were not available. NOLA.com reported Spadoni is suspected of moving the money and using some of it to buy a new house and an SUV, but authorities have been able to recover about 75% of the money, according to Rivarde. [NOLA.com, 4/9/2021]

Canine Chronicles

-- Newsweek reported a dog lover in Hobbs, New Mexico, who identifies himself as girthbrooks1994 on TikTok, couldn't figure out why the English bulldog he'd been given didn't respond to any of the commands he gave it until he tried something different -- Spanish. Now named Senor Snax, the dog is shown on posted videos readily obeying commands such as "dame la mano" and "sientate" ("give me your hand" and "sit down"). "He's a bien boy and very spoiled," says the proud owner. [Newsweek, 4/26/2021]

-- The Edmonton Fire Rescue Service in Alberta, Canada, was called out on April 20 by reports of a dog driving a car down Guardian Road, United Press International reported. Firefighters determined the dog had been left alone in the car and accidentally shifted it into neutral, allowing it to roll along the road. They were able to stop the car and rescue the dog without incident. [United Press International, 4/21/2021]

Tribute

John Hinkle, 39, a two-time NCAA bowling champion for Western Illinois University, shot a perfect 300 game on April 12 at Landmark Lanes in Peoria, using a ball containing his father's ashes. Because he bowls with two hands, Hinkle said he is allowed only two holes in his bowling ball, so he had the thumb hole filled with some of his father's ashes after the elder Hinkle, who introduced him to the sport, died in 2016, United Press International reported. "I had tears in my eyes in the 11th and 12th frames. I couldn't tell you where that last ball went," Hinkle said. "He was there." [United Press International, 4/21/2021]

Police in Naples, Florida, are looking for a woman identified only as "Rosalia," a self-described witch who is suspected of swindling more than $100,000 from at least 10 victims. Authorities were first alerted to the scam on March 14 when a man called to report that Rosalia had disappeared with $29,500 of his money, according to a police report. The man said he had responded to a flyer advertising Rosalia's "witchcraft services," WBBH-TV reported. She allegedly told the man she saw something "dark" in his future and gave him three eggs to put under his bed as he slept. When he brought them back the next day, she waved the eggs over his head and face, then opened them to reveal one filled with blood, one with needles and a third with worms, according to the report. She instructed the man to bring her all the money he had so she could bless it and multiply it at her temple in Fort Myers, promising to return it the next day, police said, but Rosalia hasn't been seen since. Police have identified more victims in the course of their ongoing investigation. [WBBH-TV, 4/19/2021]

Sign of the Times

A family-owned patisserie in Veresegyhaz, Hungary, is offering its customers sweet relief from COVID-19 angst with colorful layered mousses, each topped with a decorative syringe. The Sulyan family's special desserts are colored with jelly toppings representing the different COVID-19 vaccinations available in Hungary: citrus yellow for AstraZeneca, darker yellow for Sinopharm, green for Pfizer, orange for Sputnik V and blue for Moderna, Reuters reported. "Anyone can try these," said confectioner Katalin Benko, and "the only possible side effect would be a little smile on their face." [Reuters, 4/19/2021]

Going Out in Style

Mourners at Phil McLean's funeral in Wellington, New Zealand, first gasped, then laughed as his coffin, shaped like a giant cream doughnut, was brought into the chapel, the Associated Press reported on April 15. McLean had designed the special coffin with his cousin, Ross Hall, owner of Dying Art, a business in Auckland specializing in custom coffins. Over the last 15 years, Hall has fashioned a sailboat, a firetruck, a chocolate bar and Legos, among others. McLean's widow, Debra, said her husband had considered himself a connoisseur of cream doughnuts, and the coffin "overshadowed the sadness. ... The final memory in everyone's mind was of that doughnut and Phil's sense of humor." For himself, Hall said he had planned a red box with flames on it, but he changed his mind to a clear coffin, with him wearing nothing but a leopard-patterned G-string. "The kids say they're not going," he said. [Associated Press, 4/15/2021]

People With Issues

Edward and Cheryl Patton of Lake View, New York, tried for three years to identify who was throwing used paper coffee cups -- some with cigarette butts inside -- on their front yard nearly every night, but they could never get a good look at the minivan as it drove by. Edward began keeping records of the littering and collecting the cups, eventually filling 10 garbage bags, reported The Buffalo News. They even installed a surveillance camera, but it wasn't until neighbors set up a stakeout and captured the license plate number that the mystery was solved. On April 18, police set up their own stakeout and pulled over Larry Pope, 76, a former co-worker of Cheryl's whom she had had disagreements with. Pope was charged with harassment and throwing refuse onto a roadway. The Pattons said the littering has stopped since his arrest. [The Buffalo News, 4/19/2021]

It's Good To Have a Hobby

Bearsun is the name Jesse Larios, 33, of Los Angeles gave to the teddy bear character he created in 2016 and fashioned into a human-sized Bearsun suit. On April 12, Larios decided to have a fun adventure walking from Los Angeles to San Francisco dressed as Bearsun, a journey of more than 400 miles. Mountain passes and road construction have made the trip slower than he expected, reported CNN Travel, and it's no luxury excursion: Bearsun sleeps wherever he finds himself at the end of the day and gets food at gas stations. "I'm like a puppy, I guess," Larios said. "I just see something and I chase after it." [CNN, 4/15/2021]

Mistaken Identity

The Krakow (Poland) Society for the Protection of Animals responded on April 14 to a report that a suspected iguana was stuck in a lilac tree outside a residential building, only to discover a discarded croissant instead. "People don't open windows because they're afraid it's going to enter their house," the caller told the group. United Press International reported the animal rescue agency was forgiving. "It's better to check and be pleasantly disappointed ... than not react, which can sometimes lead to a tragedy," the group posted on its Facebook page. [United Press International, 4/15/2021]

Sightings

Detectives from the New Jersey State Park Police were dispatched on April 9 to a site in Wharton State Forest to examine a device found on the forest floor. The "UFO Detector Site" was determined to be safe by K-9 officer Prime, and officers had no trouble "disarming" the unit by unplugging headphone wires from the block of wood and soup can they were plugged into. It wasn't clear who had left the object. On Facebook, park police noted, "Although humankind and the visitors to New Jersey's state parks appreciate an extraterrestrial warning device like this, we should not be finding them in our state parks." [NBC New York, 4/13/2021]

Least Competent Criminal

Cordell Coleman, 33, was arrested for public intoxication on April 14 in Little Rock, Arkansas, and was held until about 2:30 the next morning. When he was released from the Polaski County jail, Coleman took the first car he came across: an unmarked Little Rock Police Department SUV that had been left unlocked. The Smoking Gun reported that police tracked the car to an apartment complex about 10 miles away, where Coleman was found in the car. He was brought back to jail and charged with felony theft, this time in lieu of $25,000 bond. [The Smoking Gun, 4/16/2021]

Bright Idea

Nathan Finkel called 911 on April 17 to report that Courtney Wilson and another person showed up at the gate of his expansive mansion in suburban Fort Lauderdale, Florida, claiming that they were having a wedding there that day. "I have people trespassing on my property," Finkel said. "They say they're having a wedding here and it's God's message. I don’t know what's going on." According to the South Florida Sun Sentinel, Wilson, the groom, had inquired about buying the estate, listed for $5.7 million, several weeks ago, then asked Finkel if he could use the backyard for his wedding. Finkel said no, but Wilson and his betrothed, Shenita Jones, sent out online invitations anyway, with festivities beginning at 3:30 p.m. on Saturday and continuing through brunch on Sunday at what they called "the Wilson estate." "The guy figured it was a vacant house and didn't realize (Finkel) lived on the property in a different home," explained Town Attorney Keith Poliakoff. Wilson was told to vacate the property and was not charged with a crime. [South Florida Sun Sentinel, 4/21/2021]