-- Some sports teams eager to return to the field have taken to placing cardboard figures of fans in stadium seats to enhance the experience for viewers, but the FC Seoul soccer club in South Korea was forced to apologize May 18 after propping up sex dolls in the seats for its match against Gwangju FC, The New York Times reported. "We had tried to add some fun in the no-spectator match," the club explained. "But we have not checked all the details, and that is clearly our fault." "Details" included the buxom physiques and obvious logos of sex toy marketers on the dolls' clothing that fans watching quickly noticed. "We had confirmed that although the mannequins were made to look just like real people, they had nothing to do with adult products," the statement said, but the club admitted it had neglected to do a background check of the supplier, which makes sex dolls. [New York Times, 5/18/2020]

-- Dinner at the renowned three-Michelin-star Inn at Little Washington in Virginia can set diners back a pretty penny -- unless they're not eating. When the Inn opens on May 29, some of its patrons will be mannequins, reported the Associated Press, attired in fancy 1940s clothing and placed strategically at tables to help with social distancing. "We're all craving to gather and see other people right now," said Patrick O'Connell, the Inn's proprietor and chef. "They don't all necessarily need to be real people." [Associated Press, 5/14/2020]

Rebellion Served Cold

An unnamed ice cream shop in Hong Kong is offering tear gas-flavored ice cream in support of the region's pro-democracy movement, reports the Associated Press. The shop's owner explained he wanted "to make a flavor that reminds people that they still have to persist in the protest movement and don't lose their passion." "It tastes like tear gas," said customer Anita Wong. "It feels difficult to breathe at first, and it's really pungent and irritating. It makes me want to drink a lot of water immediately." The owner tried several different combinations to achieve the flavor and found that black pepper came the closest. Before coronavirus restrictions, he said the store was selling 20 to 30 scoops per day. [Associated Press, 5/14/2020]

Just Funny

University of Arizona wildlife biology professor Michael Bogan caught Saturday morning cartoons as they came to life in a video he recorded of a coyote chasing a roadrunner May 9 in downtown Tucson. Bogan could be heard on his recording saying, "There is literally a coyote chasing a roadrunner. I can't believe it. That is a straight-up cartoon." The reenactment of the classic setup between Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner caught Bogan's attention near the Santa Cruz River, Fox News reported. And, as life often imitates art, the real roadrunner escaped unharmed from the wily coyote. [Fox News, 5/15/2020]

The Passing Parade

Police responding to a reported shooting in Poughkeepsie, New York, early on May 17, arrived to find a very drunk 35-year-old man from the Bronx who claimed he'd been shot in the buttocks, which caused him to fall and hit his head. The Hudson Valley Post reported the unnamed victim was taken to a hospital, where he was treated for his head injury, but doctors could find no evidence he'd been shot. There was no bullet hole in his buttocks, X-rays showed no bullet lodged inside his buttocks, and his pants had no holes in them, police said. Witnesses nearby were also intoxicated and unable to provide any clarification. When officers pressed the victim about his story, he became uncooperative and said, "I didn't pull a gun." [Hudson Valley Post, 5/19/2020]

Homeschooling Gone Wild

Parents have lodged complaints with the Archbishop Sentamu Academy in Hull, England, after discovering their seventh-, eighth- and ninth-graders were sent an exercise asking them to define pornography, soft pornography, hardcore pornography and other sensitive subjects, such as human trafficking and female genital mutilation. Hull Live reported on May 19 that the assignments were made as part of the school's sex education course, but one parent, identified as Mrs. Taylor, said if her daughter had searched these terms on the internet, the results would have "destroyed her mind" and "scarred her for life." The school responded saying, "Students were not directed to research these topics themselves on the internet because all the answers ... were contained in the teacher-produced materials we shared." Principal Chay Bell apologized: "I am genuinely sorry for any upset caused at this difficult time." [Hull Live, 5/19/2020]

Why Not?

In Japan, people are enlisting the help of a long-forgotten mythical creature believed to ward off plagues in their battle against the coronavirus. Amabie, a mermaidlike being, first appeared in Japanese folklore in 1846, when she was reported to have appeared to a government official and predicted a rich harvest and a pandemic. She told the man the pandemic could be thwarted by drawing her likeness and sharing it with as many people as possible, BBC reported on April 23. Now, images of the spirit are appearing over five continents, and in Japan, face masks and hand sanitizer with her image are popular. One long-haul driver painted her on the side of his truck, saying, "I travel all over the country with my (goods) and Amabie to pray for the disease to go away." Even the country's Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare has joined in, tweeting an image of Amabie and encouraging people to "prevent the spread of the virus." [BBC, 4/23/2020]

Going the Extra Mile

A nurse in the western Russian city of Tula has been disciplined for "noncompliance with the requirements for medical clothing" after photos appeared on social media of her wearing only a bra and panties under transparent PPE on a COVID-19 men-only ward. The unnamed nurse told her superiors at the Tula Regional Clinical Hospital that wearing clothing under the PPE was "too hot" and that she didn't realize the protective gear was see-through. The Scottish Sun reported on May 20 that patients didn't seem to mind, though one admitted there was "some embarrassment." [Scottish Sun, 5/20/2020]

Oops

On May 15, staff at a Hamilton, Ontario, retirement home transferred all of its residents to a hospital because of an outbreak of COVID-19. That is, except for one. The following evening, after repeated alerts from the man's family, he was discovered in his room at the Rosslyn Retirement Residence by a security officer who had been dispatched to look for him. He was "alert" and was subsequently transferred to the hospital, the CBC reported. "This was clearly not something anybody would have intended to do," and the lack of a master list of residents contributed to the snafu, said Winnie Doyle, executive vice president of clinical operations at the hospital where most of the residents were sent. "This was ... extremely distressing." [CBC, 5/19/2020]

Inexplicable

A Facebook group called "A group where we all pretend to be ants in an ant colony" began March with around 100,000 members, reported NBC. Then the world locked down, and membership soared to more than 1.7 million. Started by Tyrese Childs, 20, of Fargo, North Dakota, the group's purpose is to serve their fictional queen and search out food for her, and it is one of roughly 70 role-playing groups on Facebook. Members of the ant colony can post photos about being ants and others join in by commenting with terms such as "MUNCH" and "LIFT." One post featuring a photo of ice cream with ants crawling on it invited members to deliver some of the sweet treat to the queen and got more than 18,000 replies. "I think people are searching for something to do right now," Childs said. "You can only scroll so much on social media." [NBC, 5/12/2020]

In South America, some families of people who have died of COVID-19 have had to wait days for a coffin, either because of the short supply or they were unable to afford one, the Associated Press reported on May 8. In response, ABC Displays, a Colombian advertising company, has developed a cardboard hospital bed with metal railings that can be converted into a coffin. The beds can hold a weight of 330 pounds and will cost about $85 each, company manager Rodolfo Gomez said. He plans to donate 10 beds and hopes to receive orders for more from emergency clinics that might run short on beds. [Associated Press, 5/8/2020]

Not Men From Outer Space

People in Washington's Puget Sound were startled on the evening of May 6 by a brilliant streak of light across the sky followed three minutes later by a loud explosion. "Huge boom that shook the house. It was the loudest boom I've ever heard," one witness in Brier reported, according to KOMO. The American Meteor Society investigated the many reports it fielded and determined the noise came from an exploding meteor entering Earth's atmosphere. The meteor may have been part of the annual Eta Aquarid meteor shower, which occurs when Earth moves through the remnants of Halley's comet. [KOMO, 5/7/2020]

Bright Ideas

Restaurants have adapted to local lockdowns with curbside and drive-thru services, so it's no surprise that other businesses are following suit. Minx Gentlemen's Club in Virginia Beach, Virginia, is offering drive-thru pole dances and other entertainment in a makeshift outdoor space, according to The Sun. Dancers were showered with bills or grabbed their tips using a trash picker to reach into vehicles as patrons enjoyed the performances from the safety of their cars. Meanwhile, in Las Vegas, Little Darlings is offering completely nude drive-up strip teases. "Guests can drive up to the front door, and we're going to have dancers separated by the 6-foot separation rule, and (customers) can enjoy a totally nude show right from the seat of their car," a Little Darlings spokesperson told KSNV. [The Sun, 5/11/2020]

Recent Alarming Headline

In Clocolan, Free State Province, South Africa, where the now-seven-week-long lockdown includes a ban on buying or selling alcoholic beverages, thieves broke into the Rest in Peace funeral parlor and made off with four gallons of exhumation liquid, the Daily Mail reported on May 12. The fluid, used to preserve body parts that have been exhumed, is 97% alcohol, police spokesperson Brigadier Motansi Makhele said, and the burglars had to break through roller blinds and into a locked steel cabinet to get to the liquid. A forensic officer predicted: "If the thieves drink that liquid without watering it right down, then they will drop dead themselves!" [Daily Mail, 5/12/2020]

Inexplicable

In 2006, Armin Meiwes, now 58, was convicted of killing, dismembering and slowly eating Bernd Brandes, 43, over a number of months in Rotenburg, Germany, but today, the man who advertised himself as a "friendly and polite" cannibal, goes for "walks around town" with a police escort and wearing sunglasses and a cap to disguise himself. Meiwes had advertised in 2001 on a website called The Cannibal Cafe for "a well-built 18- to 30-year-old to be slaughtered and then consumed," and Brandes answered the ad. At trial, Meiwes told the court he had always dreamed of having a younger brother "to be a part of me" and thought cannibalism would be a way to satisfy that obsession. Two officers accompany Meiwes on his outings, reports the Daily Mail, and he is described by his keepers as a "friendly, outgoing, polite" prisoner who is helpful to others, attends church services and works in the prison laundry. [Daily Mail, 5/12/2020]

Questionable Judgment

-- Curtis L. Fish, 48, arrested and charged with kidnapping and raping a woman on New Year's Day in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, was released when the COVID-19 crisis erupted in jails, according to PennLive.com. On May 12, police responding to reports that Fish tried to break into the Crossroads Tavern in Hilltown Township attempted to Taser Fish, but he fled to his home nearby, where he set off and aimed fireworks at a SWAT team before his house suddenly caught fire. "Fireworks outside and fireworks inside," said tavern owner Mike Mrozinski. "So I believe that's what lit the house on fire." A body thought to be Fish was found inside. Mrozinski said Fish, whom he had known for 16 years, was "not the same guy I had known him to be" before the rape charges. [PennLive.com, 5/13/2020]

-- Joseph Todd Kowalczyk, 20, tweeted at the FBI on May 10, threatening that he had "10 bombs ready to go off ... in my basement ... come get me you guys have till 8 before I make this city in my own little hell #forwaco." The FBI determined the tweet came from a mobile home park in Clinton Township, Michigan, according to The Detroit News, and officers showed up at Kowalczyk's home the next day, where he explained that he was "testing the government" and was upset that they had not responded more promptly. He told agents he had no weapons and would not make any more threatening tweets, but as the day wore on, Kowalczyk taunted the FBI in further posts, disparaging the agency and police for their slow response. On May 12, he was arrested and charged with transmitting a threat to injure, which is punishable by up to five years in prison. [Detroit News, 5/13/2020]

Paying the Price

Restaurants in West Plains, Missouri, endured a social media storm in early May after a customer posted a photo of a receipt that included a "Covid 19 Surcharge." But the restaurants pushed back, according to KY3. "It's not a tax. It's basically just a small percentage to cover all of our extra expenses," said Bootleggers BBQ owner Brian Staack. Kiko Japanese Steakhouse manager Sarah Sherwood said prices on most items have doubled, and Ozark Cafe co-owner Heather Hughes confirmed: "Every day there's something else (food suppliers) can't get or the prices have gone up exorbitantly." The restaurateurs say it's easier to add the 5% surcharge than constantly change the menus, and they've been upfront with customers, using signs and notes in their menus. While the initial response was surprise, Sherwood says the community has "really come together to support the local businesses." [KY3, 5/8/2020]

Florida

A Mother's Day bouquet became a weapon during an altercation in Pinellas County, Florida, early on May 11. Sandra Kay Webb, 32, allegedly became angry with her husband because he bought flowers for her children to give her for Mother's Day. The Smoking Gun reported that Webb threw the bouquet at her husband and hit him with it, then spit on him. Webb was charged with domestic battery; she admitted throwing the flowers, but denied the spitting. [Smoking Gun, 5/12/2020]

On May 1, officials in San Diego County ordered residents to start wearing face coverings while in public to prevent the spread of COVID-19. On May 2, an unnamed man went grocery shopping at Vons in Santee, California, where a number of shoppers took photos of the man, wearing a Ku Klux Klan hood. Staff members repeatedly asked him to remove the hood, according to a company spokeswoman, but he refused until he reached the checkout area, where a supervisor caught up to him. The man removed the hood, paid for his groceries and left. Santee Mayor John Minto told the Los Angeles Times, "Santee, its leaders and I will not tolerate such behavior." [Los Angeles Times, 5/4/2020]

The Passing Parade

Virginia Hamilton, 69, was charged with felonious assault in Youngstown, Ohio, on May 3 after an altercation with her live-in boyfriend. According to WKBN, the boyfriend told police she became upset about his dirty underwear in the "laundry bucket" and grabbed a butcher knife; he tried to fight back with a pocket knife he had on hand. When officers arrived, Hamilton was on the front porch, washing blood off her hands, and the boyfriend was lying on a bed inside, covered in blood, with cuts on his arms and hands. The police report also noted that alcohol was involved. Ya think? [WKBN, 5/4/2020]

Creative Quarantine

Discovery Island at Disney World in Orlando, Florida, has been closed to the public since 1999, and, of course, the park itself has been closed since mid-March because of coronavirus concerns. Once called Treasure Island, the 11-acre property sits in the park's Bay Lake and was a pure "tropical paradise" for an unnamed interloper from Alabama, who was found camping on the island on April 30 by park security. NPR reported the 42-year-old man told Orange County Sheriff's deputies he was planning to stay about a week and was unaware he was doing anything wrong, despite numerous "no trespassing" signs and calls from authorities over loudspeakers. Nevertheless, he was charged with trespassing and was banned from all Disney properties. [NPR, 5/3/2020]

Florida

Two landscapers were charged with DUIs for driving the same vehicle at the same time in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, after police pulled over an SUV that had been reported to be driving recklessly on April 15. According to police reports, the officers spotted Alfredo Lopez Chaj, 24, behind the wheel, but by the time an officer approached the car, Chaj was standing outside it, and Martin Lopez Chaj, 20, was in the driver's seat. The younger man, apparently a brother, had slid over from the passenger seat, put the car in gear and tried to escape, but the officer pulled him out of the car, The Palm Beach Post reported. Both men, police noted, smelled of alcohol, and both had wet their pants; neither had a valid driver's license. [Palm Beach Post, 4/17/2020]

Precocious

A Utah Highway Patrol officer pulled over a car in Weber County on May 4 for "what he thought was an impaired driver," the highway patrol said on Twitter, but instead he was shocked to find a 5-year-old in the driver's seat. The boy told the trooper he took off in his parents' car after arguing with his mother because she wouldn't buy him a Lamborghini, according to United Press International. He planned to drive to California to get one for himself, but alas, "he only had $3 his wallet," the highway patrol noted. [UPI, 5/5/2020]

Animal Antics

A monkey riding a small motorized bicycle in a street performance in Surabaya, Indonesia, on May 2, threw down the bike and suddenly grabbed a toddler who was watching, Global News reported, dragging the child down the cobblestone street for several feet before letting him go. The boy was scratched but not seriously injured. [Global News, 5/4/2020]

Wait, What?

-- Katrina Morgan, 50, called 911 on May 2 in Port Clinton, Ohio, asking for the fire department because, "I need somebody to come put it out with their hose," according to police reports. "It" was her crotch, she told the dispatcher, and it was on fire. The News Herald reported that police responding to her call arrested Morgan for making false reports and disrupting public services, and found empty bottles of alcohol in the house. Other people at the home admitted they'd been drinking but said they didn't see her using the telephone. [Port Clinton News Herald, 5/5/2020]

-- An advertisement for a deodorant that aired during "Britain's Got Talent" on May 2 caused a backlash among viewers who were shocked to see the ad conclude with a squirrel "getting it on" with a can of the deodorant, as one angry viewer put it. "We are watching this as a family," wrote one complainant, according to The Independent, while others noted the ad celebrating Lynx Africa's 25th anniversary was "inappropriately scheduled" and "unsuitable for children." The Advertising Standards Authority received 155 complaints about the ad, but said, "No decision has been made on whether there are grounds for an investigation." [The Independent, 5/6/2020]

Storytime

Nursery school teacher Eloise Roberts, 32, has been making videos for her students during the coronavirus lockdown, and recently decided to take advantage of a lovely spring day to record a story about unicorns at the horse riding school in Moreton, Merseyside, England, where she lives. What she didn't expect was the springtime friskiness of the horses in the background. "I could hear that the horses were up to something behind me," Roberts told the Daily Mail, so she turned around to discover the more compelling story happening behind her, and quickly moved to another field. [Daily Mail, 4/22/2020]

Bright Idea

Officials in Lund, Sweden, were concerned about people spreading coronavirus in the town's central park as they gathered for Walpurgis Night on April 30, a traditional celebration welcoming longer, warmer days that includes picnics and bonfires. So to discourage revelers, the town spread chicken manure all over the park. "This is a park where usually 30,000 people gather, but with COVID-19, this is now unthinkable," Mayor Philip Sandberg told Reuters. "We don't want Lund to become an epicenter for the spread of the disease. Even a small number of people still going to the park can become a big risk." [Reuters, 4/30/2020]

Least Competent Criminals

Before Quintin Henderson, 28, was released from Illinois' Cook County Jail on May 2, he made a deal with fellow inmate Jahquez Scott, 21. The Chicago Sun-Times reported that Scott promised Henderson $1,000 for letting Scott assume his identity, according to jail authorities, and when Henderson's name was called, Scott stepped up, face mask in place, signed a few papers and walked away. It was when Henderson approached staff members a little while later and said he'd fallen asleep that officers realized there'd been a switch. Henderson, who was supposed to be released, is now being held on charges of aiding and abetting the escape of a felon, and Scott is still on the run. [Chicago Sun-Times, 5/5/2020]