On April 22, Bowling Green, Kentucky, Mayor Bruce Wilkerson was hard at work at a house he has been renovating when he smelled cigarette smoke and "heard a ruckus" outside, so he went to investigate. The former police officer found blood on the cellar door and a bag containing women's clothing inside, but after determining there were no reports of missing women in the area, he told the Bowling Green Daily News, he went back to his work. Later, the electricity suddenly went out, so he returned to the cellar and this time found a young woman. "She said, 'I'm hiding from someone,'" Wilkerson told police, then she ran away. Police haven't identified her, but Wilkerson wanted to set the record straight before "a story would come out that I had a lady locked up in my cellar." [Bowling Green Daily News, 4/22/2020]

Quick Thinking

Eliza Ruth Watson, 37, raises chickens in Gray, Maine, so she's used to seeing foxes nosing around, but as she worked in her garden on April 23, the fox she spotted didn't run when she tried to scare it off by hollering and waving her arms. Instead, the animal lunged toward her, ready to attack. "Thinking back on it now, the fox was a mangy, stanky fox," Watson told the Sun Journal. She responded by kicking it, but "it kept coming back, and I kept kicking it." Finally Watson grabbed the fox around the neck, and as it fought back, she shoved it into a large pot used for scalding chickens, sealed the lid and called 911 and her husband. At the hospital, she received five rabies vaccine injections. "People kept asking, 'Are you the one who wrestled the fox?'" she said. "It's certainly not how I expected to spend my day." [Sun Journal, 4/24/2020]

Zoom Fatigue

-- A videoconference meeting of the Vallejo, California, planning commission got a little weird on April 20 when commissioner Chris Platzer announced, "I'd like to introduce my cat," then was seen throwing the cat off-screen. Later Platzer was seen drinking a beer, and after the meeting ended, city staff could still hear him making derogatory remarks about the commission, the Vallejo Times-Herald reported. In an April 25 email to the newspaper, Platzer apologized for his actions and said he has resigned from the commission. "We are all living in uncertain times, and I certainly, like many of you, am adjusting to a new normalcy," he wrote. Mayor Bob Sampayan said he was bothered by Platzer's "whole demeanor during the entire meeting." The commission had scheduled a vote to remove Platzer on April 28. [Times Herald, 4/27/2020]

-- ABC News reporter Will Reeve made an internet meme come to life on April 28 when he appeared on "Good Morning America" to report on pharmacies using drones to deliver prescriptions. Looking dapper in a sport coat and open-collared shirt, Reeve no doubt thought his home setup would camouflage the fact that he wasn't wearing pants, CNN reported. Twitter had a field day, and Reeve himself tweeted back, "I have ARRIVED ... in the most hilariously mortifying way possible." [CNN, 4/28/2020]

Irony

The National Weather Service issued a dust advisory on April 27 in eastern Washington after wind gusts of more than 40 mph kicked up a wall of sediment. "We have had reports of blowing dust near Dusty (seriously, near the town of Dusty) on SR 26 and SR 127," the NWS tweeted. According to Fox News, the Washington State Patrol reported that SR 26 was "fully blocked" about 3 miles outside of Dusty after a car and a semi-truck crashed. The highway remained closed for about six hours. [Fox News, 4/28/2020]

Least Competent Criminal

North Carolina State Highway Patrol officers stopped Lance Gordon, 32, on April 24, for speeding in a car belonging to Angela Lee, 47, of Holly Springs, whom Gordon said was an acquaintance. WRAL reported authorities grew suspicious after Holly Springs police were unable to contact Lee to confirm the story, and in a subsequent search of her house and car, investigators found Lee's body in the car's trunk. Gordon was charged with Lee's murder, along with stealing her car. [WRAL, 4/27/2020]

Desperate Times

In Logrono, Spain, an unidentified man pushed the envelope on Spain's stringent lockdown rules, which make an exception for pet owners, who are allowed to go outside briefly with their pets, according to Gray News. The National Police tweeted a photo on April 24 of the man being arrested for sitting on a city bench holding his pet fish a fish bowl. [Gray News via 14News, 4/24/2020]

Entrepreneurial Spirit

Brian Wood, owner of All American Gator Products in Dania Beach, Florida, is taking face masks to a whole new level by fashioning coverings made with the skin of Burmese pythons. "Some people want to make a fashion statement even during this pandemic, so I want to give them options," Wood told the Miami Herald on April 19. The snakeskin itself doesn't offer any added protection, but the masks would allow for a filter or lining to be inserted and removed. Wood hopes to add alligator and crocodile skin masks to his offerings, although alligator, "the diamond of leathers," would be more expensive. Wood said he will be buying animals from local hunters to meet the demand. [Miami Herald, 4/19/2020]

Name in the News

Police in Gwinnett County, Georgia, finally caught up with 35-year-old Speedy Gonzalez, of Buford, on April 25. Gonzalez had been wanted in connection with a theft in January, when multiple checks were reported stolen from a mailbox in Suwanee, the Associated Press reported. Gonzalez allegedly cashed the checks, used the money to buy more than $3,000 worth of merchandise at Home Depot, then returned the goods for cash. He was charged with forgery, identity theft and theft by deception. [Associated Press, 4/28/2020]

Recurring Theme

In the Sydney, Australia, suburb of Marrickville, a family has resorted to erecting a fence and a warning sign to scare away a "mystery human poo-er" who has allegedly been defecating next to their garage, United Press International reported. "We have installed this fence and a camera to hand over to police," the sign reads. "We understand that COVID-19 is tough on everyone but please stop (expletive) on our garage." The message also includes directions to a nearby public toilet. [United Press International, 4/28/2020]

Ewwwww!

Three roommates at Northwest Iowa Community College in Sheldon, Iowa, were charged on April 20 with assault in response to an event that took place on March 13. According to nwestiowa.com, Lindsey Ann Cundiff, 20; Kyiah Elaine Kastner, 19; and Ellie Thompson, 20, allegedly removed dry skin from the bottom of one of their feet and added it into a fourth roommate's shredded cheese, then watched her eat it. No word on what else was in the dish. [nwestiowa.com, 4/21/2020]

Early on the morning of April 15, an unidentified driver smashed his yellow Mustang into a fence in unincorporated Marin County, California, KPIX reported. California Highway Patrol Officer Andrew Barclay later recounted what followed: The driver tried to back out of the fence, but failed to realize he was in drive and crashed through a home instead. The homeowner came out to investigate and, noting the driver's impaired state, removed the keys from the Mustang and returned inside to call police. The driver then discovered the keys inside the homeowner's Toyota and tried to make his getaway, Barclay said, but he shifted the car into drive and barreled through the house once more, coming to rest alongside his Mustang. When the homeowner again tried to take the keys away, the driver allegedly hit him repeatedly, causing major injuries. CHP arrested the driver for suspicion of DUI involving drugs, battery and theft of a vehicle. [KPIX, 4/15/2020]

Bright Ideas

-- Many hospital workers are self-isolating to keep their families safe from COVID-19 exposure, but Corpus Christi, Texas, emergency room doctor Jason Barnes, 39, is taking a novel approach: He's moved into his kids' treehouse in his backyard. Barnes told the Caller Times on April 20 that he's lived in the treehouse for about three weeks. If he needs something, he'll shout down to the kids or call the house. "(T)he Wi-Fi reaches the treehouse, so I have my laptop and my own little command center here," Barnes said. He uses a camping toilet with disposable bags, and he either showers at the hospital or "my oldest son will rig up a water hose. ... Luckily, my fence is pretty tall." As for when he can re-enter the house, Barnes said, "We're always looking at the CDC and Gov. Greg Abbott's decision, but the final determinator is the wife." [Caller Times, 4/20/2020]

-- The Washington Examiner reported on April 21 that some people appear to be spending their coronavirus stimulus checks on another kind of stimulation. The adult live model site Cams.com says it has seen a surge in traffic. "Since April 13, we've seen a 22% uptick in traffic to our livestreaming site, and tips to our models have increased by 40%," said Gunner Taylor, director of strategic development for FriendFinder Networks, of which Cams.com is a part. Traffic from Washington state is up 204%, and it's up 83% in Illinois, but it's down in Washington, D.C., by 29%. [Washington Examiner, 4/21/2020]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

At the Peace N Peas Farm in Indian Trail, North Carolina, owners Francie and Mark Dunlap have launched a new career for their 8-year-old mini donkey, Mambo, and their other horses. For $50, Mambo, Eddie, Zeus or other animals will make a 10-minute guest appearance to liven up your next videoconference, the Charlotte Observer reported. You can even give the four-legged interloper the on-screen name of a regular attendee: For instance, Zeus might become Paul, the guy who asks too many questions. The Dunlaps also arrange for their animals to visit classrooms or happy hours. [Charlotte Observer, 4/19/2020]

Reports of My Death

Cancer patient Gladys Rodriguez Duarte, 50, was rushed to a clinic in Coronel Oviedo, Paraguay, on April 11, after her blood pressure shot up, according to the Paraguay National Police. Two hours later, Dr. Heriberto Vera declared her dead and shared the news with Duarte's family, but her daughter, Sandra, later told local media, "He assumed she was dead and ... they disconnected her and passed her off to the funeral home." The Daily Mail reported that funeral directors told investigators they were shocked to find she was breathing and moving around inside the body bag at the funeral home. Duarte was immediately transferred to another hospital for observation. [Daily Mail, 4/14/2020]

The Continuing Crisis

Geauga County (Ohio) Sheriff Scott Hildenbrand told WJW his office was called to break up a large party of Amish late on April 18 in Huntsburg Township. "When we got there, there was a barn full of people and some of them ran," he said. One partier was arrested for disorderly conduct, two were charged with underage drinking and another was issued a summons for violating the state's stay-at-home order, according to the sheriff. "We won't tolerate this," Hildenbrand said, "and we have to keep everybody safe." Amish people are reportedly continuing to gather in large groups, and the county health commissioner has sent a letter to Amish bishops about an increase in COVID-19 cases in that community. [WJW, 4/20/2020]

NOT COVID-19

An unnamed 22-year-old Chinese woman has spent the last 14 years trying to discover the cause of her persistent cough, which started when she suffered a serious fit of coughing as a child, Oddity Central reported on April 22. Over the years, she has been misdiagnosed numerous times, but as she recently prepared for an unrelated surgery, the mystery was solved. Dr. Wang Jiyong at Guangzhou University of Chinese Medicine ordered CT scans that revealed a foreign object in her right lung that turned out to be a chicken bone fragment just over half an inch long. Doctors said she had probably inhaled it at 8 years old, when the coughing started. [Oddity Central, 4/22/2020]

Ignorance Was Bliss

Elena Manighetti and Ryan Osborne, formerly of Manchester, England, followed their dream and have been sailing around the world on their boat since 2017. They were en route from the Canary Islands to the Caribbean, where they planned to dock on a small island in mid-March, but were surprised to discover the island's borders were closed because of a worldwide pandemic. "In February, we'd heard there was a virus in China, but ... we had figured by the time we got to the Caribbean in 25 days it would all be over," Elena told the BBC. The couple had told friends and family they didn't want to hear any bad news, but Elena is from the hard-hit Lombardy region of Italy and has since caught up with her family. "It's a very macabre picture at home, there are no more coffins, no more cemetery space. ... My family is thankfully safe ... but people we've known for years have died," Elena said. The couple was eventually able to dock in Saint Vincent, and they hope to head north before hurricane season starts in June. "We're sandwiched between the hurricane season and the virus," Elena said. [BBC, 4/21/2020]

Numbers Game

Doriana Fontanella contacted KDVR in Denver to report that she's been inundated with phone calls recently and she suspects she know why: Her mobile phone number is just one digit off Colorado's fax number for the Department of Labor and Employment, where people are trying to send applications for unemployment claims. "There's a real need out there, and I needed to let people know that I'm not the one they want," Fontanella told the station's Problem Solvers team. "I see on the news they're saying they can't get any response from unemployment, and I think that's because they're not getting the right number." [KDVR, 4/22/2020]

Inexplicable

Ethan Palazzo, 30, of Collingswood, New Jersey, was arrested by police in Old Forge, who found him naked inside a local funeral home on April 11. According to a criminal complaint, Palazzo allegedly broke into the Thomas P. Kearney Funeral Home around 8 p.m., then rummaged through the facility's chemical closet and left a cold bottle of beer in a display casket. The Citizens' Voice reported Palazzo smelled of alcohol and declined to give police a motive for his trespassing; he was charged with burglary, criminal trespass and criminal mischief. [The Citizen's Voice, 4/15/2020]

As leaders worldwide search for ways to encourage people to stay home during the coronavirus pandemic, officials in Indonesia are taking advantage of its citizens' superstitions, Reuters reported on April 13. Kepuh, a village on Java island, is employing village residents to dress as "pocong," or the trapped souls of the dead, in Indonesian folklore. The ghostly figures, wrapped in white shrouds with their heads covered and dark-rimmed eyes peering out, surprise unsuspecting pedestrians, then disappear into the night. The strategy appears to be working: Villagers have been seen running off in fright when the pocong appear. "People will not gather or stay on the streets after evening prayers," resident Karno Supadmo said. [Reuters, 4/13/2020]

Desperate Measures

Olive Veronesi, 93, of Seminole, Pennsylvania, wasn't shy about letting loved ones know what she needed during the lockdown. "I need more beer!" read a sign she held up, along with a can of Coors Light. A relative posted Veronesi's photo to social media, KDKA reported, and her predicament went viral. "I have a beer every night. ... I was on my last 12 cans. You know what, beer has vitamins in it. It's good for you, only don't overdo it," Veronesi said. On April 13, she got her wish: Molson Coors delivered 10 cases of her favorite brew to her front door. Her new sign reads, "Got more beer!" [KDKA, 4/13/2020]

Names in the News

-- A baby born on April 6 in Sheopur, Bhopal, India, will carry a special name with him through his life: Lockdown. Manju Mail, his mother, confirmed to hospital staff: "Yes, he is Lockdown, as he was born during the lockdown period." Her husband, Raghunath, told The Times of India: "It is a significant name. The whole world using lockdown as a means to stem this pandemic. We should not take Lockdown lightly." [Times of India, 4/9/2020]

-- Similarly, in Chhattisgarh, India, another couple blessed their twins, born March 27, with timely names: Corona and Covid. Preeti Verma, 27, told the Press Trust of India her children's names symbolize triumph over hardships. "Indeed the virus is dangerous and life-threatening, but its outbreak made people focus on sanitation, hygiene and inculcate other good habits," she said. [Press Trust of India via NDTV, 4/3/2020]

The Continuing Crisis

Los Angeles County Sheriff's deputies responded to a home in Saugus, California, on April 7 after a dispute over toilet paper turned violent, CNN reported. A 26-year-old man was arrested and charged with battery after his mother told deputies he had punched her. Sheriff's department spokesperson Shirley Miller said the man had accused his mother of hiding toilet paper, which she admitted to deputies, saying her son was using too much. "This is the first arrest I've heard of that started out over an argument over toilet paper," remarked Miller. [CNN, 4/8/2020]

Getting the Message Out

Civic-minded car designer Kanyaboyina Sudhakar of the Sudha Cars Museum in Bahadurpura, India, has built a one-seat vehicle in the shape of the coronavirus "so that awareness can be spread on social distancing," he told The Times of India on April 8. The six-wheeled Corona Car can go about 25 mph and took Sudhakar 10 days to build. "I have always made cars to give back to the society in my own way," Sudhakar said. "(I)t is important to tell people to stay home and stay safe, and the coronavirus car is meant to convey the message." [Times of India, 4/8/2020]

Priorities

As tornadoes bore down on the Southeast on April 12, an unnamed family sought safety in a storm shelter in Crossville, Alabama, but said they were turned away when they had only one face mask. The woman told WHNT a man who opened the door asked if they had masks. "I said I have one mask," the woman said. "He motioned no and shut the door." The family ran back to their car and looked for shelter elsewhere. Crossville Mayor Tera Fortenberry had posted the face coverings requirement on Facebook, but the family didn't see the message. After the story became public, masks were donated to the town anonymously. [WHNT, 4/14/2020]

Buried Treasure

A man in Heckmondwike, West Yorkshire, England, set out to build a deck in his back garden in early April and uncovered a mystery. As John Brayshaw, 40, began digging post holes, he unearthed an automobile buried on its side, Yahoo News UK reported. "I thought it was an old air raid shelter at first, then I saw the roof," Brayshaw said. "Then I kept digging and saw the door, the steering wheel and realized it was a full car, complete with the registration plate. The only thing that was missing was the wheels.” Brayshaw, who has owned the home for about six months, believes the 1955/56 Ford predates the previous owners, who resided in the home 50 years. [Yahoo News UK, 4/10/2020]

Inexplicable

-- Davis, California, resident Shaun Lamar Moore, 40, was arrested on April 12 and charged with burglary after allegedly stealing a specimen that was waiting to be tested for COVID-19 from the Sutter Davis Hospital. Authorities said hospital employees reported a person had entered the facility April 11 and removed the specimen, Fox News reported. That evening, police were alerted that a sealed COVID-19 specimen was found in a shopping cart at a nearby CVS store. Police Deputy Chief Paul Doroshov said the specimen "hadn't been opened or tampered with based on the security seals. ... Although the incident is very serious, detectives do not believe (Moore) intended to harm himself or others," he added. [Fox News, 4/13/2020]

-- Kevin Fallon, 30, of New York City reportedly sent warnings to friends and family on April 9 that he intended to blow up a bronze statue in Central Park depicting characters from "Alice in Wonderland," according to court documents. On April 11, he allegedly followed up with photos of a pipe bomb and ammunition, along with threats: "This is going to hurt. None of you are safe. I am lethal." At his mother's request, NYPD conducted a wellness check at his apartment that day and found three bombs, ammunition and knives that had been taped together, authorities said. The New York Post reported the bombs were found to be nonfunctional, and later that day, Fallon was found at a hotel in the city, where he was taken into custody and charged with making a terroristic threat. [NY Post, 4/14/2020]

Ewwwww

A new study has found the presence of a parasitic worm called Anisakis, or herring worms, in raw or undercooked seafood has increased 283-fold since the 1970s. Study co-author Chelsea Wood, assistant professor in the University of Washington's School of Aquatic and Fishery Sciences, said most people who've eaten the worms think they have food poisoning. The symptoms are much the same, she told United Press International, and they disappear after the worm in a few days. But the worms can reach 0.8 inches in length and are visible to the naked eye, Wood noted. While fish processors and sushi chefs are adept at removing the worms, she suggested cutting sushi in half and inspecting each piece if you're concerned. [United Press International, 4/14/2020]

Least Competent Criminal

Furquan Muhammad, 22, started his very bad encounter with law enforcement on April 11 when he sped off after being pulled over in Monroe County, Georgia, for not having a license tag, authorities said. Georgia State Patrol spokesperson Lt. Stephanie Stallings told the Atlanta Journal Constitution that as the car sped by, troopers saw "there were other passengers in the fleeing vehicle that appeared to be children." The chase went on through four counties, until Muhammad crashed into a state trooper's car, which then caused a chain reaction involving four police vehicles and injured two troopers, according to authorities. Along with Muhammad in the car, deputies said they found four children (ranging in age from 9 weeks to 15 years old), marijuana, Xanax pills, a firearm and $2,000 in cash. Muhammad was arrested on multiple charges. [Atlanta Journal Constitution, 4/14/2020]