-- In Melbourne, Australia, "a bit of boredom in isolation" led 27-year-old astrophysicist Daniel Reardon to experiment on March 26 with an idea to stop people from touching their faces -- a necklace and accompanying bracelet of magnets that would sound an alarm whenever someone reached up, The Guardian reported. When that didn't work, Reardon started playing with the powerful neodymium magnets, clipping them to his earlobes and nostrils, and that's where things went wrong. Two magnets inside his nostrils became stuck together, and he couldn't separate them. Reardon tried using pliers, but they became magnetized: "Every time I brought the pliers close to my nose, my entire nose would shift toward the pliers and then the pliers would stick to the magnet," he said. Finally, his partner "took me to the hospital that she works in because she wanted all her colleagues to laugh at me," and doctors applied an anesthetic spray, then manually removed the magnets. "Needless to say, I am not going to play with the magnets anymore," Reardon said. [The Guardian, 3/30/2020]

-- Donuts Delite in Rochester, New York, has found a special way to pay tribute to immunologist Dr. Anthony Fauci. Since March 23, the shop has been printing Dr. Fauci's image on thin, edible paper, then applying it to the buttercream frosting on its doughnuts. Nick Semeraro, franchisee of the shop, told the Democrat & Chronicle: "He's on TV giving us the facts; you've got to respect that. ... People are buying them like crazy. We're making more right now." The doc doughnuts go for $20 per dozen, curbside pickup and delivery available. [Democrat & Chronicle, 3/30/2020]

-- A survey commissioned by Mentimeter, an interactive presentation company, found that 12% of people working from home turn their computer's camera off during a video meeting because they're wearing few or no clothes, United Press International reported on March 26. Along with that, Walmart Executive Vice President Dan Bartlett told The Washington Post, "we're seeing increased sales in tops, but not bottoms," a phenomenon presumably driven by video conferencing workers who do leave their cameras on. [United Press International, 3/26/2020; Washington Post, 3/28/2020]

-- App developers Daniel Ahmadizadeh and Christopher Smeder have good news for those in the dating pool during this time of social distancing and staying at home. Quarantine Together is a text-based app they launched on March 15 that asks users once a day whether they've washed their hands, and if they say yes, they're introduced to another user. Nivi Jayasekar of San Francisco told CNN she was eager to give it a shot: "It was a hilarious idea. I feel like it's an opportunity to form a deeper connection with someone before meeting them," she said. Ahmadizadeh reports that sign-ups have been growing by 50% every day. [CNN, 3/29/2020]

Doggone It!

Alberto Tito Alejandro, 51, was arrested following a high-speed chase after Washington state troopers received multiple calls on March 29 about a car hitting two other vehicles south of Seattle and then racing away at speeds up to 100 mph, AFP reported. Trooper Heather Axtman said when officers got close to the 1996 Buick, they were shocked to see a dog sitting in the driver's seat. Alejandro was steering and pushing the gas pedal from the passenger seat. "When we took him into custody," Axtman said, "he admitted to our troopers that he was teaching his dog to drive. ... I've heard a lot of excuses ... but I've never had an excuse that the dog was driving." Alejandro was charged on multiple counts, including driving under the influence of drugs. [AFP, 3/30/2020]

All In

MedFet UK, a small company that supplies people who indulge in medical fetishes, donated its entire inventory ("just a few sets") of disposable medical scrubs to Britain's National Health Service on March 27 after being contacted by desperate procurement officers, Metro News reported. "When we, a tiny company set up to serve a small section of the kink community, find ourselves being sought out as a last-resort supplier to our National Health Service in a time of crisis, something is seriously wrong," the company posted on Twitter. It also took the opportunity to provide a PSA: "Whether getting ready for some kinky fun or guarding against a virus outbreak, the single most effective method of infection control is scrupulous hand hygiene." [Metro News, 3/28/2020]

Discovery

Friends Callum Gow, Josh Grossman and Carson Schiefner in British Columbia, Canada, all in their early 20s, decided a hike away from more heavily traveled trails near Alouette Lake would be a good way to maintain social distance on March 20. There have long been rumors of a stash of gold hidden in the area, but the treasure they discovered was completely different: a secret camp, including supplies, that hadn't been touched for almost 30 years. "It was almost like one of those time capsules that you run into," Schiefner told the CBC. The hikers found sealed boxes, a radio, a Coleman stove, first aid supplies, a knife, tobacco and, apropos to current day, a big roll of toilet paper. A log book revealed the camp had been used from 1986 until 1991, and through social media, the hikers managed to find some of the original campers, including Rick Senft. He explained that a group of friends calling themselves the B.C. Weirdness Federation set up the camp, but "life gets in the way" and they gathered there less and less. "They're probably some of the best years I had," he reminisced. [CBC, 3/29/2020]

Desperate Measures

After three days quarantined in his house in Mexico, Antonio Munoz got a yen for Cheetos. With the neighborhood store just feet away, but out of reach for a nonessential trip outside, Munoz enlisted the help of his chihuahua, Chokis. Munoz attached a note and $20 to Chokis' collar and sent the dog across the street. Sure enough, Chokis returned with the Cheetos, and Munoz told Metro News on March 25 he has repeated the trip two other times, bringing back different flavors of potato chips. [Metro News, 3/25/2020]

Government in Action

Business Insider reported the U.S. Navy installed new toilet and sewage systems on two of its aircraft carriers -- the Nimitz-class USS George H.W. Bush and the newer USS Gerald R. Ford -- but found they "reportedly cannot withstand demand without having problems." Frequent clogs require the Navy to "acid flush" the sewage systems "on a regular basis," each flush costing $400,000, a Government Accountability Office review indicated. The carriers house a crew of more than 4,000 people. [Business Insider, 3/24/2020]

Can't Win

A tractor-trailer crash and subsequent fire near Dallas on April 1 lay waste to an entire load of a hot commodity in these bizarre times: toilet paper. The Associated Press reported the driver was unharmed, but the TP "burned extensively" and spilled over the interstate, which had to be closed to traffic. The truck was hauling the large rolls typically used in business restrooms. [Associated Press, 4/1/2020]

Police in Pinellas County, Florida, responded to the Clearwater Mall late on March 22, where witnesses had reported a woman screaming in a parked car. According to an arrest affidavit, the officers discovered the woman and Robert Janisch, 21, "wrestling with each other" in their birthday suits. The couple told police that after they had intercourse, the woman went to urinate outside the car, using a napkin to wipe herself, which she then accidentally threw on Janisch, prompting an argument. The affidavit stated the argument escalated to the point that Janisch choked his girlfriend, but he contended the marks on her neck occurred earlier at the beach. WFLA reported Janisch was arrested for domestic battery. [WFLA, 3/26/2020]

Signs of the Apocalypse (As If We Needed More)

Steward Gatt, also known as Stewy the Snake Catcher, was summoned to a yard in Ardeer, Victoria, Australia, in mid-March, where he bagged up a female tiger snake in order to relocate it in the wild. But when Gatt opened the bag a short time later, he discovered the snake had given birth to several offspring -- one of which had two heads. According to United Press International, Gatt took the snakes to Direct Vet Services and had them checked over. The usual one-headed babies were fine, but the two-headed specimen had to be euthanized; "... these animals are not generally viable so it was euthanized on humane grounds," the clinic posted on its Facebook page. Mom and babies were returned to the wild according to plan. [United Press International, 3/20/2020]

Oops

Vicar Simon Beach, 61, of St. Budeaux Parish Church in Plymouth, England, was uncomfortable enough as he launched into his first virtual church service on March 22, calling it "surreal." But as he leaned into the camera to deliver the final portion of his sermon, he looked to his left and calmly deadpanned, "Oh dear, I've just caught fire." Beach had leaned a bit too close to one of several nearby candles and ignited his sleeve. "I just felt my arm getting a bit hot," he told Metro News. The flame damaged his sweater and shirt, but did not burn his skin. Beach was teased a bit by fellow vicars, who razzed him for being "on fire for Jesus." "People have laughed and laughed, really," Beach said. [Metro News, 3/22/2020]

Crafting During the Coronavirus

Steve Walton of Shotley Bridge, England, took a bad spill in 2018 and, after a series of surgeries, had to have the lower part of his leg amputated in January. He was scheduled to be fitted with a prosthetic leg in mid-March, but his appointment was delayed because of the coronavirus crisis. That was when his wife, Atchari, went to work, making a leg for him using a bucket, fiberglass resin and wood. The first attempt kept falling off ("It was more akin to something Long John Silver would wear," Walton said), but Ms. Walton refined her project using a moon boot, and it worked. "My wife is very practical. She can turn her hand to anything," Walton told the BBC. "I am not going to use this regularly, but it will be good for getting around the house for the next three to six months. There are people far worse off than me at the minute." [BBC, 3/24/2020]

Least Competent Criminal

Kenneth Braden, 65, filled his shopping cart at a Nashville-area Kroger store with essentials -- five cases of beer and two packages of toilet paper -- on March 11, then bypassed the checkout lanes, according to court documents. As he attempted to leave the store, he tripped the alarm sensors at the door and the wheels on his cart locked up. After several unsuccessful attempts to move the cart, he fled the store. WZTV reported Metro Police later picked him up and charged him with theft of merchandise and driving on a suspended license. [WZTV, 3/12/2020]

Lesson Learned

Taiwan has strictly cracked down on its citizens during the COVID-19 pandemic, using GPS on phones to monitor the movement of those in quarantine. One man got a particularly costly lesson when he violated the quarantine to go clubbing, AFP reported. The unnamed man, who was required to self-quarantine for 14 days after returning from Southeast Asia, was charged $1 million Taiwanese (about $33,000 US) after he was found at a Taipei nightclub on March 22. Authorities deemed his night out "malicious," and the New Taipei mayor, Hou Yu-ih, warned, "I will not be soft-handed." [AFP, 3/23/2020]

Neighbors Helping Neighbors

In Richfield, Wisconsin, neighbors Eric Trzcinski and Trevor Reinke have missed sharing a beer while they are socially isolating. So Trzcinski came up with a novel idea: He's a car guy, and happened to have a spare exhaust tip that was the perfect size to hold a bottle of beer. Using zip ties, he strapped the tip to a remote control car, then dropped a bottle of Corona (yes, on purpose) into the pipe. He called Reinke, told him to start videotaping, and Reinke caught the little delivery as it zoomed across a busy street and up his driveway, delivering the cold brew into his hands. Trzcinski's Facebook post featuring the video racked up more than 5 million views, he told FOX6 News on March 24. [FOX6 News, 3/24/2020]

Not Funny

Joe Fasula, co-owner of Gerrity's Supermarket in Hanover Township, Pennsylvania, had "a very challenging day" on March 25. A woman who claimed she had the coronavirus, later identified by police as Margaret Chirko, "came into the store and proceeded to purposely cough on our fresh produce, and a small section of our bakery, meat case and grocery," he wrote on Facebook. While the staff "did the best they could to get the woman out of the store as fast as possible," he said, the health department had to help disinfect the store, and the "twisted prank" resulted in the loss of $35,000 worth of food. The Philadelphia Inquirer reports the Luzerne County District Attorney's Office has charged Chirko with threatening to use weapons of mass destruction and making terroristic threats. It is not known whether the woman has COVID-19. [The Philadelphia Inquirer, 3/26/2020]

Police in Las Cruces, New Mexico, who approached a woman driving a stolen car on March 7 were surprised when she identified herself as pop singer Beyonce Knowles, according to police documents. The Las Cruces Sun News reported officers had to use a fingerprint scanner to properly identify Surena Henry, 48. Henry at first ignored police when they tried to pull her over, according to court documents, but they followed her to her home, where she got out of the car but refused to give them her name. She was charged with stealing the vehicle, concealing her identity and resisting arrest. [Las Cruces Sun News, 3/10/2020]

Update

News of the Weird reported in July 2017 about Jeff Reitz of Huntington Beach, California, who at that time had just achieved his 2,000th visit to Disneyland in Anaheim. Since then, Reitz, 47, has continued his daily visits -- until March 13, when Disney closed its theme parks in response to the COVID-19 outbreak. Reitz was just short of 3,000 visits, the Orange County Register reported, at 2,995. "The streak's been ended," Reitz said. He does not plan to continue his consecutive streak when the park reopens. "On the negative side, I didn't get to choose the end," he said. "But on the positive side, I didn't have to choose the end." While he's practicing social isolation, Reitz plans to watch some movies on ... you guessed it, Disney Plus. [Orange County Register, 3/17/2020]

People Are Good

Just a few hours after Harris County, Texas, declared that all bars and nightclubs would have to close on March 16, an anonymous diner at Irma's Southwest restaurant in downtown Houston did their best to help out. The customer, who left a $9,400 tip, wrote on the receipt: "Hold tip to pay your guys over the next few weeks." United Press International said Irma's will split the tip among the employees, giving them each about $300. [United Press International, 3/17/2020]

I Hate When That Happens

Sage Aaron Cummins, 24, of Gallup, New Mexico, woke up one recent morning and found he had two TVs in his room that had not been there the day before. Two days later, he found out an acquaintance was missing two TVs and put two and two together. According to Gallup police, Cummins returned to the victim's apartment with the goods and approached an officer who was there investigating the burglary report. He told the officer he had been "very intoxicated" when he knocked on a door that evening and, when no one answered, he entered the home, but he didn't remember what happened after that. Cummins told police he "wanted to make things right and return the stolen items," according to the Associated Press. Nevertheless, he was arrested and charged with receiving stolen property. [Associated Press, 3/18/2020]

Awesome!

When Alexandria Miller, 28, of Chicago, Illinois, won a two-inch goldfish at a carnival in July 2018, she assumed he would stay the same size. But since then, Gerald the goldfish has grown to be 12 inches long, and Miller has spent $1,300 upgrading his tanks to accommodate him (she's already looking for a bigger one). And, the Mirror reported, Gerald is not shy about getting his needs met. "He does lay around a lot, but it seems when he's bored or hungry, he jumps out of the water and likes to grab the thermometer inside his tank," Miller said. "He'll click it against the glass till he's got our attention." But, she went on, "If I put a smaller fish in there with him, he will eat them." [Mirror, 3/17/2020]

Signs of the Times

-- During the COVID-19 crisis, some people in Japan have resorted to pilfering toilet paper from public restrooms when the rolls became unavailable in stores. One convenience store worker put the power of the supernatural to work against such thefts. Mink Itachibe, who works at a store in the Niigata prefecture, hung signs with images of eyes and kanji characters in front of the toilet paper to curse the tempting rolls. "I did it as a joke, but it seems to have worked," she told CNN. The symbols imply that if someone nips TP from the store, a hungry monster will hunt them down and gobble them up. "People can be quite superstitious in Japan," Itachibe said. [CNN, 3/12/2020]

-- Add to the list of things not to leave in plain sight in your car: toilet paper. Police in Eugene, Oregon, stated that on March 15, a thief shattered the entire back window of an SUV in order to get his mitts on two 30-roll cases of toilet paper, along with other valuables, the Blaze reported. "Anytime vehicles are left unattended for extended periods of time, local thieves view it as a favorable opportunity," police reminded Oregonians. [Blaze, 3/19/2020]

Compelling Explanation

Slidell, Louisiana, police pulled over a driver on Feb. 27 for an undisclosed reason, but the car's license plate really got their attention. The tag had expired in September 1997 -- more than 20 years ago -- the Miami Herald reported. "Sorry, officer," police said the man told them. "I've been busy lately and totally forgot to renew my vehicle registration. I will take care of it as soon as I get home!" Slidell police posted the incident to their Facebook page, commenting: "For those of you who like to 'switch tags,' at least give us a good challenge." [Miami Herald, 3/5/2020]

Government in Action

In 1993, Alabama banned yoga in public schools under a general prohibition of the use of "hypnosis and dissociative mental states." Now, Rep. Jeremy Gray has proposed a bill that would let schools offer yoga as an elective class, but religious groups are expected to fight it. "It's the Hindu religion," said Joe Godfrey of the Alabama Citizens Action Program. But Gray is hoping the general acceptance of yoga will prevail. "I really don't see what the big deal is," he told NBC News. "I mean, my wife does this, my mother does this on the floor of her Methodist church." [NBC News, 3/6/2020]

Florida

Cody Hicks, 23, was reportedly driving erratically and crashed into another car on March 13 in Manatee County, Florida -- in itself, not weird. But what he did next perplexed the two young women in the car and onlookers. According to the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, Hicks emerged from his vehicle, pulled down his pants and underwear, and fondled himself while sticking out his tongue at witnesses. ClickOrlando.com reported deputies said Hicks would only tell them, "I want my lawyer." He was arrested for a lewd and lascivious exhibition and entered a plea of not guilty. [ClickOrlando.com, 3/19/2020]

Ah, Snap

PSA: The Deerfield, Michigan, American Legion has been forced by COVID-19 restrictions to cancel its annual testicle-eating festival, which was to take place on March 21. The big event, which draws 2,000 locals and visitors to Deerfield every year, offers deep-fried cattle genitals (also known as mountain oysters) and chicken gizzards, Metro reported. "So many people look forward to coming to Deerfield during this time of year," said organizer Nick Pulver, "[but] I think we made the best decision to delay it." Organizers hope to postpone it to May 9. The 300 pounds of delectables that were ordered for the festival have been frozen. [Metro, 3/19/2020]