Vaev, a Los Angeles-based internet startup, is offering consumers the "luxury to choose" when to become sick with a cold, gushes 34-year-old Oliver Niessen, the company's founder. For $79.99, Vaev will send you a box containing a petri dish, which houses a facial tissue used by a sick person. Niessen explained to Time magazine that the recipient wipes their nose with the provided tissue and contracts a cold virus to get it out of the way before, say, leaving on a vacation. But Charles Gerba, professor of microbiology at the University of Arizona, debunked Niessen's theory: "There are more than 200 types of rhinoviruses ... getting inoculated from one doesn't protect you against all the others." He adds that Vaev's customers will never know what exactly is on the provided tissues, which Niessen says are produced by a "stable" of 10 go-to sneezers, some recruited on the internet. Still, Neissen claims to have sold about 1,000 used tissues, although the company's website currently shows the product as sold out. "We've had some supply-chain issues," Niessen said, without offering details. [Time, 1/18/2019]

Gift With Purchase

A shopper at a Primark store in Essex, England, was startled to discover a human bone in a sock on Dec. 10. Essex police reassured the public that the bone "did not appear to be a result of recent trauma," and it did not have any skin attached to it, according to Sky News. A Primark spokesman said the company is checking with its supplier, and "No evidence of any kind exists to suggest that any incident has occurred in the factory, so it is highly probable that this object was placed in the sock by an individual for unknown reasons." [Sky News, 1/25/2019]

Police Report

A motorist in New Canaan, Connecticut, called police on Jan. 23 after spotting a woman stopped at an intersection in the driver's seat of her car with her eyes closed. When officers arrived, they found Stefanie Warner-Grise, 50, "unable to answer basic questions," according to the arrest report. They "detected an odor of vanilla coming from her breath (and) her speech was slurred. ... In addition, several bottles of pure vanilla extract were located inside the vehicle." The Hour reported Warner-Grise failed field sobriety tests and she was charged with driving under the influence of vanilla extract. The Food and Drug Administration requires that pure vanilla extract must be at least 35 percent alcohol, which makes it 70 proof. [The Hour, 1/24/2019]

It's Good to Have Goals

Pavol Durdik added another Guinness world record to his collection Aug. 3 in Puchov, Slovakia by extinguishing 62 lighted matches with his tongue within one minute, according to United Press International. In a video posted by Guinness World Records on Jan. 25, Durdik had the matches laid out in front of him and lighted each one before putting it out on his tongue. He also holds the record for most socks put on one foot within 30 seconds. [UPI, 1/28/2019]

Gutsy

So much for advanced Russian security. As art lovers browsed an exhibition at Moscow's Tretyakov Gallery on Jan. 27, Euro News reported, a thief nonchalantly strolled in, plucked a 1908 landscape by Arkhip Kuindzhi off the wall, and walked out of the building. Police quickly viewed surveillance video and arrested a 31-year-old man, who admitted he hid the painting, worth an estimated $185,000, in an unfinished building nearby. The gallery was able to recover the painting and announced that "security measures have been reinforced ... at all venues of the Tretyakov Gallery." [Euro News, 1/28/2019]

Least Competent Criminal

Police in Austin, Texas, caught up with 19-year-old suspect Luca P. Mangiarano on Jan. 24, a month after a bank robbery in large part because of his choice in getaway vehicles. According to police, Mangiarano stepped into the BBVA Compass bank on Dec. 18 and handed a note to a teller, reading: "This is a robbery, please give me all your 100's and 50's in a envelope and everything will be ok." The employee did as directed and the robber left the building, then hopped on a Jump electric scooter and took off down the sidewalk. He perhaps failed to consider that the scooters are linked to GPS tracking systems and online accounts with phone numbers, email addresses and credit card information, which, after police obtained them from Jump, led them to Mangiarano. Austin Detective Jason Chiappardi told The Washington Post: "We had never had a scooter involved in a robbery." [Washington Post, 1/29/2019]

Bright Idea

Outdoorsman Scott Ritchie of Loveland, Colorado, has a new lease on life thanks to 3D printing. Ritchie, 52, was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer in early 2018 after noticing pain in his hip after fly-fishing. CBS4 in Denver reported Dr. Ronald Hugate of the Panorama Orthopedics and Spine Center in Highlands Ranch took an aggressive and creative approach to treating Ritchie: He made a 3D virtual model of Ritchie's pelvis, then designed an implant to exactly replace the area of bone that would have to be surgically removed. Made of titanium, the implant was produced using a 3D printer. Two weeks later after surgery, Ritchie was walking with crutches and is expected to walk on his own in a few weeks more, although he was warned he might have a limp. "If I do have a limp, it's better than nothing," Ritchie said. [CBS4, 1/28/2019]

Uh, No

On Jan. 29, the Chenoa (Illinois) Police Department put a call out for volunteers to help with a training session taking place that evening. "Officers are undergoing their annual Taser training tonight ... and are looking for members of the public who are willing to volunteer for the experience," announced WEEK-TV. Volunteers were required to sign an "exposure waiver" in order to participate, but it was unclear whether the Tasers would be live. [25 News, 1/29/2019]

Ewwww!

Penny Pospisil, 47, of Sumter County, Florida, was arrested on Jan. 25 for the alleged murder of her boyfriend, 55-year-old Anthony Mitchell, according to WFTV. Investigators believe that last August, in the Lake Pan RV Village where Pospisil and Mitchell lived, she killed Mitchell and cut his body into pieces, living with the remains in their camper. When neighbors asked about him, she explained that Mitchell had died of natural causes and she had him cremated. But they also noticed a foul odor coming from the camper and that Pospisil was regularly showering at the pool. When police arrived in December to investigate her overdue lot fee, she told them that she was a victim of domestic violence and had killed Mitchell in self-defense. She faces charges of second-degree murder and abuse of a dead human body. [WFTV, 1/28/2019]

Blame It on the Meth

Debra Lynn Johnson, 69, of Searles, Minnesota, suffered from heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure and mental illnesses, according to the Mankato Free Press, and was a patient at a transitional care center before her husband took her home to have a "death party," he later told authorities. Brown County sheriff's officers responding to a 911 call from Duane Arden Johnson, 58, on Jan. 24 found the words "Death Parde God Hell" spray-painted on the front door. Duane came out of the house naked, yelled that his wife was dead and ran back inside, where officers found him in the bathtub picking "things" from his skin. Debra's body, still warm, was wrapped in a sheet. Duane told police his wife had begged him to take her home to die, so they had staged the party, "rocking out" to Quiet Riot's "Metal Health" and taking methamphetamines. After her death, Duane said he washed and wrapped her "like the Bible told me to do." Police found stolen guns and hundreds of rounds of ammunition in the home, and Duane was charged with felony counts of theft and receiving stolen property. [Mankato Free Press, 1/26/2019]

-- Because white shoes are so distracting when you're lining up your putt? According to Time magazine, Nike will be mowing over the competition with its new Air Max 1 golf shoes, which feature uppers covered with a green material that resembles grass. Matching green laces will further disguise your dogs as you play a round, but lest you think you'll disappear altogether, fear not: The trademark Nike swoosh on the sides is bright white. The sneakers, yet to be released, are expected to retail for $140. [Time, 1/14/2019]

-- Just when you thought there was nothing new under the blue jeans sun: A Ukrainian designer is asking $377 for a pair of jeans that have one fitted leg and one flared leg. Ksenia Schnaider, who calls her design the Asymmetric Jean, told DazedDigital.com: "It's good to get people talking, and they're definitely going to make people turn their heads as you walk by!" [DazedDigital.com, 1/11/2019]

People With(out) Issues

Rachel Childs, 29, of Pearland, Texas, is not autistic and doesn't have a twin autistic sister, according to the Houston Chronicle. Nevertheless, she hired a caregiver for her (fake) twin sister who is (not) autistic. The elaborate plot, which played out in early January, involved the caregiver picking up the "twin" at Childs' house and taking her to the caregiver's home, where he was hired to care for her overnight. But when Childs' "twin" exhibited sexual conduct toward the caregiver, he became suspicious and investigated Childs, then contacted police. Childs was charged with burglary of a habitation with intent to commit assault and indecent exposure. [Houston Chronicle, 1/17/2019]

Precocious

-- Employees of John J. Murphy Elementary School in Round Lake Park, Illinois, were surprised on Jan. 9 when a car drove into the drop-off lane and an 11-year-old student exited the driver's seat. Witnesses alerted police, who issued an arrest warrant for the front-seat passenger, 31-year-old Khafilu M. Oshodi of Round Lake, for two counts of child endangerment; a 9-year-old was riding in the back seat. Police Chief George Filenko told the Lake County News-Sun the situation could have "resulted in any number of tragic scenarios." The children have been placed with other relatives, and police are still looking for Oshodi. [Lake County News-Sun, 1/21/2019]

-- Alijah Hernandez of Houston is a skilled barber in her father's shop, reported KTRK-TV on Jan. 17 -- which wouldn't ordinarily be newsworthy. But Alijah is only 7 years old. Her dad, Franky, says she's been watching him since she was a toddler and started perfecting her skills three years ago. For her part, Alijah says cutting hair comes naturally to her; she practices on friends and family (with her dad supervising) and has already faced off in barber competitions across Texas. [KTRK, 1/17/2019]

What's That up in the Sky?

-- The rare super blood wolf moon of Jan. 20 was so captivating to some skywatchers on Florida's Ponte Vedra Beach, that they didn't notice when the tide rolled in and waterlogged their Honda CRV. The St. Johns County Sheriff's Office told News4Jax the occupants were able to get out of the car and move to safety, although the vehicle itself wasn't recovered until the next day. A photo showed water up to the windshield on the front end. [News4Jax, 1/21/2019]

-- Meanwhile, in West Palm Beach, Florida, two unnamed 24-year-olds chose to view the Jan. 20 eclipse by lying prone in the middle of a dark road near the Apoxee Wilderness Trail. Which would have worked out fine, except around 11:30 p.m. a West Palm Beach police officer patrolling the area ran over the pair. Fortunately, reported the South Florida Sun Sentinel, he was cruising at just 5 mph, and the human speed bumps sustained only non-life-threatening injuries. The officer was put on paid administrative leave while the incident was investigated. [Sun-Sentinel, 1/21/2019]

Terrifying Technology

Laura Lyons of Orinda, California, was in her kitchen on the afternoon of Jan. 20 when a loud alert noise blared in the living room, followed by a detailed warning from "Civil Defense" that intercontinental ballistic missiles were on their way from North Korea to Los Angeles, Chicago and Ohio. Lyons told the San Jose Mercury News the message warned residents they had three hours to evacuate. As she and her husband absorbed the news, they realized it had come from their Nest security camera -- not from the TV, where the Rams-Saints game was proceeding as normal, and news channels were not reporting anything unusual. "It was five minutes of sheer terror," she said. The Lyonses called 911 and then Nest, where a supervisor told them they had been victims of a "third-party hack" on their camera and speakers. [San Jose Mercury News, 1/22/2019]

Self-Medicating

When a 33-year-old unnamed Irish man was admitted to a Dublin hospital with swelling in his right forearm and a rash, he surprised the attending physician with the "cure" he had been using for his back pain. For a year and a half, reported Canoe.com on Jan. 16, the man had been injecting his own semen into his right forearm. X-rays revealed a pool of the fluid under his skin, which had become infected. "He had devised this 'cure' independent of any medical advice," noted Dr. Lisa Dunne in the Irish Medical Journal. He also told Dr. Dunne that his back pain had worsened after lifting a heavy metal object. [canoe.com, 1/16/2019]

Latest Religious Messages

British retailer Marks & Spencer is in hot water with Muslims who claim the store's brand of toilet paper is embossed with the Arabic symbol for the word "God." An unnamed man posted a video to social media displaying a roll of M&S Aloe Vera 3-ply tissue and urging his Muslim brothers and sisters to avoid buying it or boycott the store altogether. Metro News reports that in response, Marks & Spencer says the symbol is of an aloe vera leaf: "The motif on the aloe vera toilet tissue, which we have been selling for over five years, is categorically of an aloe vera leaf, and we have investigated and confirmed this with our suppliers." [Metro News, 1/22/2019]

Keep That to Yourself

Dennis Palmer, 31, appeared to be guilty of more than TMI on Jan. 10 when police were called to a Walmart in Stuart, Florida. TCPalm.com reported that Palmer was in the pillow aisle when he was seen exposing and touching himself inappropriately. Palmer told police "he was just itching himself because he has crabs." But surveillance video recorded Palmer indulging in "rubbing" and activities other than scratching; "this continued for several minutes," the affidavit stated. When police asked Palmer what he was thinking, he replied that "he wasn't thinking, but he should have been thinking." He was jailed for exposure of sexual organs. [TCPalm.com, 1/22/2019]

When Victoria Amith, 18, headed to college last fall, she couldn't take along her beloved cats, Tina and Louise. And her dad, Troy Good, 43, couldn't keep them at his new apartment in San Jose, California. So rather than abandon them, Good did what any doting daddy would do: He rented them an apartment of their own. Tina and Louise now live the good life in a 400-square-foot studio apartment behind the Willow Glen home of David Callisch, who told The San Jose Mercury News: "They're very quiet, obviously. The only problem is they stink up the place." Good pays $1,500 a month rent, and Callisch stops in every day to feed and play with the kitties. Sounds puuuurrrr-fect. [San Jose Mercury News, 1/14/2019]

Recurring Themes

-- The first clue for police that Craig Wistar, 51, of Warren, Ohio, shouldn't have been driving was that he was behind the wheel of a car facing east in a westbound lane around 2 a.m. on Dec. 4. The second was the woman in the back seat, who mouthed "Help me" to officers as they questioned Wistar, who had a bottle of vodka at his feet. When asked what he was doing, Wistar replied, "I'm Ubering," reported WFMJ-TV. Officers moved the passenger to their patrol car and administered a field sobriety test, during which Wistar admitted, "I'm plastered. I'm talking hammered. I confess I'm drunk." Wistar's Uber passenger got a ride home from police, and he pleaded guilty on Jan. 14 to driving under the influence. Most important, he will no longer be able to drive for ride-sharing apps. [WFMJ, 1/15/2019]

-- Sunita Jairam, 48, of Lexington, Kentucky, was arrested for driving under the influence at about 1 a.m. on Jan. 13, which she explained to police by saying she did it for her son. According to the Lexington Herald Leader, Jairam told police she had been drinking all day and "drank a bunch of beer and got in her car to drive to teach her son a lesson." Her son, whose age was not reported, told police he had tried several times to get out of the BMW X1 "due to his mother's driving," but the doors were locked. Jairam was also charged with endangering the welfare of a minor. [Lexington Herald Leader, 1/13/2019]

-- In the category of Straining Logic, Jana Moschgat's defense attorney suggested at her drunk-driving hearing on Jan. 8 in Berwick, Pennsylvania, that the results of her breath test might have been compromised by the fact that, according to the arresting officer, she was nibbling on her coat before the test was administered. Moschgat, 47, smelled of alcohol, the officer testified, and failed a field sobriety test; her blood alcohol level was tested at 0.151 percent, almost twice the legal limit. Attorney Travis Petty questioned the officer about his knowledge of the fabric content of her coat, reported The (Bloomsburg) Press Enterprise, saying certain materials can alter the results of breath tests. The judge wasn't buying the argument and sent the case to trial. [Press Enterprise via TribLive.com, 1/10/2019]

Promises, Promises

On Jan. 1, Curtis Brooner filed a lawsuit claiming a Burger King in Wood Village, Oregon, reneged on its promise following a traumatic incident on Dec. 15. KATU-TV reports Brooner was having lunch at the fast-food joint that day when he became locked in the restroom. Employees provided him with a flyswatter to use to wrench the door open, but Brooner cut his hand on it, and the lawsuit says employees laughed at Brooner from the other side of the door. It wasn't until an hour later, when a locksmith arrived, that he was set free. "To make things right," said Brooner's attorney, Michael Fuller, "the Burger King manager offered (Brooner) free food for the rest of his life" at that restaurant -- and followed through for a few weeks. But eventually the regional manager stepped in and ended it. Brooner's suit seeks damages of $9,026.16 -- the price of one burger meal per week for the next 22 years. "There are funny elements of the case," Fuller told KATU, "but there is nothing funny about being locked in a dank bathroom for an hour." [KATU, 1/3/2019]

Great Art!

Namibian artist Max Siedentopf, 27, has placed an installation in the ancient Namib Desert, consisting of six speakers attached to an MP3 player projecting the song "Africa" by Toto -- over and over and over, for all eternity. The song, released in 1982, has enjoyed a resurgence of popularity, and was one of Spotify's "Top Throwback Songs" in 2018. Siedentopf told the BBC that solar batteries will keep the song playing forever: "I wanted to pay the song the ultimate homage and physically exhibit 'Africa' in Africa ... but I'm sure the harsh environment of the desert will devour the installation eventually." [BBC, 1/14/2019]

Inexplicable

Mmmm, breakfast! Around 7 a.m. on Jan. 6, at a McDonald's in San Francisco, a man carried a dead raccoon into the restaurant and lay it on a table, then sat down with it. Restaurant patron Chris Brooks captured the spectacle on Facebook Live, recording as the man stood from his seat and walked around the restaurant, talking with people. Another man, wearing gloves, then picked the raccoon up by its tail and took it outside to a garbage can, trailing blood on the floor. Fox News reported San Francisco police responded to the restaurant and released the unidentified raccoon owner after speaking with him. McDonald's closed the store immediately and reopened two hours later after sanitizing the dining room. One patron wrote on Twitter: "I've seen worse than a dead raccoon at that same McDonald's." [Fox News, 1/10/2019]

Love Gone Wrong

It was love at first ... arrest, for 27-year-old Ashley Keister of Nanticoke, Pennsylvania, when she was apprehended by a West Wyoming, Pennsylvania, police officer last year. Ever since, Police Chief Curtis Nocera told the Associated Press, Keister had been harassing the officer with sexual messages on social media and would call 911 just to talk with him. On Jan. 7, police said, Keister took her infatuation a step further, using a large cigarette butt receptacle to break through the door of the West Wyoming police station around 1 a.m., where she rummaged through filing cabinets. Keister was caught on surveillance video and was charged with aggravated assault on a police officer, burglary and vandalism. [Associated Press, 1/10/2019]

Crime Report

Isaias Garcia, 30, of Garland, Texas, pleaded guilty in a Bridgeport, Connecticut, courtroom on Jan. 10 to reduced charges stemming from a bizarre kidnapping scheme last April. Garcia had abducted a 21-year-old Fairfield man and was demanding $800 in ransom, the man's aunt and father reported to police on April 6. Police told the aunt to request a photo to guarantee the young man was still alive, and when the photo arrived by text, ctpost.com reported, it showed the victim lying facedown in a bathtub with a 3-foot-long alligator on top of him, mouth open. In a subsequent phone call, the victim told his aunt: "Titi, man they got this alligator on me and they saying that if no money is given they are gonna have him chewing on me." Police and the FBI were able to trace the phone calls to a hotel room, where Garcia was apprehended. He faces a year in prison. [ctpost.com, 1/10/2019]

Bright Idea

In Williamson County, Texas, Sheriff Robert Chody has employed a new cadre of deputies to help deter speeding. Interestingly, they all look alike. The cardboard cutouts, which Chody has placed along roads where speeding is common, depict one of the department's real-life deputies pointing a radar device at the roadway. "It's a creative way to solve the problem without really working the problem," he told KTCB-TV. "Slow down because you never know if it's the real deal or not," he warned. The sheriff said he tested the idea in school zones and, "We didn't get one speeder." [KTCB TV, 1/10/2019]