As the medal ceremony for the men's 1,000-meter speedskating competition concluded on Feb. 23 at the Gangneung Oval in Pyeongchang, South Korea, "serial streaker" Mark Roberts, 55, of Liverpool, England, jumped the wall and took to the ice. Roberts peeled off his tracksuit to reveal a pink tutu, a "penis pouch" with a monkey face on it, and "Peace + Love" scrawled on his torso. Although he might have lost points for an initial fall, he jumped up and continued performing a dance routine. Metro News recounts that Roberts has streaked at Wimbledon, the French Open and soccer matches, along with dog shows and other large events. He "retired" in 2013, saying "gravity's against me," but apparently he couldn't resist the global exposure of the Olympics. [Metro News, 2/24/2018]

Ironies

As the 2018 Winter Olympics got underway, and athletes from Russia were forced to compete under the Olympic flag and be designated as "Olympic Athletes from Russia" (OAR) as punishment for systemic doping at the 2014 Games in Sochi, Russian bobsledder Nadezhda Sergeeva proudly wore a T-shirt that read "I Don't Do Doping." But on Feb. 23, Sergeeva became the second Russian athlete to fail a doping test. (Russian curler Alexander Krushelnitsky also failed a drug test earlier in the Games.) Sergeeva was a vocal critic of the Olympic policy toward Russian athletes, telling Yahoo Sports, "If we are here, and we are clean, we should be able to walk under our flag." [Yahoo Sports, 2/23/2018]

Suspicions Confirmed

District Judge Joseph Boeckmann, 72, took a personal interest in the young men who came through his courtrooms in Cross and St. Francis counties (Arkansas) from 2009 to 2015 with traffic citations or misdemeanor criminal charges. The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reported that Judge Boeckmann routinely dismissed those charges pending "community service," which Boeckmann would set up through private phone calls with the men, assigning them to provide sexual favors or allow Judge Boeckmann to take pictures of them in "embarrassing positions; positions that he found sexually gratifying," a court document revealed. Boeckmann, of Wynne, Arkansas, admitted to the charges in October and was sentenced Feb. 21 to five years in prison. Prosecutors had agreed to a lesser sentence in light of Boeckmann's age, but U.S. District Judge Kristine Baker ordered the maximum sentence, saying, "(H)e acted corruptly while serving as a judge. That sets his crime apart." [Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, 2/21/2018]

Unclear on the Concept

Washington State University senior Logan Tago, a football linebacker, received WSU's Center for Civic Engagement Fall 2017 Community Involvement award on Feb. 1 for 240 hours of service to the local community, reported the WSU Daily Evergreen -- service he was ordered to give as a stipulation of his sentencing in January 2017 for third-degree assault. In June 2016, The Seattle Times reported, Tago allegedly hit a man with a six-pack of beer and later agreed to a plea deal that called for 30 days in the Whitman County jail, $800 in fines -- and exactly 240 hours of community service. Tago managed to play the final two games of the 2016 season and in all of 2017's 13 games, despite a WSU athletic department policy that prohibits players who are facing a felony charge from playing. [The Daily Evergreen, 2/3/2018]

Compelling Explanations

On Feb. 9, the Texas 3rd Court of Appeals upheld the four-year prison sentence Ralph Alfred Friesenhahn, 65, of San Antonio received after his fourth DWI conviction in 2016, rejecting arguments from his lawyer, Gina Jones of New Braunfels, that the state's legal limit for alcohol concentration discriminates against alcoholics, who have a higher tolerance for liquor. "You're not being punished for being an alcoholic," Sammy McCrary, chief of the felony division for the Comal County criminal district attorney's office told the Austin American-Statesman. "It's the driving that's the problem." [Austin American-Statesman, 2/9/2018]

Special Delivery

At the beginning of February, several residents along a block in Marina, California, were hit by mail thieves. But the criminals probably didn't know what hit them when they stole Rosalinda Vizina's package. SFGate.com reported that Vizina, an entomologist, had ordered 500 live cockroaches for a study she's working on. "I feel a little bad for the roaches in case they got smushed or tossed or something like that," Vizina told KSBW. "For the thieves, I hope they went everywhere," she added. [KSBW, 2/9/2018]

TMI?

On Feb. 20, little Jameson Proctor was born in St. Louis and a radio audience listened in as he came into the world. Cassiday Proctor, co-host of the "Spencer's Neighborhood" show on The Arch in St. Louis, scheduled her C-section right in the middle of drive time and then invited listeners to share the moment when Jameson was born, at 7:45 a.m., through a broadcast phone call. "Our radio show is all about sharing our personal lives," Proctor, 33, told The Telegraph. She also solicited ideas for names from her fans and received more than 400 submissions. "It was not something I wanted to keep private," Proctor said. [The Telegraph, 2/22/2018]

Awesome!

The mining town of Kurri Kurri, Australia, cut loose on Feb. 24 with a new festival to draw visitors: Mullet Fest, a celebration of the infamous hairstyle and those who wear it. Local hairdresser Laura Johnson came up with the idea, which included contests (Junior Mullet and Ladies' Mullet categories, and so forth) and bands (the Stunned Mullets from Karuah). Winner of the junior division prize, Alex Keavy, 12, told The Guardian: "It's not a hairstyle, it's a lifestyle." He pledged to use his $50 prize to buy his girlfriend a pie. More than 180 contestants competed for Best Mullet of Them All. Meryl Swanson, the local Labor MP and a contest judge, said she was "looking for pride, people embracing the mullet, finding self-worth in it." [The Guardian, 2/25/2018]

Can't Possibly Be True

A designer pop-up store in Seattle made news on Feb. 22 for one particular item: a clear plastic, drawstring shopping bag that sells for -- wait for it -- $590. United Press International reported the bag was first seen on Paris runways in January and sports the Celine Paris label along with warnings in several languages about the suffocation risk posed to babies. [United Press International, 2/22/2018]

Close Call

Flemington, New Jersey, cemetery worker Peter Ferencze, 59, was digging a grave at Hanover Cemetery on Feb. 20 when the 800-pound lid of a concrete burial vault fell on top of him, pinning him in the grave. Ferencze was treated and released from Morristown Medical Center after police and other first responders managed to lift the cover with straps, giving Ferencze enough space to squeeze out, the Morristown Daily Record reported. [Morristown Daily Record, 2/21/2018]

Bright Ideas

-- Christina C. Ochoa of Wichita, Kansas, and her mom, Christy L. Ochoa, explained to The Wichita Eagle that more than 50 $5 withdrawals Christina made from a Central National Bank ATM during a five-day period in mid-January were for a "money cake" she was making as a gift for someone. But the bank says the faulty ATM was dispensing $100 bills instead of $5 bills, and that Christina received $14,120 instead of $1,485. In a Jan. 22 lawsuit, the bank seeks $11,607.36, plus interest, it says is owed by Christina. The bank is also trying to seize two cars the Ochoas bought during the same period, claiming that the $3,000 down payment for one of them was made up entirely of $100 bills. [The Wichita Eagle, 2/20/2018]

-- In Boston, trolley driver Thomas Lucey, 46, of Saugus, Massachusetts, was indicted Feb. 21 for paying a man $2,000 to attack him while he was on the job on Oct. 30, 2016, so that Lucey could collect workers' compensation and disability insurance. The "attacker" wore a Halloween mask and carried a plastic pumpkin, from which police obtained fingerprints used to identify him and unravel the scheme, according to The Boston Globe. A grand jury in Suffolk County brought charges of insurance fraud, workers' compensation fraud, misleading a police investigation and perjury. [Boston Globe, 2/22/2018]

Police in Mainz, Germany, responded to an apartment building after cries were heard from within one unit early on Feb. 17, The Associated Press reported. When they arrived, officers found two men, the 58-year-old tenant and a 61-year-old visitor, "hopelessly locked up" with a mannequin dressed as a knight and a large remote-controlled car. The men were too drunk to explain how they had become entangled, and one officer remarked that "the whole thing would have remained a funny episode" if the younger man had not become "more than impolite." He now faces a charge of insulting officers. [Associated Press via The New York Times, 2/17/2018]

People Different From Us

Metro News reported on Feb. 20 that travelers "remained silent" for 20 minutes while a fellow passenger on a Ural Airlines flight from Antalya, Turkey, to Moscow used the air vent above her seat to dry a pair of underwear. Witnesses reported that the woman showed no shame and that "everybody was looking with interest and confusion." Debate raged later, however, after video of the woman was posted online, with one commenter speculating that "maybe the takeoff was sort of extreme, so now she has to dry those." [Metro News, 2/20/2018]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Shanghai, China, police posted a video on social media of two men trying to break into a business on Feb. 14 by using bricks to shatter the glass storefront. But as United Press International reported, when Suspect A's brick bounced off the glass, he bent to retrieve it and ended up squarely in the path of Suspect B's brick, which struck him in the head and apparently knocked him out. In the video, Suspect B can be seen dragging Suspect A away from the store. Police remarked: "If all burglars were like this, we wouldn't need to work overtime." [United Press International, 2/19/2018]

-- A drug smuggler from Brazil apparently didn't know he was under investigation by the National Anti-Narcotics Trafficking Unit in Portugal when he arrived on a flight Feb. 12 wearing a set of false butt cheeks, filled with 2.2 pounds of cocaine, reported United Press International. The 32-year-old unidentified man was detained at the Tax and Customs Authority and searched, where his unusual derriere aroused suspicion. An accomplice, waiting for him at a Lisbon train station, was also arrested and charged with drug trafficking. [United Press International, 2/14/2018]

The Litigious Society

Crestline, California, resident Claudia Ackley, 46, has teamed with "Discovering Bigfoot" filmmaker Todd Standing to sue the state of California, requesting on Jan. 18 that state agencies acknowledge the existence of a Sasquatch species. Ackley and her daughters, 11 and 14, say they were hiking a trail at Lake Arrowhead in March 2017 when they spotted a large figure braced in a pine tree. "I ran into a Sasquatch -- a Bigfoot. We were face to face," Ackley told the San Bernardino Sun. Forest rangers insisted at the time that Ackley and her daughters had seen a bear, and Ackley fears that by not acknowledging the presence of the legendary creatures, the state is putting the public at risk. "People have to be warned about these things," she said. "They are big."

[San Bernardino Sun, 2/14/2018]

Inexplicable

Firefighter Constantinos "Danny" Filippidis, 49, from Toronto, was the subject of a weeklong search by more than 250 people using drones, dogs and helicopters starting Feb. 7, when he disappeared from Whiteface Mountain ski resort in New York's Adirondacks. When he finally turned up in California at the Sacramento International Airport on Feb. 13, he was still dressed in his ski pants and ski boots, and he still had his helmet, along with a new iPhone and a recent haircut. But, according to the Syracuse Post-Standard, Filippidis couldn't tell officers anything about how he had traveled across the country, other than he rode in a "big-rig-style truck" and "slept a lot." The truck dropped him off in downtown Sacramento, but he was unable to explain how he got to the airport. He was taken to an area hospital. [The Syracuse Post-Standard, 2/14/2018]

Compelling Explanation

A woman claiming to be on a mission from God led a Kentucky State Police trooper on a chase at speeds up to 120 mph on Feb. 10, stopping only when another trooper pulled in front of her car. According to the Elizabethtown (Kentucky) News-Enterprise, Connie Lynn Allen, 52, of Goodlettsville, Tennessee, told officers that she was Mother Mary, en route to pick up Baby Jesus, and that God had given her permission to speed. She also said that she had died six years ago. She was charged with several offenses and is being held in Hardin County. [News-Enterprise, 2/12/2018]

Awesome!

Staffers at a Bangor, Maine, day care called Watch Me Shine were happy to receive Valentine's cookies made by a parent -- until those who ate them started to feel high. "Within 15 minutes, teachers were reporting they had concerns about those cookies," Tiffany Nowicki, director of the center, told the Bangor Daily News. About 12 staff members felt the effects of the treats, which were confiscated by the police and are being tested. "If they find something that shouldn't be in those cookies," Nowicki said, "that's a big problem and we'll make sure it's addressed." The day care has instituted a new policy that no outside food can be brought in for the children or staff. [Bangor Daily News, 2/16/2018]

The Continuing Crisis

Donna Walker of Linthwaite, England, just wanted a nice night out to celebrate her 50th birthday; she wasn't anticipating a trip to the emergency room. Walker, along with her husband, Carlton, 45, and their two sons, was waiting for takeout food at the Atlantis restaurant in Holmfirth, West Yorkshire, early on Feb. 18 when a brawl broke out. The Walkers don't know what started the fight, but Carlton told Metro News: "When the fight spilled out of the takeaway, I said to Donna to stay inside. When I turned round my wife was at the doorway being attacked and was covered in blood. My son was being strangled." Donna sustained a 2-inch gash on her forehead and was bitten on the arm by the young woman who attacked her, calling for a tetanus shot and antibiotics. "I wiped my eye and saw all the blood," Donna said. "I had no idea I had been struck." Police were still looking for the attackers at press time. [Metro News, 2/19/2018]

Weird History

Union College in Schenectady, New York, excitedly announced on Feb. 13 that a librarian flipping through the brown pages of a 1793 almanac found a real historical treasure: a lock of President George Washington's hair. Librarian John Myers came upon an envelope with "Washington's hair" written in script on it, and inside, tied with a thread, were several strands of grayish hair. Keith Beutler, associate professor of history at Missouri Baptist University and the author of a book called "Washington's Hair," told The New York Times that in Washington's day, it was not uncommon to exchange locks of hair as remembrances. "Exchanging locks of hair were like the selfies of the day," Beutler said. Experts are examining the almanac and its provenance to determine whether the hair likely belongs to our first president, but in the meantime, college officials are learning how to preserve it. [The New York Times, 2/18/2018]

Animal Antics

At 10 Downing Street in London, Larry the cat is an institution, charged with chasing away mice and offering pet therapy to any willing caressers. Meanwhile, at the Foreign Office, Palmerston the cat serves the same purpose. But Larry and Palmerston have a long-running feud, according to The Telegraph, and on Feb. 16, they went at it again. Jezebel reported that fur was ripped and a collar torn off as the two cats duked it out in the street. Nick Dixon of "Good Morning Britain" said it appeared that Palmerston won this round: "Palmerston seemed to strut out of Downing Street. Larry seemed a bit dazed and confused after the fight." [Jezebel, 2/16/2018]

A North Little Rock, Arkansas, law firm celebrated Valentine's Day in an unconventional way: Wilson & Haubert, PLLC hosted a contest to win a free divorce (a $985 value). "Are you ready to call it quits?" the firm's Facebook post asked. "Do you know someone that is?" Firm co-founder Brandon Haubert told WIS-TV that the firm had received more than 40 entries in the first day it was offered. [WIS-TV, 2/8/2018]

Ewwwww!

About a week after an 11-year-old boy scraped his elbow while playing in a tidal pool on a California beach, pediatricians treating him for the resulting abscess removed a small, hard object and were surprised to discover a live checkered periwinkle marine snail, according to United Press International. Dr. Albert Khait and his colleagues at Loma Linda University wrote in BMJ Case Reports that a snail's egg had apparently become embedded in the boy's skin when he scraped it. The mollusk later hatched inside the abscess. Dr. Khait said the boy took the snail home as a pet, but it did not survive living outside its former home. [United Press International, 2/12/2018]

Blimey!

Michelle Myers of Buckeye, Arizona, suffers from blinding headaches, but it's what happens afterward that until recently had doctors stumped. Myers, who has never been out of the United States, has awakened from her headaches three times in the last seven years with a different foreign accent. The first time it was Irish; the second was Australian, and both lasted only about a week. But Myers' most recent event, which was two years ago, left her with a British accent that she still has. Doctors have diagnosed her with Foreign Accent Syndrome, a rare condition that usually accompanies a neurological event such as a stroke. Myers told ABC-15 that the loss of her normal accent makes her sad: "I feel like a different person. Everybody only sees or hears Mary Poppins." [ABC-15, 2/12/2018]

New World Order

A new golf course at The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch in Seneca, Oregon, will take "the golf experience ... to a new level" in 2018, owner Scott Campbell announced in early February to the website Golf WRX. This summer, golfers will be offered goat caddies to carry clubs, drinks, balls and tees on the resort's short seven-hole challenge course, McVeigh's Gauntlet. "We've been developing an unprecedented caddie training program with our head caddie, Bruce LeGoat," Campbell went on, adding that the professionally trained American Range goats will "work for peanuts." (Rim shot.) [Golf WRX, 2/7/2018]

Update

News of the Weird reported in September on the giant "fatberg" lodged in the sewer system beneath the streets of London. The huge glob of oil, fat, diapers and baby wipes was finally blasted out after nine weeks of work. On Feb. 8, the Museum of London put on display a shoebox-sized chunk of the fatberg, the consistency of which is described by curator Vyki Sparkes as being something like Parmesan cheese crossed with moon rock. "It's disgusting and fascinating," she told the Associated Press. The mini-fatberg is enclosed within three nested transparent boxes to protect visitors from potentially deadly bacteria, the terrible smell -- and the tiny flies that swarm around it. The museum is also selling fatberg fudge and T-shirts in conjunction with the exhibit, which continues until July 1. [Associated Press, 2/8/2018]

Mail Call

The Federal Agency for Environmental Protection in Mexico is investigating a Feb. 7 attempt to express-mail a Bengal tiger cub from Jalisco to Queretaro, reported WDBJ-TV. The cub had been sedated and packed into a plastic container; a dog sniffing for contraband detected it. Wildlife agents said the cub was underweight and dehydrated but otherwise healthy, and its papers were in order. However, because mailing it was considered mistreatment, it was relocated to a wildlife protection center. [WDBJ-TV, 2/9/2018]

Why Not?

Terran Woolley of Hutchinson, Kansas, got a bright idea after he read the bylaws and requirements to become the state's governor. "I was reading some stories about the young teenagers that were entering the governor's race ... and I thought, 'I wonder if ... Angus could run,'" Woolley explained to KWCH-TV. Angus is Woolley's wirehaired vizsla, a four-legged, furry friend of the people who Woolley said would promise soft couches and a "completely anti-squirrel agenda" if elected. Alas, on Feb. 12, the Kansas secretary of state's office dashed Angus' dreams when it declared that despite the fact that there are no specific restrictions against a dog being governor, Angus would be unable to carry out the responsibilities of the office. [KWCH-TV, 2/12/2018]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Kenneth R. Shutes Jr. of New Richmond, Wisconsin, bolted from a midnight traffic stop on Feb. 6, but he didn't make it far before having to call 911 for help. The Twin Cities Pioneer Press reported that Shutes got stuck in a frozen swamp in rural Star Prairie and, after about an hour, became unable to walk as temperatures dipped to minus 8 degrees. Fire and rescue workers removed Shutes from the wooded area, and he was later charged in St. Croix County Circuit Court for failing to obey an officer, marijuana possession and obstructing an officer. Shutes told a deputy he "needed an incident like this because he was making poor decisions in his life." [Twin Cities Pioneer Press, 2/13/2018]

-- Marion County (Florida) sheriff's officials were surprised to get a text from David W. Romig, 52, on Jan. 30 about a murder scene at his home in Dunnellon. The Ocala Star Banner reported that detectives were called to the home after Romig reported an intruder had killed his girlfriend, 64-year-old Sally Kaufmann-Ruff. Some of the evidence they found didn't match Romig's story, and their suspicions were confirmed later in the day when Romig texted a detective, saying, "I think they are going to arrest me" -- a text he meant to send to his wife. On Feb. 12, Romig admitted he may have killed Kaufmann-Ruff. He was charged with homicide, making a false report and tampering with evidence. [Ocala Star Banner, 2/14/2018]

Freak Animal Accident

A helicopter crew contracted by the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources in Wasatch County to track and capture an elk hit a snag of sorts on Feb. 12, according to KUTV. As the crew lowered the aircraft to less than 10 feet above the ground to cast a net over the elk, the animal jumped and hit the tail rotor of the helicopter, causing it to crash. Mike Hadley with DWR said helicopters are used to "capture and collar hundreds of animals every winter and we've never had this happen before." The two crewmen walked away with just scratches and bruises, but the elk was killed. [KUTV, 2/12/2018]

The Stuff of Nightmares

Frank Lyko is a biologist at the German Cancer Research Center in Heidelberg with a narrow field of study: the marbled crayfish. But as Dr. Lyko and his colleagues report in a study published Feb. 5, there's more to the 6-inch crustacean than meets the eye. Until about 25 years ago, this species didn't exist, The New York Times explains. One single, drastic mutation created a whole new species of crayfish -- one that could clone itself. Since then, it has spread across Europe and to other continents and threatened native varieties. The eggs of the crayfish all produce females, which do not need to mate to produce more eggs. Dr. Lyko's DNA research offers new insights into why most animals have sex, because there are so few examples of sex-free species (they don't last long). He admits that the marbled crayfish may last only 100,000 years. "That would be a long time for me personally, but in evolution it would just be a blip on the radar," he said. [The New York Times, 2/5/2018]