Ms. Pixee Fox reported in May that she was recovering nicely from cosmetic rib-removal surgery, performed by one of the few doctors in the world who offers it (Dr. Barry Eppley of Carmel, Indiana). Though she has had more than a dozen "beautifying" procedures, she had trouble finding a surgeon who would agree to take out six "free-floating" ribs (ones not attached to the sternum). Born in Sweden, she gave up a career as a trained electrician to come to the United States to pursue her goal of looking "like a cartoon character" -- which she has surely achieved with her now-16-inch waist. [WRTV (Indianapolis), 5-19-2016]

Triple Crown winner American Pharoah earned an estimated $8.6 million racing but, now retired, could earn as much as $35 million just by having sex. Stallions reportedly can breed into their 20s, and the horse, now barely age 4, will have 175 conquests by the end of this summer, according to a May report by CNBC. One industry worker said Pharoah has put on weight, spends his spare time peaceably eating grass, and "looks more like a relaxed horse." A spokesman for the Kentucky farm now housing Pharoah said he "has proven to be very professional in the breeding shed." [CNBC, 5-2-2016]

The Keystone Fellowship Church in North Wales, Pennsylvania, has a tradition of congregants reserving pew seats by leaving Bibles in place, but worshipper Robert Braxton, 27, was having none of that on April 24 and took a saved seat anyway. Witnesses told Philadelphia's WCAU-TV that when one church member gently tapped Braxton on the shoulder to inform him of the tradition, Braxton snapped at him and became disruptive. Congregant Mark Storms, 46, flashed a gun and confronted Braxton, who punched Storms, adding, "That's not a real gun" and "What are you going to do, shoot me?" Storms, contending that he felt threatened, fired two shots, killing Braxton, and was charged with voluntary manslaughter. [Philly.com, 4-30-2016]

-- The Moscow Times reported in May that bailiffs in Russia's Perm region, employing originality as yet unseen in America in attempting to collect an overdue debt, arrested the debtor's cat. The bailiffs listed the feline's value at the equivalent of $23, and the man came up with that sum the next day and took the cat home. The Federal Bailiffs Service explained that all the other "property" in the apartment was in other people's names. [Moscow Times, 5-6-2016]

-- Shannon Egeland, 41, already convicted in 2014 of running a mortgage-fraud operation during the 2004-2008 real-estate boom, pleaded guilty in May 2016 to the subsequent crime of deliberately having himself shot to gain his judge's sympathy (and to collect on disability insurance he had purchased the week before). Egeland, scheduled to start a 10-year sentence for the 2014 conviction, told the judge he had been assaulted by gunfire when he stopped in traffic to help a pregnant woman, but in reality he had ordered his teenage son to shoot him in the legs with a 20-gauge shotgun. [Associated Press via Yahoo News, 5-11-2016]

(1) German soldiers participating in a four-week NATO exercise in Norway earlier this year apparently had to abort their efforts days earlier than other countries -- because Germany's defense minister, Ursula von der Leyen, had imposed strict rules on overtime pay. Soldiers are to work no more than 41 hours a week, she said, according to revelations by London's Daily Telegraph. (2) Britain's venerable Oxford University issued a formal suggestion to law lecturers recently that they give "trigger warnings" (and allow classroom absences) if the class subject matter might be unpleasant to some students. Complained one frustrated lecturer, "We can't remove sexual offences from the criminal law syllabus -- obviously." [Daily Telegraph, 4-10-2016] [The Independent (London), 5-10-2016]

-- This correction appeared in The New York Times print edition of May 10: "Because of an editing error, an article on Monday (May 9) about a theological battle being fought by Muslim imams and scholars in the West against the Islamic State misstated the Snapchat handle used by Suhaib Webb, one of the Muslim leaders speaking out. It is imamsuhaibwebb, not Pimpin4Paradise786." [New York Times, 5-10-2016]

-- Amateurs: Government agencies trying, legally or not, to hide details from public inquiries under freedom-of-information demands usually resort to indelibly blackening out what they do not want revealed, but the Public Health Agency of Canada recently tried a unique method, according to an Associated Press correspondent. The AP had requested files on the 2014 Ebola outbreak, and, revealed reporter Raphael Satter, the documents finally arrived from the PHA with parts carefully "redacted" -- using "Scotch tape and paper." Satter reported that he got everything the AP had asked for by merely peeling the tape back. (A Dallas Morning News reporter, commenting on Satter's experience, wrote, "Canadians are so nice.") [Toronto Star, 5-17-2016]

King Cove, Alaska, population 923, lies between two massive volcanic mountains on one of the Aleutian Islands, unconnected to other civilization and 625 miles from any medical facility (in Anchorage), "accessible" only by a weather-challenging "puddle-jumper" airplane to Cold Bay for a connecting flight. About two-thirds of the residents have flying anxieties so severe that King Cove has a makeshift vending machine dispensing Valium. U.S. Sen. Lisa Murkowski has campaigned to build a road to Cold Bay to eliminate the nerve-wracking flights, but it would disturb a federally protected wilderness, and the U.S. Interior Department has so far declined. (Unconsidered: Channel the late Sam Kinison, who implored starving Ethiopians to just "mo-o-o-ove!" since food doesn't grow in the desert.) [Alaska Dispatch News, 4-14-2016]

-- Michael Blevins, 37, reported to Florida Hospital in Orange City (near Daytona Beach) in May after finally realizing, three days after the fact, that he had shot himself while cleaning his handgun. He said he was on pain medication and besides, was wearing a black shirt that obscured blood stains. He said he had felt a sharp pain but that, mainly, it had aggravated his back injury, causing him to fall and hit his head against a coffee table, and thus was not aware of the origin of the loud noise the .22-caliber handgun made. Deputies investigated briefly but closed the case. [Daytona Beach News-Journal, 5-10-2016] -- Charles Richardson, 35, was arrested at the Beachcomber Hotel in St. Pete Beach in May after he had accidentally locked himself out of his room but broken back in by shooting the lock with his handgun. [BayNews9.com (St. Petersburg), 5-19-2016]

Annual Chinese "Tombsweeping" celebrations have made News of the Weird several times, most recently in 2008 when the government reinstated it as an official holiday. (Traditionally, people brought jewelry and other valuables to ancestors' gravesites for burial with the body, thus theoretically "enriching" the relative's afterlife.) In recent years, during economic turbulence, some brought only paper images of valuables (or just left signed checks -- "generous" checks!). Now, a retail market has developed of ultra-cheap knock-off upscale items, such as fake Gucci shoes, computers, big-screen TV sets, and even one full-size "air-conditioner" (because, perhaps, it may be "hot" where the deceased is headed?). A Hong Kong representative for Gucci has issued warnings against trademark abuse, even though the flimsy fakes are hardly convincing. [New York Times, 5-5-2016]

The 547-acre FBI Academy on the grounds of the Quantico (Virginia) Marine Base houses a firing range on which about a million bullets a month are shot by agents in training, but it also happens to be a de facto wildlife refuge for the simple fact that the academy is off-limits to Virginia hunters. Thus, according to a December (2011) ABC News dispatch, deer learn that, despite the gunfire (sometimes at astonishingly close range as they wander by the targets), none of them ever gets hit. The academy has also become a "sanctuary" for foxes, wild turkeys and other critters. [ABC News, 12-26-2011]

Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign announced they had recently (a first, they claimed) transmitted high-speed digital data through slabs of pork loin and beef liver. The signal cleared the muscle and gristle so cleanly that it permitted streaming of high-definition video -- enough to watch Netflix, said the lead researcher. (Actually, the advance is crucial in that it allows a patient to swallow a transmitter and for physicians to monitor inner workings of the body in real time and externally control implanted devices such as cranial sensors and defibrillators.) [Engineering at Illinois press release, 4-18-2016]

-- Religious leaders associated with the "quiverfull" ministry announced intentions for a November retreat this year in Wichita, Kansas, at which parents will meet to plan "arranged" Christian marriages for their prepubescent daughters, to maximize the future couples' childbearing potential -- supposedly the No. 1 priority of all females. Quiverfull activist Vaughn Ohlman has written that female fertility is optimal during their teens (actually, just after age 12) and drops off in their 20s. The local district attorney, queried by The Wichita Eagle, said such marriages are legal as long as all parties consent -- but Ohlman has maintained that the Bible does not require the bride's consent if her father has given his. [Wichita Eagle, 5-5-2016]

-- Apparently, Japanese taste buds easily become bored, for manufacturers seem eager to create extravagant food combinations to satisfy them that might prove daunting to most Americans. The latest exhibit: the familiar Kit Kat chocolate-coated wafer -- but with the taste of ripe melon and cheese (specifically, "Hokkaido Melon With Mascarpone Cheese"). As Japanese foodies know, Kit Kats in Japan come in at least 15 coatings, according to a 2013 review by Kotaku.com, including Edamame Soybean, Purple Sweet Potato, Hot Japanese Chili, Matcha-Green Tea, Wasabi and Red Bean Sandwich. [London Daily Mirror, 5-2-2016] [Kotaku.com, 2- 11-2013]

-- The Daily Pakistan newspaper, covering the Anti-Terrorism Court in Karachi in April, reported that a judge in Courtroom III asked a constable if he knew how the grenade entered into evidence worked. Rather than assume that an explanation was requested, the constable pulled the pin to demonstrate, and the resulting explosion injured the constable, a court clerk and another police officer. The constable is said to be facing severe discipline as soon as he recovers. [Daily Pakistan, 4-11-2016]

-- Great Britain's prisoners claiming to be adherents of the ancient Celtic pagan religion are allowed, under rules from the National Offender Management Services, to be excused from jailhouse routines to celebrate four festivals, including (of course) the Festival of the Lactating Sheep. Although "Skyclad," or naked worship, is forbidden, prisoners can wear the silver pagan ring (to avoid "distress") and are permitted their own chalices, crystals, "worry beads," pentagram necklaces, hoodless robes and flexible twig-wands. [Daily Express (London), 4-14-2016]

-- An Israeli man (unidentified in press reports) petitioned the Haifa Magistrate's Court recently for a restraining order against God, pointing out that the Almighty has exhibited (according to a May Times of Israel report) "a seriously negative attitude toward him," especially over the previous three years. The judge rejected the petition even though God was not present to argue against it (or at least His presence could not be detected). [Times of Israel, 5-4-2016]

(1) In the latest ruling on a familiar theme, a court in Modena, Italy, ordered a father to continue paying living expenses for his son, age 28, who had meandered through a degree in literature but now has decided to seek another, in experimental cinema. (Almost two-thirds of Italians aged 18 to 34 still live with their parents.) (2) In Beijing, an elderly couple secured a court order in March forcing their 36-year-old daughter finally to move out after she had refused for years. The couple admitted to the Beijing Morning Post that they might have pampered her excessively over the years, even lending her the equivalent of $23,000 to buy a house. (Still, she stayed.) [Daily Telegraph (London), 4-27-2016] [Shanghaiist.com, 3-30-2016]

Gynecologists interviewed by The New York Times for an April report said they were baffled by the recent increase in teenage girls demanding cosmetic surgery on the external folds of their vulvas -- since there is rarely a medical need and the safety of the operation on young girls has not been demonstrated. Some doctors called the "need" just an extreme example of teen girls' beauty obsessions and suggested the presence in some girls of the psychiatric malady of "body dysmorphic disorder," in which a person imagines or exaggerates a physical characteristic. (The phenomenon is different from the "vaginal rejuvenation" requested by older women, especially after childbirth, because that involves tightening internal tissue.) [New York Times, 4-26-2016]

(1) Houston's KHOU-TV revealed in May that the French teacher at the Houston school district's Energy Institute High School doesn't speak French (but did take one year of it, in high school). (2) The Sheldon school district near Houston admitted in May that a 7-year-old student at Sheldon Elementary had written her own successful "please excuse Rosabella early" note (using lettering typical of 7-year-olds) and was allowed to go home instead of attending her after-school program. (3) School police at Christa McAuliffe Middle School in Houston threatened to arrest a 13-year-old girl during the last school year because they were unaware that the girl's $2 bill (cafeteria payment) was valid U.S. currency. [KHOU-TV, 5-3-2016] [KTRK-TV (Houston), 5-3-2016] [KTRK-TV, 4-28-2016]

(1) In April, police in Brighton, Ontario, responded to what was reported by neighbors as a domestic dispute, involving shrieks like, "I hope you die!" They found only a man "arguing" with his pet parrot (who the man said was "beaking off" at him). No arrests were made. (2) Kayvon Mavaddat, 28, was arrested in Natick, Massachusetts, as police enforced three arrest warrants. He had been on the loose until May 6, when he politely (inadvisedly) held open a door at Natick Mall for a police officer who, in that brief moment, thought he recognized Mavaddat. Checking his cruiser's computer, he found the warrants, went back inside and arrested Mavaddat. [CTV News (Barrie), 4-22-2016] [Metro West Daily (Framingham, Mass.), 5-9-2016]

Timothy Trammell, 36, was arrested on several charges in Jonesville, South Carolina, in May after a sheriff's deputy spotted him spray-painting a car that was not his. According to the deputy's report, Trammell had just finished angrily painting "C-h-e-e-t-e-r" (sic) on the car (belonging to a woman, identified in a WSPA-TV report as his girlfriend). [WSPA-TV (Spartanburg), 5-9-2016]

(1) In April in Oslo district court, Norway's most notorious terrorist, Anders Behring Breivik (77 killed in 2011), prevailed in his complaint against prison treatment and was awarded the equivalent of about $41,000. The prison (part of a system generally regarded as the world's most inmate-friendly) was found to violate Breivik's human rights by restricting his outside contacts and excessively restraining and strip-searching him. (He had also complained of poor food choices.) (2) The Veterans Affairs hospital in Tomah, Wisconsin, among the system's most troubled (in personnel issues, falsifying reports and overdependence on patient opiod use), is reportedly working on a "100-day plan" for reform and recently posted a job opening -- for interior decorator ($77,000 position, doctoral degree) to, presumably, improve everyone's attitude. [Washington Post, 4-21-2016] [Daily Caller, 4-27-2016]

Fine Points of the Law: In February (2012), a jury in Thousand Oaks, California, acquitted Charles Hersel, 41, of child molestation. Though Hersel admitted through his lawyer that he had paid high school students to spit in his face and yell profanities at him, and had offered kids money to urinate and defecate on him, jurors found that, regardless of why he felt the need to do those things, it must not have been for reasons of "sexual gratification" and therefore, technically, was not a violation of the particular law under which he was charged. [KTLA-TV (Los Angeles, 2-21-2012]

Google filed a U.S. Patent Office application on April 28 for a vision-improvement device in liquid form that, once inserted (i.e., injected directly into the eyeball!), solidifies into not only a lens replacement for the eye but an instrument that carries its own storage, radio and wireless power supply. The idea, according to inventor Andrew Jason Conrad, is to better focus light onto the retina. (The patent process does not assure that the device will ever come to fruition, but it might indicate that Google's parent, Alphabet, is concerned that other inventors might be doing similar work.) [Forbes.com, 4-28-2016]

-- Before new parents ruin their baby daughter's chances of future success by giving her "weak" names (such as Polly), they should consult one of several services that recommend more powerful ones (such as Elizabeth). A New York City woman offers personalized naming research for fees starting at several hundred dollars, but a Swiss agency whose primary work is helping to name product brands now offers parents suggestions on their offspring's "brand" (for corporate-like fees beginning at around $29,000). (Parents in South Korea and India traditionally seek baby-naming recommendations from priests, who review religious text, culture and astrology -- in exchange for modest offerings.) [Bloomberg.com, 4-19-2016]

-- Entrepreneur.com reported in April the surprising success of "Ship Your Enemies Glitter," in which, for about $10, the startup sends an envelope full of glitter that, when opened, scatters, irritating (or enraging) the recipient. The concept was an overnight sensation, but quickly petered out and was seemingly worthless -- until a prescient businessman offered $85,000 for its two assets: (1) a valuable list of customers who might buy similar pranks (such as a cupcake that's really horse manure) and (2) an opportunity at additional waves of customers newly discovering the original glitter product. The $85,000 purchaser now reports sales "in the high six figures." [Entrepreneur.com, 4-20-2016]

-- Peter Jensen of Athol, Idaho, filed a lawsuit against the state transportation department in April after his driving privileges were revoked because his car had no license plate. For the inconvenience, he believes he deserves $5.6 million in damages (gold and silver only, please) because, for example, there is nothing about "license plates" in the Ten Commandments. [KREM-TV (Spokane, Wash.), 4-22-2016]

-- Simple As That: (1) Bingham County (Idaho) Sheriff Craig Rowland told reporters in March that the state legislature had no reason to improve the statewide administration of "rape kit" evidence because the majority of local rape accusations are, he is certain, consensual sex. (2) Scout Hodge, 20, angry at his mother, was charged with arson in Austin, Texas, in January for setting fire to her rug. He told police he did it as a "political" statement (unexplained) and to prove he isn't a "loser." [Associated Press via OregonLive.com, 3-15-2016] [KEYE-TV (Austin), 1-16-2016]

-- Modern Problems: (1) Sophia Sanchez, 27, was charged with intentionally crashing her car into her boyfriend's vehicle in April in Riverside, Illinois. According to police, the couple had been arguing the night before, and Sanchez said she felt she had to disable his car so that he would talk to her. (2) William Timothy Thomas, 25, was arrested for vandalizing a home in Largo, Florida, in April. He told police he needed to go "destroy" stuff because he "listened to too much music and masturbated too much." (Bonus: Three first names! Special police surveillance warranted!) [WLS-TV (Chicago), 4-27-2016] [WFLA.com, 4-12-2016]

(1) As China's real-estate construction boom fades, tempers have flared, and according to a local government officer in Hebei province, two companies' officials angling for a contract wildly dueled each other in their bulldozers in an incident captured on video. The losing driver was seen running from his toppled machine. (2) Italy's top appeals court ruled in April that a homeless man stealing cheese and sausage from a grocery story in Genoa, and who received a six-month jail term for it, was actually not guilty of criminal behavior at all. The court set him free using a traditional Italian legal principle that no one is required to do the impossible -- which, the court surmised, would be to allow himself to starve. [Sky News (London), 4-18-2016] [New York Times, 5-4-2016]

Motorist Rebecca Musarra was stopped for speeding in October 2015 by state troopers in New Jersey, and dutifully handed over her license, insurance and registration, but declined to answer the troopers' "do you know why we stopped you" questions. Annoyed at her silence, troopers Matthew Stazzone and Demetric Gosa threatened several times, with increasing aggressiveness (according to dashboard video obtained by NJ Advance Media), to arrest Musarra for "obstruction." Musarra pointed out that -- as nearly every American knows -- she has the right to remain silent. The troopers nonetheless arrested her (then recited, of course, her "right to remain silent"). After nearly two hours back at the station, a supervisor offered a weak apology and released her. Musarra, an attorney, unsurprisingly has filed a federal lawsuit. [NJ.com, 5-5- 2016]

The species Acanthonus armatus first showed up in waters near Vancouver, British Columbia, 10 years ago, generating ichthyological excitement -- in that it is widely known as the assfish. The Royal BC Museum in Victoria, British Columbia, put one on display in January with its bulbous head and flabby skin resembling a "glorified tadpole," said a museum curator, who declined to guess at the origin of the assfish name (bypassing a chance to link it to the fish's large mouth and tiny brain). [National Post, 1-14-2016]

(1) The British broadcast censor Ofcom declined to punish a January edition of "The Jeremy Kyle Show" on which a guest used a "well-known swear word" -- because the speaker has a Scottish accent and, Ofcom said, probably no more than two or three people thus comprehended what he was saying. (2) The body of Peter ("Petey Crack") Martinez, 28, who had a long rap sheet, washed up on a beach in Brooklyn, New York, on May 2 -- with his feet encased (up to his shins) in a bucket of hardened cement. It was the first time veteran New York detectives could ever recall seeing actual "cement shoes" (though they have, of course, been icons of true crime stories for decades). [BBC News, 3-21-2016] [New York Times, 5-5-2016]

-- New York City police rounded up 39 people on April 26 suspected as part of a massive credit-card-scamming operation targeted at customers of high-end retailers such as Saks Fifth Avenue -- and whose members are affiliated with the rap-music group Pop Out Boyz, which makes reference to the scams in its songs. (One number, "For a Scammer," features the lyric, "you see it, you want it, you have it," while another voice repeatedly brags, "I'm cracking cards cause I'm a scammer." A New York Post report describes "cracking cards" as a scheme paying a bank customer a fee to accept a phony deposit into his account to be later withdrawn -- but the scammer removes much more money than the phony deposit.) [New York Post, 4-26-2016]

-- Ricardo Ruiz, 26, was arrested in March on complaints from women that he had groped them at parks in Davie and Cooper City, Florida, but the case got easier afterward when police were tipped to a YouTube video that they believe is of Ruiz, addressing the camera while driving a car and extolling his groping habit. "Man, today was a good ... day, touching ass," he says. "If you don't touch ass, you're crazy. That's all I got to say." [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 3-31-2016]

Louis Helmburg III filed a lawsuit in Huntington, West Virginia, in February (2012) against the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity and its member Travis Hughes for injuries Helmburg suffered in May 2011 when he fell off a deck at the fraternity house. The reason he gave for falling was that he had been startled, and toppled backward off the rail-less deck, after Hughes attempted to fire a bottle rocket "out of his anus" -- and the rocket, instead, exploded in place. (The lawsuit did not refer to Hughes' injuries.) [Courthouse News service, 2-2-2012]