In February, New York's highest court finally said "enough" to the seemingly endless delays on a multimillion-dollar judgment for negligence that occurred 23 years ago. Linda Nash had sued, among others, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey for injuries she suffered when trapped in an underground parking garage during the World Trade Center terrorist act. (No, not the one in 2001, but the bombing eight years before that, which killed six and wounded more than 1,000). Nash was 49 that day and 72 now, and after winning a $5.4 million jury verdict in 2005, endured 10 more years of appeals. In its final, unsuccessful motion in the case, the Port Authority said it had spotted a technicality and that Nash should start over. [New York Post, 2-21-2016]

"Nostalgia," Gone Too Far: Retired engineer Harry Littlewood, 68, watching workers tear down outdated public housing in Stockport, England, recently, rushed over to ask the local Stockport Council about recovering a "souvenir" since the teardowns included his residence growing up. The council agreed, and Littlewood was awarded the toilet he had used as a boy. "I never thought I'd see it again," he mused. He said he would probably turn it into a planter. [Manchester Evening News, 2-1-2016]

-- Evangelicals Applaud Sexual Predator: The Jacksonville (Florida) City Council was addressing a proposed amendment to its Human Rights Ordinance (one that would specifically protect gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders) in January when Roy Bay, 56, stood during the comment period and insisted that those kinds of lifestyle protections are what led him on a 20-year history of molesting one little boy after another. Gasps in the audience turned into cheers, however, when he reported that he had abandoned his bad self after becoming a "born-again child of God," and realizing that it was not "acceptable" to assault kids even though he was raised in such an environment himself. (Conveniently, the crimes are not prosecutable because of the statute of limitations. Fact-checkers, including FloridaPolitics.com, are still investigating Bay's claims.) [Folio Weekly (Jacksonville), 1-20-2016]

-- Local governments in Taiwan's Southwest Coast National Scenic Area in Chiayi province recently put the finishing touches on a 55-foot-high "church" in the form of a shoe made from more than 300 glass panels (and costing the equivalent of about $680,000). According to a BBC News dispatch, no religious services will be held there; rather, the church will be a destination for weddings and feature other events tailored for glass-slipper-obsessed females. [BBC News, 1-15-2016]

-- Prosecutors in Spain finally filed charges this year against three women for a May 2014 protest that was apparently aimed at religious intolerance of homosexuality, and are asking that the charges against the women be labeled anti-Catholic "hate" crimes. One judge particularly noted the anti-Catholic props -- rosary beads, prayer lace, canonical hoods, and a 6-foot-high plastic vulva constructed to resemble the well-known representation of the Virgin Mary. In January, judges called police to court to help identify the women in videos of the protest. [Daily Mail (London), 2-4-2016]

Progressives' Anxiety Disorder: Several students at the Ivy League's Brown University complained (quoted in a February story in the student newspaper) that classroom work (ostensibly what Brown charges $50,000 a year in tuition for) was increasingly a burden, distracting them from their more important calling: organizing and protesting against various "injustices" on campus. Students were underperforming academically (and suffering health problems and anxiety issues) because, said the students, Brown still expects them to complete course requirements even though they are busy denouncing racist columns in the student newspaper and challenging the weakness of Brown's "diversity" policies (among other targets). [Washington Post, 2-23-2016] [Brown Daily Herald, 2-18-2016]

-- According to a former spy for the Soviet Union, dictator Josef Stalin so distrusted his Communist China counterpart Mao Zedong during the 1940s that when Mao visited the USSR, Soviet engineers arranged to capture his bowel movements so that Stalin's scientists could examine them chemically to form a psychological profile. Spy Igor Atamanenko found evidence that other world leaders received similar treatment. Among the indicators: High levels of the amino acid tryptophan signaled the person was calm and approachable, and lack of potassium portended nervousness and insomnia.) [BBC News, 1-28-2016]

-- Williams Lake, British Columbia, has the most violent crime per capita for its size (pop. 10,800) of any town in Canada, and in February the city council unanimously passed a dramatic action plan: to inject "high risk" criminals with "GPS tracking" devices. The program was immediately denounced by privacy advocates, but that challenge is almost beside the point -- since injectable GPS tracking does not even exist. (Councilors likely confused implantable microchips, which contain data but do not track, with GPS transponders, which track but only via sight-line contact with a satellite.) [CTV News (Vancouver), 2-25-2016]

-- The three young men charged so far in the Feb. 17 murder in a South Carolina bowling alley made their first post-crime courtroom appearances memorable ones. According to a WYFF-TV (Greenville, South Carolina) report, Albert Taylor, 22 (and labeled as the shooter by police), seemed indifferent to the charges, but questioned the judge about courtroom cameras, appearing preoccupied. As he was being ushered out, he turned to address the camera and barked, "What's up, y'all? You can follow me on Twitter, follow me on Instagram, Snapchat." [WYFF-TV, 2-19-2016]

-- Alex Smith, 38, asked a sheriff's deputy in Limestone County, Alabama, at 3 a.m. on Feb. 19 for a "courtesy ride" to a nearby Wal-Mart, and the deputy agreed, but following procedure, said he'd have to search Smith before letting him into the patrol car, and according to the subsequent arrest report, Smith, needing the ride, consented. The deputy then turned up a veritable drug supply store in Smith's pockets, his backpack and his duffel bags: drugs (meth, marijuana and black tar heroin), two syringes, a drug cooking spoon, two marijuana pipes, a meth smoking pipe, and a supply of baggies of the type frequently used for drugs. Smith was charged with drug possession and trafficking. [Al.com (Birmingham), 2-22-2016]

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen (who left the company early, and like Bill Gates, became known for his philanthropy, which has been directed toward conservation projects including coral reef restorations) is the owner of the 300-foot yacht whose anchor in January accidentally crushed 14,000 square feet (about 80 percent) of the Cayman Islands' precious West Bay coral reef. Harm to the islands' ecosystem, world-famous for its diversity, will not quickly be repaired, said officials. The MV Tatoosh's business in the area was not reported, but Allen was not aboard. Cayman Islands is a popular Caribbean vacation and diving spot (and, of course, tax haven). [The Guardian (London), 1-28-2016] [National Geographic, 1-16-2016]

Australian Neville Sharp brought his "A" game to a pub in the Darwin suburb of Humpty Doo in February and, in a Guinness World Record attempt, expelled a 110.6-decibel belch (which, if certified by Guinness book officials, beats the old record of 109.9 by a gentleman in the U.K.). Sharp gives all credit to his sister for teaching him, as a child, proper belching technique. [Australian Broadcasting Corp. News, 2-23-2016]

When Tattoos Aren't Nearly Enough: In some primitive cultures, beauty and status are displayed via large holes in the earlobe from which to hang heavy ornaments or to insert jewels or tokens, and BBC News reported in November (2011) that an "increasing" number of counterculture Westerners are getting their lobes opened far beyond routine piercing, usually by gradually stretching but sometimes with a hole-punch tool. The hard core are "gauge kings (or queens)," showing a "commitment" to the lifestyle by making holes up to 10mm (3/8 inch) wide. (Cosmetic surgeons told BBC News that they're already preparing procedures for the inevitable wave of regretted decisions.) [BBC News, 11-21-2011]

Longtime National Symphony cellist David Teie announced in November that his crowdfunding project was hugely successful, freeing him to produce an album of music meaningful to cats. (Cats, for example, relax in response to the earliest sound of their mother's purring, which Teie clocked at 23 harp notes a second.) Teie's work, according to an October Washington Post feature, includes examining waveforms of real-time purrs and creating an organ sound to mimic the opening and closing of a cat's vocal chords. His KickStarter pitch raised so much money that he might also try creating music for bored zoo elephants or stressed-out whales. In tests, cats responded well to Teie's music, according to a 2015 journal article (but with less curiosity at the Washington cat cafe Crumbs & Whiskers). [Washington Post, 10-18-2015, 11-29-2015]

-- Amazon.com has riled up Buddhist temples in Japan, according to a January Associated Press dispatch, by offering traveling monks rentable online to conduct funerals and other rituals. The monk would go to a home, grave or funeral home, at fees and upgrades ranging from the equivalent of $300 to about $8,500. (Many of Japan's 75,000 Buddhist temples are struggling financially and destined to close. Complained a spokesman for the Japan Buddhist Association, what Amazon is facilitating "is allowed in no other country in the world.") [Associated Press, 1-30-2016]

-- In February, Gawker.com introduced the semi-serious Lube Crude Index as a poignant indicator of how far the price of oil has fallen. Comparing the world price of a standard 42-gallon barrel of crude (about $31) with that of a 55-gallon barrel of Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant (retailing as, when packaged in smaller quantities, a sexual aid) shows that "sex lube" is more valuable than crude oil by a factor of 28 -- a barrel's worth of the lube recently priced at $1,175 versus crude's barrel-adjusted $41. As recently as June 2014, the Lube Crude Index was near 1. (Gawker reported that only two actual barrels of Passion Natural could be found and that the price would likely rise further if one of them were sold.) [Gawker.com, 2-3-2016]

(1) Angel Rivera, 49, was arrested in December in Orlando, Florida, on allegations that he punched a child in the face because the boy was not getting dressed for church fast enough. (The boy was wearing an ankle brace, which slowed him down.) (2) Ryan Dailey, 28, was arrested in Las Cruces, New Mexico, in February on several charges after, police said, he beat his mother by pounding her with a Bible. His explanation, police said, was that when he asked her who her soul belonged to, she repeatedly declined to answer. [WKMG-TV (Orlando), 12-21-2015] [Las Cruces Sun-News, 2-9-2016]

The much-maligned pigeon was recently found by researchers to be as skilled as humans at distinguishing between slides of benign versus malignant human breast tissue. Writing in the journal PLOS ONE, specialists from the University of Iowa and University of California, Davis lauded the birds' processing of color, contrast, brightness and image compression, marveling that pigeons see more wavelengths of light than humans, even though their brains are one-thousandth the size. (Birds are already known to distinguish "hostile" humans in celebrated dive-pecking incidents.) [CNN, 11-20-2015]

-- A near-certain robbery of the PNC Bank in Zebulon, North Carolina, on Jan. 28 was prevented, with employees treated to an almost-slapstick scene in which the bank manager kept the suspect outside by winning a tug-of-war for control of the front door. The manager had grabbed the door after noticing an armed, masked man approaching from the parking lot just after the bank opened. (The frustrated perp fled empty-handed, but was at large.) [WTVD-TV (Raleigh, N.C.), 1-29-2016]

-- Awkward Moments Ahead in Lockup: (1) Joel Sloan, 51, was booked into jail for DUI by a sheriff's deputy in Birmingham, Alabama, in February. Sloan was dressed head-to-toe as a clown. (No explanation was offered.) (2) Vaughn Tucker, 23, was booked into jail in Tulsa, Oklahoma, in February on drug charges. He was wearing a T-shirt with large lettering on the front: "I Would Cuddle You So Hard." [Al.com (Birmingham), 2-7-2016] [The Smoking Gun, 2-8-2016]

-- Didn't Think It Through: The robbers of the electronics store Compucell in Springfield, Massachusetts, in December came up empty, but are still at large. A man with a gun jumped the counter and demanded that the employee give him money from the locked cash register. The gunman moved to the back door to let in his accomplice, but that merely allowed the employee and two customers to run out the front door, and the accomplice fled, too, sensing that, with no one to unlock the register, the "robbery" was going nowhere. [The Republican (Springfield), 2-16-2016]

American hunters are so trophy-kill-obsessed that, in the decade ending in 2014 (according to Humane Society figures), they averaged nine imported carcasses a day among the "Big Five" African species (lions, elephants, leopards, rhinos and African buffalo) -- most of which require special U.S. and foreign permits, with "conservation" conditions. Some countries endanger their own dwindling herds just to sell the lucrative permits, and South Africa even offers 150 captive lions a year to make trophy kills easier. (Total hunting imports of all animal trophies averaged 345 a day, mostly from Canada and Mexico.) [National Geographic, 2-6-2016]

(1) Chandan Kumar Singh told BBC News in February that his recent lawsuit against the Hindu god Ram was provoked by Ram's mistreatment of his wife in spiritual lore. Said Singh, "(W)e cannot talk about respecting women in modern day India when we know that one of our most revered gods did not treat his own wife with respect." Singh thus wants a court to tell the god to acknowledge he was wrong. (2) After news reports of a male Siberian tiger being playful with a male goat (ordinarily, a tiger's meal) in a Russian safari park, lawyer Alexei Krestyanov pressured the local prosecutor in February to embargo further announcements, claiming that such coverage harmed children by provoking "interest in non-traditional sexual relations." [BBC News, 2-8-2016] [The Guardian (London), 2-5-2016]

Police in Austin, Texas, said in February they had received several complaints (KEYE-TV reported "dozens") from women about a man who approaches them in public genially, but then turns aggressive and tries to stomp their feet (in one case, telling the woman it was "normal" behavior for him). (The suspect apparently has only little in common with the Arkansas recidivist who holds the record for multiple appearances in News of the Weird -- who merely fondles and sucks women's toes, although without their consent and sometimes after forcefully grabbing the foot.) [KEYE-TV (Austin), 2-5-2016]

Arrested recently and awaiting trial for murder: Jerald Wayne Boozer-Brown Jr., Macomb Township, Michigan (February); Matthew Wayne Long, Hico, Texas (January); Joseph Wayne Goswick, Graham, North Carolina (January); John Wayne Strawser Jr., Belington, West Virginia (September); Jesse Wayne Gunderson, Wayne, Michigan (September); Curtis Wayne Wright, Bonita Springs, Florida (September); John Wayne Noonkester, Cottonwood, California (July). Indicted for murder: Derrick Wayne Gamble, Belton, Texas (December). Convicted of murder: Carl Wayne Wiley, Del Rio, Texas (February). Shot themselves to death while suspected by police of murder: Ricky Wayne Cook, Melbourne, Florida (February); Lloyd Wayne Franklin, Davidson County, North Carolina (October). [Boozer-Brown: The Oakland Press (Oakland, Mich.), 2-16-2016] [Long: Waco Tribune, 2-1-2016] [Goswick: WGHP-TV (High Point, N.C.), 1-21-2016] [Strawser: PennLive.com (Mechanicsburg, Pa.), 9-21-2015] [Gunderson: Detroit Free Press, 1-24-2016] [Wright: WFTX-TV (Fort Myers, Fla.), 2-19-2016] [Noonkester: Record Searchlight (Redding, Calif.), 7-8-2015] [Gamble: Waco Tribune, 12-16-2015] [Wiley: Breitbart Texas, 2-20-2016] [Cook: WESH-TV (Orlando), 2-2-2016] [Franklin: WGHP-TV (High Point, N.C.), 11-7-2015]

FUBAR: Retired U.S. Army Sergeant Major Rob Dickerson finally received his Purple Heart this summer (2011), four years after he was seriously wounded in a rocket attack in Iraq and two years after he began a back-and-forth paperwork battle with the Army to "prove" he was injured. Recently, the Army had apologized and mailed him the award, but it arrived C.O.D., leaving Dickerson to pay the $21 fee. (The Army subsequently reimbursed Dickerson, but Dickerson said he hasn't been able to cash the check, in that it was somehow made out to "Roy Dirksen.") [KELO-TV (Sioux Falls, S.D.), 8-4-2011]

"Military Intelligence": The head of U.S. Navy intelligence has for more than two years been prohibited from accessing classified information (as the Pentagon disclosed to The Washington Post in January). Vice Admiral Ted Branch came under investigation in 2013 in a corruption scandal involving a foreign defense contractor and various Navy personnel and might have been suspended from all duties -- except that, given the political gridlock in Washington, no consensus candidate has emerged. No charges have been filed against Branch, but before he enters any room at the Pentagon, classified material must be stowed away. [Washington Post, 1-28-2016]

-- New World Order: (1) Yet another woman gave birth to her own granddaughter in January. Tracey Thompson, 54, offered to be the surrogate mother for her fertility-challenged daughter, Kelley, and delivered a 6-pound, 11-ounce girl at The Medical Center in Plano, Texas. (2) After notable successes in the United States, Latin America claimed in December its first transgender pregnancy after Ecuadorean Fernando Machado announced he was expecting a child with his partner Diane Rodriguez. Fernando used to be "Maria"; Diane used to be "Luis"; and though both undergo hormone therapy, they have retained their birth organs. [KTVT (Dallas), 1-7-2016] [Associated Press via The Guardian (London), 12-24-2015]

-- Overexcited police departments occasionally feel the need to safeguard towns by zealous enforcement of anti-gambling laws. In November, police in Altamonte Springs, Florida, raided the Escondido Community Clubhouse, formally shutting down the retirement village's games of bingo, bunko, penny poker and -- most controversially -- the weekly sessions of the culturally venerated mahjong. Although none of the games is illegal under state law, advertising for-money games is, and the notices in the Heritage Florida Jewish News were such attention-getters that the pots for the games often grew to exceed the $10 legal maximum. (Given mahjong's sociological significance, news of the bust was even reported in Jerusalem's Times of Israel.) [Orlando Weekly, 11-23-2015]

-- Perspective: On the heels of a similar program in Richmond, California, Washington, D.C.'s D.C. Council authorized funding in January to pay stipends to notorious criminals if they stop committing crimes. Police would identify up to 50 residents likely to violently offend again in 2016 and offer them periodic cash payments plus special training and educational benefits -- as long as they stay out of trouble. Officials in Richmond (once overwhelmed by gun deaths) say their program, commenced almost 10 years ago, has produced a 76 percent drop in gun-related crime. [Washington Post, 2-7-2016]

-- Reports of the prominence of animal urine in various cultures' health regimens have surfaced periodically in News of the Weird, and in December, in Al Qunfudhah, Saudi Arabia, a shop selling camel urine (with a long history of alleged medicinal qualities) was closed by authorities after they found 70 camel-urine bottles actually filled with shopkeeper-urine. [Daily Mail, 12-22-2015]

-- About a decade ago, several fast-food restaurants (especially during evening shifts staffed by sometimes inadequately trained managers) were plagued by a prank phone-caller, posing as law enforcement requesting investigative help, asking managers to strip-search employees for "contraband" and to describe the searches in real time to the caller. (A suspect was arrested, and the calls stopped.) Managerial judgment was also on display at a Morro Bay, California, Burger King in January when a prank caller somehow convinced BK employees to begin shattering the store's windows because of a purported "gas leak." Several windows were smashed in, and an investigation of the call is ongoing. [KSBY-TV (Santa Barbara), 1-21-2016]

-- Awkward: In January, Israeli television journalist Eitam Lachover became the latest to be injured in a high-profile test of a "protective" vest when he volunteered to be stabbed on camera for a news segment. Vest company officials' faces turned quickly sour as the blade penetrated the vest (though the wound was described as "light"). [Jerusalem Post, 1-6-2016]

-- In January, 15-year-old Anthony Ruelas, trying to rescue a classmate gasping from an asthma attack, became the latest casualty in public schools' relentless insistence on "zero tolerance" of any deviation from rules. Gateway Middle School in Killeen, Texas, suspended Ruelas for two days for what others called his "heroic" assistance in gathering the girl in his arms and taking her to the nurse's office -- while the teacher, following "procedure," waited passively for a nurse to email instructions. (Ruelas had defied the teacher, declaring, "(F-word) that -- we ain't got time to wait for no email from the nurse.") The school district's superintendent later cited a federal law that he interpreted as justifying the procedure. [KCEN-TV (Waco-Killeen), 1-27-2016]

-- Age-Old Prank Fails: Will Lombardi, 19, was charged with arson in Northampton, Massachusetts, in January after he acknowledged that "probably" he was the one who left a flaming box of excrement on the front porch of the family with whose daughter he was feuding. The fire was supposed to alarm the victim, who would try to stomp it out, thus spreading the feces and soiling the stomper's shoes. In this case, however, the fire had spread a bit. (Bonus: Lombardi's box selection was a used mailer with Lombardi's name and address still readable.) [MassLive.com, 1-22-2016]

-- Least Competent Criminals: (1) In January, a 27-year-old man in North Pole, Alaska, became the most recent forced to flee a crime scene on foot because he had locked his keys inside the getaway car. He was identified by surveillance video outside the two businesses he burglarized, but he was still at large. (2) Also in January, David Boulet, in Tacoma, Washington, became the most recent to haplessly try to steal a police car. As officers chased him on an earlier charge, Boulet spotted a parked, marked squad car (with lights flashing), but apparently thought, in the night's darkness, that the car was momentarily unoccupied. He climbed in -- and landed on the lap of a Tacoma police sergeant in the front seat. [Associated Press via KINY Radio (Juneau), 1-21-2016] [KIRO-TV (Seattle), 1-20-2016]

-- Undignified Deaths: (1) A 47-year-old man in Saint-Marcel, Italy, fell to his death in January as he leaned over a balcony railing to shake crumbs off his tablecloth after breakfast. The tablecloth reportedly slipped from his hands, leading him to (unsuccessfully) reach for it. (2) A 58-year-old driver dressed except for pants was killed in January in Detroit when he was thrown from his car by a crash. A Michigan State Police spokesman reported that the man had been viewing pornography as he drove. [The Local (Rome), 1-20-2016] [WJBK-TV (Detroit), 1-26-2016]

News of the Weird's long-time super-creative serial litigant Jonathan Lee Riches filed yet another claim in January -- against the Tennessee couple identified as winners in the recent $1.6 billion Powerball lottery. John and Lisa Robinson, Riches says, "owe" him half their winnings because he says he sent their daughter (and his pen pal), Tiffany, $20 to buy Powerball tickets. Riches's lawsuit, written in longhand, claims that he and Tiffany were to be married and move to "a remote island full of milk and honey." Riches had been serving a federal prison term for parole violation, but his current situation was unreported (except that he now claims an alias, "Jihadi Schitz," and wrote from a Philadelphia mosque). It is expected that this lawsuit will suffer the same fate as his against, among others, George W. Bush, Britney Spears, Steve Jobs, Nostrodamus, Plato and the various Kardashians. [Forbes.com, 2-2-2016]

A judge in Nice, France, ruled in September (2011) that Article 215 of the French civil code (defining marriage as a "shared communal life") in fact requires that husband and wife have sex. A husband identified only as Jean-Louis B. had evidently lost interest years earlier, and his wife was granted a divorce. Apparently emboldened by her victory, she then filed a monetary claim against the husband for the value of his 21-year-long lack of service, and the judge awarded her 10,000 euros (then worth about $13,710 -- $653 a year). [Daily Telegraph (London), 9-5-2011]