Shooting "upskirt" photos of a 13-year-old girl is not illegal in Oregon, declared Judge Eric Butterfield in February, thus acquitting Patrick Buono, 61, of the crimes of invasion of privacy and "encouraging child sexual abuse." Buono's behavior was "appalling," Judge Butterfield noted, but since the girl was in a public place (a Target store) and no nudity was involved (she wore underpants), the specifics of Oregon statutes were not violated. Said Buono's lawyer, "It's incumbent on us as citizens to cover up whatever we don't want filmed in public places." [The Oregonian, 2-6-2015]

-- Felons, and those convicted of domestic assault, and those with a history of mental illness, cannot by federal law buy firearms or explosive devices, but Americans on the National Counterterrorism Center's consolidated watch list can -- and may possess an unlimited quantity. (In 2013 and 2014, 455 of 486 prospective purchasers on the list passed the background check, and going back to 2004, 2,043 of 2,233, according to a recent Government Accountability Office report.) Legislation to add watch listees as a banned category was introduced again this year, but has failed several times in the past. [New York Times, 2-26-2015; press release of U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, 2-24-2015]

-- The annual National Basketball Association All-Star game in February provided a windfall for the co-host arena's proprietor, James L. Dolan, whose family owns not only Madison Square Garden but also the NBA's richest franchise (the Knicks), hockey's second-richest (the Rangers), and the New York region's telecom juggernaut Cablevision. Among the government handouts Dolan receives is the 33-year (and counting) exemption from property taxes for the Garden's four square blocks ("among the most valuable (plots of land) on Earth," according to New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio) -- a government gift, in 2014 alone, worth $54 million. [New York Times, 2-14-2015] [New York Daily News, 5-29-2014]

The three-week February exhibition of Alejandro Figueredo Diaz-Perera consisted of a blank wall in Chicago's West Loop gallery -- with the artist present only in the sense that he was residing in a narrow, 10-foot crawl space behind the wall with only a single sign alerting patrons ("I am here, but you will not see me"). Diaz-Perera's "In the Absence of a Body" was designed, he said, to explore the boundary between presence and absence. [Huffington Post, 2-18-2015]

(1) A motorist smashed into a power pole at 2 a.m. on Feb. 25 in Tukwila, Washington, because, he explained, he was "chasing an owl." (Police somehow found him to be sober and did not charge him.) (2) Officials in Salem, Oregon, posted signs in February to warn joggers on a popular running path that they might be attacked by a rogue owl or owls, after four people were aggressively pecked at by dive-bombers. (One design for the sign came from cable TV personality Rachel Maddow.) (3) A bar called Annie the Owl was scheduled for a special one-week event in London in March, for patrons to sip drinks while domesticated owls perch on their shoulders. Interest was so keen that a lottery was required for tickets. [KIRO-TV (Seattle), 2-25-2015] [KGW-TV (Portland), 2-12-2015] [CNBC.com, 2-24-2015]

America's Least Interesting Couple: Bill Bresnan, 74, of Toms River, New Jersey, has written a love letter to his wife, Kirsten, also 74, every day for nearly 40 years -- more than 10,000 in number -- and continuing, according to a February ABC News report. "We've never had a fight," he said. Their romance continues over, for example, playing "Boggle" at breakfast or having candlelit dinners with wine. (Bonus: Kirsten has hoarded all of the letters, filed by date, in 25 boxes.) [ABC News via WHAS-TV (Louisville), 2-12-2015]

Margurite Haragan, 58, was charged with two harassment counts against a Jewish woman in Boise, Idaho, in February after the victim complained of being screamed at and roughed up by Haragan, who was trying to pressure her to acknowledge a belief in Jesus Christ. After Haragan allegedly stepped on the woman's neck and pulled her hair upward, the victim promised to become a Christian. Haragan then departed but returned two days later to continue the alleged harassment. (The genesis of the women's relationship was unclear from news reports.) [KTVB-TV (Boise), 2-16-2015]

The "Pedophile Loophole": The Mississippi Department of Education reported recently that federal student privacy law bars local schools from alerting the MDE about college-age student teachers who might be having inappropriate relationships with the K-12 students they teach. The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act apparently controls regulation of the student teachers during on-the-job classroom training (or, as a reporter for the Clarion-Ledger of Jackson wrote, "What happens in college, apparently, stays in college"). The MDE, which issues educator licenses, thus may never learn of the inappropriate behavior of the student teacher. [Clarion-Ledger, 2-21-2015]

"Mummy Maxine" and her husband, Derek Ventham, run adult baby nurseries (the current one, in North Liverpool, England), charging men the equivalent of $115 an hour to lounge in their cribs, in man-sized infant clothing, while being fawned over as if they were helpless pre-toddlers. (No sex play is allowed, but diaper-changing costs about $40 extra.) Even tamer is the "adult preschool" in New York City that Michelle Lapidos and a partner intend to start soon. A month-long course will allow grownups to "relive their pre-K days" with finger-painting, show-and-tell and nap time, she told the Village Voice in January, all while dressing in "your 4-year-old best." [Liverpool Echo, 2-3-2015] [Village Voice, 1-30-2015]

-- Embarrassing: Surveillance video released in February by the Irish Independent showed a small-time burglar trying to break into a car at 1 a.m. in front of the Pheasant bar in Drogheda, Ireland, by smashing a window with a brick -- but also showed that the brick rebounded and knocked the man out, bloodying him. Gerry Brady, owner of the bar, was just closing up and found the burglar dazed, but the man departed before police arrived. Only when Brady later viewed video of the front of his bar did he realize what the man had been up to. [Irish Independent, 2-21-2015]

-- Least Industrious Criminals: (1) Deputies in Santa Rosa County, Florida, arrested Kevin Barbour, 37, after he fled, on foot, from a recent traffic stop. Deputies chased him awhile, then called for K-9 backup, and by the time the dogs arrived, a sound resembling a "snorting wild boar" saturated the area. A snoring Barbour was found asleep under a tree and arrested. (2) Michael Cassano, 38, was arrested in Lodi, New Jersey, in February, after allegedly robbing the Hudson City Savings Bank of about $4,000. He was spotted minutes later, a block away at a Dunkin Donuts, sipping coffee. [Pensacola News Journal, 2-2-2015] [Associated Press via The Record (Woodland Park, N.J.), 2-24-2015]

News of the Weird has reported on joyous "fertility" festivals in South Korea and Japan in which uninhibited celebrants brandish artistic "penises" (from parade floats to souvenir phalluses as jewelry, flower pots, food, etc. -- serving adults and little kids alike). It turns out that Greece, too, has such an annual spectacle, "Bourani," in the town of Tirnavos, on the first day of Lent, with historic roots based on inspiring fertile crops as well as human fertility. Wrote Vice.com in its dispatch, "People keep kissing (the penises), taking selfies with them, and wearing them as earrings." [Vice.com, 2-26-2015]

Mark Seamands, 39, went to trial in May (2010) in Port Angeles, Washington, accused of second-degree assault and two lesser charges for the hot-iron branding of his three children, aged 13, 15 and 18. Each of the kids bore the mark "SK," for "Seamands' Kids." At trial, however, the kids testified that they not only consented to the branding but thought it was cool (despite the second-degree burns), and as a result, the jury dismissed the assault charge and deadlocked on the two lesser ones. [Associated Press via KIRO-TV (Seattle), 5-14-2010]

Thanks This Week to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

The Utah Court of Appeals ruled in February that Barbara Bagley has a legal right to sue herself for her own negligent driving that caused the death of her husband. Typically, in U.S. courts, a party cannot profit from its own negligence, but Bagley is the official "representative" administering her husband's estate and has a duty to claim debts owed to the husband. Those debts would include "wrongful death" damages from a careless driver (actually, the careless driver's insurance company), even if the careless driver was herself. Of course, if her lawsuit is successful, the monetary award would become part of the husband's estate, a portion of which will likely go to her. [Salt Lake Tribune, 2-18-2015]

-- Can't Possibly Be True: For a brief period in 1951 and 1952, an educational kit, the Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab, was for sale in the United States even though it came with testable samples of four types of uranium ore and three different radiation sources (alpha, beta, gamma). A surviving copy of the kit has been on display recently at the Ulster Museum in Belfast, Northern Ireland, but the radioactive materials had to be removed before the kit could be shipped to Belfast. (The kit had failed to sell well; kids apparently preferred the company's erector sets.) [BBC News, 2-16-2015]

-- In February, the Kansas Humanities Council, providing background to a current, traveling Smithsonian Institution exhibit, posted a description of a 1925 baseball game in Wichita in which the professional, all-black Wichita Monrovians took on members of the local Ku Klux Klan. (Historians guessed that the KKK risked the embarrassment of defeat only because it needed the exposure to overcome declining enrollments.) The Monrovians (champions of the Colored Western League the year before) won, 10-8, and the Klan shut down in Kansas two years later. [Kansas Humanities Council , 2-17-2015]

A 37-year-old Lancashire, England, businessman (identified in later news reports as Duane Walters), fearing surgery for suspected bladder cancer, was discovered to be cancer-free, but on the other hand, he was found to have a uterus, ovaries and cervix -- even though he has fully functioning exterior male genitalia. He was referred to Manchester University Hospital for a hysterectomy (to prevent the possibility of pregnancy) -- and was counseled that he might eventually become menopausal. His condition, "persistent Mullerian duct syndrome," is rare enough when diagnosed at birth but, according to experts cited by the Daily Telegraph, virtually unheard-of at age 37. Walters said he will continue living as a man. [Daily Telegraph, 2-7-2015]

-- Least Competent Terrorists: (1) A recent YouTube compilation of footage gleaned from, in some cases, unedited ISIS promotion videos, claimed to show jihadists accidentally killing themselves. Several fighters in a group photo appear to be blown up when one of them fumblingly detonates a captured bomb, and one man was killed when he apparently tried to reload a mortar launcher too quickly. (2) London's Daily Telegraph reported in January that the "Darkshadow" jihadists from Tunisia and Ivory Coast, who had proclaimed their website-hacking would disrupt international travel, wound up taking down a site consisting merely of bus timetables in Bristol, England. Darkshadow's English translator also misspelled Muslim ("Muslum"). [Daily Mail (London), 2-6-2015] [Daily Telegraph, 1-2-2015]

-- Perspective: ISIS' very public recent executions of a Jordanian pilot and two Japanese citizens were met with starkly different reactions. In Jordan, King Abdullah II led his nation in a call for bloody revenge. In Japan (according to a February Associated Press dispatch from Tokyo), feelings were mixed because of "meiwaku" -- Japan's cultural feeling that the dead victims (and their families) were "causing trouble" by placing themselves in harm's way. Said one man cited by the AP, "In the old days, their parents would have had to commit hara-kiri to apologize." In fact, both victims' families did repeatedly apologize for inconveniencing the government, which had warned citizens to stay away from the war zone. [Associated Press via Cortez Journal (Cortez, Colo.), 2-5-2015]

-- Point Taken: At a February meeting in Geneva of the U.N. Conference on Disarmament, regarding whether meetings should be open to the general public, the representative from Belarus expressed alarm because of potential problems for the security staff. "What if," he asked (according to a Reuters report), "there were topless ladies screaming from the public gallery throwing bottles of mayonnaise?" (According to the official summary, the Mexican delegate apparently earnestly pointed out that some U.N. meetings were already open to the public, but as yet there had been no mayonnaise-droppings.) [Reuters, 2-11-2015]

-- CSI Netherlands: Police in the Dutch town of Haarlem, near Amsterdam, raided an urban marijuana farm after a recent snowfall. In photographs of the neighborhood, all yards and roofs of houses are blanketed in white -- except for a certain portion of the roof of one home, on which the snow had completely melted. Police, deducing that the attic was likely an illegal marijuana greenhouse, made arrests. [Daily Mail (London), 2-9-2015]

-- News You Can Use: If you're in pain, shouting "Owww!" has measurable therapeutic value. Writing recently in the Journal of Pain, researchers from the National University of Singapore hypothesize that the muscle movements in vocalizing somehow divert or confuse pain signals, which otherwise would go unimpeded to the brain. Of subjects who plunged their hands into extremely cold water, those who were allowed to vocalize kept their hands immersed for up to three minutes longer than those who were silent. (The "oww" sound is similar in many languages and is apparently instinctive from birth.) [International Business Times (New York), 2-2-2015]

A company called AudioQuest believes there are serious music listeners sufficiently grossed out by the imperfect sound delivered by ordinary ethernet cables (typically with plastic connectors on each end and selling for around $20) that relief is needed. The company recently introduced the Cat-6 Ethernet cable, whose connectors are made of silver. For those who require the reportedly richer sound, relief is only $10,500 away. [Slashgear.com, 2-12-2015]

Police in Glendale, Oregon, arrested a 27-year-old man and his 22-year-old girlfriend after their 7-week-old son died of starvation. The couple claimed to have been feeding the boy properly, but investigators found that the pair operated an online porn business in which the mother lactated onto various items while the paying customers watched -- and believe that little of the mother's milk remained for the baby. [KPIC-TV (Roseburg, Ore.), 2-19-2015]

(1) Robert Michael Phillips was arrested in West Palm Beach, Florida, in February and faces a series of charges after police witnessed him allegedly conducting drug transactions and found heroin in his pocket and crack cocaine in his vehicle. (His rap sheet includes seven convictions and a prison stint.) On his February police intake form, under "occupation," Phillips stated, "drug dealer." (2) John Balmer, 50, was arrested at a Kmart in Hudson, Florida, in January as he attempted to pass a bag (allegedly containing marijuana and methamphetamine) to another person in line. Balmer was wearing a T-shirt that read, "Who needs drugs?" above lettering that read, "No, seriously, I have drugs." [Palm Beach Post, 2-6-2015] [Tampa Bay Times, 1-6-2015]

People With Issues: Self-described Las Vegas "performer" Staysha Randall took 3,200 different piercings in her body during the same sitting on June 7 (2011) to break the Guinness Book world record by 100 prickings. (Veteran Las Vegas piercer Bill "Danger" Robinson did the honors.) Coincidentally, on the same day in Edinburgh, Scotland, the woman with the most lifetime piercings (6,925) got married. Elaine Davidson, 46, wore a full white ensemble that left bare only her face, which was decorated green and sported 192 of the piercings. The lucky guy was Davidson's longtime friend Douglas Watson, a balding, 60-something man with no piercings or tattoos. [Las Vegas Weekly, 6-8-2011] [Daily Telegraph (London), 6-8-2011]

Thanks This Week to Larry Neer, David Nelson, Jan Linders, and Steve Dunn, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

A Saratoga Springs, New York, resort has begun accepting totally defeated husbands and wives for a relaxed weekend that includes divorce, bringing to America a concept already successful in six European cities. The Gideon Putnam Resort & Spa charges $5,000 for a couple to check in on a Friday, married, but leave Sunday officially single (complete with all legal niceties and various resort amenities, including, of course, separate rooms). Even though the couple must be fairly level-headed to accept this approach, the facility manager expressed concern that since the resort also books weddings, the "uncouplers" might inadvertently witness difficult scenes. (Gideon Putnam has hosted four divorces so far, but, said the European founder of the package service, "hundreds" of couples have used the services in Europe.) [New York Post, 2-10-2015]

-- Another Animal With a Worse Sex Life Than Yours: No organism has it tougher than the male South-East Asian coin spider, according to research reported by New Scientist in January. It is somehow driven to mate with a female up to four times larger who is almost as driven to eat the male as to mate. After insemination, the male impulsively fights off other males' attempts to disrupt the conception, and that means becoming a more nimble fighter, achieved, according to Matjaz Kuntner of the Slovenian Academy of the Arts and Sciences, by biting off its own genitals, since that organ comprises about one-tenth the spider's body weight. [New Scientist, 1-16-2015]

-- Because We Can: Scientists at the University of California, Irvine (with Australian partners) announced in January that they had figured out how to unboil a hen's egg. (After boiling, the egg's proteins become "tangled," but the scientists' device can untangle them, allowing the egg white to return to its previous state.) Actually, the researchers' paper promises dramatically reduced costs in several applications, from cancer treatments to food production, where similar, clean untanglings might take "thousands" of times longer. [UC Irvine press release, promoting publication in the ChemBioChem journal, 1-23-2015]

(1) The Knoxville (Tennessee) Police Department reminded motorists (via its Facebook page) that all vehicles need working headlights for night driving. Included was a recent department photo of the car of a Sweetwater, Tennessee, motorist who was ticketed twice the same evening with no headlights but only flashlights tied to his bumper with bungee cords. (2) A forlorn-appearing Anneliese Young, 82, was arrested at a CVS pharmacy in Augusta, Georgia, in February after store security allegedly caught her shoplifting a container of "Sexiest Fantasies" body spray that, according to the packaging, "provides a burst of sensuality ... as addictive and seductive as the woman who wears it," "sure to drive any man wild." [WATE-TV (Knoxville), 2-5-2015] [The Smoking Gun, 2-9-2015]

-- The Jeju Island Korean restaurant in Zhengzhou, China, staged a promotion last month to pick up lunch tabs for the 50 "most handsome" people to dine there every day. Judging was by a panel of cosmetic surgeons (who were partnering with the restaurant) and, as contestant-diners posed for photographs, they were evaluated on "quality of" eyes, noses, mouths and especially foreheads (better if "protruding"). [Daily Telegraph (London), 1-13-2015]

-- The owner of the Kingsland Vegetarian Restaurant in a suburb of Canberra, Australia, apologized in February for the cockroach infestation that contributed to a $16,000 fine, explaining that, for moral reasons, he could not bring himself to exterminate living things -- even cockroaches. (Less well-defended were Kingsland's toilet, grease and food-storage shortcomings.) [Brisbane Times, 2-1-2015]

Among the participants at this year's Davos, Switzerland, gathering of billionaires and important people was property developer Jeff Greene, 60, who owns mansions in New York, Malibu and Palm Springs, and whose Beverly Hills estate is on the market for around $195 million. Greene famously won big betting against overvalued sub-prime mortgages before the 2008 Great Recession, but, shortly after landing at Davos, he gave Bloomberg Business his take on the symptoms of current economic turmoil (that he had capitalized on for part of his wealth by exploiting people's desire for expensive houses they ultimately could not afford). "America's lifestyle expectations are far too high," Greene explained, "and need to be adjusted so we have less things and a smaller, better existence." [Daily Mail (London), 1-22-2015]

Sorry, Ladies, He's Taken: In yet another chilling episode of body modification, the otherwise handsome Henry Damon, 37, married father of two, appeared in January at the Caracas (Venezuela) International Tattoo Expo as Red Skull (archenemy of Captain America), who has somehow fascinated Damon for years. The exhibiting of his idolatry began with subdermal forehead implants (ultimately replacing his eyebrows with prominent ridges), followed by going all-in for Red Skull by allowing a medical school dropout to lop off what looks like half of his nose. (How his deep red color was achieved was not mentioned in news reports.) For the record, the "surgeon" called Damon "a physically and intellectually healthy person." [Daily Mail (London), 2-4-2015]

Swedish public broadcaster SVT, capitalizing on the country's supposedly liberal sexuality to promote an upcoming children's series on the human body, produced a one-minute cartoon featuring genitals singing and dancing. However, the SVT program director admitted in January that there was criticism -- not for salaciousness, but because the penis was portrayed with a moustache and the vagina with long eyelashes, which some critics said unfortunately "reinforced gender stereotypes." [Associated Press via WTOP Radio, 1-22-2015]

Mastering the Technology: (1) Donald Harrison, 22, wanted for assault in Ambridge, Pennsylvania, made police aware of his whereabouts when he posted a "selfie" on Facebook from a Greyhound bus with the notation, "It's Time to Leave Pa." He was picked up at a stop in nearby Youngstown, Ohio. (2) Police in Houston arrested Dorian Walker-Gaines, 20, and Dillian Thompson, 22, after they posted selfies on Facebook of themselves enjoying a handful of $100 bills -- photos they took on an iPad they had stolen on Jan. 8 and whose photos automatically uploaded to the victim's iCloud account. (Incidentally, Walker-Gaines has, tattooed across his chest, "BRILLIANT.") [Associated Press via WKBN-TV (Youngstown)), 2-10-2015] [The Smoking Gun, 1-22-2015]

Additional details reported by the Toronto Sun in January on an August 2014 News of the Weird item reveal that the motorist who hit three bicycling teenagers in Innisfil, Ontario, in 2012 (killing one, putting another in a wheelchair) is suing the victims for $1.35 million for "emotional trauma" the incident caused her (though she was not otherwise injured) because they "were incompetent bicyclists" and "did not apply their brakes properly." The boys wore reflective jackets and had no alcohol in their systems, but the driver, Sharlene Simon, admitted to at least one drink and to speeding. (On the other hand, her husband, who was following in another car, is a police officer, and Simon was neither charged nor breath-tested.) [Toronto Sun, 1-10-2015]

(1) A mummified monk in Mongolia became the latest religious figure whose followers insist he is not dead but living in a meditative trance. Dr. Barry Kerzin, among whose patients is the Dalai Lama, called the state "tukdam." Scientists attributed the monk's preserved condition to Mongolia's cold weather. (2) After consulting its substantial research base, The Smoking Gun website reported that Steven Anderson's arrest in Fargo, North Dakota, in January was only the third time that someone operating a Zamboni had been charged with DUI. Anderson, 27, was arrested while (erratically) resurfacing the ice between periods of a girls' high school hockey game. [BBC News, 2-4-2015] [The Smoking Gun, 2-1-2015]

Oklahoma inmate Eric Torpy was reported (in May 2011) as having second thoughts while only six years into his 33-year sentence for armed robbery. According to an Associated Press dispatch, he might especially regret the years 2035 to 2038. His original sentence was 30 years, but he challenged the judge that if he was "going down," it would be in "Larry Bird's jersey" -- the basketball player's number "33." Judge Ray Elliott then accommodated Torpy -- 33 years, not 30. Said Torpy to the reporter, "I'm pretty sure (Bird) thinks I'm an idiot." [Boston Globe-AP, 5-13-2011]

Thanks This Week to Mary Kearney, Dave Shepardson, Chris Schulman, Craig Bossler, Patty Lively, and Wayne Halsa, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.