The semi-obscure Florida Statute 790.15 took center stage in January following a Miami Herald report of a resident of the town of Big Pine Key who routinely target-shoots his handgun in his yard, with impunity, to the consternation of neighbors. The statute permits open firing on private property (except shooting over a public right of way or an occupied dwelling), and several cities have tried, unsuccessfully, to restrict that right, citing "public safety" in residential neighborhoods. (A 2011 lobbying campaign by the National Rifle Association, and a state supreme court decision, nixed any change in the law.) "Negligent" shooting is illegal, but only a misdemeanor. Thus, even skillful shooting next door to a day care center or in a small yard that abuts a high-trafficked pedestrian street is likely perfectly legal. One Florida legislator who was originally from Alaska noted that even in Anchorage people cannot fire at will in their yards. [Miami Herald, 1-26-2014]

-- South Korea is a well-known hub for cosmetic beautification surgery, with a higher rate per capita than the U.S., but the procedures can be expensive, inspiring many young women recently to resort to do-it-yourself procedures for their professional and romantic upgrades. A December Global Post dispatch noted that some might try to force their eyes to stay open without blinking (using a novel $20 pair of glasses for hours on end) as a substitute for costly "double-eyelid" surgery. Also in use: a $6 jaw-squeezing roller device for the face to push the jaw line into a fashionable "oval" form. One teen told the reporter she applies an imaginative contraption to her face for hours a day to pressure her nose into more of a point, which is considered a desirable Western look. [Global Post (Boston) via Denver Post, 12-19-2013]

-- Acquired Tastes: (1) In December, thieves in Wicklow, Ireland, raided a convent's field at the Dominican Farm and Ecology Center, stripping it of its entire crop of Brussels sprouts. A nun at the farm said the sisters were devastated to miss out on the lucrative market for high-end Christmas dinners. (2) In January, Wal-Mart in China recalled its "Five Spice" donkey meat sold in some locations because the popular snack was found to be tainted -- with fox meat. [Irish Independent, 12-5-2013] [Reuters, 1-2-2014]

-- Labor's Influence in France: The French social security agency URSSAF initiated an enforcement action in December against the Mamm-Kounifl music bar in the town of Locmiquelic for underpaying employee contributions -- in that the tavern encourages customers to bus their own tables and thus reduces its need to hire more servers. The owner denied he was trying to save money. "It's (just) our trademark. We want the customer to feel comfortable, a bit like he's at home." [The Local (Paris), 12-18-2013]

-- Interesting Life Ahead: From the birth register of Elkhart (Ind.) General Hospital, reported by The Elkhart Truth, Jan. 19, 2014: "Tamekia Burks, Elkhart, daughter (named La'Soulja Major La'Pimp Burks, 6 lbs., 8 oz.), 3:20 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 15, 2014." [Elkhart Truth, 1-19-2014]

-- The makers of a product called Poo-Pourri garnered a "coveted" advertising award from USA Today in December as one of the five worst ads of the year. Toilet users concerned about smell are encouraged to spray Poo-Pourri on the commode, pre-use, and in the television ad, a British-accented female sits on the throne, extolling the product. Opening line: "You would not believe the mother lode I just dropped." (Nonetheless, USA Today still found two other ads that upset its editors more.) [USA Today, 12-24-2013]

-- The Power of Prayer: Nelson Thabo Modupe threatened a lawsuit in January against South Africa's Eskom electric utility unless the company paid him the equivalent of about $22.3 million for "saving" the firm that amount during the weeks of the 2010 Soccer World Cup. Modupe reasoned that he had joined the Zion Christian Church just before the event and had prayed ("successfully") to God to spare the utility from blackouts and power reductions during that period (which would have cost Eskom millions more). Modupe, open to negotiation, said he would accept a partnership in the company as a compromise. [Independent Online (Cape Town), 1-24-2014]

-- World's Laziest Dog Sitter: Tyler Smith, 23, was charged in December with violating the city animal care ordinance in Greenville, S.C., after a photograph was posted on Facebook of his father's dog being lowered by rope from the second-story balcony of an apartment. According to the posting, it was time for the dog to make a call of nature, but it was raining, and Smith preferred not to go downstairs with him. [Associated Press via Post and Courier (Charleston, S.C.), 12-17-2013]

Three million Americans are infected with hepatitis C (as are millions more overseas), but a very recent drug, Sovaldi, completely cures it with 84 daily doses. However, its manufacturer, Gilead Sciences, has somehow determined that a fair U.S. price for the drug should be $1,000 per pill ($84,000 for the total treatment). Shouldn't Gilead reduce the price once it has recouped its expensive investment, asked an NPR reporter in December? "That's very unlikely we would do that," said Gilead's Gregg Alton, but "I appreciate the thought." (According to NPR, Gilead "developed" Sovaldi merely by buying Sovaldi's actual developer for $11 billion. At $84,000 per patient, Gilead would "recoup" that investment from the first 150,000 customers, leaving 2.85 million more U.S. patients to pay $84,000 each, for an income of $239 billion.) [NPR, 12-30-2013]

Trevor Robinson, 67, of Skellingthorpe, England, was re-arrested in November for violating a previous Anti-Social Behavior Order by pushing a doll-carrying baby carriage in public. (He was also reportedly performing a sex act on himself.) The 2009 ASBO barred him from possessing dolls, baby carriages and "any other" means in which toys might be transported. Robinson has admitted a having a problem with dolls -- due, he said, to his inability to father children himself. [Lincolnshire Echo, 1-24-2014]

It Pays to Know Your Rap Sheet: Jerry Pancoast, 42, was arrested on at least four charges after a high-speed chase through Iowa's Polk and Jasper counties in January following an alleged shoplifting of tweezers and an eyebrow pencil -- not even taken by Pancoast but by his companion. Pancoast drove at 100 mph, even on deflated tires and three rims that eventually caused his truck to catch on fire. The episode started as "a simple theft case," said the arresting officer, until Pancoast abruptly took off. He later explained that he panicked because he knew there were already arrest warrants against him -- but a subsequent search turned up none. [Des Moines Register, 1-24-2014]

Stories That Never Get Old: (1) Following the early-January winter storm in East Kingston, N.H., emergency crews came to the aid of a 12-year-old girl who had a "what would happen" moment and tried to lick a metal flagpole in her front yard. (2) Police in the Los Angeles suburb of Harbor City were searching in February for the man suspected of stealing surveillance cameras from a home, but not before he apparently failed to distinguish between the camera (which he took with him) and the recording unit (which remained in the home and captured his face clearly as he removed the camera). [WMUR-TV (Manchester), 1-4-2014] [KNBC-TV, 1-24-2014]

Can't Possibly Be True: Kyle Johnson shattered his skull so badly in a high-speed longboard accident in June (2010) that ordinary "decompressive craniectomy" (temporarily removing half of the skull to relieve pressure) would have been inadequate. Instead, doctors at McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden, Utah, removed both halves, leaving only a thin strip of bone (after placing Johnson in a drug-induced coma) and kept the skull frozen to prevent brittleness. After the swelling subsided, they reattached both halves of the skull to his head and woke him up gradually over a week's time. Johnson admits some memory problems and cognitive dysfunction, most notably his inability to focus on more than one concept at a time -- even when they are part of the same scene, such as two crayons on a table. Johnson said he probably won't go back to the longboard (but would try snowmobiling). [Fox News, 8-17-2010]

Thanks This Week to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

The International New York Times edition published in Kuala Lumpur on Jan. 22 carried a page-one story noting increased worldwide demand by meat processors for pigs raised in the fresh air rather than enclosed in pens -- illustrated by a photograph of a cluster of pigs feeding in an outdoor stall. However, the Malaysian printer (who had downloaded the digital pages and set them to paper) had added black boxes to cover just the faces of each pig in the photo. "If there is picture of nudes or (the) like, this we will cover (up)," a publisher's spokesman told the Malay Mail. "This is a Muslim country." (The story, headline and photo were otherwise identical to the versions that appeared elsewhere in New York Times editions.) [Malay Mail (Kuala Lumpur, 1-22-2014]

-- The convenience beverage market got jumbled recently when, first, Oregon-based Union Wine Co. announced in November that it would soon sell its Underwood pinot gris and pinot noir in 12-ounce cans and, second, the London department store Selfridges unveiled a champagne vending machine for New Year's celebrations. (The French bottler Moet & Chandon offered bottles of bubbly behind glass doors for the equivalent of $29.) [The Oregonian, 11-25-2013] [Daily Telegraph, 11-15-2013]

-- Marketing Challenges: (1) "Does Germany really need a gourmet restaurant for dogs?" asked Berlin's Bild newspaper. Regardless, the Pets Deli in the Grunewald neighborhood of Berlin offers servings for the equivalent of about $4 to $6, either take-out or arranged in metal bowls on Pets Deli's floor. Said owner David Spanier, lauding his upscale, healthful treats, "Junk food is bad for animals." (2) Around Tokyo, "idle boredom is an impossible option," wrote Vice.com in December, as a reporter described a resort just out of town where one could swim in a pool of green tea, coffee, sake or (the most popular treat) wine. "A giant bottle of merlot" spilled into a pond the size of a minivan, he wrote (while braving the Yunessun resort's warnings not to drink from the pool). Though both-sex nudity is tolerated in Japan's hot springs spas, Yunessun discourages it. [Agence France-Presse via Yahoo News, 1-3-2014] [Vice.com, 12-10-2013]

-- The Joy of Researching: A team of Czech Republic researchers led by Vlastimil Hart, writing in Frontiers in Zoology in December, reported that dogs (among a few mammals), dealing with a nature's call, spontaneously align their body axis with the Earth's magnetic field. To reach that conclusion, the researchers said they observed 70 dogs of 37 breeds during defecation (1,893 observations) and urination (5,582) over a two-year period. [Frontiers in Zoology, 12-27-2013]

-- If We Can Do It, We Should Do It: (1) ThinkGeek.com has introduced the Tactical Laser-Guided Pizza Cutter, at a suggested $29.95, for helping to achieve straight-line precision in those difficult four-cut (eight-slice) pizza formulations. (2) From the Japanese lingerie manufacturer Ravijour comes a bra whose front clasp can be locked unless its built-in heart-rate monitor signifies that the heartbeat is characteristic of "true love." (Ravijour said it is still testing the bra.) [Huffington Post, 12-3-2013]

-- Man's BFFs: (1) The Battersea Dogs and Cats Home in Fulham, England, admitted in December that a rescued Staffordshire bull terrier, Barney, had a ladies' underwear-eating habit and that potential adopters should keep him away from laundry baskets. (In his first days at Battersea, officials say, he "passed" knickers three times.) (2) The Cairns (Australia) Veterinary Clinic warned in December of several reports of dogs becoming addicted to licking cane toads (which notoriously protect themselves by a venomous secretion that can be hallucinogenic). One vet told Brisbane's Courier-Mail of individual "serial lickers" treated for cane toad poisoning several times a year. [GetWestLondon.co.uk (Uxbridge), 12-19-2013] [Courier-Mail, 12-16-2013]

-- Who Knew That Racoons Were Easily Offended? The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals condemned a Pet Expo in Greenhithe, England, in October after reports emerged that a trainer had showcased "Melanie," a racoon who rides a bicycle-like device, apparently to great acclaim. An RSPCA statement denounced the expo for "degrading" a "wild animal" in such a "demeaning light." [KentOnline (Medway City Estate, England), 10-29-2013]

-- Management Comes to the Terrorism Industry: (1) In November, the Army of Islam (Syrian rebels) announced, via a dazzling, fully functional website, that it had job "vacancies" in the fields of graphic design, photography, printing, journalism, reporting and media promotion and programming. The anti-Assad force already has a Facebook page featuring videos of alleged military victories. (2) Somalia's coastal pirates, having peaked in 2009 in boat captures, may now be laying low only because of the familiar business problem of "inventory management." A November analysis by Quartz (qz.com) showed the pirates with such a surplus of hijacked vessels (still with earnings potential) that they would likely wind those down before taking to the seas again. [BBC News, 11-6-2013] [Quartz, 11-11-2013]

-- Mumbai, India, has its share of Western-style financial advisers using computer programs familiar to Wall Street -- but with the additional layering of "financial astrologers," who forecast successes and failures based on the alignment of the planets, among other indicators. According to a Business Week report in September, the GaneshaSpeaks service (with inspiration by the elephant-headed Lord Ganesha, god of wisdom) claims 1,200 subscribers at the equivalent of about $80 a year. Said one astrologer, "Fund managers used to laugh at me." During crises, he said, "I'm constantly crunching market and planetary data." [Business Week, 10-3-2013]

-- A group of (legal) prostitutes in the Netherlands began a campaign in December to have their occupation officially termed so dangerous and physically challenging that they should be allowed (as soccer players are) to save in tax-free pension funds. They carry out "difficult physical work," their lawyer said, and their careers are likewise short-lived -- much better-suited for the young. Furthermore, he pointed out, prostitutes are not able, post-career, to earn money coaching or by endorsements. [BBC News, 12-17-2013]

-- American health-care reformers routinely decry the inability of consumer-patients to compare prices of services to help drive down the costs. Two doctors, writing for the Journal of the American Medical Association in December, illuminated the problem by surveying 20 hospitals in the Philadelphia area. Nineteen fully disclosed the prices for parking in the hospital garage (and potential discounts were shown), but only three of the 20 would disclose their prices for routine electrocardiograms ($137, $600, $1,200). [JAMAInternalMedicine.com, 12-2-2013]

In ubiquitous public relations announcements around Pittsburgh, the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center (UPMC) proudly points to its 52,000-person workforce delivering high-quality care. However, when the government sought to collect payroll taxes on UPMC, the company claimed it owed nothing because not a single employee actually works for UPMC. All 52,000 are, technically, on the books of UPMC's 40-plus subsidiaries, and a UPMC spokesman told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in October that he not only did not know which subsidiary the UPMC CEO worked for but which one he himself worked for. (He also said he did not know how many of the subsidiaries paid payroll taxes, but a UPMC attorney said its arrangement is "widely practiced throughout the business community"). [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 10-22-2013, 11-11-2013]

Two 16-year-olds tried to pull off a street robbery at a housing complex in the Bernal Heights neighborhood of San Francisco in December, but one was arrested and the other is no longer with us. According to police, the victim cooperated fully with the two, but for some reason, one of the muggers fired his gun anyway. The bullet struck the victim (who was hospitalized, but will survive), ricocheted off his face and hit the shooter's partner, who died at the scene. [SFGate.com, 12-27-2013]

Thanks This Week to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

America's returning warriors continue to experience inexplicable difficulty after putting their lives at risk for their country. It took 13 years for Army Sgt. Maj. Richard Erickson to get his job back from his civilian employer after he took leave in 2000 to serve in the National Guard special forces. The employer soon fired him for taking "excessive military leave." The employer? The U.S. Postal Service, for which Erickson worked as a window clerk (and which was forced to reinstate him after a January 2014 ruling awarding him $2 million in back pay). Erickson had won several interim victories, but USPS fought each one, extending the case, and said in January that it might even appeal the latest ruling. [Los Angeles Times, 1-8-2014]

-- Happy New Year: (1) Once again, celebrants in France marked Jan. 1 by setting fire to 1,067 cars nationwide (down from 1,193 the previous Jan. 1). (2) In the Hillbrow neighborhood of Johannesburg, South Africa, celebrants apparently decided to abandon a 20-year-old tradition and not hurl furniture from high-rise apartments. (The Hillbrow custom was highlighted on one social-networking website, along with the New Year's graveyard gathering of relatives in Chile and Ireland's banging bread on walls to dispel evil spirits.) [Daily Telegraph (London), 1-1-2014] [Wall Street Journal, 1-2-2014]

-- Holy Mutations: Deformed animals born in developing countries often attract streams of pilgrims, seeking to touch a creature considered divinely blessed. In December, a five-legged cow in Raipur, India, had supposedly "caused" the last 30 women who touched it to give birth to boys. And a day after that report came one from Phuket, Thailand, in which a newborn gecko with six legs and two heads has become a magnet for visitors seeking clues to winning lottery numbers. [Daily Mail (London), 12-25-2013] [Phuket News, 12-26-2013]

-- In November the Journal-News of Hamilton, Ohio, examining various police union contracts in the state, learned that in several jurisdictions, officers are allowed to work their shifts even when less sober than some drivers whom they ticket for DUI. In Lebanon, Ohio, for instance, cops can work with a .04 blood-alcohol reading. In Butler County, a .04 reading triggers legal protections for officers that are unavailable to ordinary drivers. (However, in Lebanon, an officer's right to suck on a breath mint before taking the test was recently removed from the contract.) [Journal-News, 11-17-2013]

-- Judges as Romantics: (1) In December, Italy's top appeals court awarded a new trial to a man, 60, who had been convicted of having sex with an 11-year-old girl. Evidence had been excluded that the pair were having an "amorous relationship" with "feelings of love." (2) Alabama Judge James Woodroof of Limestone County, given two separate chances in December to sentence Austin Clem, 25, to jail time for raping a girl beginning when she was 13, both times opted for probation. (The no-jail sentences perhaps reflected that Clem's family and hers continued to socialize after the rapes.) [Agence France-Presse via Business Insider, 12-31-2013] [Associated Press via New York Times, 12-24-2013]

-- The Continuing British Campaign to Abolish Risks: (1) Britain's Royal Mail announced in December that it would stop delivery to Jeff and Sheila White's cottage in Carnforth because the carrier was frightened of cows. (Mrs. White said he was just lazy, in that when the cows were present, the carrier had to open and close a gate to get to their cottage.) (2) A 65-year-old school crossing guard resigned in October from a job he said he liked because officials at Manadon Vale Primary School had ordered him to stop playfully "high-fiving" students. Guards, the school said, need both arms free to hold signs and make proper signals. [Daily Mail, 12-5-2013] [Plymouth Herald, 10-14-2013]

-- News of the Weird has reported the emerging mainstream treatment (for various bowel disorders) of fecal transplants, in which a healthier relative "donates" via enema supposedly healthier microbes to a sickly patient to normalize intestinal activity. The process, still strange to many patients despite its apparent success, has become so popular that in October Canadian officials felt the need to warn patients not to perform amateur transplants. Said one mother, after successfully having her 10-year-old daughter treated, "I think one day ... we will have fecal-matter banks like (blood banks and sperm banks)." [CTV, 10-4-2013]

-- Unclear on the Concept: In December, after Carmen Reategui, 34, was arrested for DUI in Readington Township, N.J., and was too impaired to drive home, she called Nina Petracca, 23, who arrived at the police station impaired herself (and was arrested for DUI), and both women called Ryan Hogan, 33, to take them home, but he also arrived impaired and was arrested. [Hunterdon County Democrat, 12-20-2013]

-- Classics: (1) Jamal Garrett, 29, was arrested in Antioch, Calif., in January after, police said, he tried to rob a Wells Fargo bank, but had fled empty-handed after a teller struggled to read a poorly written holdup note. (She and her manager said they did not even know immediately if it was a holdup or just a note requesting assistance.) (2) Daniel Severn, 27, pleaded guilty to burglary in England's Hull Crown Court in December, for trying to enter a home through the roof but getting trapped, upside down, in the bathroom. He dug his phone out of his pocket, but it fell into the toilet, and he remained hanging for an hour and a half until a resident arrived and found him. [San Jose Mercury News, 1-6-2014] [Daily Telegraph (London), 12-12-2013]

-- Unrelenting, swastika-tattooed New Jersey neo-Nazi Heath Campbell, 40, saw child No. 9 born in November, and once again, the county family welfare office removed it almost immediately. "I'm not allowed to have children because I'm a Nazi," he lamented. Campbell first made headlines in 2008 when a bakery declined to decorate a birthday cake for his son, Adolf Hitler Campbell, leading child welfare officials to investigate, and more seizures followed, now including the November-born Eva (Lynn Patricia) Braun. Campbell told reporters he would continue to fight for offspring. "I'll stop making them when they stop taking them." [New York Daily News, 12-30-2013]

-- News of the Weird informed readers in November that the Snuggle House was about to open in Madison, Wis., promising clients pajama-clad bedmates -- as long as no sex (or foreplay, even) took place. In fact, Snuggle House has yet to open (in part because the Madison assistant city attorney has yet to overcome her belief that cuddling without sex is impossible). However, a December Associated Press report noted that no-sex cuddleries thrive in Rochester, N.Y. (The Snuggery), Boulder, Colo. (Be the Love You Are), and San Francisco (Cuddle Therapy). Snuggle House owner Matthew Hurtado said he is still working with Madison officials on regulations to prevent naughtiness. [Associated Press via Washington Post, 12-8-2013]

-- Among planet Earth's most bizarre local customs is the Christmas tradition in Spain's Catalonia region of decorating Nativity scenes with figurines of famous people squatting and answering nature's calls. News of the Weird has noted that presidents (Bush and Obama) have been "honored" with posterior-baring statuettes, along with Queen Elizabeth. Right on cue this past Christmas, Spanish artists unveiled "caganers" in the images of Pope Francis and Nelson Mandela. (Perhaps the least-illogical explanation for the tradition is that if the manger is fertilized, the coming year's crops will flourish.) [Agence France-Presse via The Local (Rome), 11-16-2013]

-- To build an iron ore smelting plant in Iceland in 2009, Alcoa Inc. was forced to kowtow to the country's national obsession that elves ("hidden people") live underground and that construction projects must assure that the little fellas have had a chance to scatter gracefully to new habitats. Alcoa hired the necessary elf-monitoring "engineers," and eventually the project proceeded. In December 2013, the government announced it was temporarily abandoning a major road project connecting a remote peninsula and the capital of Reykjavik after it was "learned" that the route would disturb an "elf church." The likely outcome, again, according to an Associated Press dispatch, is that the project will resume once the elves have relocated. [Associated Press via San Jose Mercury News, 12-23-2013]