At least two U.S. medical schools so far are early adopters of Dr. Benjamin Lok's and Dr. Carla Pugh's "Robot Butt" for teaching doctors-in-training to properly (and compassionately) administer prostate exams. The robot, bent over a desk to simulate the patient profile, has sensors to alert the students if they dig too deeply or quickly for comfort. Other sensors enable a check on eye contact to evaluate "bedside manner." (News of the Weird reported a similar innovation in 2012 by Nobuhiro Takahashi, whose model's "sphincter" has the ability to "clench up" if the probing becomes too distressing.) [Huffington Post, 11-13-2013]

-- Neuroscientist James Fallon, fascinated by the brains of serial killers, experienced a seminal career moment in 2005 when he realized that his own brain scan was a dead-on match for the typical psychopath's. Subsequent self-examination revealed him to be, he said, a "pro-social psychopath," displaying traits similar to a killer's (aggressiveness, low empathy) and different ("killing" opponents only in games and debate, with little compassion for their haplessness). "I'm kind of an asshole," he admitted, according to a November report by The Smithsonian, "and I do jerky things that piss people off." Fallon failed to break bad, he guesses, because he "was loved (growing up), and that protected me." He figures he has not kicked his pathology but rather strives "to show to everyone and myself that I can pull (this balancing act) off." [Smithsonianmag.com, 11-22-2013]

-- Sucker's Game: (1) Homeless man James Brady had his New Jersey state benefits cut off in October for "hiding" income. He had found $850 on a sidewalk in April and turned it in; when no one came forward, it was returned to him, though he was unaware that he needed to report it as "income." (2) A 16-year-old Fox Chapel, Pa., boy realized at a football game in September that he was inadvertently carrying a pocket knife and conscientiously turned it in to a security guard -- which earned him a 10-day school suspension. The school's "zero tolerance" rule, said the boy's father, "sends a message (that) you should probably lie." (3) Betty Green was fired as clerk at the Speedway gas station in Lexington, Ky., in November when she "just said no" to an armed robber, who smiled and walked out. Company rules require always giving up the money. Said Green, "I don't think anybody knows what you are going to do until it happens to you." [Associated Press via ABC News, 11-10-2013] [KDKA-TV (Pittsburgh), 9-16-2013] [WLEX- TV (Lexington), 11-6-2013]

-- In November, the senior class president of Northwest Christian University in Eugene, Ore., "came out" -- as an atheist. Eric Fromm, 21, is apparently popular on campus, and an ABC News report revealed that he was under no pressure to resign or drop out. Said the director of university relations, "All of our students are on a journey. ... We as an institution meet students where they are at." Fromm said he was impressed with the school right from his initial visit. "No one was speaking in tongues or handling snakes, so I decided to stay." [ABC News, 11-11-2013]

-- Not the Usual Modus Operandi: (1) The vandalism of Marion County High School in Jasper, Tenn., on the eve of a big football game in November was not, after all, the work of arch-rival South Pittsburg -- notwithstanding the clues. The South Pittsburg markings were apparently made by Marion County teacher-coach Michael Schmitt, who was arrested. He told officers he was only trying to inspire the team (which lost anyway, 35-17). (2) Police in Urunga, Australia, charged teacher Andrew Minisini in December with taking three female students to a motel, giving them alcohol and seducing them -- not into sex, but into vandalizing the residence of one of Minisini's former colleague rivals. [Times Free Press (Chattanooga), 11-13-2013] [Sydney Morning Herald, 12-6-2013]

-- A government-subsidized, foundation-supported program for alcoholics in Amsterdam announced a "welfare"/"work" program offering the city's drunks the equivalent of about $14 a day -- and five free cans of beer -- for several hours of street-cleaning. Some beneficiaries told London's The Independent, in a November dispatch, that, of course, they intended to use the cash to buy even more beer. [The Independent, 11-20-2013]

In November, Dave Wilson, a white conservative candidate for the board of the Houston Community College System, pulled off an astonishing victory over the African-American incumbent, by distributing campaign materials that made him -- Wilson -- appear to be black and thus the favorite of African-Americans. Wilson's brochures depicting black "supporters" were all, he later said, copied from the Internet. [KHOU-TV, 11-10-2013]

In 2001, German computer repairman Armin Meiwes captured world attention when he was convicted of killing, and then sauteeing and eating parts of a Berlin engineer of particularly low self-esteem, who had offered himself on a German cannibal-fetish website. In November 2013, police in the German state of Saxony were investigating human body parts found at a bed-and-breakfast run by "Detlef G.," suggesting the parts were from "Wojciech S.," who frequented a cannibal-fetish website and who had traveled to meet Detlef -- and that the parts had been found in an area of the grounds used for "grilling." The investigation is continuing. [Spiegel Online, 11-29-2013, 12-4-2013]

Selfies: Cornelius Fergueson, 45, a psychologist for the Philadelphia Family Court System, was arrested in December for allegedly masturbating in front of his office window. Edward Alvin, 34, was arrested on a similar charge in November, in the lobby of the DMV office in West Palm Beach, Fla. Brian Hounslow, 37, was arrested in November (similar charge) in the ladies' room at a Tulsa, Okla., Walmart. (Asked the bewildered woman who called security: "Who gets up at 8:30 in the morning and decides they're going to go to Walmart, take off all their clothes, and masturbate in the woman's bathroom?") [Philly.com, 12-5-2013] [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 11-12-2013] [KJRH-TV (Tulsa), 11-20-2013]

-- A condominium association in Niles, Ill., is debating whether to pursue Norman Kazmierski since he has now moved. As a resident, he was accused of keying cars, egging hallways, disabling the emergency sprinkler system, and leaving several pounds of excrement in buildings in protest of alleged mistreatment. The association said it all started when one resident asked Kazmierski to please park his car between the lines so that parking spaces could be used more efficiently. [Chicago Sun-Times, 11-23-2013]

-- Police in Mayville, Wis., arrested John Grant, 42, in November for shooting his wife, Nicole, three times with a Taser gun. The couple tried to explain that Nicole (Green Bay Packers fan) had bet John (Chicago Bears fan) on the game, with the winner getting to Taser the loser (although she sheepishly said later that she didn't think John would actually shoot her). (According to breath tests, neither of the Grants could have lawfully driven a car.) [KARE-TV (Minneapolis), 11-6-2013]

During the September Guantanamo Bay trial of five people charged in connection in the 9/11 attacks, defense lawyers continued to complain that their "confidential" client information was being leaked from the poorly secured "classified" Pentagon computer network. Said the lead defense counsel (Air Force Col. Karen Mayberry), the normal Department of Defense "classified" network is so porous that she has been forced to use the Wi-Fi at the local Guantanamo Starbucks, which she regards as more secure. [Reuters via DigitalOne.com (Singapore), 9-20-2013]

Americans who accidentally shot themselves recently: A 31-year-old man, showing off his high-powered rifle to friends, shot off part of his face, Waterville, Maine (November). A 22-year-old woman, handing her brand-new assault rifle to her husband, shot herself (fatally) in the head, Federal Heights, Colo. (May). Two police chiefs shot themselves (Medina, Ohio, in April and Washington, N.H., in June). A 66-year-old firearms instructor, Winona, Minn., shot his finger while explaining to his wife that it was impossible to pull the trigger while the gun is holstered (April). Awkward Wounds: A Columbia, Mo., man shot in the "posterior" while removing his gun from his back pocket (May); a 23-year-old man, Charleston, W.Va., shot in the groin while holstering his weapon (August); a 43-year-old driver, Norfolk, Va., shot in the groin while waving his gun at bystanders who objected to his speeding (August). Waterville: [Morning Sentinel (Waterville), 11-8-2013] Federal: [KMGH-TV (Denver), 5-16-2013] Medina: [Medina Gazette, 4-18-2013] Washington: [WMUR-TV (Manchester), 6-3-2013] Winona: [Winona Daily News, 4-30-2013] Columbia: [KMIZ-TV (Columbia), 5-30-2013] Charleston: [Charleston Daily Mail, 8-28-2013] Norfolk: [WTKR-TV (Norfolk), 8-7-2013]

Thanks This Week to Ernest Isaacs and Gerard Zavaski, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

During the 2012 presidential campaign, Mitt Romney caught criticism for his proposed California home with parking on an upper floor, requiring a car elevator. Much more elaborate elevator access will be available in the new Porsche Design Tower near Miami (opening in 2016 and already 80 percent sold out, according to a December report by Slate.com). The 132 oceanside units (in square footage from 4,300 to 17,000 and in price from $5.3 million to $32.5 million) include glass-walled, elevator-accessed spaces for two or four cars (for people who would rather admire their Bugattis and Maseratis than the Atlantic Ocean). [Slate.com, 12-11-2013]

-- Equality Under Law: (1) In December, Fort Worth, Texas, judge Jean Boyd sentenced teenager Ethan Couch to probation with no jail time for drunkenly killing four people in a car crash -- apparently accepting Couch's "defense" that his affluent, permissive childhood had taught him irresponsibility. (WFAA-TV turned up a 2012 case in which Judge Boyd sentenced a 14-year-old black kid to prison for punching another boy who then fell, bumped his head and died.) (2) New York City prostitute murderer Rasheen Everett got a 29-year sentence in December, despite his lawyer's "defense" that the victim was merely a transgendered prostitute. ("Shouldn't (29-year sentences) be reserved for people who are guilty of killing certain (higher) classes of individuals?") [KRLD-TV (Dallas-Fort Worth), 12-10-2013] [WFAA-TV (Dallas-Fort Worth), 12-13-2013] [New York Post, 12-6-2013]

-- Tension over digital security is such that an alarming disclosure made in 2004 (and largely ignored) can resurface on a website in 2013 and appear even more astonishing. At the height of the Cold War in the 1960s (and largely because of Pentagon-White House contentiousness), "safeguards" were installed to prevent rogue generals from launching nuclear war on their own. What today would be a "PIN" number was assigned to each missile, but Strategic Air Command generals mocked the PINs by setting each one to "00000000" -- a code that today would be ridiculed as naive. (Furthermore, "00000000" was then written out on each missile's instructions, according to the former launch control officer who disclosed it in 2004.) [Huffington Post, 12-5-2013] [Center for Defense Information, 4-4-2004]

-- Many medical professionals are certain that Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski, 70, is a quack, treating cancer patients with expensive, FDA-unapproved substances, giving false hope to the terminally ill and in some cases diverting them from better-regarded treatments. However, according to a December USA Today investigation, Dr. Burzynski enjoys enthusiastic support from a small but dedicated group of patients, and neither regulators in Texas (where he is licensed) nor two juries (who turned back indictments against him) have been able to stop him. FDA regulators have been inconsistent toward him but appear to be gaining aggressiveness following recent inspections of his facilities. (Dr. Burzynski manufactures his own proprietary drugs, charging around $10,000 a month to patients who can pay.) [USA Today, 11-17-2013]

-- One Rule Fits All: Jim Howe, father of two children at South Cumberland Elementary School in Crossville, Tenn., was handcuffed and briefly detained by a sheriff's deputy in November after mistakenly believing that he could walk his kids home when class let out at 2 p.m. Actually, the school allows 2 p.m. departure only for kids being picked up in cars; pupils who leave on foot must wait until 2:35. (Howe assumed that the waiting period was only to protect young pedestrians from pick-up traffic.) Deputy Avery Aytes said a rule is a rule and that if Howe failed to cooperate, he would be jailed. [WATE-TV (Knoxville), 11-18-2013]

-- David Friehling, who was identified as Bernard Madoff's accountant soon after Madoff's 2008 confession to running his notorious Ponzi scheme, provided evidence in November that a certain Madoff associate knew all along that Madoff was running bogus numbers on his books -- testifying that he dutifully certified all such falsified documents that the associate showed him. Friehling, who pleaded guilty in 2009 for his personal role in the scam, also revealed that somehow he had actually blown $4.3 million of his own money in the swindle (on behalf of his children and other family members). [New York Post, 11-13-2013]

-- Overcompensation: Mr. Kelcey Nicholas, 28, was arrested, along with Lataura Jarrett, 21, in Mount Nebo, W.Va., in September and charged with having incestuous relations. Thus, West Virginia -- a popular target for jokes about cultural tolerance for incest and inbreeding -- appears to be boldly reversing course, since Jarrett is merely Nicholas' step-daughter. [WV Metro News (Charleston, W.Va.), 9-20-2013]

-- Police finally arrested William Footman, 55, in October as the person who somehow managed to swipe inside-front-door mats from at least 37 New York City banks between March and May 2013. No money was ever taken, and some banks were slow to realize the thefts -- unobservant that they had even had front-door mats in the first place. "I sell them to bodegas," Footman said. "Their floors get wet." [New York Times, 10-26-2013]

-- Rodney Rotert of Tulsa, Okla., filed a lawsuit recently against Philadelphia Insurance Companies demanding the return of "his" classic 1967 Chevrolet Camaro, supposedly worth about $100,000. His case is complicated by the fact that he also recently pleaded no contest to possessing stolen property, i.e., that very same car, stolen from an Arkansas dealer in 2007. (Rotert claims he bought the car legitimately, but he also changed the Vehicle Identification Number to obtain a false title.) Rotert said his legal claim, especially with the "current" VIN, is superior to the insurance company's claim. [KOTV, 11-18-2013]

While many educators lament the mediocrity of American universities in encouraging study of science and engineering, U.S. colleges are surely among world leaders in one area: sensitivity to students questioning their gender. In the current school year, Bellevue (Wash.) College and Mills College (Oakland, Calif.) have offered students unprecedented choices of self-identification. "Male/female" is no longer useful at Bellevue, which offers "feminine, masculine, androgynous, gender neutral, transgender and other." At Mills, students identify themselves as "agender, bigender, third-gender or gender-fluid," and select the pronoun they wish to be referred to with (he or she or ze or sie or ve, or the agrammatical "they"). [OpposingViews.com, 12-2-2013; Associated Press via Yahoo News, 11-30-2013]

When a pickpocket shared a taxi ride with him recently in China's Hunan province and somehow managed to lift Zou Bin's iPhone, Zou was frightened that he had lost all of his beverage-industry business contacts and began text-messaging desperate pleas to the thief. Several days later, in the postal mail, Zou received a list of his contacts, apparently carefully copied from the phone, totaling 11 handwritten pages of names and numbers, and as the story broke on Chinese social media, the earnest thief was referred to as "the conscience of the (robbery) industry," and compared to a member of the People's Liberation Army as the model conscientious citizen that the Chinese should aspire to. [BBC News, 11-25-2013]

-- Iowa lawyer Robert Allan Wright Jr. was suspended for a year by the Attorney Disciplinary Board in December for mishandling client funds. One client had received a "Nigerian inheritance" letter in 2011, and Wright apparently jumped at the opportunity to receive "$18 million," seemingly unaware of what almost everyone else in the developed world knows about unsolicited Nigerian business deals. By December 2013, Wright had looted accounts of other clients in order to pay the "fees" necessary to free up the $18 million. He was spared a more onerous punishment only because the board concluded that Wright "honestly ... continues to believe" that the inheritance is real -- that "one day a trunk full of ... one hundred dollar bills is going to appear upon his office doorstep." [AboveTheLaw.com, 12-6-2013]

-- Tough Sell for the French, Even at Discount: The Petite Syrah cafe‚ in the city of Nice, France, began pricing its coffee differently in December to introduce greater politeness among the notoriously brusque French. If a patron orders by saying, "Bonjour, un cafe, s'il vous plait" (i.e., with "hello" and "please"), the price is 1.40 euros (about $1.90). "Un cafe‚ s'il vous plait" -- not quite as polite -- costs 4.25 euros (about $5.80). The price for "Un cafe!" -- apparently the usual way of announcing one's need for coffee -- 7 euros (about $9.50). [TheLocal.fr (Paris), 12-10-2013]

Thanks This Week to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

America's foremost advocate for frontal lobotomies as "treatment" for mental disorder, the late Dr. Walter Freeman, performed an estimated 3,500 lobotomies during the 1940s and 1950s before opposition finally solidified against him, according to a December 2013 investigation by The Wall Street Journal. At the peak of his influence, he was so confident that he demonstrated the procedure to skeptics by hammering an icepick ("from his own kitchen," the Journal reported) into both eye sockets of an electrical-shocked patient and "toggling" the picks around the brain tissue, certain that he was severing "correctly." For years, Freeman (a neurologist untrained in surgery) marshaled positive feedback from enough patients and families for the procedure to survive criticism, and he spent his final years (until his death in 1972) securing patient testimonials to "prove" the validity of lobotomies. [Wall Street Journal, 12-13-1013]

-- Each Nov. 1 is a day (or two) of craziness in the isolated mountain village of Todos Santos Cuchumatanes, Guatemala, where Mayan tradition commands continuous horse races through town, jockeyed by increasingly drunk riders, until only a sober-enough winner remains. Collisions occur in the Race of the Souls, and occasionally someone dies, but the misfortune is met with a collective shrug and regarded as a spiritual offering for fertile crops during the coming year, according to an eyewitness this year reporting for Vice.com. Ironically, for the rest of the year, the village is largely alcohol-free except for that on hand to sell to tourists. [Vice.com, 11-5-2013]

-- Since the 13th century, sheepherders in Spain have had the right (still honored) to use 78,000 miles of paths in the country for seasonal flock migrations -- even some streets of Madrid, including a crossing of Puerta del Sol, described as Madrid's Times Square. The shepherds pay a customary, token duty, which, according to an October Associated Press dispatch, the government proudly accepts, given the prominence of Spain's native Merino sheep breed in the world's wool market. [Associated Press via Yahoo News, 10-6-2013]

-- Postal worker Umakant Mishra, of Kanpur city in Uttar Pradesh, India, was freed by a criminal court in December -- 29 years after he was charged when a money-order account turned up 92 cents short. Mishra was called to judicial hearings 348 times over the years, but it was not until recently that the government admitted it had no witnesses for the court to hear against him. A December BBC News dispatch reported, citing "official" figures, that more than 30 million cases are pending in Indian courts. [BBC News, 12-3-2013]

The evangelical educational organization Answers in Genesis, which has established a series of children's books and a creationist museum, announced recently that it would enter the bond market to fund its most ambitious project -- a creationist amusement park centered around a "life-size" reconstruction of Noah's Ark, for which it estimates it will need at least $73 million from investors. Issuing bonds might be seen as desperate since AiG has raised only $13.6 million privately since proposing the Ark-park, but a Georgetown University finance professor, contacted by Slate.com, suggested that the bonds' terms place them in the high-risk "junk bond" category (perhaps better described as "faith-based," having virtually no resale value and without an independent bond rating). [Slate.com, 5-12-2013]

-- Took It Too Far: Coughlan elementary school in Langley, British Columbia, announced to parents in November that henceforth it would not just prohibit abusive or unwanted physical contact among its kindergarteners, but all contact. Officials said they were responding to parents who objected to "rough play," but, said another parent, incredulous, "No tag, no hugging, no touching at all. ... I am not going to tell my daughter she can't touch her friends at school. I am going to teach her boundaries." [The Globe and Mail (Toronto), 11-5-2013]

-- Tone Deaf: In South Africa, with one of the highest incidences of rape in the world, one question on its recent nationwide high school standardized drama test asked students to direct (as if staging a play) the rape of a baby, given only certain props. South Africa's Education Department defended the question as assessing pupils' concept of "using metaphor" as a theatrical technique. The question was based on an award-winning play by anti-rape activist Lara Foot Newton (who, of course, wrote primarily for adults). [BBC News, 11-27-2013]

-- In criminal cases, DNA is usually a smoking gun for the prosecution -- except, of course, if there is an "evil twin." In November a judge in Colorado Springs ruled that a suspect, Army Lt. Aaron Lucas, should have the opportunity to blame his brother Brian for a string of sexual assaults because the DNA might be Brian's. Brian has not been charged and denies any involvement, but Aaron said Brian was in two crime-scene states that Aaron was never in. Said a Denver defense lawyer, "The only time I have seen (the evil-twin defense) was on 'Law and Order: SVU.'" [Associated Press via USA Today, 11-16-2013]

-- Of course: Four villagers in northeast Kenya, angry that cheetahs were killing their goats, lay in wait one night in November and then chased down and captured the cheetahs. Cheetahs are regarded as the fastest mammals on Earth, but they lack endurance; Kenyans are marathon prodigies. Indeed, the cheetahs were captured only when they ran out of gas after about four miles of pursuit by the Kenyans, and were handed over alive, and exhausted, to the Kenyan Wildlife Service. [BBC News, 11-15-2013]

Many were shocked to learn in November that some accused "satanic cult" child molesters were still in prison -- even though proven by time, journalism and medical knowledge to have been innocent victims of widespread 1980s and 1990s hysteria. Arrangements have finally been made to release Austin, Texas, day care operators Fran and Dan Keller (after 21 years) and four San Antonio women (imprisoned for 14 years for "assaulting" two adolescent girls). In both cases, juries and judges had been persuaded by testimony about scarring on girls' hymens, and, frightened by the era's high-profile McMartin School and other cases, issued long prison terms. (The Austin case's doctor later admitted he had misdiagnosed the scarring, and the San Antonio doctor's conclusions were vanquished by the Texas Innocence Project and a relentless Canadian researcher.) All six said they intended to pursue full legal exoneration. [Austin American-Statesman, 11-26-2013; Associated Press via Yahoo News, 11-19-2013]

Not Ready for Prime Time: Johnny Deleon, 20, was arrested in Houston in October, caught in the act of removing wheel caps from a Cadillac Escalade in a deli's parking lot. Even in the daylight, Deleon apparently failed to notice the many police cars in the lot (as a ceremonial planning meeting was underway in the deli). Officers, from among 30 inside, dashed out and arrested Deleon. [KPRC-TV (Houston), 10-29-2013]

(1) Once again a fortuitous, unrelated medical exam was credited with possibly saving a life. Los Angeles television personality Julie Chang suffered a concussion in a surfing accident recently, but the routine X-ray also showed a previously unrevealed brain tumor. She was immediately scheduled for surgery and reported to colleagues that she "will be OK." (2) New York animal rights activist Steven Wise pushed the envelope in December by filing a writ of habeas corpus (requiring jailers to prove any legal basis for an individual's detention) for a chimpanzee living at a Gloversville, N.Y., farm (although, in fairness, "Tommy" is being held by an animal "rescuer" who said he is seeking a proper home). (U.S. habeas corpus law has heretofore applied only to humans.) [Fox News, 11-19-2013] [New York Times, 12-3-2013]

(1) Shannon Johanson of Northampton, England, is awaiting sentencing after a conviction for possessing animal pornography, which is one of the categories of "extreme" porn criminalized by a 2008 U.K. statute. The photo is of a woman "performing a sex act" with a dead fish (and, under the statute, whether "dead or alive" is irrelevant). (2) Former 30-year-veteran schoolteacher Mark Berndt, 61, pleaded guilty in November to charges involving at least 20 elementary-school-age children that he had assigned to play the "tasting game" in 2011, in which blindfolded children were fed cookies topped with semen. Berndt has not yet explained how he could possibly have conceived such a game. [Vice.com, 12-5-2013] [Los Angeles Times, 11-14-2013]

Thanks This Week to David Bacque and Gary DaSilva, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.