Do Ask, Must Tell (and Show): The Turkish military's legendary homophobia (rare among NATO countries) comprises both zero-tolerance for homosexuality by service personnel and the requirement of rigorous proof by anyone applying for exemption from service by claiming to be gay. (Homosexuality is the only disqualifier from compulsory service for able-bodied men.) In personal experiences recounted for Foreign Policy magazine in December, some gay men seeking exemptions were ordered to verify their claims by producing witnesses to their homosexual acts, or by photographing themselves fully engaged -- and to be persuasive to authorities, the conscript had to be depicted in the "receiving" position in sexual intercourse.

-- Daring New Products: (1) Introduced at a New York food fair in January (and planned for U.S. distribution later this year): Great Scot International's potato-like chips in the "flavor" of Scotland's "national delicacy" (yes -- haggis chips!). (2) Burger King U.K.'s Christmas-season special this year (available briefly in December): a regular Whopper, garnished with a generous helping of brussels sprouts.

-- The notoriously isolated North Korean economy only permits new products to be sold as needs arise, and in December (according to a report by Agence France-Presse), the ministries began allowing Western-style "skinny jeans" (having relaxed the rule requiring female workers to wear skirts). Also recently for sale: human fertilizer (owing to the attrition of the animals that previously produced manure for family gardens).

-- The SEGA video company's Japan division began test-marketing its new Toylets game in January, designed for men's urinals. With sensors in the basin and a video screen at eye level, men score points based on the strength and accuracy of their streams. Among the suite of games: sumo wrestling (squirt the opponent out of the circle), graffiti-erasure (strong streams wipe out more graffiti), and skirt-raising (the stronger the stream, the higher a woman's skirt is "blown" upward).

(1) In a December incident near Orlando, a former Ku Klux Klan "Cyclops," George Hixon, 73, and his son, Troy, 45, and Troy's girlfriend fought, resulting in Troy's allegedly firing gunshots toward the woman's feet and the subsequent arrests of the two men. According to Osceola County deputies, the altercation was precipitated by the girlfriend's unhappiness that she got the "cheap beer" while the men kept the "good beer" (Budweiser) for themselves. (2) The County Commission in Jackson, Ga., delayed a vote in December on new cell-phone towers at the request of one official with questions about the county's contract -- Commissioner Gator Hodges.

-- Good to Know: Perhaps too many late nights at Japan's National Institute for Materials Science led to the recent quixotic "testing" of superconductor metals by submersion in alcoholic beverages. Yoshihiko Takano and his colleagues developed experiments to soak the metals to see if resistance to electricity is decreased (and, thus, conductivity increased). They found success with whiskey, sake, beer and the vodka-like shochu, but red wine worked best, improving conductivity by 62 percent.

-- Flip a Coin: Among human procreation technologies soft-pedaled to tamp down controversy is surgeons' ability to selectively abort some, but not all, fetuses in a womb in cases where in vitro fertilization (IVF) has overproduced (usually involving mothers expecting triplets or greater, which pose serious health risks). More controversially, according to a December National Post report, a Toronto-area couple told their physician that IVF-created "twins" would be too much for them to care for and that the doctor should terminate one fetus (randomly chosen?) and leave the other.

British researchers, writing in the journal Evolution in November, described a species of birds in Africa's Kalahari Desert that appear to acquire food by running a "protection racket" for other birds. The biologists hypothesize that because drongo birds hang out at certain nests and squawk loudly when predators approach, the nest's residents grow more confident about security and thus can roam farther away when they search for food -- but with the hunters gone, the drongos scoop up any food left behind. (The researchers also found that drongos are not above staging false alarms to trick birds into leaving their food unguarded.)

Extreme: (1) The North Dakota Supreme Court ruled in September that the overdraft fee charged by Quality Bank of Fingal, N.D., to customer Lynette Cavett, of nearly $12,000, was nonetheless legal. The court found that the fee, which reached $100 a day, was disclosed to Cavett in advance. (2) Automaker BMW of Germany announced testing in December of a new technology ("flash projection") in which an ultra-bright light sears the company logo into a viewer's vision, where it lingers even if the viewer subsequently closes his eyelids tightly.

(1) A Roman Catholic church tribunal in Modena, Italy, ruled in November that a marriage should be annulled on the grounds of the wife's adultery even though she apparently only "thought about" having an affair. Her now-ex-husband believes she never actually followed through on her desires for an "open marriage." (2) Because two different laws operate, New York state prisoners, when they win lawsuits against guards who have injured them, keep the entire amount of the award, but when New York state mental patients win similar lawsuits, the hospitals can claim a large portion of the money back, as repayment for the daily cost of providing "care." The New York Times reported in December that the dual system is unique to the state.

Questionable Judgments: (1) A 26-year-old man was arrested in San Pablo, Calif., in December and accused of stealing a taxi after tricking the driver into momentarily exiting the cab. The man then drove to a Department of Motor Vehicles office, where he attempted to register ownership of the car. (2) Kyndric Wilson, 19, was being booked into jail in Fort Walton Beach, Fla., in December on a misdemeanor charge when a routine search revealed a bag of cocaine. As deputies then began processing the more serious drug-possession charge, Wilson was heard saying, "(Expletive), I knew I shouldn't (have) brought that in ... (expletive)."

"Sovereign" citizens (militia types) continue to insist that their knowledge of the U.S. Constitution is superior to that of virtually every American historian, judge, legislator, governor and law professor who ever studied it. For example, Schaeffer Cox (head of the Alaska Peacemakers Militia), in District Court in Fairbanks, Alaska, in December on a misdemeanor gun charge, commenced a series of "constitutional" claims. Asserting that he is "chairman of the joint chiefs of staff" of the "de jure republic" of America, as empowered by the real Constitution (and not the one in popular use, which is a bogus document that Abraham Lincoln secretly sneaked in), Cox claimed that all Americans are kings and queens and that no one is required to obey laws unless necessary to avoid harming other "sovereigns" (citizens). Cox attempted to serve papers on the district court judge, but was rebuffed by state troopers.

Bennie Casson filed a $100,000 lawsuit in Belleville, Ill., in July (1997) against PT's Show Club in nearby Sauget for its negligence in allowing a stripper to "slam" her breasts into his "neck and head region" without consent as he watched her perform. Dancer Susan Sykes (aka "Busty Heart") claims show business's biggest chest (88 inches), which Mr. Casson said was responsible for his "bruised, contused, lacerated" neck. (Mr. Casson's case ended even more tragically two years later when, still in pain and in despair over failing to obtain legal representation for the lawsuit, he took his own life.)

Two hundred boredom "activists" gathered in London in December at James Ward's annual banal-apalooza conference, "Boring 2010," to listen to ennui-stricken speakers glorify all things dreary, including a demonstration of milk-tasting (in wine glasses, describing flavor and smoothness), charts breaking down the characteristics of a man's sneezes for three years, and a PowerPoint presentation on the color distribution and materials of a man's necktie collection from one year to the next. Another speaker's "My Relationship With Bus Routes" seemed well-received, also. Observed one attendee, to a Wall Street Journal reporter: "We're all overstimulated. I think it's important to stop all that for a while and see what several hours of being bored really feels like."

(1) The Key Underwood Memorial Graveyard near Cherokee, Ala., is reserved as hallowed ground for burial of genuine coon dogs, which must be judged authentic before their carcasses can be accepted, according to a December report in The Birmingham News. The Tennessee Valley Coon Hunters Association must attest to the dog's having had the ability "to tree a raccoon." (In March, a funeral for one coon dog at Key Underwood drew 200 mourners.) (2) Safety Harbor, Fla., trailer-park neighbors Joe Capes and Ronald Richards fought in December, with sheriff's deputies called and Capes arrested for assaulting Richards. The two were arguing over whether the late country singer Conway Twitty was gay.

-- A sculpture on display at Normandale Community College in Bloomington, Minn., was stolen in December. The piece, by artist John Ilg, consisted of wire mesh over a frame, with 316 rolled-up dollar bills stuffed in the mesh. The piece was titled, "Honesty." (Attitudes have changed in the two years since the piece was first presented, at the Minnesota State Fair, when visitors liked it so much that they added rolled bills to the display.)

-- Elected officials caught violating the very laws they have sanctimoniously championed are so numerous as to be No Longer Weird, but the alleged behavior of Colorado state Sen. Suzanne Williams following her December car crash seems over-the-top. Though a strong seat belt and child-seat advocate, Williams was driving near Amarillo, Texas, with her two unbelted grandchildren when her SUV drifted over the center line and hit another vehicle head-on, killing that driver and ejecting Williams' 3-year-old grandchild, who survived with injuries. A Texas Department of Public Safety report noted that Williams was seen scooping up the child, returning him to the SUV and belting him in.

-- Unclear on the Concept: A 41-year-old woman, arrested in Callaway, Fla., in December for beating her husband with a rock, explained that she was angry that he was endangering his health by smoking despite being ill. Said she, "A woman can only take so much."

-- Katrina Camp, 30, was picked up by deputies in September on a Forest Service road near Nederland, Colo., having earlier walked away from her unclothed 2-year-old daughter, whom she had left to fend for herself in a pickup truck. Camp, however, was candid about the problem: "I suck." ("You're a parent," she told a deputy. "(Y)ou know how it is. Sometimes you just need a break.")

By his own testimony, John Ditullio is a hateful neo-Nazi who despised his next-door neighbors in New Port Richey, Fla. (a white woman with an African-American friend and a son who was openly gay), but when the son was murdered and the mother attacked in 2006, Ditullio denied involvement, and though he earned a hung jury in his first trial, his retrial was scheduled for November 2010. For each day of the trial, a makeup artist was hired (paid for by the government at $135 a day) to cover up Ditullio's swastika neck tattoo and crude-phrase cheek tattoo so as to keep jurors from being unfairly prejudiced. (Nonetheless, Ditullio was convicted in December and sentenced to death.)

Suspected of stealing scraps of copper in Riverside, Ohio, in December: Jesus Christ Superstar Oloff, 33. Arrested for sex abuse against a 6-year-old boy in Oklahoma City in October: Lucifer Hawkins, 30. On trial in December for extortion in Britain's Southwark Crown Court (threatening to reveal a sexual affair): Ms. Fuk Wu. Sought as a suspect in a convenience store killing in Largo, Fla., in December (and an example of the highly revealing "Three First Names" theory of criminal liability), Mr. Larry Joe Jerry -- who actually has four first names (Larry Joe Jerry Jr.).

-- The Toronto Public Library began its "Human Library" project in November with about 200 users registering to "check out" interesting persons from the community who would sit and converse with patrons who might not otherwise have the opportunity to mingle with people like them. The first day's lend-outs, for a half-hour at a time, included a police officer, a comedian, a former sex worker, a model, and a person who had survived cancer, homelessness and poverty. The Human Library actually harkens back to olden times, said a TPL official, where "storytelling from person to person" "was the only way to learn."

-- If Life Gives You a Lemon, Make Lemonade: (1) When Bernie Ecclestone, CEO of the Formula One racing circuit, was mugged in November and had his jewelry stolen, he sent a photograph of his battered face to the Hublot watch company and convinced its chief executive to run a brief advertising campaign, "See What People Will Do for a Hublot." (2) The treasurer of Idaho County, Idaho, turned down the November suggestion of local physician Andrew Jones -- that more cancers might be detected early if the county sent colonoscopy suggestions to residents along with their official tax notices. The treasurer said residents might find the reminders "ironic."

Ouch! (1) Joe Colclasure, 25, was arrested and charged with robbing the bank located inside an Albertson's supermarket in Palm Desert, Calif., in December. Several employees and customers had recognized Colclasure while he was committing the robbery, but it wasn't over for him until he accidentally slammed the bank's door on his hand during his getaway. The pain disabled him long enough so that an employee could hold him until police arrived. (2) Thieves often leave police-trackable trails from the scene to their home, but for alleged shoplifter Michael Barton, 29, of Venango County, Pa., the trail was of his own blood, starting at the Wal-Mart where he had cut himself badly removing razor blades from their packages in order to fit more into his pocket.

Charles Clements, 69, appeared in this space two months ago in a report on his having deliberately shot to death a 23-year-old neighbor whose fox terrier had answered a call of nature on the perfectly manicured lawn of the reportedly obsessive Clements. (According to witnesses, the victim was displaying macho bravado just before the shooting, but Clements admitted he was not under attack when he fired.) On Dec. 29, a judge in a Chicago suburb rejected requests for a 20-year sentence and ordered Clements to serve only four months -- out of jail, on probation.

A Police Officer's Dream Come True: Vincent Morrissey's police brutality lawsuit went to trial in New Haven, Conn., in December (1997), and West Haven police officer Ralph Angelo was on the witness stand, claiming that Morrissey himself had provoked the encounter by swinging at Angelo. Morrissey's attorney, skeptical of the testimony, asked Officer Angelo to demonstrate to the jury how hard Morrissey had swung at him. Before the lawyer could clarify what he meant by "demonstrate," Officer Angelo popped the lawyer on the chin, staggering him and forcing an immediate recess.

A now-10-year-old church in Denver ministers to (as contemplated by 1 Corinthians 4:11-13) the homeless, the reviled, and the persecuted and formally named itself after the actual words in verse 13, the "Scum of the Earth" Church. The congregation touts nonjudgmental Christianity; owns an elegant, aging building (but holds services elsewhere because of fire code violations); and is a rough mix of anarchists, punk rockers, environmentalists and disaffected teens perhaps mainly keen on angering their parents. "Scum" (as church members matter-of-factly call themselves) tilt mildly philosophically conservative (though not nearly evangelical), connected only by the common belief that "God is love," according to a December report in Denver's Westword.

-- Among the recent works funded by Arts Council England was a "painting" consisting of a blank canvas, for which artist Agnieszka Kurant was paid the equivalent of about $2,300 and on which she intends to paint something in the future. Rounding out her exhibition were a "sculpture" that was not really present and a "movie" that had been shot with no film in the camera.

-- In October, borrowing from the U.S. Air Guitar Championship (which honors self-made guitar "heroes" playing wild rock 'n' roll as if they were holding real guitars), the second annual Air Sex Championship was held in the Music Hall in Brooklyn, N.Y., and eventually won by Lady C. (whose performance could not easily be described). Each contestant (solo only) had two minutes to cover "all the bases": "meeting, seduction, foreplay, intercourse, and, if successful, afterglow," and exposing body parts was not allowed.

-- Questionable Judgments: (1) The New Jersey Government Record Council ruled in December that the town of Somerset had overcharged Tom Coulter in 2008 by $4.04 on the $5 it collected for a compact disc of a council meeting and must issue a refund. The town estimates that it spent about $17,000 fighting Coulter's appeals (and paying his attorney's fees). (2) Brandi Jo Winkelman, 17, was charged in September in Juneau, Wis., with violating the state's child abuse law after a schoolyard fight and risks a maximum of six years in prison. Authorities charged Winkelman even though her "victim" was a classmate older than Winkelman.

-- Police in Hyderabad, Pakistan, recently arrested a doctor for the increasingly suspect crime of insulting Islam -- after he merely tossed away the business card of a man who happened to have the last name "Muhammad." According to a December Associated Press dispatch, "dozens" of Pakistanis are sentenced to death each year for such tangential references to the holy name of Muhammad, but the government fears that trying to repeal the law might incite Muslim extremism.

If You're Not Safe in Your Own Home ...: (1) At 2 a.m. on Nov. 13 in Akron, Ohio, a 70-year-old woman was the victim of a home invasion when Cory Buckley, 22, broke in and robbed her. According to the police report, the woman was seated on the commode at the time, and Buckley was dressed in a clown mask. (2) Melissa Wagaman, 33, was convicted in November in Hagerstown, Md., of a February home invasion in which she broke into her neighbor's house while wearing only a bridal skirt and veil. She later blamed cold medicine and marijuana.

Among the Major League Baseball players (average salary: about $3.3 million) who spent time on the disabled list in 2010: Kendry Morales (Angels), who broke his leg jumping on home plate after hitting a home run; Brian Roberts (Orioles), who was out a week with a concussion when he smacked himself in the head with his bat after striking out; Chris Coghlan (Marlins), who needed knee surgery after giving a teammate a playful post-game shaving-cream pie; and Geoff Blum (Astros), who needed elbow surgery after straining his arm putting on his shirt.

Robert Hurst, 47, was charged after an incident at the cemetery in Picayune, Miss., pursuing his hobby of "orb photography" -- capturing the images of circles of light at night, especially the ones that appear to him as faces. Hurst was spotted one night in December, naked, setting up his camera, thus giving rise to a charge of indecent exposure. He explained that he thought bare skin would be the "best canvas" for orb photography.

Fortunately for Police, Disguising His E-Mail Address Did Not Occur to Him: Kyle D. Gore, 23, of Naperville, Ill., was arrested in December for allegedly downloading child pornography on his computer. Police identified Gore as the man trying to find people online who could help him have encounters with children, using the address "kdg31087@aol.com" (an unimaginative identifier for someone of Gore's initials and born, as Gore was, in 1987).

Anatomically Equipped Shoplifters: (1) Video surveillance at the Beall's Outlet store in Crestview, Fla., in December showed a woman handing clothing to a man, who would roll it up and hand it back, and the woman concealing the items in her purse, or in the case of one pair of shoes, under her breasts. The pair were charged with misdemeanor theft. (2) Ailene Brown, 28, and Shmeco Thomas, 37, were arrested in Edmond, Okla., in November and charged with shoplifting at a TJ Maxx store. Surveillance video revealed that, among the items stuffed in the pair's belly fat and under their armpits and breasts were four pairs of boots, three pairs of jeans, a wallet and gloves.

-- The federal agency that administers Medicare acknowledged to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel in November that the government often overpays for patient wheelchairs due to a quirk in its rules. Ordinary wheelchairs sell for $100 to $350, but Medicare cannot reimburse patients who buy the chairs; it can only pay for rentals (for up to 13 months), for $40 to $135 a month. (A 2009 audit found that Medicare allowed up to $7,215 for oxygen dispensers that were available for sale for $587 and $4,018 for a power wheelchair that cost suppliers $1,048.)

-- A December Wall Street Journal investigation turned up instances of physical-therapy doctors earning millions of dollars a year in Medicare payments by "treating" nonexistent patients or by overtreating real patients or by providing controversial "treatments" that other therapists say are useless. Describing the work of hard-partying, spike-haired Miami Beach doctor Christopher Wayne, one former physical-therapy association official likened Wayne's expensive "treatment" to "back rubs." (Medicare law requires prompt payment to doctors but prevents the public release of doctors' billing records -- even if all patient identification is hidden -- thus ensuring that any Medicare abuses can only be uncovered by a small team of federal investigators and not by the press unless, as the Wall Street Journal did, they investigate patient by patient.)

London's The Independent reported from Tokyo in December on the prolonged, even "epic" sulk (a state of funk called "hikikomori") that afflicts a million young professionals, who simply withdraw from their careers and hole up nearly 24 hours a day in their apartments (or rooms in their parents' homes) for months at a time, emerging only to gather food before retreating inside for TV or video games. Many psychiatrists call it merely an extreme reaction to parents who have pressured their sons to succeed. (In July 2008, the Japanese software company Avex produced a video to help those men, simply featuring a series of young women staring into the lens, occasionally saying "Good morning," so that hikikomori sufferers can practice feeling the gazes of strangers.)