-- More Creative Alternate-Site Surgery: Doctors from the University of California, San Diego, and the University of Washington announced in September that they could just as well handle certain brain surgeries by access not in the traditional way through the top of the skull but by drilling holes in the nose and, more recently, the eye socket. (Since classic brain surgery requires that the top of the skull be temporarily removed, the breakthroughs mean fewer complications.) These innovations follow on the inroads in recent years in performing kidney-removal and gall-bladder surgery not by traditional abdominal incisions but through, respectively, the vagina and the anus.

-- In a heartwarming climax to an adopted son's emotional search for his birth mother (who gave him up for adoption 33 years ago), Richard Lorenc of Kansas managed to track down mom Vivian Wheeler, 62, living in Bakersfield, Calif., where she is retired -- as a circus-sideshow "bearded lady" (the result of hypertrichosis, also known as "werewolf syndrome"). Lorenc said he can see their similarities right through Wheeler's beard, which she keeps now at a length of 11 inches. The relationship was to be confirmed by a DNA test paid for by the Maury Povich TV show, but at press time, the result had not been announced.

-- Sports Fans Over the Line: (1) Marie Murphy, a fifth-grade teacher in Stratford, N.J., and her husband lost almost everything in a house fire in April, but when she arrived at the burning home, she defied firefighters and dashed inside to retrieve a single prized possession: her Philadelphia Phillies season tickets. "My husband was so mad at me..." (Later, a Phillies representative gently informed her that the team would have reprinted her tickets for free.) (2) Justin Witcombe, 31, showed a reporter in Geelong, Australia, in September his full body of tattoos of his three idols in life: boxer Mike Tyson, the rock group KISS, and his local Collingwood soccer team, whose mascot is inked prominently on Witcombe's penis.

-- At least 13 percent of U.S. teenagers report having intentionally injured themselves as cries for help, and among the more extreme manifestations is "embedding" -- the insertion of glass, wood, metal and other material, just under the skin. Writing in the October issue of the journal Radiology, a doctor at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, followed up on 11 cases involving 76 self-embedded objects in arms, neck, feet and hands, including an astonishing 35 placed by one boy (staples, parts of a comb, parts of a fork).

-- Jennifer Tesch's daughter, Kennedy, was kicked off her cheerleader squad (supporting a youth flag-football team) in Madison Heights, Mich., after complaining to her mother about the saucy language of one of the cheers in the girls' repertoire: "Our backs ache!/Our skirts are too tight!/We shake our booties!/From left to right!" Kennedy and Jennifer thought that was inappropriate, considering that Kennedy is 6 years old. The team, given the chance to renounce the cheer, voted in September to keep it and instead to punish Kennedy for taking the dispute public.

-- The older the religion, the seemingly more likely its practitioners are to adopt clever workarounds to theological obligations that modern society has rendered inconvenient. Orthodox Jews are among the most creative, as News of the Weird has demonstrated, reporting their imaginative treatments of divorce rituals and expanding the concept of the "home" in which practitioners must remain during the Sabbath. In September, in preparation for the Yom Kippur holy day, caffeine addicts -- traditionally hard-hit by the day's fasting requirement that prohibits ingesting anything "by mouth" -- reportedly made a run on drug stores in Jewish neighborhoods in Brooklyn, N.Y., to buy caffeine suppositories.

-- A Breakthrough in Political Campaign Technology: New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino, waging a particularly contentious battle, mailed out a flier in September suggesting that Democratic state politicians are corrupt, with photos of seven of that party's current and recent office-holders and accompanied by a special odor-triggering paper that releases a "garbage-scented" smell when exposed to air (and which supposedly grows even more foul over time).

-- Sherin Brown, 23, happened to be walking through a Brooklyn, N.Y., neighborhood in August at the exact moment that a tractor-trailer accidentally clipped a light pole, sending it crashing to the sidewalk. First responders found Brown pinned under the pole, screaming for help, and had her taken to a hospital. Afterward, investigators discovered a nearby surveillance camera, which revealed that Brown had stepped out of the way of the falling pole but then, with no one else around, had crawled underneath and began wailing in "pain," perhaps in anticipation of a future lawsuit.

-- Steven Black, one of five suspects in a federal credit card and check-cashing fraud ring, was arrested on Aug. 30 in Maryland Heights, Mo., following a car chase. In a search, police discovered that Black was carrying $1,540 in cash, in a roll tied with a shoelace to his scrotum.

-- Outsmarted Himself: Gene Cranick, who lives outside the city of South Fulton, Tenn., was offered firefighter service by the city for an annual $75 fee but declined to pay. In September, firefighters stood by watching as Cranick's home burned to the ground. (They had been called to the scene by Cranick's neighbor, who had paid the fee and feared Cranick's fire might spread to his property.)

-- Donald Denney and his father (also named Donald Denney) concocted a plan on the telephone for Dad to smuggle the son a ball of black-tar heroin into his Colorado prison (for eventual resale) during visiting hours, to be passed through the mouth by a deep kiss from a female visitor. However, Dad could not find a woman with a clean-enough record to be admitted as a visitor. Still enamored of the plan, however, the father decided to be the drug mule, himself, and inserted the packaged heroin into his rectum for later transferral to his mouth (even though the eventual deep kiss would be awkward). The Denneys were apparently unaware, despite audio warnings, that all the son's phone calls were being monitored, and in September, prison officials were waiting for the father, with a body-cavity search warrant, as he entered the prison.

-- Mean Streets: (1) A 23-year-old man on Chicago's South Side is still alive after he reported being shot twice on Sept. 17 by different people in different neighborhoods. He was shot above the armpit just after midnight, was treated and released at a hospital, and then was shot again in the leg about 10 hours later. (2) During a shootout in New York City on Aug. 8, Angel Alvarez, 23, was brought down in a hail of gunfire and taken to Harlem Hospital, where doctors saved his life, though they found 21 bullet wounds (Alvarez's lawyer said 23). Alvarez's sister called her brother's miraculous survival "ridiculous."

-- Hallmarks in Testing: (1) According to a July (1995) Associated Press story, Ellie Jenkins' job, as a counter for the Mosquito Control Commission in Savannah, Ga., is to drive around to 38 specified locations and stand with her arms and legs spread -- to see whether she'll be bitten five times in a minute (which is the threshold to summon county spraying trucks). And a June (1995) Toledo Blade story reported on the work of Mike Pixley, who tests La-Z-Boy chairs at the company plant in Monroe, Mich. Pixley rocks back and forth 2,800 times a day, earning $6 an hour. Supervisor Judy Fay praised Pixley as "self-motivated" and a man who "sets (his) own personal goals."

Thanks This Week to Phil Carhart, Dave Stout, Joe Church, and Ron Crumpton, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

Edible "dirt" has recently appeared on the menus of several of the world's most renowned restaurants (e.g., the top-rated Noma in Copenhagen, Shakuf in Tel Aviv, Gilt in New York City). "People are really wowed to see dirt on their plates," said Gilt's head chef. Actually, the "dirt" only looks and feels like dirt. Each chef creates signature tastes from dried or charred powders with the appearance and consistency of sand, soil or ash -- from a base of plants, vegetables or eggs, or even dried beer. Said a reviewer, "These chefs are reminding people where food actually comes from."

-- Until August, Nettleton Middle School near Tupelo, Miss., had a strict policy for election of class officers for 6th-, 7th- and 8th-graders: Only white students could be president, and only black students could be vice president. (Other officers were segregated by race, as well.) Officials explained that it was one way to assure black representation even though three-fourths of the students are white. A school memo was leaked to The Smoking Gun website in August, and a day later the school district rescinded the policy.

-- After two Mexican fishermen were dragged from their boats and "chewed so badly that their bodies could not be identified by their own families," according to a Daily Express review of an August British TV documentary, warnings were issued along the Pacific coast about the northern migration of Humboldt squid. They grow to 8 feet long, weigh up to 100 pounds, travel up to 15 mph, have eight swim/hold tentacles -- and two "attack" tentacles that are studded with 40,000 or more razor-sharp "teeth"-like nubs that help each devour almost seven tons of fish a year. Furthermore, female Humboldts are capable of laying 30 million eggs.

-- Briton Tania Doherty believed in 2008 that she was finally rid of ex-boyfriend Kawa ali Azad, who had stalked and assaulted her (once beating her unconscious) after she ended their affair in 2006. Azad had been arrested and ordered deported to his native Iraq, but when Iraq refused to take him, he applied to stay in Britain and, pending an immigration decision, was released by a judge sensitive to the "human rights" of someone seeking international "asylum." Azad immediately resumed harassing Doherty (who was chagrined to learn of the breadth of her violator's "human rights").

-- Notorious killer Jon Venables, convicted in 1993 at age 11 of the torture-murder of a 2-year-old Merseyside boy, was held until age 18 and then released on conditions and with a new identity to protect him from harassment. In July 2010, after violating the conditions, Venables was sentenced to two years in jail for possessing and exchanging "violent" child pornography. According to a Daily Telegraph report, the Ministry of Justice has accepted that it will have to supply Venables yet another new identity upon his eventual release (with set-up likely to cost the equivalent of almost $400,000 and security to run the equivalent of an additional $1.6 million a year).

-- Police in New Albany, Ind., arrested two alleged counterfeiters in August but believed that a much bigger operation was in play. Subsequently, the Indiana State Police made a public plea for informants, focusing on the people most likely to be cheated by counterfeit money: local drug dealers. "What we are asking today," said ISP Sgt. Jerry Goodin, "is we want all the drug dealers to call us. We want to get all of your information and exactly what happened in (any of your dealings)." Goodin added, "Trust us."

-- In June, Raytown, Mo., farmer David Jungerman mounted a sign on a tractor-trailer denouncing "parasites" who "always have their hand out for whatever the government will give them." Following news reports about the sign, the Kansas City Star reported that Jungerman himself had received more than $1 million in federal crop subsidies since 1995. (He later explained that a "parasite" pays no taxes at all yet seeks handouts. By contrast, Jungerman said, he pays taxes.)

-- The administrative staff for Queen Elizabeth II, running a budget shortfall in 2004 (according to recently released documents), asked the governing Labour Party if the royal family's palaces could qualify for government home-heating subsidies. The documents, obtained by London's The Independent, indicated that the Labour Party was initially receptive but then rejected the idea.

-- Playboy magazine has long published an audio edition, and the Library of Congress produces a text edition in Braille. However, as a Houston Chronicle reporter learned in August, a Texas organization (Taping for the Blind) goes one step further, with volunteer reader Suzi Hanks actually describing the photographs -- even the Playmates and other nudes. "I'd say if she has large breasts or small breasts, piercings or tattoos," said Hanks. "I'll describe her genitalia. ... I take my time describing the girls. ... Hey, blind guys like pretty, naked girls, too!"

America's most prolific litigant (and News of the Weird mainstay) may finally have met his match. In September, federal prosecutors asked a judge in Kentucky to supervise Jonathan Lee Riches' future filings to eliminate the frivolous ones (which likely means all of them). Riches is serving 10 years in prison for stealing credit card numbers and has filed an estimated 3,800 lawsuits from behind bars (more than one for every day of incarceration), alleging wrongs done to him by such people as George W. Bush, Britney Spears, the philosopher Plato, the Dave Matthews Band, Tiger Woods (luggage theft), baseball player Barry Bonds (illegal moonshine), and football player Michael Vick (who allegedly stole Riches' pit bulls, sold them on eBay, and used the proceeds to buy missiles from Iran).

Mark Smith, 59, was arrested at a bank in Watsonville, Calif., in September after he had allegedly threatened a teller with a bomb (spelled "bom") and demanded $2,000. The teller, apparently skeptical of Smith's toughness, tried to convince him, instead, to borrow the money, and she had him wait while she retrieved an application (during which time she called 911). By the time police arrived, Smith was filling out the loan form.

Arrested recently and awaiting trial for murder: Larry Wayne Call, Faith, N.C. (September); Kenneth Wayne Carlson, Hines Creek, Alberta, Canada (August); Timothy Wayne Morgan, Eugene, Ore. (August); Julius Wayne Willis Jr., Minneapolis (July); Scott Wayne Eby, Wilmington, Ill. (May, charged in a 2004 murder); Douglas Wayne Jones, Oxford, Miss. (May); Kenneth Wayne Rogers, Dallas (April, charged in a 2008 murder). Indicted for murder recently and awaiting trial: Gary Wayne Pettigrew, Tarrant County, Texas (August, indicted in a 1983 murder). Pleaded guilty to murder: Edward Wayne Edwards, Akron, Ohio (August, involving a 1977 murder, not the ones News of the Weird listed him for in August 2009). Convicted of murder: David Wayne Alexander, Pittsburgh (July 2009).

Innumeracy: In July 2004, a federal appeals court ruled that the leak-safety standards for the long-awaited nuclear waste repository at Nevada's Yucca Mountain were too weak, in that the Environmental Protection Agency could regard the facility as safe for "only" the next 10,000 years (100 centuries). One National Academy of Sciences panel had recommended against the site unless leak safety could be certified for at least 300,000 years. In August 2005, EPA issued a revised durability standard, claiming, somehow, that the site would be free of unsafe leaks for 1 million years. (Perspective: Everything we know about radiation has come in just the last 110 years. Now, imagine a radiation-safety "learning curve" expected to go flat for the next 10,000 -- or 300,000 -- or 1 million years.)

Ingrid Paulicivic filed a lawsuit in September against Laguna Beach, Calif., gynecologist Red Alinsod over leg burns she bafflingly acquired during her 2009 hysterectomy -- a procedure that was topped off by the doctor's nearly gratuitous name-"branding" of her uterus with his electrocautery tool. Dr. Alinsod explained that he carved "Ingrid" in inch-high letters on the organ only after he had removed it and that such labeling helps in the event a woman requests the return of the uterus as a souvenir. He called the branding just a "friendly gesture" and said he did not know how the burns on Paulicivic's leg occurred.

-- BBC News reported in August that government officials in southern Sudan had unveiled a $10 billion plan that would rebuild the area's major cities (heavily damaged during the ongoing civil war) "in the shapes of animals and fruit." New blueprints for one state capital, Juba, show its boundaries in the shape of a rhinoceros, and for another capital, Wau, a giraffe, and for the town of Yambio, the outline of a pineapple. (Such municipal planning might appear quixotic, especially in view of Sudan's wartime chaos, but investors can hardly ignore a country that sits on rich oil deposits.)

-- Spousal violence continues to plague India, especially in lower-income areas of Uttar Pradesh state, but four years ago, Ms. Sampat Pal Devi, then 36, formed a vigilante group of females to fight back and has made notable progress, according to a July report on Slate.com. Members of Pal's group ("gulabis" -- literally, "gangs for justice") travel in numbers, wearing "hot pink" saris and carrying bamboo sticks, and try to reason with abusive husbands to improve their behavior. Originally, Pal imagined a temporary team, in place until women acquired greater electoral power, but the experience in Uttar Pradesh has been disheartening in that, often, the women elected as officials have been just as corruptible and male-centered as the men they replaced.

-- U.S. and NATO forces in southern Afghanistan have reported feelings of revulsion at the number and ostentatiousness of local Pashtun men who publicly flaunt the 9- to 15-year-old boys that they've acquired as lovers. The boys dress (and use makeup) like girls, dance, hold the men's hands, and show off in front of others of their age. According to an August San Francisco Chronicle dispatch from Kandahar, locals explain the practice as partly regional tradition and partly a response to Islamic and tribal customs that make young females off-limits to men until marriage (Local saying: "Women are for children; boys are for pleasure"). (The more fundamentalist Pashtun also point out that boys are "cleaner," in that they never menstruate.)

-- A 1997 election law in Brazil makes it illegal to "degrade or ridicule" political candidates or their parties, making that country's election season not nearly as lively as the U.S.'s. However, in August, one week after a protest in Rio de Janeiro by Brazilian comedians, the vice president of the Supreme Court acquiesced and suspended the law as unconstitutional.

-- Marketing Professionals Not Ready for Prime Time: Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa, feeling under-respected academically, commissioned an in-state firm to create a direct-mail campaign highlighting the many benefits of a Drake education. The pitch to potential students, which was rolled out in September in brochures and on Drake's website, is called the "Drake Advantage" and is graphically represented (curiously, for an academic institution) as "D+."

-- Creative Sentencing: (1) Convicted Pennsylvania embezzler Lanette Sansoni pleaded guilty in August and agreed to reimburse the victim the remaining $200,000 of the $475,000 she had stolen. Judge Joseph Smyth then sentenced Sansoni to house arrest -- for 21 years. She can remain out of jail as long as she works and contributes at least $750 a month for restitution. (2) Samuel McMaster Jr. pleaded guilty to securities fraud in August in Albuquerque but struck a deal with prosecutors to enable restitution to his two dozen victims. McMaster fancies himself an expert at poker, and the judge agreed to withhold sentencing for six months to let McMaster prove he could earn at least $7,500 a month for his victims at Las Vegas poker tables.

-- In September, the Treviso, Italy, adult doll maker Diego Bortolin (who specializes in lifelike, precisely detailed, fully flexible, anatomically correct models of humans) told reporters that he had completed a special order for a 50-year-old businessman whom he would not name but who paid Bortolin the equivalent of $18,000 (compared to his normal price of about $5,000) to go beyond his generic "young woman" -- to create a replica of the very girlfriend who had just recently dumped him. The extra expenses were "because we had to replicate everything, right down to the shape of her nails and teeth" -- plus, the man wanted his substitute girlfriend to have bigger breasts.

-- Sixteen condom dispensers were installed at the San Francisco County jail in San Bruno, Calif., in September, paid for by community grants, to assist in the county's safe-sex program. (Of course, jailhouse sex remains illegal.)

The Overprivileged, in Training: The first day of school, according to Mia Lin, 16, of Framingham, Mass., "is like a movie premiere." That's when she and some of her well-off friends get the opportunity to give fellow students the benefit of their informed summer fashion decisions as they jockey for position in the school's social order. Lin told the Boston Globe that her "style" is "urban" and shoe-oriented. "I have about 90 pairs. I wear whole outfits just to accent my shoes," including black, red and gold Supra Chad Muska Skytops, which give her, she said, "a swagger boost." "Every year is an opportunity to redefine your style."

Jonne Wegley joined the Army in 2009, but during basic training was distracted by troubles at home (a brother severely injured; his girlfriend aborting their child and two-timing him) and wanted out. Like others facing Army assignments (some chronicled in News of the Weird), his escape of choice was to ask a pal to shoot him in the leg, rendering him unfit for duty (but, he hoped, not too badly hurt). The reluctant pal fired one shot, which resulted in the "mangl(ing)" of Wegley's leg and which has so far required 25 surgeries. (Sources cited by the Ledger-Enquirer of Columbus, Ga., near Wegley's post at Fort Benning, said there are easier legal ways to leave the Army.)

DNA Showcases: (1) Michael Edwards Jr., 28, was arrested in July after an incident at a Giant food store in Gaithersburg, Md., in which he followed a customer to her car and sprayed her from a bottle whose liquid was part semen. (2) Michael Lallana, 31, was arrested in Santa Ana, Calif., in August and charged on two separate instances of "discharging" his semen into a female co-worker's water bottle. (3) William Black, 28, was arrested at a Sarasota, Fla., Wal-Mart in September after he grabbed a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue off the magazine rack, retreated to another aisle, and masturbated, leaving semen on the floor. (Black said he had been overcome looking at all the "hot girls" among Wal-Mart shoppers.)

At a special Friday evening session of the New Mexico House of Representatives in February (2004) (on health insurance taxation), Democratic leaders needed Rep. Bengie Regensberg to cast an emergency vote and sent state police to retrieve him at the Santa Fe motel where he was headquartered during the session. Troopers managed to bring him to the capitol, but reported having had to subdue and handcuff the naked, combative and "likely intoxicated" Regensberg.