The Other "Fight Clubs" Are for Sissies: At the August Dog Brothers "Gathering of the Pack" in Southern California, it was "(A)nything goes," according to one warrior (looking to fight with "blunted knives"). A Reuters reporter witnessed two men without padding beat each other with heavy sticks and two others fight with electrically charged knives. The latter duel ended when, during a wrestling hold, one slipped a hand free and planted a 1,000-volt surge. The action seems exhilarating. Said one, "I've never felt better than when I'm doing this." Another: "Honestly, I wish I could find a church with the same spirit of support and love (as I feel here)." Said "Crafty Dog" Denny, it's "higher consciousness through harder contact."

-- Florida's nation-leading epidemic of mortgage fraud was facilitated by state regulators who permitted 2,200 people with finance-crime records to become professional "loan originators," part of the total of 10,000 with rap sheets allowed to work in the industry over an eight-year period, according to a July investigation by The Miami Herald. At least 20 registered brokers kept their licenses after fraud convictions. A 2006 state law required criminal background checks for broker licensing, but fewer than half were ever done, reported the Herald. And the crisis continues, according to a Virginia research firm, which found in August that almost one-fourth of new mortgage fraud in the U.S. emanates from Florida (mostly on scams exploiting people who face foreclosure).

-- A cautionary note about "early voting" was registered in the Dallas suburb of Carrollton, Texas, in May, when Mayor Becky Miller built a nine-point lead in early balloting before a Dallas Morning News report on fanciful parts of her biography caused election-day voters to cast her out. In her campaign, she had emotionally referred to a brother killed in the Vietnam War, but her father said her only brother is still alive and was never in the military (which Miller "explained" by alleging that dad has Alzheimer's). She later gave a name for her brother, but the Morning News found that that soldier, unlike Miller, is black. Miller also claimed to be a backup singer for Linda Ronstadt and Jackson Browne (and once engaged to the Eagles' Don Henley), but spokesmen for each said they never heard of her (which she "explained" by saying she was earlier known as "Pinky").

-- An Insurance Institute for Highway Safety spokesman said in July that "billions" of dollars are unnecessarily spent annually because the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration still fails to regard SUVs and light trucks as "passenger" vehicles. One result, according to an MSNBC report, is that otherwise-benign bumper-to-bumper nudges (harmless because passenger-car bumpers are required to be of standard height) turn into major repair jobs when higher-bumpered SUVs crush the headlight assemblies of lower-bumpered passenger cars.

-- Two Cheers for Democracy: (1) Angela Tuttle was elected constable in Hancock County, Tenn., in August, simply because she showed up and voted. There were no candidates on the ballot, and thus her own write-in vote for herself carried the election, 1-0. (2) After Prime Minister Manmohan Singh's party retained control in India in the July elections, supporter (and Assam state legislator) Kishor Samrite decided to give traditional Hindu thanks for the victory. He sacrificed 200 goats and four buffaloes at a temple in Gauhati.

-- Paul Baldwin, 48, was ordered held on $10,000 bail in Portsmouth, N.H., in May after his arrest for stealing a can of beer, which seems expensive except that it was Baldwin's 152nd arrest. When a judge asked if he wanted a lawyer appointed for him, Baldwin said, "I don't need a lawyer. I've been in this court more than you have."

-- Crimes From All Over: (1) A gentle armed robber was being sought in July in Poplar Bluff, Mo.; he took $25 from a man at gunpoint, but then hugged him before he left. (2) Arrested in Tampa in the span of 23 hours on July 1 and July 2: Mr. Telly Savalas Cheatam (grand theft auto) and Mr. Telly Savalas Wimbley (trespassing).

-- (1) In July, St. Mary's Airport on the Isles of Scilly (off the southwest coast of England) posted a vacancy announcement for air traffic controller that added, helpfully, that applications were available in alternative languages, "in larger text (or) Braille." (2) Police were called to a home in Wichita, Kan., in June after two young men had been arguing over which was more deserving of the street name C-Thug. The fight ended when a woman old enough to be their mother came along and stabbed one of the "thugs."

-- Illinois requires all state employees to pass an annual 10-question, multiple-choice "ethics" test (whose format lends itself to simplistic answers that, for instance, most college students might handle easily). In January, state ethics officials declined to accept the passing grades of 65 Southern Illinois University professors because they finished "too quickly." Asserted a reviewing state official, anyone who failed to spend at least 10 minutes on the test was being unreasonable.

Charlie Van Wilkes Jr., 31, was arrested in Danielsville, Ga., in August and charged with possession of drugs and burglary tools. The arrest report noted that Wilkes had a "large lump in the front of his blue jeans, with wires running from inside his pants and hanging down dragging the ground" as he walked. Wilkes explained that he was wearing a "homemade vibrator," hooked to a battery. Wrote the officer, "(A) small motor had been removed from an item and placed inside a pill bottle, and then wrapped in a piece of pipe insulation before being placed inside (Wilkes') pants for a pleasurable sensation."

Oblivious: (1) In August in Billings, Mont., federal officers recognized Wyoming fugitive Sterling Wolfname, 26, on the street, but the man tried to give a different name, seemingly oblivious that "Wolfname" was tattooed on the side of his head. (2) Fugitive Willie Vickers, 46, was arrested in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, in July on old burglary warrants after he volunteered to help a woman and a police officer get into her locked car. Vickers said he had lots of experience with locked cars, seemingly oblivious of tipping the officer to run his name through the computer.

The economic slowdown and rising prices for scrap metals have provoked desperation and creativity among down-market criminals. A 42-year-old man was arrested in his car heading for a metals-recycling center in Miami in July with a 40-foot-long municipal street lamp strapped to the roof. And police in Williamsburg, Ky., easily tracked the stolen railroad rail in August, which was so heavy that it left gouge marks in the pavement as the thieves dragged it away. And the badly burned man found in July by police on a utility pole in northwest Dallas died days later (one of several who so far this year have tried, unsuccessfully, to safely remove copper wire from power poles).

Arrested in Tampa in June and charged with possession of cocaine with intent to sell: Mr. God Lucky Howard, 39. Convicted in Kansas City, Mo., in June of 31 counts including 12 rapes and other non-consensual sex: Mr. Shy Bland, 52. Arrested in Broomfield, Colo., in August in a raid on a "massage parlor" that police said was a brothel: Ms. Mi Sook You, 48.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

"What was once a gentleman's hobby among a few dozen enthusiasts at the turn of the 20th century," wrote The New York Times in July, "has evolved into a multimillion-dollar industry," namely, collecting strands of hair of famous people. Mastro Auctions of Chicago sells $100,000 worth of hair a year, and in October, a tuft of Che Guevara's went for $119,500 (and John Lennon's recently for $48,000). Westport, Conn., Americana dealer John Reznikoff (who owns strands of Lincoln, Washington, Napoleon and Beethoven) appraised Britney Spears' locks (after her 2007 head-shaving) at "only" $3,500. Reznikoff told the Times that, while he advertises his trade in books and autographs, the hair is low-key: "I'm concerned clients might not take me seriously if they see me selling a lock of Charles Dickens' hair."

-- As Denton, Texas, Pizza Patron employee Stephanie Martinez complied with a disguised robber's demand for money at closing in July, a co-worker jumped the man, knocked him down, and began beating on him. As the robber's sunglasses and wig fell off, Martinez recognized him: "Don't hit him again! That's my dad!" Police later charged Stephanie's father, mother and husband with the attempted robbery, concluding that Stephanie had been kept completely in the dark about the heist.

-- Made for "Law and Order": David Steffen was convicted in Cincinnati in 1983 of murdering a 19-year-old woman and sentenced to death because the jury found that he also raped her, a violation that was an added devastation to her parents. Steffen confessed to the killing but vehemently protested for almost a quarter century that he did not rape her, and, finally, a 2007 DNA test of semen backed him up, disturbing the family even more (and calling Steffen's death sentence into question). In July 2008, the prosecutor learned that the DNA belonged to 55-year-old Kenneth Douglas, who is not a suspect in the murder but who was a morgue assistant in 1982 when the woman's body arrived and, said the prosecutor, had sex with it. Though the statute of limitations likely prevents prosecuting Douglas, the woman's parents seemed somewhat comforted that, after all, their daughter was a virgin.

-- Among the losers in the recent housing crash was The Shire in Bend, Ore., which was to be a village of 31 homes in the style of those in the "Lord of the Rings" series, with (according to a report in the Bend Bulletin) "unique stonework, artificial thatched roofs, terraces, gardens, and a network of streams and ponds with a pathway to ... 'The Ring Bearer's Court.'" One of the only two houses completed has a "hobbit hole" for storing garden supplies. Developer Ron Meyers said he hopes the new owner will respect the concept.

-- Nevada Political Babylon: Greg Nance, 49, resigned from the state Board of Education in August after complaints about his ignoring a policy discussion at a public meeting by cooing with his new, 20-year-old wife of 12 days. (When a colleague complained that the woman should not have been seated with Nance at the board table, Nance replied, "Bite me.") Nance's replacement will be named by Gov. Jim Gibbons, whose approval rating hovers in the 20 percent range, in part because of rumors of womanizing. Gibbons filed for divorce in May, but his wife of 22 years has refused to leave the governor's mansion, and, instead, Gibbons has moved out.

-- Former British glamour model Jayne Bennington, 31, says she spends the equivalent of $600 a month on treatments and frills to make her daughter Sasha, 11, into the beauty queen she almost was herself, according to a July profile in London's Daily Mail. However, Mom has done such a good job that Sasha can't get work because she no longer looks like a child. Asked her self-assessment by a BBC documentary crew, Sasha responded, "Blond, pretty, dumb (but) I don't need brains." (At that, Mom roared with laughter.)

-- Blood Is Thicker: In Bihar state, India, a man was charged with having his father killed a day before retirement so that the son might "inherit" his government job via the traditional family-hardship policy. (If Dad had retired, the regular hiring process would have been used to find a replacement.)

Kenneth Moore, 49, admitted that he was the one who shot his friend Darrel Benner to death in 1995 during a beer-drinking binge, in front of two witnesses, in Piketon, Ohio, but an appeals court later ruled that he was entitled to a new trial because prosecutors had withheld evidence. At a new trial, with memories failing, Moore was found not guilty. State law thus calls Moore's nine-plus years served "wrongful imprisonment," entitling him to compensation, and in July the Ohio Court of Claims approved a payment of more than $500,000 (plus legal fees) for Moore's having pulled the trigger that night.

-- (1) Landlord Richard Ott, 30, was arrested in Newark, Del., in August after he finally snapped in anger at his tenants, who were behind in their rent. According to police, Ott hopped into his Hummer in the middle of the night and crashed into the "tenants'" front door. (2) In July, a guest at the Delta Beausejour hotel in Moncton, New Brunswick, had a morning court date that he had been stalling on for a while and as the clock ticked down, he decided to beg off once again and asked the hotel's concierge to go deal with the judge. (The judge told the concierge to inform his "client" that he had just been found guilty on all counts.)

-- Chutzpah! Philadelphia Traffic Court Judge Willie Singletary has been facing charges since April from the state Judicial Conduct Board based on a 2007 political appearance. At a meeting of motorcyclists, Singletary was captured on video begging for campaign donations by asking, "You're all going to need me in Traffic Court, am I right about that?"

Spectacular Failures of Prison Rehab: (1) Michael Ogle, 29, was arrested for allegedly robbing the BBT Bank in Seymour, Tenn., in August, right after his release from jail for robbing the same bank last November. (2) Timothy Wallace, 38, was arrested after allegedly robbing the Superior Bank in Elkmont, Ala., in July, after his release from prison, where he had served a 12-year sentence for robbing the same bank in 1995.

Insurance companies, especially in Europe, seem game for underwriting almost any odd risk anyone is willing to pay for, and thus News of the Weird has reported on people insured against alien invasion, the Loch Ness monster, and, for three Scottish nuns, the expense of Jesus Christ's second coming if he were born to any of them. The bedding company SilentNight in Lancashire, England, recently insured mattress-tester Graham Butterfield's buttocks for the equivalent of about $2 million, finding that particular part of his body to be so sensitive to tiny variations in fillings that he knows, quickly and certainly, if the proper materials have been used.

In three instances reported in August, American kids were found living in such filthy squalor and isolation that authorities feared they were nearly as developmentally stunted as feral children raised in the wilderness. A 36-year-old man in Lavonia, Ga., was arrested for having imprisoned his wife and three never-schooled children inside their small trailer home for at least the last three years. And in Burke County, Ga., a woman and 11 never-schooled children were found in a filthy trailer home without electricity or running water. And in Polk County, Mo., six children were found among three families living in a clump of 12 isolated, junk-packed trailer homes with 360 animals and the only water coming from a series of connected garden hoses.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

Great Moments in Capital Punishment: Prosecutors in Portland, Ore., took the death penalty off the table for Tremayne Durham in July, accepting a minimum-30-year prison term for an "aggravated murder" over a business deal. Durham agreed to plead guilty when prosecutors relented to his additional demand of two pig-out meals (featuring KFC, Popeye's and Haagen Dazs right away, and pizza and lasagna on the day the judge accepts the plea). Prosecutors said they hated appearing to cater to the whims of a murderer, but eyeing the expense of a long trial and lengthy appeals, as well as the turmoil for the victim's family, they agreed. In August, the judge accepted the deal.

-- Though it has been on national cable TV since mid-July, ratings have not been spectacular for the G4 channel's show, "Hurl!" leaving many Americans unaware of precisely how far standards of taste have fallen. "Hurl!" contestants are forced to gorge themselves, then are purposely, rapidly, twirled and shaken on carnival-type rides, with the last player to retain his stomach contents declared the winner. Wrote a Washington Post reviewer, it's "for people who found 'Fear Factor' much too nuanced."

-- Least Competent Multitaskers: A Dallas entrepreneur recently created a programmable device for those busy, busy parents who actually need to be reminded that they brought their tots with them in the car (lest their child become one of the several hot-car deaths a year in America). Provided that they're not too busy to set the system up, an alarm alerts them if they exit the car without the baby. Said one Texas woman interviewed by NBC News, "As a mom, you can get really distracted."

-- A rule for federal lawsuits (Rule 8a) requires the initial pleading that commences the case to be "short and plain," and another (9b) requires it to be to the point, with several pages usually plenty to give the other party notice of what he's being sued for. In June, federal judge Ronald Leighton summarily tossed out the initial pleading of Washington state attorney Dean Browning Webb, whose client is suing GMAC Mortgage, because Webb had submitted 465 pages, with meticulous detail, including 37 pages quoting e-mails, and 341 pages asserting claims that freely repeated each other on points they had in common.

-- Believers: (1) Rocky Twyman of Washington, D.C., started Pray at the Pump, a brief, scattered national campaign in June to urge prayer to bring down gas prices. A colleague in St. Louis claimed his prayer sessions caused the price drop in July, pointing to his use of the civil rights anthem "We Shall Overcome" (and his new verse, "We'll have lower gas prices"). (2) In July, Salinas, Calif., Mayor Dennis Donohue, frustrated at this year's dramatic surge in gang violence, kicked off a campaign to urge a citywide fast, which he said was a proven technique in achieving social justice.

-- In a July ceremony, Minneapolis Police Chief Tim Dolan honored SWAT officers for their bravery and professionalism during a December middle-of-the-night raid of a house that supposedly contained a gang's guns. However, it was the wrong house, and the bewildered, frightened resident started shooting back. Said Dolan, "The easy decision would have been to retreat (but the) team did not take the easy way out." The house got riddled with bullets, but no one was hit, and the chief later apologized but still felt that it was "a perfect example of a situation that could have gone horribly wrong, but did not because of the (team's) professionalism."

-- Unrealistic Expectations: (1) Victor Rodriguez, 21, about to be arrested on a domestic assault charge in Bridgeport, Conn., in June, turned to his 9-foot-long pet python and, as police approached, shouted to the snake, "Get them!" (It remained motionless.) (2) In July, Josef Fritzl, the man who imprisoned his daughter and her children for 24 years in a dungeon in their home in Amstetten, Austria, told his own jail's officials that he needs daily exercise outside because he hates being cooped up in his cell.

While most major opera houses provide sign-language interpreters at the side of the stage, producer Marita Barber recently staged the opera "The Hunt of King Charles" in a version in which all performers sign as they sing, with only a two-piece orchestra in the background, for patrons with hearing. At Barber's venue, the Theatre Totti on a Finnish island, actual baritones and sopranos were sought for their respective roles, even though they would all sign their lyrics, because, said Barber, "(W)e need facial expressions and gestures to get the feeling and the atmosphere across" to the deaf audience, for example, when lyrics call for elongating a word to fit the music.

(1) Lamont Cooke was arrested by a SWAT team in Vernon, Conn., in July after spending the last year on the run from Philadelphia and Maryland authorities, who wanted him for charges of kidnapping and murder. According to the arresting U.S. marshal, Cooke surrendered quietly, except that he wet his pants. (2) A police task force in Orem, Utah, arrested a 21-year-old gang member in June, catching him riding a tricycle that he had just stolen from a little girl.

Montreal, Quebec, psychiatrists Joel and Ian Gold believe they have identified five patients between them who are deluded to the point where they are certain they are starring in reality TV shows or movies about their lives. In the well-established Capgras delusion, a patient believes that his immediate family has been replaced by look-alike actors, but the Golds' five patients believe that their every movement is being broadcast around the world (and have named the disorder the "Truman Show delusion" after the 1998 movie starring Jim Carrey), according to a July National Post story.

Latest Negative-Cash-Flow Robbery: The man (dressed as a woman) got away after the attempt at Joe's Cafe‚ in Metairie, La., in July, but he lost money in the deal. As a ruse to get a clerk to open the cash register, he handed over a $5 bill to pay for two doughnuts, and, with the register then open for change, pulled a gun and demanded the contents. The clerk immediately became hysterical, screaming, and the robber, frightened, fled the restaurant without his $5 or his doughnuts.

Stripper Susan Sykes, 47, known as "Busty Heart," was rejected in July as a contestant for the NBC show "America's Got Talent," as the judges were unappreciative of her ability to crush empty beer cans with her enormous breasts. As News of the Weird reported, Sykes was sued in 1997 by an Illinois strip-club patron who claimed a serious neck injury after Sykes, in a little audience-participation, playfully trapped his head between her breasts while she danced. Eventually, the lawsuit was dropped.

Revenge of the Critters: A 44-year-old woman accidentally shot herself in the knee while pursuing a mouse inside her travel trailer (Potter Valley, Calif., July). And a 27-year-old man accidentally shot himself in the head while chasing a skunk (Elwood, Utah, May). And a 45-year-old woman accidentally shot herself in the foot while stalking a woodchuck in her garden (Ferryville, Wis., June). And a 57-year-old man accidentally shot himself in the hand while aiming at bees (Williamsburg, Pa., April). And a retired police officer accidentally shot himself in the chest while aiming at a snapping turtle behind his house (Bensalem, Pa., August).

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)