News of the Weird by the Editors at Andrews McMeel Syndication

LEAD STORY -- Unclear on the Concept

Jennifer Colyne Hall, 48, of Toney, Alabama, was distraught when she called the Limestone County Sheriff's Office dispatch on Oct. 2, so officers were sent to call on her. Public information officer Steven Young told The News Courier the officers first approached Hall's landlord, who told them she had been "acting strangely" and hinted she might be on drugs. When the officers spoke to Hall, she produced a clear bag from a baby wipes container and told them, "I want this dope tested" because she feared the methamphetamines in the bag had possibly been tainted with another drug. Asked if she had consumed the drugs, Hall said she had, but couldn't remember when. She was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance and was held at the Limestone County Jail. [News Courier, 10/3/2019]

Inexplicable

-- A front-door camera in McDowell County, North Carolina, twice captured a bold loiterer on the home's porch: a naked man. Sheriff's officers arrested Denny Lynn Dover, 45, in early October after identifying him by his distinctive tattoos, The McDowell News reported. Dover had visited the home in April and again on Oct. 3, when he attempted to break in. He was charged with first-degree burglary and held on $50,000 bond. Dover isn't new to a life of crime: He also has convictions for arson, drug possession, larceny, peeping and breaking in. [McDowell News, 10/7/2019]

-- The Louisville Courier Journal reported that Knox County (Kentucky) Sheriff's deputies arrested Barrett L. Sizemore, 48, of Heidrick, on Oct. 4 for theft of a "honey wagon" -- a septic cleaning truck -- in Barbourville. The truck went missing on Oct. 2, and authorities located it in a barn in Laurel County, not far from where Sizemore was arrested. He is being held on a $10,000 bond. [Louisville Courier Journal, 10/5/2019]

Unintended Consequences

-- An unidentified 89-year-old woman who has had previous trouble with trespassers on her remote property outside Piru, California, was hospitalized on Oct. 5 after her attempt to shoo away a group of nine people went wrong. After spotting the interlopers, she warned them away and fired two rounds from her rifle into a hillside to "emphasize her point," Ventura County Sheriff's Office Capt. Eric Buschow told the Los Angeles Times. As the group retreated, the woman pursued them in her pickup truck to be sure they were leaving and pointed her gun at them. One man tried to talk with her, but she couldn't hear him, so he opened the door of her truck and grabbed the gun barrel. "In the process," Buschow said, "she fell out of the truck (and) unbeknownst to (the man), the truck was still in gear, so the rear wheel drove over her leg, continued to roll and went off a cliff." She was airlifted to a hospital with injuries to her ankle, and neither party wanted to press charges, so no arrests were made. [Los Angeles Times, 10/7/2019]

-- An unidentified man in Phoenix became angry at his upstairs neighbors for making too much noise on Oct. 6. He first tried banging on their door around 11:20 p.m., but then returned to his apartment and fired several shots into his ceiling -- one of which apparently ricocheted and hit him in the face, according to the Arizona Republic. Although no one else was injured, the shooter was taken to the hospital in extremely critical condition. [Arizona Republic, 10/7/2019]

Overreactions

An apparent dispute over pigeons at Pershing Field in Jersey City, New Jersey, has resulted in Charles Lowy, 69, facing eight years in prison for reckless manslaughter, according to The Jersey Journal. In April 2018, Lowy stabbed former schoolteacher Anthony Bello, 77, to death after they argued about Lowy's habit of feeding pigeons in the park. Lowy's attorney called Bello the "mayor of the block" and said he was the aggressor in the altercation, and that Lowy had stabbed him in self-defense. Hudson County Superior Court Judge Sheila Venable sentenced Lowy on Oct. 4; he must serve at least 85 percent of his sentence. [The Jersey Journal, 10/7/2019]

Oops!

-- Tina Springer, 44, was the passenger in a car driven by Brent Parks, 79, as they stopped to let a train pass in Enid, Oklahoma, on Oct. 3. Parks' yellow Labrador retriever chose that moment to jump from the back seat onto the center console, causing a .22 caliber handgun stored underneath to discharge and strike Springer in the left thigh. The Enid News & Eagle reported that Parks, whom Springer is a caretaker for, told police he doesn't usually carry the weapon loaded. Springer was taken to a hospital for treatment. [Enid News & Eagle, 10/3/2019]

-- Homeowner Linda Taylor-Whitt of Lynwood, Illinois, and her family returned home from a birthday dinner on Oct. 5 to find "a wheel coming through my washroom ceiling" in an upstairs bathroom. Taylor-Whitt, who lives about a mile from Lansing Municipal Airport, told the Chicago Tribune she "didn't know what kind of wheel it was at first. I guessed it was an airplane wheel," she said. But it was from a helicopter, according to Amy Summers of SummerSkyz Inc., a helicopter flight school in Lansing. When Summers heard about the incident, she knew she'd found the ground-handling wheel she'd been missing, and called Taylor-Whitt to apologize. The wheel had apparently been left on one of the company's helicopters during flight and fell off. Taylor-Whitt was relieved the damage wasn't worse: "I am glad -- thank you, Lord -- that it was a wheel instead of a plane because it could've been so bad." [Chicago Tribune, 10/8/2019]

Bright Idea

Springfield, Missouri, authorities have come up with a clever campaign to curb pet waste in the downtown area, the Associated Press reported. Piles of dog poop are being tagged with recycled paper flags sporting messages such as: "Is this your turd? 'Cuz that's absurd," and "This is a nudge to pick up the fudge." The city noted it spends $7,500 a year to pick up 25 pounds of waste per week from downtown parks and parking lots. [Associated Press, 10/10/2019]

Awesome!

Open your wallet: If you have enough scratch, you can buy a customized pair of Nike Air Max 97s dubbed "Jesus Shoes" from a Brooklyn, New York, company called MSCHF. Introduced online Oct. 8, the shoes have 60ccs of holy water from the Jordan River injected into the soles "so you can literally walk on water," noted Cosmopolitan, a crucifix in the laces, red insoles harkening to Vatican traditions, and a Matthew 14:25 inscription. They are also scented with frankincense and sport a godly white and light blue colorway. The Jesus Shoes originally sold for $1,425, but are now fetching anywhere from $2,000 to upwards of $11,000. [Cosmopolitan, 10/9/2019]

Least Competent Driver

In downtown Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, on Oct. 8, an unnamed elderly driver managed to flip her Honda Accord and injure herself, her passenger and several pedestrians while trying to ... parallel park. According to CTV News, as she tried to back into a parking spot, the driver accelerated, jumping the curb and slamming into an immigration office before coming to rest on the sidewalk. Vancouver Police Sgt. Aaron Roed called the incident "a strange accident" and wished all the injured "a speedy recovery." [CTV News, 10/8/2019]

Chutzpah!

Sure, there are probably plenty of stolen goods for sale on Facebook Marketplace, but according to authorities in Oklahoma City, Vicki Treaster, 36, went big: She's been charged with stealing a metal garage and posting it for sale for $1,500. Coincidentally, the original owner was browsing Marketplace when he saw Treaster's ad, which included photos of two people taking his building apart, and notified police. KOCO reported Treaster changed her story several times when questioned by police about how she came to own the building, according to court documents. Treaster was charged in early October with grand larceny. [KOCO, 10/8/2019]

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