DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a creepy guy who follows me on social media. I have known him since before there even was this way of communicating, but I haven’t spoken to him in years. Then out of nowhere he started commenting on my posts. After that, he began to send me long, mostly nonsensical emails. I’m not quite sure what to do. He writes to me as if my postings on social media were written directly to him. He expects me to answer him and is very insistent. But I swear I haven’t talked to him in years, and we were never close anyway. How can I get him to back off? -- Stalker

DEAR STALKER: Putting yourself out there in the public has its risks, including being vulnerable to the overtures of strangers or people you do not know well. The good news is you can control it -- a bit, anyway. You can block this person from accessing you. That will stop you from receiving his overtures. If he attempts to reach out to you in person, contact the police.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter wore braces for nearly two years, and it cost me a pretty penny. She was supposed to wear her retainer every night afterward, which she assured me she would do. We are now at two years later, and she says her retainer doesn’t fit anymore -- presumably because some molars have come in. When we went to the orthodontist, I was assured that the reason the retainer doesn’t fit is because my daughter stopped wearing it and her teeth shifted. I am so mad. To have another retainer made will cost $1,000. I think my daughter should be penalized for this irresponsible behavior. Am I overreacting? -- Ill Fit

DEAR ILL FIT: We all need to discover that there are consequences to our actions. Your daughter made an expensive mistake. To penalize her might help to reinforce the importance of following up on agreements that you make. As much as I would like to say that you should forgo the retainer, I do know that if your daughter doesn’t get a new one, the chances are great that her teeth will begin to shift back to their original state, and all of your investment will be for naught.

What kind of punishment might work? Figure out something your daughter can do around the house or for others that would be worth $1,000 over time. It could be a community service project. It could be additional weekly chores at a particular rate that she works off over time. Whatever you choose should be measurable so that it's clear when she has completed her tasks. Of course, one part of this should be actually wearing the retainer every night, or she loses some of the money she’s accrued.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been enjoying a bit of socializing this summer -- at a distance -- with people in my beach community. We have had two couples over for dinner, and we all made sure that we were never too close to each other, especially when we were eating, since we had our masks off.

The other day, my friend said she wanted to host an event that is slightly larger to end the summer. Since it would be right after Labor Day, she thought it would be all right to have more people -- like 20. I’m so nervous about this. Even though I know the people, I worry that bringing that many people together could be dangerous. How should I handle this? -- Social Distancing

DEAR SOCIAL DISTANCING: Trust your gut. If you feel that the group in question may be too large, pare it down a bit. Talk to your friend about your concerns, and discuss a compromise or other ways to configure the event.

For example, can everything be done outside? Perhaps you can serve individual-size drinks and food items so that nobody has to touch things twice. Space out seating so that people are at least 6 feet apart. Place hand sanitizer in clear view. Put wipes in the bathroom, and instruct guests to wipe down the sink and seat with each use. If you can remain vigilant throughout the party, you may be able to host an ode to summer safely -- even if it is smaller than the original vision.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is so nervous about starting school that she has developed hives. She is normally a late sleeper, but recently she has been waking in the middle of the night freaked out because her face, neck and arms are covered with hives. I have applied calamine lotion to her skin and sat and rocked her like I did when she was a baby, but it takes hours for them to die down. I haven’t wanted to disturb her doctor since this is not a dire emergency, but I’m at my wit’s end. What should I do? -- Hives

DEAR HIVES: Call your daughter’s pediatrician immediately and describe what is happening. For the hives, there is likely a topical or internal medication that can be prescribed to neutralize them.

Beyond that, have your daughter talk to the doctor and explain what’s going on. Is she having nightmares? What is inhabiting her thoughts? What are her concerns about school? As you listen, think about what you can do to support her. Has her school determined whether it will have remote learning or a hybrid? What do you feel comfortable with? Listen as intently as you can so that you can determine how best to calm your daughter and plan for the school year. This is a time of tremendous uncertainty. Be honest about what you don’t know, but also reinforce that you will do all in your power to protect her.

Her doctor may want her to speak with a mental health specialist to help her navigate her feelings. Support whatever recommendation the pediatrician has as you begin this new chapter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am newly married and living in a new home, and I just had a baby. Life is fantastic. I am grateful. My best friend, however, is now the “messy auntie.” She shows up at my house at all hours, never wants to help with the baby but wants to play with him. She eats and drinks all of our food and never cleans up. She has really bought into the whole idea of playing with the baby and returning it to the mommy when it cries. She says she comes to help, but she just creates an inconvenience for me when she tells me to take a break, but my break always gets interrupted.

I love my best friend, but now that I’m a mom, it is like she wants to be my kid, too. She has never been so carefree before. She’s taking control of my new home and family. My husband kicks her out for me, but I do not have the heart to tell her how exhausted she is making me. I do not want to be a bad friend and start ignoring her calls and dodging her, but I don’t know what to say either. -- Messy Auntie

DEAR MESSY AUNTIE: Your job is to put your foot down with your friend and educate her. Chances are, she doesn’t know how to be helpful. You need to tell her how her behavior is negatively impacting you, your family and your life. Tell her you love her and need her to support in specific ways. The clearer you are, the more likely your best friend will fall in line.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of 10 grandchildren. Our grandmother passed away last month, and her will left everything to her eldest daughter, my mother. My mother has Alzheimer’s disease, and I have fiduciary duty over her accounts. All of my family -- aunts, uncles and cousins -- have been coming at me to split up my grandmother’s money and give it to everyone since my mom isn’t going to do anything with it.

Since my mother is unable to make a decision as to what to do with the money, I have decided to leave it in an account or invest it into a CD. I announced this news to the family, hoping that everyone would leave me alone, but it made the situation worse. Some have confided their problems to me, while others (with whom I have not had a close relationship before) are being really nice to me, and the rest are threatening to take me to court. They seem to think that I am planning to keep the money for myself after my mother dies. The last thing on my mind is losing my mother.

All I can do is cry. Death and money have divided my family, and all I want to do is run away and never talk to them again -- but that will only confirm their accusations against me and land me in court. Should I just give them the money and let them devour each other over it? I never had a lot of money to begin with, and it doesn’t seem worth it to me now. -- Family Odds

DEAR FAMILY ODDS: Consult with an attorney who specializes in handling wills and family estates. Learn your legal rights and ask for recommendations for how to handle matters as thoughtfully as possible. While you may be under no obligation to share any resources with the family, think about what your mother might have done if she were of sound mind. Sharing something with your family members will go a long way toward family unity.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)