DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who took months to pay me for a job I did. Eventually, she sent me the payment in two checks. After I received them, she called me frantically, telling me to deposit the first half immediately to ensure that it got paid; she asked me to hold off on depositing the second check. Later that day, she sent me an urgent text saying that I needed to deposit the money that very day.

Naturally, I wanted to get those checks in my bank account right away, but the experience was extremely distressing. Her frantic notes came at the end of the business day, when I could not get to my credit union to make a deposit in time. She made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Meanwhile, she is the one who took months to pay me. I get that she is a small business, but I had no idea that it would be this difficult just to get paid.

She just called me like nothing happened and asked me to work with her again. I am reluctant to agree, given how awful this experience was. A friend pointed out to me that she did pay. Should I work with her again? How can I make it a better experience if I do? -- Restart

DEAR RESTART: What is evident is that this client is struggling financially. It also seems that she wants to do right by her vendors. Yes, it took a long time for you to be paid, but yes, she paid you in full. Sadly, there are plenty of businesses large and small that do not honor their commitments as they hire vendors to fulfill services.

You have to evaluate your needs versus your tolerance for the frenetic way in which this client works. If you can afford to walk away from her and fulfill your bottom line with more reliable clients, by all means do not accept any more work from her. If you need this client, talk to her about how you might manage your expectations better. Ask her upfront how long she thinks it will take to pay for the job you are about to do. And then take a page out of her book and cash her check immediately when you receive it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who wrote me a rather caustic note several years ago. It turned out to be a premonition of sorts. She said that if I did not change my habits, I would end up sick and in need of support at the very time that my son was about to become an adult. She warned that I would be robbing my son of his independence if I didn’t get my act together. I was so mad at her.

Well, here we are about 10 years later, and my health issues have started to interfere in my life. I fear that my friend was right with her warning, which I did not heed. I feel like I should apologize to her and scramble to see what I can do to avoid being a burden to my son in the near future. -- Facing a Premonition

DEAR FACING A PREMONITION: Right now you need to focus on your health. Go to the doctor. Create a manageable plan to get your health back on track. Rather than admitting your missteps to your friend, be in touch with her when you are on your way to better health practices. Claim the positive, and go for it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a great-aunt who took her own life when she reached retirement age. She was a domestic worker for her whole life, and when she couldn’t work anymore, she lived with my grandmother and felt like a burden.

One day, she sat on a sofa and told the family that she wasn’t going to eat anymore; she never ate another morsel of food. She died some months later. Her rationale was that she didn’t want to be a burden on the family.

I feel like I am in the same boat. I have not worked for several years. I have exhausted my savings; I lost my home and have no prospects of earning income. My family has offered to take me in, but I would hate to be a burden on them. Do you think I should just stop eating like my great-aunt? It seems like a slow death, but at least I would not be stealing food off my family’s table. -- Way to Go

DEAR WAY TO GO: Your great-aunt’s demise is tragic, even if it represents her taking control of her life. I pray that you will not make that choice. Instead, if you truly have no assets, you can look to the government for support. While this may be an arduous, unpleasant process, you may be able to find government housing for seniors that will take you in during this tender period in your life.

Don’t give up. Do your research to find help so that your family does not have to carry your weight and so that you can stay alive and vital. For more details, go to eldercaredirectory.org/state-resources.htm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My college student daughter came home with a ring in her nose. I am dumbfounded. I don’t mean to be a prude, but why would she do such a thing? She says she wants to work in the financial sector, meaning Wall Street or someplace like that. While other business areas may be more flexible, my understanding of the financial world is that it is still very conservative. I can’t imagine that a nose ring will be positive for her on job interviews.

I don’t want to be the mom who is always telling my child what to do, but I can’t imagine what was in her head. How can I get her to wake up and pay closer attention to the career choice she has made for herself? I don’t want her to fail before she gets started. -- Nose Ring Vs. Career

DEAR NOSE RING VS. CAREER: It is still your role to guide your daughter. Organize a face-to-face meeting with her where you agree to have a candid conversation. Ask your daughter why she got a nose ring. Bite your tongue, and let her explain. Ask her what she thinks the repercussions might be in her field of interest. Listen for her response.

Tell her what you know about the financial services world. Point out that as codes of conduct and style of dress are softening in many business arenas, to your knowledge, they are still pretty conservative in finance. Ask her if she has thought about whether the way she presents herself could affect the way that she is received in her field of interest.

Suggest that she reconsider the nose ring. Worst case scenario, suggest that she hide it or remove it for job interviews.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has told me he is depressed. He has a therapist and seems to be working through his issues, but I worry about him. With so many stories of suicide these days, I don’t want to be the friend who didn’t notice the warning signs. He does still talk to me, and he says that he is seeking help. He broke up with his girlfriend about a year ago, and he hasn’t been right since. I want to be the best friend that I can to him during this time. What do you recommend? -- Fighting Depression

DEAR FIGHTING DEPRESSION: Continue to stay in close communication with your friend. Be a good listener. Notice if his conversation changes in a way that might indicate a pivot toward self-harm. If so, ask him if he is following his therapist’s directions and if he needs more support.

Otherwise, without casting any judgment, keep him engaged. Let him know how much you care about him, avoid offering your evaluation of his situation and remind him that you want the best for him. If he asks you for advice or guidance that you do not have the capability to give, tell him as much. Remind him that you are not a therapist. You are a friend.

Also, take care of yourself. Make sure that you do not get so immersed in your friend’s troubles that you forget to watch out for your mental, spiritual and physical health. Do not allow this friend to absorb all of your time. For more ideas, go to healthline.com/health/how-to-help-a-depressed-friend.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is elderly, so my siblings and I tend not to tell her all of our troubles anymore. She gets to worrying, and it’s not good.

I’m supposed to have a routine medical procedure soon, and I’m a little nervous about it. Normally I would tell my mother, but I feel like I should keep it to myself. How do you think I should handle this? -- Protecting Mom

DEAR PROTECTING MOM: You are smart not to share all of the details of your medical challenges with your mother. Just as when you were little and you told your mother about a problem and she worried for days or weeks after you had gotten over it, so it is when your mother is older.

Instead, make sure that your siblings are informed about your health status and whatever you are undergoing. Have them monitor the situation so that if there is an emergency, they will be able to loop in your mother and address any serious concerns that come up.

At the same time, do not lie to your mother. It is better to speak in generalities with her so that she has a sense of what’s happening in your life. In this way, a medical issue does not have to be a total shock to her system. But you do not need to inform her of every test or procedure that you have.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)