DEAR HARRIETTE: A note was posted on my apartment door informing the tenants that one of the long-time handymen in the building is ill and won’t be coming back. The person who posted this notice asked if we, the tenants, would make a donation to help him during his time of need.

I feel sorry for this man, but I never had much interaction with him. I would see him in the morning sometimes when he was collecting the trash or sweeping the hallways. He doesn’t speak English, so we didn’t ever say more than “good morning” or “thank you.” Should I make a donation even though I hardly spoke to the man? -- Helping Hand

DEAR HELPING HAND: In a word -- YES! You might be amazed to learn how much this man has done to create comfort for you quietly, behind the scenes.

Too often, handymen, porters, concierges, front desk attendants and other support staff are overlooked. (The holiday season is the one time when tips are expected.) But they rarely make high wages, so the contributions that you and the other tenants make will likely go far to help this man during his time of need. Give generously as soon as you can! Add a card expressing your wishes for his improved health.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends loves the outdoors and the cold. I love the heat and the beach. Now that the winter weather is here, I don’t spend too much time outside.

We sometimes walk together in the park for exercise, and my friend has invited me to walk with her for the next week or so, when the weather forecast predicts 30 degrees or below. She considers this mild. I consider it prime weather to trigger an asthma attack. I hate to bring up my health issues, but I don’t want to risk an uncontrollable coughing fit in order to accommodate her request. How should I handle this? I know she thinks I’m a wuss when I turn down certain exercise activities, but this one doesn’t sound smart for me. -- Block the Cold

DEAR BLOCK THE COLD: You know your body; pay attention to it. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t walk outside with your friend. Assess your winter wardrobe. Do you have a warm hat, scarf, coat and gloves? You should have something to block the wind and cold from your face. Test out your gear. After all, you do have to go outside in the weather, even when you are not with her. What would you normally wear? Figure out how to dress to protect yourself. Then test to see how long you can stay outside in the cold without triggering a coughing fit. Tell your friend you will try. Make sure you have your inhaler in case you have a problem. I’d suggest limiting your walk to less than 30 minutes to avoid getting too cold.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: We are approaching the end of this year, and I hate to admit it, but I have not reached the goals I set for myself back in January. It seems like the year has zipped by. I worked a lot, but not on the things that I had prioritized. I have mainly done the status quo: working to pay the bills, seeing my friends a little bit, communicating more on social media than anything and mostly being isolated. I haven’t had the money to hang out with people, so I have become a bit of a homebody. But now I see that my choices have left me squarely where I was a year ago, though probably about 15 pounds heavier. I am disgusted with myself. What can I do to be more committed now? I know it’s too late for this year, but I don’t want to give up on myself. -- Dashed Intentions

DEAR DASHED INTENTIONS: Every day that you wake up presents a new opportunity to set an intention and follow through on it. I think part of the problem with New Year’s resolutions is that they are often unwieldy or vague and virtually impossible to manage.

Forget about what you pledged earlier this year. Take a good, hard look at today. What do you need to do to make yourself happy? Make a list of 10 things that you would like to accomplish that can lead you to your goals. Make them concrete and manageable. For example, if losing weight is one of them, add more detail, such as cutting out sugar for a month -- then counting down each day of the month -- or working out three days a week -- then marking the days on the calendar and scheduling your workout time so that you don’t miss it. The same can go for career goals, in-person connections with friends and loved ones and so on. If you break down each goal into small steps, you can check off the steps as you accomplish them. This should make you happy!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle has been ill on and off all his life. He's currently sick. The trouble is that when he gets ill, he puts up an imaginary protective bubble around himself, which no one can enter. When you ask his wife what's happening, she won't answer. Each successive bout of illness has put that much more strain on my uncle's system. Nobody knows what's wrong, but I fear he'll pass away soon. I want to see him again before he dies; if I don't, I'm afraid I'll regret it. However, he's emphatic about not letting anyone in right now. I desperately need to know what's wrong. How can I solve these conundrums and find answers before I lose my uncle? -- Last Wishes

DEAR LAST WISHES: Chances are, you will have the best chance of seeing your uncle again if you stop asking what’s wrong with him. Clearly, your aunt and uncle have decided they don’t want to talk about your uncle’s health. Accept that you cannot control your uncle’s fate. Tell your aunt that you miss them and want to visit. Be direct and let her know that you want to be able to say goodbye before your uncle passes. Promise that you won’t stay long. If she refuses, pray for them and accept that you may not be able to see him again. She is doing the best she can, so try not to get mad at her

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I bought some jewelry from a vendor, but I needed to return it. We organized the return, but she gave me the wrong ZIP code. It took me a month to track the package so that she could pick it up. Now it has been another month, and she hasn’t gone to pick it up. At this point, I’m tired of waiting for my money back. It’s on her that she has had family and work issues and hasn’t been able to go to the distribution center to pick up the package. I feel that I should not have to wait any longer.

The vendor agreed to refund me if I returned the items to her. I have done my part. How can I get her to comply? It’s the holidays, and I could use that extra money. Plus, I don’t like the way she is handling her business. It shouldn’t take nearly two months to resolve this situation. -- Money Back Please

DEAR MONEY BACK PLEASE: Contact the vendor and express your sorrow for whatever challenges she has been facing. Also let her know that you believe you have waited long enough, and you would like to receive a refund now. If you use any of the electronic methods of money transfer, suggest that to her. If you paid by credit card, ask her to refund your card. Make it clear that you would like those funds to be released to you as soon as possible. Give her a date by which you expect to receive them. Make it clear that you are no longer willing to wait for her to go to the distribution center to retrieve the items. You have given her plenty of time to handle that -- and the items would have reached her directly had she given you the proper address.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I get sick every year around the holidays. The same thing used to happen to my mother. She would go into overdrive going to tons of events, and right before Christmas, she would be in bed with a cold. I have noticed that I follow the same pattern, even though it is not a conscious decision. What can I do to balance my time better? I am excited to be invited to all these events, and I feel it is good for business for me to attend. But I also know that it is not healthy to get sick every year after overdoing it. How can I strike a balance? -- Party Girl

DEAR PARTY GIRL: You must take care of yourself -- especially during this busy season. As far as your schedule goes, map out all your invitations and prioritize them. Accept that you cannot attend everything. Go to the events that matter the most to you, and don’t stay to the end if you can leave early.

Drink a lot of water -- more than usual if you also drink alcohol. Exercise three times per week. Eat in moderation, and be mindful of cocktail party food that is usually high in salt and calories and low in nutrition. Pay attention to when you go to sleep. Getting enough rest is what doctors say most people neglect to do. With proper rest and nutrition, as well as wearing warm clothes, you may be able to curtail illness. Wash your hands frequently, and slow down when you begin to feel bad.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)