DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to have my wedding anniversary. My husband and I have been married more than 20 years, so we are not in need of a fuss to acknowledge our anniversary. It does bother me a little, though, that my husband was asked to go away for work on our anniversary weekend. This means that we will not be together on the day or even the extended weekend that follows. Worse still, he didn’t ask me what I thought about it. He just accepted the assignment and informed me that he would not be around. We do need the money, but I still feel uncomfortable about how this was handled. What can I do? -- Missed Anniversary

DEAR MISSED ANNIVERSARY: Rather than allowing yourself to get sad or angry because your husband will be away on your actual anniversary, talk to him about planning something special either before or after he goes away. You can create a lovely activity that you both will cherish without spending much money or time. Yes, you have been together long enough to not have to create a big acknowledgment. But remember that it is a blessing and a sign of commitment to your union that you have reached this moment in your lives together. Mark it with something noteworthy that you do together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a fairly strict parent about schoolwork and social life, but I haven’t been so strict about bedtime. My daughter is now 15 years old, and she hardly ever goes to sleep before 11 p.m. The problem is that she has to wake up at 6 a.m. She is not getting enough sleep.

I have been trying to reinforce earlier sleeping hours, but I feel like it’s too late. On the weekends, she sleeps like 10 hours, but I still think she should go to bed earlier on school nights. How can I get her to do that? -- Teenage Bedtime

DEAR TEENAGE BEDTIME: It can be challenging to get a teenager to follow directions, even when they are part of the daily routine. Imposing bedtime on a teen can be a huge challenge, but it is not insurmountable. Use logic and boundaries to support your decision. Tell your daughter why you want her to go to sleep earlier -- her health and her mental well-being. Offer her incentives for the earlier bedtime, like if she goes to sleep earlier, studies longer and does better in her classes, she gets a reward. Pick something she values.

Then, to enforce the new bedtime, take away electronic devices and turn off the lights at whatever time you want your daughter to go to sleep. Make sure that there are no electronics in her room that could prove to be a distraction. You will likely need to go to sleep at the same time in order to keep your home quiet and so that your daughter knows that you mean business.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like too many people around me are getting sick. My best friend has been battling breast cancer for several years. Another close friend’s husband was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. My neighbor’s husband has metastatic prostate cancer. And that’s only the people closest to me. It is overwhelming for the ones who are sick and for their friends. I want to be a support to my friends, but I’m not sure how to do it. I am scared for them, and I don’t really know what to say. -- Supporting My Sick Friends

DEAR SUPPORTING MY SICK FRIENDS: The commitment that couples make when they marry comes to mind now -- in sickness and in health. Being a good friend to your loved ones who are fighting illness calls on that muscle that gives you the strength to stay by their side even when it’s tough. The way to be there is to be a good listener. You don’t need to try to solve any problems. Instead, just listen. Let your friends share their feelings, concerns and hopes. Resist the desire to try to solve their problems or be their doctor. Just be present in ways that make them feel supported and that don’t drain you too much.

You should also be vigilant about your own health. Be sure to get an annual complete physical, exercise regularly and eat a healthy, well-balanced diet.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has worked in Hollywood for about 15 years. He had a good run getting gigs and making a little money, but it seems like his day in the sun, so to speak, has ended. I have tried to contact him just to be a friend. I still live in our hometown, but we have kept in touch over the years. I figured he could use an old friend from back in the day to be there for him, but he isn’t responding. I can’t solve his career or financial problems, but I would like to be there for him for moral support. How can I get that message to him? -- Take My Hand

DEAR TAKE MY HAND: Send your friend a note with an invitation to hang out for a long weekend. Offer to come to him or add the options of meeting someplace else or even back at home. Tell him you think it’s time for the two of you to have some good old fun. Don’t bring up his career status. Keep it light.

Follow up with a call. If he doesn’t answer, leave the same upbeat message on his voicemail letting him know you miss him and want to get together. In the end, your friend has to grasp what’s happening in his life and make the appropriate changes in order to survive. It may take him a minute to come out of his funk in order to recognize the value of your outreach. Don’t give up on him. Periodically check in to see if he is ready to re-emerge.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have constantly been labeled as "weird" or "socially awkward" by my family and peers. These terms are not ones I view as positive, and I don’t like being associated with them. I don’t know what specifically makes people view me as such, and I struggle because what I think of as normal obviously turns people off in a way.

I try to compare myself to others to see what I do differently from them. I also pay attention to my nonverbal mannerisms, but I cannot pinpoint what the issue is. Some people complain that I don’t smile, but when I do try and smile more, I am viewed as creepy or too happy. Some people think I am too quiet, but when I make the effort to talk, they express disinterest. No matter what I do, it is never properly received by others. This oftentimes leads to me being mocked and made fun of.

I am tired of feeling like something is wrong with me. This causes me to not want to interact with anyone or go outside at all. But I know that it is unhealthy to stay hidden in the house all day. How can I adapt myself to be accepted and to gain some confidence? -- Social Outcast

DEAR SOCIAL OUTCAST: A lot of people are socially awkward. Even though you may feel alone, know that you are not. It doesn’t help that your family members participate in this name-calling.

Go outside of your comfort zone to associate with a new group of people. Think about what interests you. What are your hobbies or areas of interest that can take you outside of your home? Look for events in those categories so that you can go where like-minded people gather. When you and those around you are interested in the same subject, conversation will naturally lead to that topic rather than to an analysis of your behavior.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I did not get a chance to join a sorority in college, and I feel as though I missed out on an experience. I know that there are graduate chapters for people such as myself, but I hear that it is difficult to get invited to join. I really value camaraderie and networking, and I feel like joining a sorority would give me a sense of purpose. What are some ways that you know for women in my situation to join one? -- Sorority Bound

DEAR SORORITY BOUND: Believe it or not, joining a sorority in grad chapter may be easier than when you are in college. At least this is true for some sororities.

In general, many people are interested in joining sororities, often more than there are spaces to join. I say this not to discourage you, but instead to prompt you to cast your net a bit wider. There are many women’s organizations that offer a strong sense of camaraderie and sisterhood with the added bonus of public service. Do research in your areas of interest to learn what organizations are active where you live. You can look up female-focused not-for-profits and sororities for starters. Find out what feels like a match. Prepare your resume and application materials carefully. Find sponsors when needed, and go for it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)