DEAR HARRIETTE: When I travel on business, it is often with another colleague. We typically eat our meals together in between meetings, but we have to file separate expense reports. In the interest of time, I often buy my colleague a coffee or other breakfast items. I used to include these things on my expense report, but the accounting office is getting stricter. I told my colleague that now he has to pay for his own coffee and even gave him the receipt for one that I picked up for him. He did not reimburse me. I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I also do not intend to pay for his food. How can I get him to understand that he has to cover his own expenses? -- No More Coffee

DEAR NO MORE COFFEE: This one is easy, even if it may feel awkward. Stop buying your colleague coffee, snacks or whatever else you used to purchase. You set the tone for this, by the way, by making these purchases and expensing them yourself. He probably isn’t fully aware of the impact of him not picking up his own tab. Nonetheless, if you stop buying his food items, he won’t have them anymore, and it will be jarring. Tell him that you will pick them up if he gives you the money in advance. Otherwise, he has to make the purchases himself. Company rules.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was feeling really down the other day, and I told one of my good friends that I sometimes think I am worth more dead than alive. I said it because I bought a sizable insurance policy after my daughter was born. I don’t mean to sound morbid, but when I am struggling to pay for food and worried sick about everything, I remember that my daughter gets $1 million when I’m gone. That said, I’m not thinking about offing myself. I guess I hold onto that fact in case I never get my finances together. Anyway, my friend now calls me every week worried I’m going to do something rash. I am not. How can I calm her down? -- Not Suicidal

DEAR NOT SUICIDAL: You may not consider yourself suicidal, but you are not in a healthy frame of mind. Your friend, who cares about you, is right to check in to make sure that you are not teetering on the edge of taking your life. The dangle of the $1 million for your daughter is a hefty lure that could become more attractive if your circumstances grow direr.

What you may want to do is see a counselor. In the best of worlds, it would be good to see a psychologist and a money manager. With support from professionals, you may be able to climb out of your crisis and be able to see the world from a more positive perspective. For now, thank your friend for checking in. It is a kind and helpful thing for her to do. Hopefully it gives you the knowledge that you are loved no matter what your circumstances.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I travel a lot for my work, but the schedule is so tight that it rarely works out for me to catch up with friends or family when I am in a particular city. Because of this, I rarely even let people know I am going to be in their town -- it just makes them mad if they know I’m there but I don’t have time to call or see them.

On my last trip, I had a moment when I was eating and noticed how beautiful it looked outside, so I took a photo and posted it on social media. Well, that wasn’t a good idea. Next thing you know, my friends and family who live in that area blew me up on Facebook and on my voicemail saying how hurt they were that I didn’t call. I’m sorry that my schedule is so crazy, but I feel like I deserve to have a few moments when I can share highlights of my life. Otherwise, I will feel like a total recluse even though I am seeing the world. How can I handle these people’s expectations? -- Out of Touch

DEAR OUT OF TOUCH: I’m sorry that your schedule is so tight that you have no time for loved ones, but I understand that some jobs are that taxing on their staffs.

One solution for this situation is the next time you post on social media, add a caption that acknowledges that you are in a place where people you love live, you are sorry you don’t have time to see them, but you are thinking of them and wanted to share this moment that you captured as you were heading to your destination. If you can include them, even if it is through cyberspace, this may help ease their longing to connect with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I borrowed money from a friend years ago when I was down and out, and I wasn’t able to pay it back. This caused a rift in our friendship; I knew he didn’t have much, but he still shared what he had with me. Now I’m doing better in my life and have a stable job. I don’t have much, but I do have the money to pay back my friend. It has been a long time. There’s a chance he won’t even remember, or worse, that me bringing it up with dredge up old feelings, but I feel like I should do my duty and pay him back. What do you think? -- Pay It Back

DEAR PAY IT BACK: By all means, you should give your friend the money you owe him, even though it’s from years back. If you are still in the same town and still connected, arrange to see him and give it to him personally. Otherwise, write him a note and a check. Tell him how grateful you were way back then when he was able to help you and how sorry you are that it took so long for you to reimburse him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I have been going through it the past few months. We love each other, but we have not been getting along. I am a talker, and I want to work with her to talk things out. The other day, I was having an intense conversation with her about feelings, and in the middle of that conversation, she got a phone call from a friend. She excused herself and got off the phone with me to chitchat with her friend, then didn’t call me back for an hour.

How can I explain what’s wrong with that in a way that she can hear? It’s not about not talking to the friend but about prioritizing the discussion about our relationship. We were right in the middle of a heated conversation when she jumped off. I thought that was incredibly rude. -- Need to Talk

DEAR NEED TO TALK: I wonder how often you and your girlfriend have been having these “intense” conversations. It is odd that she would jump off of your call to “chitchat” with her friend. She knew that would upset you. Chances are, she does not want to talk, is worn out by talking or feels at a standstill about the success of your conversations. Her shifting to “chitchat” with her friend suggests that she did not want to continue to conversation. Your hurt feelings about how long it took for her to call you back further emphasize how unappealing the idea of continuing the conversation is for her.

You need to adopt a different approach. If talking to you about your relationship becomes something she dreads, I fear the talks will stop. You need to figure out what she wants in this relationship. Do your best to get her to tell you what her ideal relationship with you looks like. Then compare notes. If there is a meeting of the minds, you have a chance of success. I highly recommend that you get a professional therapist to help guide your discussions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a freelance writer, and I have been doing a lot of work for a woman who is developing her social media presence. She is not a great writer, so she trusts me to get her ideas out in a captivating way. I am grateful for the work, but it has gotten a bit dicey. In order for her to get comfortable talking to me about the subjects she wants to address, she gets tipsy first. Just about every time we talk, she has clearly been drinking. Sometimes that means I can’t understand all of her words. Sometimes she is too flirty. It gets awkward if she has had too much to drink. Should I say anything? -- Tipsy Client

DEAR TIPSY CLIENT: Schedule your meetings with this client earlier in the day, when it is likely that she may not have been drinking. During a lucid moment, admit that as much as you want to help her, it is difficult when she is tipsy. Call it what it is -- kindly. Tell her you know it can be daunting to reveal her thoughts to you. Remind her that you support her totally. Tell her, though, that it really is tough for you to do your work when she is not always speaking clearly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)