DEAR HARRIETTE: Several people in my neighborhood work for the government, and the stress of the shutdown is wearing on them. My husband and I are on Social Security, so we rely on the government, too. We are in a situation that feels like a sinking ship.

I think it might be smart for us to band together and cook some meals. Sometimes it costs less when you make more. I don’t know. I hate seeing people suffer. Do you think it’s a good idea to suggest a potluck kind of thing? Maybe it could boost people’s spirits if we are all together? We have gotten together before over the years, but usually for happy reasons. -- Shutdown

DEAR SHUTDOWN: First, I want to say that I hope that by the time this is published, the government shutdown is over. It is already the longest in recorded history, which is nothing for us to feel good about. I have seen and read many stories of individuals and families who are struggling. This crisis has revealed that many Americans live from paycheck to paycheck. As we hear stories about the "booming" economy, I have consistently heard people complain that they don’t know who is benefiting from this boom.

Your idea for a neighborhood potluck is excellent. It represents a way that everyone can break bread together more affordably as you offer support and good fellowship. Knowing that you are not alone at a time like this can be helpful. When you invite your neighbors, make it easy for them to participate by being a good organizer. State what you will make and ask what they can bring. Keep your tone upbeat so that they know this gathering is meant to inspire everyone to weather this economic storm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in an apartment building with a lot of different people of various backgrounds. One elderly woman is kind and talkative. Whenever I see her, she wants to have a leisurely conversation about whatever is on her mind. It’s sweet, and I want to be able to spend time with her, but usually I am dashing off to work or to an appointment. I see how frustrating it can be for her when she is ready to settle in for a chat and I have to run. I don’t mean to hurt her feelings. How can I best address this situation? I know I can’t make myself available every time I see her, but there’s got to be something I can do to be more attentive to her. -- Time for Elders

DEAR TIME FOR ELDERS: Always greet your neighbor with a warm smile and hello. When you know you cannot stop, tell her you have to go, but you look forward to speaking with her at another time. Follow up with her, and ask if you can bring her tea or come to visit from time to time. If you do make a date, make sure you show up on time. Be prepared to stay awhile, but also manage expectations by letting her know how long you can stay and that you will return.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I totally put my foot in my mouth. I was talking about the horrible things that often happen to women who have babies in their teens. I know I sounded high and mighty because I don’t approve of teen mothers. I think it’s way too difficult to provide a healthy life for the baby. Still, I never have meant to insult anyone. It turns out that my co-worker had a child when she was 16. Now she is 40-something, and her life is great. Her first child is healthy and productive, as are the rest of her kids. She glared at me when I made my comment. What can I say to make amends with her? I did not mean to offend her, but I know I did. -- Loud Mouth

DEAR LOUD MOUTH: I was at a women’s conference a few years ago when something similar happened. There was someone on a panel talking about the perils of teen pregnancy and how horrible people’s lives usually are when they have children too young. The speaker went on and on, using statistics, to explain why having a baby when you are a teen is a horrible idea. When it came time for questions, a well-dressed, professional woman stood up and blasted the speaker. She said she was tired of listening to people bad-mouth her. Yes, she had a child at 15. No, it wasn’t ideal. But she has built a great life for herself, and so has her now-grown child. She cautioned people about passing judgment and said that we all have struggles, so we should be careful about how harshly we condemn others.

I never forgot that moment. Of course, it can be difficult and often financially debilitating for a teenager to have a child. But we should be mindful that plenty of them do, and those children and parents need support, just like the rest of us.

Go to your co-worker and apologize for expressing your thoughts. Tell her that you are learning from her the harshness of your own views. Assure her that you didn’t mean to offend and that you realize that teen pregnancy, like so many other topics, is multidimensional, and you are no expert on it. Ask for her forgiveness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are older, in their early 90s. They have been healthy, but now they are a bit fragile. I feel so grateful to still have them. Their minds are sharp, too. Being older, they are starting to need support. Whenever I can’t reach them on the phone, I freak out. The same goes for my siblings. I recommended that they get those alarms for calling the police, but my parents won’t think of it. They say they want to stay “young.” I get it in that maybe this is how they have stayed vital for so long. But they are 90-plus! Come on. I need them to have safeguards for potential accidents. How can I convince them that this is important? -- Keeping Parents Safe

DEAR KEEPING PARENTS SAFE: Ask your parents for a compromise. Have them agree that they will check in with you or one of your siblings every three hours. Set up a schedule with them, and implement it for a month. It is likely that they will not want so much engagement throughout the day, even if it is a momentary call. After a month, tell them that if they would be willing to wear the alarm necklace that they can push in case of emergency, you and your siblings will not have to police them so strenuously. Chances are, they will go for it then!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter, who is in the seventh grade, says she wants to get a nose stud. A couple of her friends at school have gotten their noses pierced, and she wants to do it too. I am completely against this. She is too young, in my estimation, to make a decision that could affect her livelihood. I can say no, but I want her to understand that I don’t think this is a smart idea at this point in her life. What can I say? -- No Nose Piercing

DEAR NO NOSE PIERCING: Your ongoing job as a parent is to teach your child the values that you hold dear. This includes regularly talking about what is important to you and why. Cause and effect figure prominently in this dialogue. When you do X, it could mean Y. In the case of a nose piercing, ask her what the implications of that might be on her life down the line. Talk to her about her hopes and dreams. Have her think about people who have jobs that she considers interesting and consider how those people present themselves. Helping her to develop a vision for her future based on what she is learning should help her to see that a nose piercing could be limiting.

In a job interview, a pierced nose will be noticeable and potentially off-putting for many professional pursuits. Let her know that when she becomes an adult, at age 18, she will have the right to make this choice if she likes. Hopefully by then she will have enough tools and insights to make an informed decision. Right now is too early.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am looking for a job right now, and it has been tough. I am a college graduate with the credentials to be able to get some kind of a job -- or so I thought. But it’s been tough finding anything. I get pretty nervous, and what has been happening at job interviews is that I sweat a lot. It comes through my blouse sometimes, and it looks awful. What can I do to gain more confidence when I’m interviewing? And is there anything I can do about all of the sweating? -- Sweaty Interviewee

DEAR SWEATY INTERVIEWEE: Even though statistics say that the United States is adding more jobs each month, many people are not feeling that sense of abundance of opportunity as they look for work. Be persistent, creative and patient. The more confident you feel about yourself and your abilities, the better able you will be able to master an interview. For starters, think creatively about each position before you go to an interview. What unique qualities and interests do you bring that the employer might want or need? Be ready to talk about that. Your uniqueness matched to their needs is a recipe for success.

Regarding the sweating, go to the drug store and invest in dress shields. They are like sanitary pads that go in the armpits of your blouse. Men can use them in their shirts as well! They absorb perspiration and help you look calm and collected. Also, avoid coffee or any hot drinks before an interview. Drink cool water and do some deep breathing before you walk in the door. Use a handkerchief to wipe your hands dry, too. A dry, firm handshake is a sign of a confident interviewee.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)