DEAR HARRIETTE: I totally put my foot in my mouth. I was talking about the horrible things that often happen to women who have babies in their teens. I know I sounded high and mighty because I don’t approve of teen mothers. I think it’s way too difficult to provide a healthy life for the baby. Still, I never have meant to insult anyone. It turns out that my co-worker had a child when she was 16. Now she is 40-something, and her life is great. Her first child is healthy and productive, as are the rest of her kids. She glared at me when I made my comment. What can I say to make amends with her? I did not mean to offend her, but I know I did. -- Loud Mouth

DEAR LOUD MOUTH: I was at a women’s conference a few years ago when something similar happened. There was someone on a panel talking about the perils of teen pregnancy and how horrible people’s lives usually are when they have children too young. The speaker went on and on, using statistics, to explain why having a baby when you are a teen is a horrible idea. When it came time for questions, a well-dressed, professional woman stood up and blasted the speaker. She said she was tired of listening to people bad-mouth her. Yes, she had a child at 15. No, it wasn’t ideal. But she has built a great life for herself, and so has her now-grown child. She cautioned people about passing judgment and said that we all have struggles, so we should be careful about how harshly we condemn others.

I never forgot that moment. Of course, it can be difficult and often financially debilitating for a teenager to have a child. But we should be mindful that plenty of them do, and those children and parents need support, just like the rest of us.

Go to your co-worker and apologize for expressing your thoughts. Tell her that you are learning from her the harshness of your own views. Assure her that you didn’t mean to offend and that you realize that teen pregnancy, like so many other topics, is multidimensional, and you are no expert on it. Ask for her forgiveness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are older, in their early 90s. They have been healthy, but now they are a bit fragile. I feel so grateful to still have them. Their minds are sharp, too. Being older, they are starting to need support. Whenever I can’t reach them on the phone, I freak out. The same goes for my siblings. I recommended that they get those alarms for calling the police, but my parents won’t think of it. They say they want to stay “young.” I get it in that maybe this is how they have stayed vital for so long. But they are 90-plus! Come on. I need them to have safeguards for potential accidents. How can I convince them that this is important? -- Keeping Parents Safe

DEAR KEEPING PARENTS SAFE: Ask your parents for a compromise. Have them agree that they will check in with you or one of your siblings every three hours. Set up a schedule with them, and implement it for a month. It is likely that they will not want so much engagement throughout the day, even if it is a momentary call. After a month, tell them that if they would be willing to wear the alarm necklace that they can push in case of emergency, you and your siblings will not have to police them so strenuously. Chances are, they will go for it then!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter, who is in the seventh grade, says she wants to get a nose stud. A couple of her friends at school have gotten their noses pierced, and she wants to do it too. I am completely against this. She is too young, in my estimation, to make a decision that could affect her livelihood. I can say no, but I want her to understand that I don’t think this is a smart idea at this point in her life. What can I say? -- No Nose Piercing

DEAR NO NOSE PIERCING: Your ongoing job as a parent is to teach your child the values that you hold dear. This includes regularly talking about what is important to you and why. Cause and effect figure prominently in this dialogue. When you do X, it could mean Y. In the case of a nose piercing, ask her what the implications of that might be on her life down the line. Talk to her about her hopes and dreams. Have her think about people who have jobs that she considers interesting and consider how those people present themselves. Helping her to develop a vision for her future based on what she is learning should help her to see that a nose piercing could be limiting.

In a job interview, a pierced nose will be noticeable and potentially off-putting for many professional pursuits. Let her know that when she becomes an adult, at age 18, she will have the right to make this choice if she likes. Hopefully by then she will have enough tools and insights to make an informed decision. Right now is too early.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am looking for a job right now, and it has been tough. I am a college graduate with the credentials to be able to get some kind of a job -- or so I thought. But it’s been tough finding anything. I get pretty nervous, and what has been happening at job interviews is that I sweat a lot. It comes through my blouse sometimes, and it looks awful. What can I do to gain more confidence when I’m interviewing? And is there anything I can do about all of the sweating? -- Sweaty Interviewee

DEAR SWEATY INTERVIEWEE: Even though statistics say that the United States is adding more jobs each month, many people are not feeling that sense of abundance of opportunity as they look for work. Be persistent, creative and patient. The more confident you feel about yourself and your abilities, the better able you will be able to master an interview. For starters, think creatively about each position before you go to an interview. What unique qualities and interests do you bring that the employer might want or need? Be ready to talk about that. Your uniqueness matched to their needs is a recipe for success.

Regarding the sweating, go to the drug store and invest in dress shields. They are like sanitary pads that go in the armpits of your blouse. Men can use them in their shirts as well! They absorb perspiration and help you look calm and collected. Also, avoid coffee or any hot drinks before an interview. Drink cool water and do some deep breathing before you walk in the door. Use a handkerchief to wipe your hands dry, too. A dry, firm handshake is a sign of a confident interviewee.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a neighborhood friend who visits his mother for three months at the beginning of the year. He is a nice guy, and we look out for each other. For the past couple of years, he has asked me to gather his mail and send it to him at the end of each week. I did it at first, but now I realize that this is a big responsibility. I don’t want to let him down, but it is too much for me to handle -- at least responsibly. My life got a lot busier with my own issues, and I have forgotten to send out his mail several times. I know that’s not right. What can I do? I don’t want to disappoint my friend. -- Not a Mailman

DEAR NOT A MAILMAN: Guess what? There is an easy and efficient solution here. Your friend can get the postal service to forward his mail to him directly for a specific period of time. It is extremely easy to do, and your friend can even handle it online. For a fee of $1, he can have his mail held, packaged and sent to his temporary location. He can have the mail redirected when he returns. The USPS will also bundle the mailing in an organized once-per-week shipment through Priority Mail, though the fee for that is higher.

Contact your friend and let him know the situation. As much as you want to help, you have not been able to be as reliable as in the past. Recommend that he use the Postal Service to deal with his mail, as it has a system in place for this need. For more information, go to: usps.com/manage/forward.htm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is into porn, big-time. I knew this back when we were dating, and occasionally he would want to watch porn movies while we were making love, but that ended years ago -- or so I thought. We have been married 15 years, and this hasn’t come up at all for more than 10 of them. I honestly thought this phase was over. That was until I caught him the other night watching something that was extremely raw. I suppose the good news is that he didn’t try to get me to join in, but it was disgusting. How can I get him to stop? -- No More Porn

DEAR NO MORE PORN: The pornography industry is huge for a reason: Many people engage it. Because it is so easy to access these days, many people view it in the privacy of their own homes.

You cannot necessarily get your husband to stop watching porn. You already know that you cannot control him. Tell him that it disturbed you to see that he was still watching it, and ask him to be more discreet. You can even ask him to stop viewing it, but don’t count on him following your recommendation. As long as his private viewing does not impact you personally or your family, you may need to let it go. One caution you may want to give him is to ensure that he does not use that same computer at work, as his browsing history can be viewed and possibly held against him. Also, if you have children, he must make sure that no pornographic sites are stored in the computer’s cache that they could accidentally stumble upon.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)