DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my recently separated friends enjoys hosting get-togethers at his place. They end up being more like singles mixers, which is pretty cool. I invited one of my girlfriends to introduce her to one of his friends. She’s looking to settle down, and so is he. These two have a lot in common, so I thought they would be a great couple. I introduced them, and the guy was wowed. She, on the other hand, said nothing other than that he was a nice guy. She didn’t seem interested, so I left it alone.

A few months later, my friend came to me and said, “What’s up with your homeboy?” I had no idea what she was talking about. She explained that she had taken an interest in my friend, the party host. That wasn’t the plan; he’s always been too into the ladies, which is probably why he’s heading toward a divorce.

Now my friend is coming to me asking about him. Not only is she asking questions about him, she is also badmouthing him at the same time. I find it hard to trust her; apparently she was sneaking around with him. The fact that she is now trying to attack his character is pretty horrible. We’ve never been close, so I’m wondering if it is worth it to keep a friend like this. -- Not My Friend, Riverdale, New York

DEAR NOT MY FRIEND: Don’t automatically dump this woman as your friend. Instead, check her on her behavior. Tell her that you never intended to connect her and the party host because you don’t consider him dating material -- at least not right now. But point out that he is your friend. Ask your girlfriend to resist the temptation to talk badly about him, at least to you. He is your friend, and you accept him for who he is, flaws and all. If she can’t handle his behavior, suggest that she stop trying to date him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother and I have never been close. I’ve worried that after our mother dies, he may leave my life completely. When we do talk, he is often rude or caustic.

Recently, he has been really nice and complimentary. He has been consistent with this new-found kindness. Should I trust it? I usually keep our conversations brief, but if he is now going to be friendly, I am willing to try to connect better with him. -- Should I Trust Him?, Dallas

DEAR SHOULD I TRUST HIM?: What do you have to lose? Go for it. Encourage your brother’s active participation in your family. Match his kind words and gestures with your own. Whatever has occurred to inspire him to be family-focused is great. Build on that. No need to ask why, either. Just be in the moment and enjoy your brother’s presence. Be grateful for this turn of events that creates space for meaningful connection among family members at this stage in your lives.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin seems to put a lot of energy into pyramid schemes. I’ve reached the point where I avoid him because he’s always pushing someone else’s product. Don’t get me wrong -- I’m all for entrepreneurs, but these schemes aren’t even his ideas. They are just get-rich-quick schemes sold to him. Every year, it’s a different story, everything from gold to hemp. He’s a pretty creative guy, and I would like to know how can I push him to come up with his own ideas and invest in himself? -- No More Pyramid Schemes, Detroit

DEAR NO MORE PYRAMID SCHEMES: Do your best to have compassion for your cousin. Yes, he seems to be caught up in what have turned out to be bad ideas, but pyramid schemes do not work for long. Now that you know his M.O., don’t fall prey to him again. Next time he approaches you with something suspicious, immediately express your concerns. Make it known that you do not approve of this idea. Tell him you think any business idea should be vetted by more than your cousin and his boys. Point out that your apprehension should be appealing to him, too, as it may save everybody money.

Suggest to your cousin that if he considers ideas that are not hinged on other people’s dreams without benefit of due diligence to determine their value, he may have a better chance at success.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my colleagues has a habit of not CC'ing me on important emails because he feels threatened about his job. He has been with the company a little longer than I have, but I have no interest in his job. However, I have a feeling the company wants me to be this person’s backup. It makes sense because, should he leave, the company will have no idea what’s going on in that position. How can I make it clear I need the emails and at the same time make this guy comfortable because I have no interest in his job? -- Just Doing My Job, Sausalito, California

DEAR JUST DOING MY JOB: You mention something curious -- if this man leaves, the job information will be missing. Do you or your company believe this man is likely to leave? If that is so, your boss needs to handle this man and his communications carefully.

Be direct with your co-worker. Tell him that you simply want to do your job, and that requires you to have copies of his emails. State clearly that you are not interested in his job. You want to do yours, and you need his participation in order to do so. If he refuses to comply, you will need to let your supervisor know because you could easily miss an important communication that you are supposed to be aware of. If you are to monitor information, you have to have access to all of the data required to do your job. Get your boss to support you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend has been complaining about how his co-worker is always looking for validation. This same friend comes to me on a regular basis looking for validation himself. This dude sends me samples of his work so I can give my “honest opinion.” The work is good, but I’ve had enough. Once in a while, it’s OK, but this has become more and more frequent. How do I explain to him he’s doing the same thing that he’s complaining to me about? -- Enough Validation, San Diego

DEAR ENOUGH VALIDATION: Usually what upsets people in others is exactly what is true about them, though they rarely notice it. In your friend’s case, it is true that most people crave validation. We all want to feel loved, respected and seen. Depending upon our backgrounds, the need for external support can vary dramatically.

A kind way for you to address this situation is to tell your friend that what you know about people, pretty much all people, is that we want to be accepted and respected. Point out that you have noticed that he gets frustrated by the co-worker who constantly wants validation, and you understand that it can get tiring at times. Then gently point out that your friend does the same thing with you. Be prepared to give a couple of examples, as he is likely unconscious of his behavior. Give him space to be embarrassed, but point out that we are all in this thing called life together. We need to give each other some slack and work on being more confident from the inside out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my family members desperately wants to get married but has horrible social skills. Overall, this person is nice and successful; she has a master’s degree and great credit, and she owns her home. But like I said, she has horrible social skills -- she either tries too hard or not at all. I would like to help.

I want to introduce her to someone I’ve dated in the past because I think they would make a great couple. There is a small problem: The woman I dated hints she wants to get back together, but I think only because she wants to get married. I’m definitely not interested. I think these two would be a great couple because they have accomplished similar goals, and both seem to be socially challenged. What are your thoughts about me introducing my ex to a close family member? -- Introducing the Ex, Seattle

DEAR INTRODUCING THE EX: Start with your ex. Be clear that you are not interested in being anything more than friends. Tell her that you have someone you think could be a great partner for her. If she seems interested, make it clear that this is a family member, so you want her to be sensitive to a meeting.

If she seems open to the possibility, speak to your family member and explain that you think your ex might be a great match for them. introduce them only if both of them are open to the idea. Obviously, you should keep your awareness of their social awkwardness to yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)